Grief support: Share your story and learn from others about coping with the loss of a sibling.

Related articles:
Are There Actual Stages of Grief?
The Grief of Sibling Survivors
Running Through the Pain
Family Reorganization After a Loss
After a Tragedy: What Kids Can Do
The Value of Reminiscing
What to Say: Rocky Relationships

Views: 9800

Replies to This Discussion

Hank,

I don't think I will every get over the loss of my brother and also seeing my parents be so sad, especially during holidays; that's the toughtest time. However, I will say that it is true what they say about time, time does heal. Especially being an only child, it's hard to go through, but I keep faith that one day I'll see my big brother again.

Take care,
Rachel

Hank said:
This is an overwhelming experience. How do people get to the point of being ok again? I have great respect for those that have gone thru this. I can't describe in words what i feel. I hope and pray i see my brother and all my loved ones again up in heaven.


Hank
Yea Rachel I feel your confusion as far as parents go. I feel so bad for them, but i need to grieve for myself and i'm concerned for their overall health. All i can do is look up in the sky and pray for help.

I hope that time will help but right now I'm in that mode where i think nothing can help.



Hank
Hank, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother suddenly and I think I was in shock for weeks, then the pain started. I am very glad that you found something to comfort you. You need to look for things like that to hold on. When my mother died I was comforted by the fact that she was no longer suffering, lonely and she was now with my father. When we watched her coffin going down beside my father I knew they were together once again.

Hank said:
Well it's been four weeks since the sudden passing of my brother and i know i can never be the same. I do feel less intensity of pain, however my sadness and sense off loss is more real now. I find comfort in two things: 1. that he is out of his downward spiral and free of pain and 2. of the many treasured memories that i can never and will never let go of.


Hank
Jean I am sorry for your loss as well. I'm glad you too have found some comfort. Its been a little over seven weeks since my brother passed away. He was a heroin/methadone addict so my grief seems to be complex. We had a very close, yet strained, relationship and i often feel very guilty about the strained aspects of our relationship. Do i blame him for the acts of betrayal he caused to our family(stealing TV's and money from us etc.)? If so i feel terrible. Was it the disease's fault? Ahhh the anguish. At the end of the day, though, he is gone and i miss the good times we had (he was semi-recovered and we had a great last year). The pain of this fact is so much more real now that my shock is tapering off. I have good hours, but mostly bad days and i dont know how this will pass. All i can do is look up and pray.

Best,

Hank
Hank, I can understand the confusion you are feeling. My father was an alcoholic and died because of it. I blamed the addiction for a while but later realized that it was he who chose to continue drinking. It hurt like hell to place the blame on him as he was a very good father when he wasn't drinking and I have many happy memories of him and all that he did with us. I went through the feelings of hating and loving him at the same time. It took me a very long time to forgive him. I know you will get through this but it will probably take a long time. Talking with others will probably be the most help. Good luck and take care.

Hank said:
Jean I am sorry for your loss as well. I'm glad you too have found some comfort. Its been a little over seven weeks since my brother passed away. He was a heroin/methadone addict so my grief seems to be complex. We had a very close, yet strained, relationship and i often feel very guilty about the strained aspects of our relationship. Do i blame him for the acts of betrayal he caused to our family(stealing TV's and money from us etc.)? If so i feel terrible. Was it the disease's fault? Ahhh the anguish. At the end of the day, though, he is gone and i miss the good times we had (he was semi-recovered and we had a great last year). The pain of this fact is so much more real now that my shock is tapering off. I have good hours, but mostly bad days and i dont know how this will pass. All i can do is look up and pray.

Best,

Hank
Ok so i had 2 pretty good days, then today was horrible. The agony is like a bearable anguish now that 7 1/2 weeks have passed. There are times, especially when I am with family, where I am fine. We tell all the old funny stories and recollect all the good times. But usually when i am back home just with my girlfriend it gets very difficult. I feel alone even though i am not lonely whatsoever. This feels like its going to be an awful year or two or 3 or 5 even??? I want to speak with him for just 5 minutes. Then i just curl up on the couch in a dull agony. I hate sympathy from others too, as if they know what its like. I just wish they could understand, but i guess no one can till they go through it themselves.
On the third of next month it will be eleven months since my big brother has passed and not one day has gone by where I don't think of him. Everything is still so vivid and so unreal that I can't stop crying at times. I loved my brother so very much because he was a big part of my life and now he's gone. I know he's in an awesome place and I just.....at times I just can't believe he's gone! I've been writing on this site since a week after his passing, not every day but once in a while. I know that I still hurt just as bad as I did when I first started sharing my story. I know I always will, because apart of me died when he did! I pray and I do talk to my brother, some days are better than others. BUT, that does'nt change the fact that I want to see his face and feel his hugs again.
my name is mindy my grandmother passed on november 4, 2008. she raised me from birth till i was 18 years of age.. the last 3 years i took care of her till my aunt came and got her a week before she died and took her to live with her.. we don't know how she died but many say cancer.. i don't think it is but i know she left the hospital a week before with a clean bill of health.. for i was the one who always took her... well the night she passed away i just got home from visiting her at my aunts when we got a phone call that her health took a turn for the worst when i got there all of us one by one took are turns at goodbye.. but for me i just couldn't do it.. well when the last person was up to go she was afriad to go alone so i walked in with her.. about 10 mintutes of my cousin laying next to her and 4 of us in her bed she took her last breath with me holding her hand as she went.. i will never forget her last words to me which were my baby i love you.. just knowing that i was her baby broke my heart into.. well she was really close to my 3 year old as i was when i was born.. and the night before she died she wanted him to sleep over her last words where my sons name my sons was all i can think how will i tell him gramma is gone.. well i came home and it was late at night by than and i just didn't have the heart to wake my baby to tell him grandma won't be home so i layed down with thoughts of her i just couldn't cry when my son got up from a dead sleep and said mommy grandma gone.. and i said hunny what do you mean he said grandma said goodbye. all i can think is she came to him in his sleep to let him know she didn't want to go but to say goodbye.. two days after she died i fell asleep and there she was walking up my stairs i swear it felt so real she said to me mindy i have been trying to get home and all i could think was she made it home.. my son i can't take him to her grave cause he tries to dig her up and he tells me mommy i just got to see grandmas face.. and he still says she is is hospital heaven i tryed so hard to tell him different but he just don't want to here sorry everyone for your loss i just know how hard it is i still feel the pain worse everyday
Dear Mindy, Like the rest of all that are on this site I am so sorry for your loss. I know that everyone says that and that should give some comfort, I hope. I feel from a loss, that gives us time to reflect on our own lives and do what we can to better our selves.There is no doubt that they are waiting for us, our loved ones are making a place for us. Until then when it is time is for us to go, they take care of us and look out for us. You know what I mean? I lost my brother almost eleven months ago, and an uncle on the 13th of this month and then a grandfather just a few days ago both from cancer! It is so hard beyond words!! My family is going through so much right now. All I can do is pray! Pray to keep my sanity and do what I know they would want me to keep doing. Which is living, I know that if I did'nt have my kids I would have probably gone crazy. My kids keep me sane, and keep me going through all of this sadness. Please keep me in your prayers and I will keep you in mine, regardless!
i am so sorry for you losses i will keep you in my prayers and thoughts that is how i feel my son keeps me going on.. thanks
Hello, I have only written on this site once before and I am not coming on to write about my feelings. A twenty year male drowned at salmon falls near stayton on the 16th of this month and they still have not recovered his body. Please pray for his family in hope that they can find his body and start the healing process. Thanks
i will keep him and his family in my prayers

RSS

Latest Conversations

Alberto Harrison-Baxter posted a status
"I happened to see Gilbert Diaz message and it brought back painful memories after I lost my two loved ones, 3 years apart."
Wednesday
Alberto Harrison-Baxter updated their profile
Wednesday
Profile IconPaty Berwick and melony joined LegacyConnect
Wednesday
gilbert a diaz commented on Jeanne Croghan's group Gay and lesbians who have lost partners
Tuesday

Community Guidelines

Please be respectful of others. For more information, read our Community Guidelines.

Follow Legacy

© 2020   Created by Legacy.com.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service