Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Elaine Banks Phillips on July 12, 2008 at 8:21pm

Devona I agree with Mike,like we do at every family function we serve vodka lemonade and say this is for you brother. fell free to talk with me at ant time.

Permalink Reply by Jo on August 6, 2008 at 10:09pm

Devona, I think when people are leaving the sometimes wait for and event. My grandmother was very sick the day before Thanksgiving, the Doctor said she would not make it another full day. We went and saw her Thanksgiving day, she had a little gravy and pie. I left her at 10pm and she asked the time. She dies at 12:10. She didn't want to die on the Holiday. My friends brother was on his death bed and his sister was about to give birth. The sister was two weeks overdue and didn't want to be induced in case something happened with her brother. Her brother was in a coma and didn't want to go until the baby was born. Both were in the same hospital. The sister had the baby and her husband brought down the tape to show the rest of the family. As soon as they told the brother the baby and his sister were doing well and the baby would have his name he passed quietly.

Permalink Reply by Mike Kile on July 12, 2008 at 7:51am

Devona some people i know will not let me even look under the grill at all .....Let alone give me a slither piece of mean....So From what you told me of your brother...I would luv me...So When you spark up the grill....Just be happy and smile....and when someone comes up to the grill ....(You know they want something)Hey Just Cut the a piece a meat and smile.....And Do that for the rest of your life)....and I will do the same when i grill...(Smile)

Permalink Reply by Kah Massey on July 12, 2008 at 12:51pm

Hello,
I have been struggling with the loss of several siblings:my brother in 7/94, a sister 8/07 and a half brother 9/07. My brother that pasted in 94 was a dedicated firefighter that pasted at 37 of a heart attack. Two days ago was the 14th anniversary of his death and I have been so sad because I miss him so much. I have been very withdrawn at home and my husband and daughter keeps telling me to "snap out" of the sadness. I have tried but spending my time "grieving" I have learn is necessary in order to move forward.
My family has no closure regarding the death of my sister as a matter of fact it is a legal matter. I miss my half brother also because he filled so many voids when our father pasted. I have been journaling and in counseling for about a year and that has been helpful.
I am glad I found this site and it lets me know that I am not alone.

Permalink Reply by Linda Bean on July 14, 2008 at 1:47pm

I lost my brother on March 29,2008. He was killed accidently and tragicly at his job. He was run over by a 10,000 pound Bobcat Backhoe. My life feels so empty without him, even though I have a family of my own. We were real close, and talked every weekend. He lived in South Carolina and I live in Pennsylvania. I am having a hard time dealing with my loss, possibly because of the way he was killed. The machine had no backup beeper at the time of the accident. And my brother would not have walked in front of it like the papers said he did. How do I pick up the pieces and go on with my life? Can someone please help me?

Permalink Reply by Latasha Pegues on July 14, 2008 at 2:05pm

Linda, I am sorry for your loss. It takes time to get over losing someone close to you. A comforting thought is found in the Bible; we see that we have the hope of seeing our loved ones again (Acts 24:15) . I have an article that has helped me and many others to learn how to deal with the pain of losing someone you love. It deals with questions such as how to cope and how to explain death to children.

Permalink Reply by Kah Massey on July 14, 2008 at 5:38pm

Hello Linda,
I am so sorry to hear about your brother. Has OSHA looked into this accident on the job? I am not sure if it is a legal matter or what. This is so awful. I wonder what the safety record is at this company. I say spend as much time as you need grieving. I tried to hide my grieving many years and it bought me to my knees one day. I ended up in the hospital and counseling. I had stopped counseling for awhile but started it back up and it has been very helpful. We will have our good days and our bad days. We must let the world know how special our love ones are. I like the site that Elaine set up for her son and I am going to do one for my siblings. Feel free to email me and I have some books that I have been reading to get me through. Let's continue to pray for each other and encourage one another.... my email is pmassey1998@yahoo.com

Permalink Reply by Devona Rodricq on July 18, 2008 at 6:16pm

It's been fifteen days since my brother's death. I know he's gone but sometimes I still can't believe it. I'm trying my best to be strong for my mom. Yesterday, was really hard for her and my dad, because it's been two weeks since his passing. When I called her, she had been crying, and I tried to comfort her. But it was hard for me, too. Every time I think of him I can't stop the tears, I don't know what to do...I'm tired all of the time and I can't sleep. I pray a lot, when I wake up or before I go to sleep, when I'm feeling at my worst or need comfort. Some days are better than others, I guess I'll take it one day at a time..... He was my only brother and I miss him so much!

Permalink Reply by Elaine Banks Phillips on July 19, 2008 at 1:31am

Devona baby it is still fresh. Like I told you Its been 2 yrs. for me and I still feel the pain and heartache. Some people grieve longer than other. But you are doing the right thing,praying and calling on the Lord. Also read your bible to. It really help, even though it is still hard for me right now. But I still call on the Lord. Even just expressing myself to many of the members and hearing their experience with death, lets me know that I am not alone with pain and heartache. So just keep praying and I will pray with you and your parents to. Tell them to remember all the good times that you all had together. In time you will recieve some comfort. I do get some comfort,but I still have the pain. One day God will wipe all your tears away. Call me anytime,I am here. A mother with pain and heartache also.

Permalink Reply by Devona Rodricq on July 19, 2008 at 2:42pm

Elaine, thank you for your kind words. I was wondering if you've been to any kind of group meetings or anything like that? The reason that I ask is because my mom got some information about a group meeting on grief that takes place once a week or so in the city nearby. I have a feeling it will help out some. I don't know..But as I was saying have you gone to anything like that? Did it help? I just feel like I need to do something, you know? I need to get out more, spend more time with my family by going fishing or camping. We look forward to that every spring and summer.My brother was an outdoorsman. He loved to go up to the mountains and he would spend as much time as he possibly could up there. Surrounding himself with nature, that was him.... I'm just afraid if I sit around I'll do nothing but cry. I'm busy with my kids and husband, but you what I mean, don't you? I need to take my mind off of things for just a bit. Please let me know if you have done anything like that, group meetings or anything else, just anything that helped! I'll be thinking of you and praying for you and for every one on this site.

Permalink Reply by Elaine Banks Phillips on July 19, 2008 at 5:04pm

Devona Yes Fema has provided for the Katrina victims to seek help for any problems such as grieving,mental condition, stress anything you think was caused by hurricane Katrina. They offered to pay up to $2,000 for any of these treatments. We had to write why we thought the hurricane had something to do with our condition. Well as you may read I personally stated that hurricane Katine played a role in my son death. If it wouldn't have been a Katrina we would not have been scattered all over from state to state,or city to city we would have been home. I am now having counseling with a certified psychiatric doctor. Also a year after Kris death I was so depressed that I had a brain aneurysym,even though I do suffer with high blood pressure,but by worrying and being depressed my b/p stayed high and uncontrolled. so you and your family be most careful. My family and I we are very close. Everyone miss Kris so much. He was the role model and as they say he was the man. Yes I am receiving treatment. Its taking a little time but I am getting there. Also my husband and I was divorced,my kids dad died 5 months after Kris death. I guess I was kind of going through out of 10 kids that my mom and dad had I was the only one that 2 not 1 but 2 kids to put in the ground. I am glad with the first child I had my mom dad and my husband. This time I felt like I was all alone.Even though my family is very supportive to me. So please keep praying, you and your family and try and get some type of counseling.

Permalink Reply by Kah Massey on July 19, 2008 at 5:51pm

Hello Devona,
I know you posted your question to Elaine and she responded. However, I did seek some counseling after my brother pasted because I had went into a deep depression. Counseling was very helpful. I also losted a sister 8/07 and a half brother 9/07 so I started counseling back. I am scheduled for a session in about a week. It has been very helpful to me. I am also looking for a support group to join locally that deal with the loss of siblings. It is important to seek intervention for grieving in order to keep ourselves together. Some days are better than others. You and your family are in my prayers....

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