Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Virginia on September 22, 2010 at 5:44pm

Vicky, oh my i'm so sorry you are having to go thru this, i wish there was something i could say to help but i haven't experenced that kind of dream, but you will live thru the pain and it's not easy because we all feel this way at some point in the grieving process, and some may do better then others and it is so very overwhelming we can't see how we will go on but somehow we do, there will be ok days then meltdown days all we can do is the best we can and take one minute at a time, i'm sorry i'm not much help but just know we are here for you,god bless and hugs

Permalink Reply by Deborah Benoit on September 22, 2010 at 5:53pm

I have had the same thing happen to me and i know that feeling when you finally wake up and have to deal with the truth all over again.It has been 13 months since I lost my husband and I still don't know how to go on with out him.I am so sorry for your lost.

Permalink Reply by Kay Arcuni on September 22, 2010 at 6:53pm

Vicky, I wish I would have a dream. I want to feel him again so much, Joe died so quickly and with out any warning that there was no final hug or goodbye. To once more feel his arms around me is all I wish for. Rejoice in your dream count yourself lucky to be one who has felt that. Remember your dream and let it fill the emptiness. I know that this feeling is so unreal it has no words to explain but don't give up. Your relationship sounds like ours we were each others best friend, so it's not only the love that is gone your friend is gone too and that is the part that is almost unbearable. I am sorry that I can't tell you how to deal with this I don't know I wish I did. If you have not talked with your doctor please do so, it does help. I'll be thinking of you, know that you are not alone.

Permalink Reply by Victoria (Vicky) Owensby on September 22, 2010 at 7:15pm

Thank you for your support. It's nice to know there are good, nice people like you, who care about me and comment. So few people just don't want to deal with anything negative or me. It also helps to know I'm not the only one this has happened too. It is! like going through it all over again. It has been such a hard 4 1/2 months for me and I see no end in sight. I've tried counseling, anti-depressants but nothing seems to help. I feel guilty and hate myself for being so lazy and unproductive.

Deborah Benoit said:

I have had the same thing happen to me and i know that feeling when you finally wake up and have to deal with the truth all over again.It has been 13 months since I lost my husband and I still don't know how to go on with out him.I am so sorry for your lost.

Permalink Reply by bc on September 22, 2010 at 7:26pm

In 13 months I've only seen Brad in my dreams once and it was a quick look at his face, he was smiling and waving. I tried to go back to sleep and hoped for more but it didn't work. I wait every night to see him again,but nothing.

Deborah Benoit said:

I have had the same thing happen to me and i know that feeling when you finally wake up and have to deal with the truth all over again.It has been 13 months since I lost my husband and I still don't know how to go on with out him.I am so sorry for your lost.

Permalink Reply by bc on September 22, 2010 at 7:26pm

In 13 months I've only seen Brad in my dreams once and it was a quick look at his face, he was smiling and waving. I tried to go back to sleep and hoped for more but it didn't work. I wait every night to see him again,but nothing.

Deborah Benoit said:

I have had the same thing happen to me and i know that feeling when you finally wake up and have to deal with the truth all over again.It has been 13 months since I lost my husband and I still don't know how to go on with out him.I am so sorry for your lost.

Permalink Reply by Victoria (Vicky) Owensby on September 22, 2010 at 7:32pm

Thanks Virginia. It always helps to get a kind message that someone cares in this very lonely time. Quite a few people can't or don't want to listen. My best wishes to you as well.

Virginia said:

Vicky, oh my i'm so sorry you are having to go thru this, i wish there was something i could say to help but i haven't experenced that kind of dream, but you will live thru the pain and it's not easy because we all feel this way at some point in the grieving process, and some may do better then others and it is so very overwhelming we can't see how we will go on but somehow we do, there will be ok days then meltdown days all we can do is the best we can and take one minute at a time, i'm sorry i'm not much help but just know we are here for you,god bless and hugs

Permalink Reply by Audrey on September 22, 2010 at 7:42pm

So sorry for your pain. Wish I had the magic wand to erase the bad and leave the good.

Permalink Reply by Victoria (Vicky) Owensby on September 22, 2010 at 8:32pm

Thanks Audry. The same back to you, as "Ellen" says on her show.

Audrey Derr said:

So sorry for your pain. Wish I had the magic wand to erase the bad and leave the good.

Permalink Reply by Nancy Satterthwaite on September 22, 2010 at 9:58pm

Vicky,

I am so sorry for your loss. My husband died 4 1/2 months ago too, so I know exactly how you are hurting right now. I wish I could have a dream of him like you did. I wish I could see his face one more time, or kiss him one more time, or feel his arms around me one more time, but I know that isn't going to happen. And that is very sad for me. If I could dream it, that would be wonderful. You don't mention if you have a good support group of family or friends. I am blessed to have twin daughters 42 who are there for me for every meltdown. We have had long conversations about how I feel, and thank God they are not tired of hearing it yet. If you do have a close friend or family member, ask them to just listen. That is all we need is to let it out and cry and cry until we can't cry anymore. It is part of the grieving process, and we all are going through it.
God bless Vicky, and take are of yourself.

Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on September 22, 2010 at 10:12pm

Hi to all. I handle those dreams as a WOW, thank you. 'Cause I never want to forget LouAnn,even in dreams. I guess some of us have them and some dont. I never see faces in my dreams, I just know who they are. Some dreams are of us doing something from the past. Some dreams I know she is dead and when I realize that I wake up. I do cherish them. Who knows, your spouse doing that, an angel doing that,or are you doing that, or is it a combination of those.I miss my pal and like when I dream of her and us.Hugs to all.Hugs are good.

Permalink Reply by Suzanne on September 23, 2010 at 2:40pm

Hi Vicky,
I had felt disconnected from my husband from the onset of his passing which was January 22. It was like I was connected to the hip with him for 39 years and then one day nothing. I had trouble thinking he could hear me and I tried to talk to him but for some weird reason I felt his emptiness very strongly. I don't know why. I hadn't dreamt of him, it was and still is hard to look at his pictures, but I glance now and then when his pictures pop up on my screensaver. About 4 months after he passed away I had a dream that was totally unexpected, it threw me for a loop. I was crying when I saw him sitting on a sofa and then laughing and kissing him and saying it's true, it's true you really didn't die. I was touching and kissing his face and saying would you like me get you something, anything, something to eat. I was so filled with happiness and joy and said to him, "Don't move, I just want to get my camera and take your picture to prove to everyone that you are still here." But when I turned, I quickly turned back and he wasn't there. I turned to look for him on the other side of the room and then he was there again, but this time he had long gray hair which I immediately knew (dreams are really weird) but I knew the long gray hair meant his time with me was being shortened because his time he had to spend with me was done. I didn't want him or me to go so I stayed there, motionless and he was smiling at me and it is as if it were actually happening, I was smiling at him and then I woke up and immediately burst into tears, and I thought just like I heard this line in a movie once, I thought to myself, this was a dream, and right away I thought but what if it wasn't a dream. Ever since then I haven't had any realistic dreams like that one of him but I believe that Danny is with me and watching over me. I still find it hard to talk to him because he is not physically here with me but I do believe he is in a far better place than this. But I still wish he was with me, so I feel a little selfish, but I know he's not in pain even though I never liked these phrases from others but I like saying these things to myself, he's not in the pain he was while he was here, he's with me in spirit, he hears me. This dream gave me comfort but I still have no hope to have joy in this life. I just wanted to share this, I mentioned this dream before in another post months ago. For me I just know my joy will be in the next life, because my world in this life is over, although at times I have temporary light moments. I am so sorry for your loss and the grief we all feel. I will remember you in my prayers.
God bless,
Suzanne

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