Grief support: Share your story and learn from others about coping with the loss of a sibling.

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On December 15,2008, Is a day i will never forget. My sister Terri, 51 years old, loving.caring, helped so many people. Was told she had brain cancer. My sister work for the salvation army thrift store, she was the manager. Anytime someone needed something she was the first one to help them. My sister was full of life, alwayse smiling I cant forget how fast the cancer took over. within days she was unable to walk. I loved her so much, she was my everything. Its been 4 months since she passed. And i cry for her everyday. I have a picture she gave me a long time ago. and it hangs on my wall. IT SAYS A SISTER IS FOREVER A FRIEND!!! My sister passed Feb. 23,2009. She turned 51 on feb 13,2009. She loved bingo so much. as sick as she was that's were she spent her birthday at bingo. If you ever hear a song from Alan jackson sissy song, that is her song, which played at her meorial. thank you i just needed to talk about my sister.

Cindy E
Cindy, sorry for your loss. I lost my brother 2 1/2 months ago. I cried every day for 2 months, now i block it out and can cry every three days or so. I carry a picture of us as kids in my wallet, and i cherish all the good memories every day. I was feeling regret for not spending more time with him, but am realizing that he would hate that i was depressed and would give me a good kick in the rear. So for him, to honor him, i try to stay positive.


Hank
My younger brother (45) committed suicide in November. I found him. He had shot himself in the head. We have found out since then that his life was based on lies. We believed everything he told us. He took care of my parents and now I am left to take care of them. I find it hard to believe that he did this. I am managing to go on with my life. But does it ever make sense? WHY, WHY, WHY?
I want to thank you so much Hank!!! Cindy
I lost my brother 2 1/2 years ago to suicide, he was only 24. We believed everything he told us too, and learned after his death it was all a lie. Not a day goes by I don't think about what happened that day. I miss him very much because we were so close. He was my only sibling. I am now an only child which is very hard for me to deal with. I still have so many questions that will never be answered, yet I cannot accept that. In some ways it still does not seem real. I think I will see him when I go to my parents house, or that when the phone rings it will be him calling me. He was a fireman and a hero to a lot of kids and cannot figure out why he would do this to all of us. If he would have just talked to one of us, we would have helped him get through whatever he was going through. I still get upset sometimes when I talk about him because I just don't understand. I did not cry until the day of the funeral because I had so much to do and to be strong for my parents. The hardest part for me was months after he died, when it started to sink in a little bit. Like I said, sometimes it still just does not seem real though. He adored his nephew, who was only 6 months old at the time, and now I am going to have to try to explain to him who his uncle was. I do not look forward to this, but he needs to know what a good person he was and how much he loved him. I hope this helps some of you, as I related to a lot of your stories as I read them.
Hi Mandy,

I know what it's like to now to be an only child...it's a very hard adjustment. It's been almost three years since my brothers passing and I still feel sad when I think about him.

Mandy Sheppard said:
I lost my brother 2 1/2 years ago to suicide, he was only 24. We believed everything he told us too, and learned after his death it was all a lie. Not a day goes by I don't think about what happened that day. I miss him very much because we were so close. He was my only sibling. I am now an only child which is very hard for me to deal with. I still have so many questions that will never be answered, yet I cannot accept that. In some ways it still does not seem real. I think I will see him when I go to my parents house, or that when the phone rings it will be him calling me. He was a fireman and a hero to a lot of kids and cannot figure out why he would do this to all of us. If he would have just talked to one of us, we would have helped him get through whatever he was going through. I still get upset sometimes when I talk about him because I just don't understand. I did not cry until the day of the funeral because I had so much to do and to be strong for my parents. The hardest part for me was months after he died, when it started to sink in a little bit. Like I said, sometimes it still just does not seem real though. He adored his nephew, who was only 6 months old at the time, and now I am going to have to try to explain to him who his uncle was. I do not look forward to this, but he needs to know what a good person he was and how much he loved him. I hope this helps some of you, as I related to a lot of your stories as I read them.
I am a person who lost my sister several years ago. I am glad to see a forum such as this where those of us can share our stories and heart break. I reside in Orlando, Florida and am originally from Hartford, Connecticut. I lost my sister in 1977 in Hartford. My sister Therea Wilson was such a center piece of our large family. She had a smile and personality that would simply light up any room she would walk into. Therea was stabbed to death the night of her 26th birthday in January of 1977. She was stabbed over 60 times and left. In the years and even to this day her case still remains unsolved. Her death changed my family in ways I never could imagine. I saw my parents go through changes no child should ever see. I remember even at the young age I was at the time making a promise to my sister at her services that I would do all I could to catch her killer. In the past 7 or so years I have dedicated every spare moment working on her case and will never stop until her killer is taken off our streets and put behind bars where he belongs. I am sometimes consumed by this some may say, but I know it is a quest I must complete. I have also started a foundation in her name to assist other families in this same situation. I know first hand how difficult it is to find any help in getting your loved ones voice heard. There are so many families wanting answers and a voice that I just knew this foudation had to be created. I have developed a web site with all the information a family would need in their quest. I am also extending myself to those in need of help all you need to do is log in to the site and complete the form I have available. I am determined that the criminal will not have the last word we the families will have our voices heard and we will work together to put them where they deserve to be and keep them there. The web site is: www.thereahomicide.com
hay valrie i lost my son when he was only 7 weeks old.
Valerie said:
Well, I don't know if anyone will really read this, but I hope someone else can help me because I can't seem to help myself. I am normally such an independent person. I live with my fiance, we have a dog, and I don't have any real responsibilities other than bills. Well, my 16 year old brother helped us move into our new house on May 24th, 2008. He was so helpful and he just met my fiance and he really liked him. On May 27th, we celebrated his 17th birthday. (I am 30 - the oldest of 5). He was the baby of the family. On May 31st - he was hit by a truck and killed instantly after he had been missing for a day (hanging out with people he thought were his friends). Justin was VERY OVERLY trusting and the details of this are ridiculous. What is more ridiculous is that no one is in jail for what happened to him. Anyway, he was in too bad of shape for any of us to see him in the hospital and it was a closed casket for the same reason. I cried at the hospital when his identity was confirmed. I cried for 5 minutes the next day at my mom's house. I cried for 2 minutes at the funeral. ANd now....the next time I cried was tonight....over 6 months later. I can't sleep. I am always cranky. I never ever talk about him except for the occassional fleeting second. I have no one to talk to. I am sort of the family "black sheep" so I'm not comfortable talking with anyone. Somehow, my mom and I no longer speak to each other. My other sister can't sleep. I don't know what to do to make this all better. I don't have "TIME" because my life, emotionally, and family-like, is falling apart. I used to change his diapers and get up with him when he was 3 or 4 months old for middle of the night feedings. I baby-sat him uncountable times when mom was working night-jobs. I am acting so weird. Now I have this insane, unexplanable desire to have a child - only It isn't physically possible without expensive drugs....so its sort of this empty desire. I always had it....but it has multiplied by like 1000 times since my brother passed. Like - I am in some sort of hurry suddenly. I have all this stuff going on. I don't know how to handle it. No one even knows I am thinking all of this stuff. I am driving myself crazy. My poor fiance has to deal with all my crazy mood swings - thank goodness he is above and beyond in the sweet department. Does anyone have any suggestions for me? Because I am out of ideas. I would appreciate any input.
I lost my son when he was 7 week old.
Valerie, you are in so much pain and my heart goes out to you. I lost my sis over 30 years ago and it took years to get to the point that I didn't cry when I thought of her. She was so full of life and joy and she was the best sis. So many memories to cherish.
I don't know what your situation is but I hope you do get to have a baby in some way. I have finished classes for daycare but no babies at this point. I know however that foster care is one way to get a baby because you get first option if the parent gives them up or losses their rights. Just a thought.
Take care of yourself. Suep
Today is a bad day. I find that when I believe in God i am much better and more comforted. But then i think to myself how could God create such an awful place?? The pain and suffering is constant, the unfairness is ever-present. Good people getting wiped out, bad people continuing to live. God if u exist, please tell me what to do? Why are we here? I ask you in complete humility.


Hank
Valerie, I am really sorry to hear about your brother. I lost my brother almost three years ago and it is still really hard. I feel weird talking to my husband about it, but I am sure your fiance would be there to listen if you need to talk. I am in a similar situation you are as far as the family goes. I have not spoke to my grandparents since my brother died. All I really have left are my parents, which is something you don't have unfortunately. A person I really started talking to everyday was my husband's sister. Every morning I talked to her and she got my day off right. I could talk about my brother and cry and for some reason it would make me feel better. I don't know if you have someone like that, but I am sure if there is anyone anywhere you can talk to, I am sure they would listen. It is really hard losing someone so tragically. My brother committed suicide. We have so many questions as I am sure you do. You will get through this. Don't think you have to do it all in one day, take it day by day and take as much time as you need.

I am sorry I have no words for you as far as the baby thing goes. My friend is going through that right now with all of the medications and everything.

I really hope you find the strength to get through this.

Mandy

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