Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Amber Jacobs on July 10, 2012 at 11:42am

I visit the cemetary on a weekly basis, every day if it was closer. You find yourself making it personal because in some way it keeps you contected. This was my brother and my second chance to make things right. He has been in and out of the hospital for various mental illness and I simply couldn't visit him there. I couldn't see him in the state he was in. He was supposed to play at my wedding the day after his birthday but instead we were still morning. I wish I could say it gets better, I wish I could say they will be home when we get there today, to see them smile one more time, to grow old with them. The wishes will always be there. My brother was 4 years younger. He's supposed to out live me. Why did they have to suffer? Why did this have to happen? If it wasn't for my son and fiance I don't no how I would get up everyday. I used to work out and havent since it happened. I have no motivation or energy. My sister and I try to comfort each other but were so different. Continue to love and support your family. Your parents are going through more than they should ever have to in a life time. Losing a child is cruel. Losing a sibling is wrong. Hang in there

Permalink Reply by Amber Jacobs on August 7, 2012 at 8:53pm

We lost my brother Adam May 20, 2012 to suicide due to a mental illness. He was only 21 years and my baby brother. My family and I want to be his voice and bring more awareness regarding despression, bipolar, ptsd, panic disorders, schizophrenia, etc. 1 in 4 people are effected by one or more of these which means most of us know someone. It's time to bring more awareness about the subject. Please looking into a group called NAMI. We are doing a huge walk for NAMI Oct. 13, 2012 in Glen Allen VA and our family is walking for Adam. Please help up by donating our doing a local walk near you. Thank you for your support!! http://namiwalks.nami.org/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=1551840&...

Permalink Reply by Amber Jacobs on September 5, 2012 at 10:28am

I lost my 21 year old brother Adam to suicide May 20, 2012 due to a mental illness. There is not enough information and knowledge out there for people who suffer from a mental illness. My brother was so smart, funny, and good looking, his mind took over and he battled every day since he was 16. I will always remember the day my mom called me after they found him. He will always remain in our hearts forever.

NAMI is a great organization that helps spread awareness. My family is walking in his honor Oct 13, 2012. We miss him everyday and this helps us stay close to him by being his voice. Please help our family reach our goal.

 

http://namiwalks.nami.org/TeamPage.aspx?Referrer=http%3a%2f%2fweb.m...

Permalink Reply by chris mailey on September 7, 2012 at 1:23am

i just want to be dead dead dead

Permalink Reply by Marsha H on September 7, 2012 at 4:58am

Hi Chris ...

 

Believe it or not I know just how you feel.  I find every day so difficult, yet there are a few good times sprinkled in there, but, when we lose someone we love they are in our hearts and memory making us feel so very lonely.  I lost my husband April 27, 2011 to pancreatic/liver cancer and I still have bad times and sometimes I wonder why I get up in the mornings even though I've had a lot of support from family and friends.  I feel like I am watching a movie with no end and someone else is playing the role of me.

However, Chris, it will get easier so just take baby steps like me and eventually it does get a little easier. We're all here for you so please post back and express just what you feel (I know that is particularly difficult for men to do.) 

Big hugs

Marcy
 
chris mailey said:

i just want to be dead dead dead

Permalink Reply by chris mailey on September 7, 2012 at 5:12am

its not hard for me to express myself.i dont have any friends or family.i try and just disconnect,but sometimes,i just feel like not being here.peopel always say it gets easier,and that things will change,nothing ever changes for me.my whole life has been like this.i sorry i sound so bitter.thanks for writing though
 
Marcy Dawn Maday said:

Hi Chris ...

 

Believe it or not I know just how you feel.  I find every day so difficult, yet there are a few good times sprinkled in there, but, when we lose someone we love they are in our hearts and memory making us feel so very lonely.  I lost my husband April 27, 2011 to pancreatic/liver cancer and I still have bad times and sometimes I wonder why I get up in the mornings even though I've had a lot of support from family and friends.  I feel like I am watching a movie with no end and someone else is playing the role of me.

However, Chris, it will get easier so just take baby steps like me and eventually it does get a little easier. We're all here for you so please post back and express just what you feel (I know that is particularly difficult for men to do.) 

Big hugs

Marcy
 
chris mailey said:

i just want to be dead dead dead

Permalink Reply by Amber Jacobs on September 7, 2012 at 6:08am

Chris, I know your angry and hurt. I am in that stage constatly. My 21 year old brother commited suicide May 20, 2012. I have been in every stage possible and recently started going to a suicide group. It's important to stay connected to people even if they arn't family or close friends. Whatever it is that your going through your not alone.

Permalink Reply by chris mailey on September 7, 2012 at 7:19am

my fathers from ireland,and he always told me to just tough out a situation.but i feel alone,i dont have no wife,no family.im alone.i appreciate that u r trying to help me,im in the mental health community,and ive been thru all kind of counselours,etc,i whish i had a real life friend.anyway,i appreciate u writing.
 
Amber Jacobs said:

Chris, I know your angry and hurt. I am in that stage constatly. My 21 year old brother commited suicide May 20, 2012. I have been in every stage possible and recently started going to a suicide group. It's important to stay connected to people even if they arn't family or close friends. Whatever it is that your going through your not alone.

Permalink Reply by Rebecca Costello on September 7, 2012 at 8:24am

Hi Chris

My family are also Irish one one side and Scottish on the other and I understand what you mean about them being tough! Although I live in the uk.

My story is a little further up my 20 year old sister died of a heart attack in April very unexpectedly and sudden. I have struggled with little outside support, at first I was 'fine' as I walked around numb for a long time then it started to sink in and I considered doing the unthinkable but realised it would make life worse for those around me and if I did it who would follow suit and be next? I then started cutting myself not deep but to see if I could feel pain and still bare the scars now even though I stopped as soon as people started to notice the marks and got on my case. My point is you're not alone have you looked for a group meeting where people suffering the same go to? My mum is with the compassionate friends who I believe have a large following in the states and they do meetings and retreats where you can find a buddy. Don't be alone even typing my feelings on here helps sometimes and there's always a member you can private message just to explain your awful day it's a friendly group and has helped me no end even though I'm so far away from most members loss is the same wherever you are. My love and thoughts are with you xx

Permalink Reply by Hallie on October 13, 2012 at 4:07pm

Grieving has to find it's way out or it has the potential to manifest itself into destructive behavior in my opinion.  Crying is good and relieves a lot of the pent up emotion.  I think when people say 'don't cry' it can be at times for lack of not knowing WHAT to say.  So very hard.

Permalink Reply by Lorraine Beasley on November 11, 2012 at 7:29pm

Hi I'm Lorraine, My little sister was murdered by her husband, and he then shot his self. That was July 28,2012 She /they we in a car for over 18 & 1/2 hours before they were found by a young family member. It's been tough on me I have bipolar and depression and the fact that we (my sister and myself) was not close like we should have been. I have so much regret things left unsaid. I cry almost daily because of that. I hurt cause her children (there all young adults)but the two grandchildren won't remember her. Only from family will they now her and pictures.

Permalink Reply by Val Jackson on November 11, 2012 at 8:52pm

Dear Lisa,
I know what you are going through my sister died while visiting me of a siudden cardiac arrest, she was a type 1 diabetic. she also did not have children and had always hoped for them. She has been gone five years and I miss her every day. The hardest part is that we were best friends as well, so I imagine you are feeling the loss of a sister and a friend. My heart aches for you. She was a wonderful aunt to my children and just the light in the room at holidays, a huge void in our family, we try to fill it with memories and fun things she liked and this does get easier to do with time, you never get over the pain of losing them, but you do make peace with it. I am here if you need to talk. Val

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