Grief support: Share your story and learn from others about coping with the loss of a sibling.

Related articles:
Are There Actual Stages of Grief?
The Grief of Sibling Survivors
Running Through the Pain
Family Reorganization After a Loss
After a Tragedy: What Kids Can Do
The Value of Reminiscing
What to Say: Rocky Relationships

Views: 9675

Replies to This Discussion

Thanks so much for the support and kind words, that really helps

Dear Amber,  When my brother Alex died over 5 years ago on April 28th 2007 in a car crash at the age of 31,  this site helped me keep it together.  Also on Facebook there are two sibling grief groups I belong to that really help.  Being able to talk to people who know exactly how you feel is a life saver.  I mean that literally because I know how much pain you feel.  Every day that you wake up and get out of bed,  is a day you are dealing with things.  You are.  You are SO strong.  Getting out of bed can be a HUGE challenge,  so be good to yourself.  Don't try and live a "normal" life because life is not normal right now.  No one can tell you the "right" way to deal with this because it is your journey.  But we are all going through very similar experiences and can help each other.  Best advice I was given when Alex died was "when you are walking through hell just keep walking"  Eventually,  you will be out of hell.  It has been five years since I got that phone call saying "He's gone".  A lot has changed but one thing remains the same.  LIFE has gone ON.  Life continues.  Eventually you will embrace life again.  In your own way and in your own time.  We are here for you.  I am so so sorry for your loss.  I know that loss.  It changes your whole world,  your family,  yourself.  But you will survive it.  You will.  LOVE

Amber Jacobs said:

One month ago today, around this time I was at my parents house watching the police and medical examiner take my brother away. I spent most of today crying. We miss him so much, I just don't understand. My parents are still a wreck. Everyday stresses don't help, like work. I don't know how to deal with my life and the loss of my brother at the same time. His birthday is next Friday and it makes me shake and almost throw up thinking about it. In so much pain

I just found this site after googling the loss of a sibling. I hope to find some comfort and maybe a little support here. February 28 2012 we lost my 33yr old sister. She had a chest cold that turned into pneumonia, and went into septic shock in the ER and died. She left behind a 5yr old son who adored her. I was living in Germany at the time, 2 weeks later we were scheduled to fly back home, moving back here for good. I hate to fly and so for 3 years I never made the trip back home. I missed her by 2 weeks!!!! Over a stupid irrational fear of flying. I have a 3 yr old and we had talked about how our sons would grow up together and how we couldn't wait to see them play together..... lately I have been holding my grief in. It is so much easier to just pretend that she just isn't answering the phone, or she is away on vacation. Recently I have been grinding my teeth at night and right now I am on day 10 of a migraine. This is from holding everything in I am sure. It's hard for me to talk about, I realized today that I keep saying to myself things like, " it's such a beautiful day, blue skies, puffy clouds, and Katie is dead" and then I feel that sucking feeling like the hole in my heart is exposed again. I don't know what to do, or how to grieve her. 

Attachments:

Im so sorry for you loss Jacquelyn, I lost my sister a year and a half ago she was only 42. Every picture we have the two of us our always together. We were very close and I still dont know how to go on with out her. I have tried to tell myself that its not real I pretend like you said that she just doesnt answer the phone or shes on vacation or sleeping anything so I dont have to think of he as the D word I dont ever use that its to final for me. Im so sorry to know that so many people feel our pain its so hard to go on with life but we have to there are so many others in our lifes that need us to be ok. I do believe we will be together again someday. Take care please know your in my heart hang in there and keep her memory a live.

Sincerly Susan T

 

Thank you Susan, I have felt so alone these past few months, and hearing others stories is a comfort to me.

susan theriault said:

Im so sorry for you loss Jacquelyn, I lost my sister a year and a half ago she was only 42. Every picture we have the two of us our always together. We were very close and I still dont know how to go on with out her. I have tried to tell myself that its not real I pretend like you said that she just doesnt answer the phone or shes on vacation or sleeping anything so I dont have to think of he as the D word I dont ever use that its to final for me. Im so sorry to know that so many people feel our pain its so hard to go on with life but we have to there are so many others in our lifes that need us to be ok. I do believe we will be together again someday. Take care please know your in my heart hang in there and keep her memory a live.

Sincerly Susan T

 

Dont be alone there are poeple out there that care and have been throuhg similar things it helps to lean on one another. Some times you meet people that just dont want to talk about it so finding people who understand is great comfort. Take care your in my prayers

Happy Birthday Adam I really miss you 

Ah.. My brother that I lost about a year and a half ago was born today too.  He would have been 45.  How old would Adam have been?

Only 22 years old :(

I lost my 20 year old sister to a fatal cardiac arrest 14 weeks ago, she was fine and then we don't know what happened next yet. I don't yet know how to feel I am lost mainly as we did everything together and feeling a little guilty as I was meant to be with her that night but didn't make it out.....Not sure what the next step is yet but I know coping is a must.

Wow I am so sorry for your loss, there is no explanation or easy way of dealing with a loss of a sibling/loved one. We will always wonder what if but don't blame yourself for not being there. It's very hard not to have regrets. I'm sure your parents are a wreck like mine are. Every time I see them they seem ok then start crying. It's been almost 8 weeks for us and it seems to be getting harder. The first month we were all so numb that it wasn't until more recent that it started to set in. We had my brothers 22nd birthday at the cemetary on June 29th and even though it was nice with the balloon release it was so devistating. Don't feel ashamed for seeking help, talking to a stranger sometimes really helps. I am looking into a therapist actually, it's to hard to open up to my family right now. I cry then they cry and it makes for a mess. I need to vent so bad. I am here also if you ever want to talk. No matter the circumstances, car accideny, illness, suicide, ect. They are gone from us forever and nothing will change that. we just have to keep their memory alive and pass it down. God Bless your family

Yes, my parents are really bad at the moment full of what ifs. I have 2 other sisters and if any of us talk to each other the grief is still very raw at the moment knowing she isn't coming back.

I am considering therapy at the advice of my doctor but am yet to make an appointment as I just keep putting it off. We spent most of our days together and its a huge hole in my life I haven't been out with friends for the past 14 weeks as shes the missing equation, I dread to think of her 21st birthday as it is a way off yet (she passed just 5 weeks after turning 20) I struggle to go to the cemetery as seeing it in writing on her headstone is tough. I also am here should you want to talk and wish you and your family the best.

Amber Jacobs said:

Wow I am so sorry for your loss, there is no explanation or easy way of dealing with a loss of a sibling/loved one. We will always wonder what if but don't blame yourself for not being there. It's very hard not to have regrets. I'm sure your parents are a wreck like mine are. Every time I see them they seem ok then start crying. It's been almost 8 weeks for us and it seems to be getting harder. The first month we were all so numb that it wasn't until more recent that it started to set in. We had my brothers 22nd birthday at the cemetary on June 29th and even though it was nice with the balloon release it was so devistating. Don't feel ashamed for seeking help, talking to a stranger sometimes really helps. I am looking into a therapist actually, it's to hard to open up to my family right now. I cry then they cry and it makes for a mess. I need to vent so bad. I am here also if you ever want to talk. No matter the circumstances, car accideny, illness, suicide, ect. They are gone from us forever and nothing will change that. we just have to keep their memory alive and pass it down. God Bless your family

RSS

Latest Conversations

Tracy Lafontaine is now a member of LegacyConnect
yesterday
Profile IconJanet Robinson and bernie kordelski joined LegacyConnect
Wednesday
Mary. Jane commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
Tuesday
Profile IconDeLina Murray-Bridgers and Tupelo joined LegacyConnect
Tuesday

Community Guidelines

Please be respectful of others. For more information, read our Community Guidelines.

Follow Legacy

© 2019   Created by Legacy.com.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service