It is always there...just under the surface.  It is the ache of loneliness and the hole in my heart that will never heal.  It is the reality I despise and a longing to go back...to before.  By staying busy (numb and purposeful), running my mouth, my mind, and my daily routine, I fool myself into looking and acting like everyone else.  But then I catch myself.  Walking past the rows of cubicles to lunch, standing in line at the grocery store, or sitting in a meeting, it hits me.  I don’t have a mother anymore.

My mother has been gone since February 20, 2010.  As spring begins again (her favorite season) I miss her desperately, and long to hear her voice, touch her hand, and see that look of love in her eyes just one more time.  Grief ambushes me on days I least expect it. 

 

Without my Mom, my victories are tempered with sadness, and my struggles only remind me of how much I depended on her wisdom and basked in her unwavering belief in me. I know that no one will ever feel that way about me again, and my spirit suffers when thinking about the years ahead without her.

 

For all those who come here for comfort and sharing after losing a parent, I just wanted to pay tribute to mothers; the women who gave us life and loved us for all their lives and beyond...I miss you Mom.

Views: 995

Replies to This Discussion

Wow! thank you Angie for sharing! and everyone else that shared! I can't add anything else because, everyone touched on exactly what IM feeling. I sadly lost my best friend, my confidant, my hero, my beautiful Momma on November 3, 2009 to breast cancer. I miss her more, and more every day! One thing I do know for sure.......We were all so blessed to have such wonderful Mothers! when so many people I know have NEVER had the relationship with thier Mothers like we have! and that we should be so thankful for!!
Even if you are not religious, if we all just said a prayer for all of us to find the hope, and the strenegth, to deal with our grief and pain? things might just be a little better for all of us.

Thanks again for everyone sharing!
Henry

Hi Jenny, 

That must have been given to you by one of your "Earth Angels" as I refer to people who have helped me navigate through life, especially when we lose a loved one.  That was meant to be.  Thank you for sharing that beautiful poem/message and paying it forward by giving that to all of us here.  A very special gift indeed......PamB

Jenny said:

I was sent this..Thought it was beautiful and just wanted to share...

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say,
But first of all to let you know that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from Heaven, where I dwell with God above,
Where there are no tears or sadness, there is just eternal Love.

...Please do not be unhappy, just because I'm out of sight,
Remember that I'm with you, every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you, when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me, and said, " I welcome you".

"It's good to have you back again.
You were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here so badly as part of my big plan.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man".

Then God gave me a list of things he wished for me to do.
And foremost on that list of mine, is to watch and care for you.
I will be beside you, every day of the week and year,
And when you're sad I'm standing there, to wipe away the tear.

And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on Earth, and all those loving years,
Because you're only human, there's bound to be some tears.

One thing is for certain, though my life on Earth is over,
I am closer to you now than I ever was before.
And to my many friends, trust God knows what is best.
I am not far away from you, I'm just beyond the crest.

There are rocky roads ahead for you and many hills to climb,
Together we can do it, taking one day at a time.
It was my philosophy and please I'd like for you,
To give unto the world, so the world will give to you.

If you can help someone who's in sorrow or in pain,
Then you can say to God at night, my day was not in vain.
And now I am contented that my life it was worthwhile,
Knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

When you're walking down the street and I am on your mind,
I'm walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind.
And when you feel a gentle breeze of wind upon your face,
That's me giving you a great big hug, or just a s oft embrace.

When it's time for you to go from that body to be free,
Remember you are not going, you are coming home to me.
I will always love you, from that place way up above,
I will be in touch again soon.
P.S. God sends his love.

Pam,

That was beautiful! thanks for sharing it! It made me think.........from the comments I have read on this site, What do you think our Mom's would tell us right now if they could?......I think my Mom would tell me...move on with your life, don't let this sadness, pain, and grief consume you for the rest of your days. Our Mom's loved us! and always wanted to best for us, even when there gone. The fact of the matter is, we will NEVER stop loving, and missing our Momma's NEVER!! However, does anyone agree with me that our Momma's would want us to be happy?

Henry thanks so much for what you said, it helps me enormously, and yes I totally agree that our mother's would want us to be happy!

Elyse

Henry Sawicki Jr said:

Pam,

That was beautiful! thanks for sharing it! It made me think.........from the comments I have read on this site, What do you think our Mom's would tell us right now if they could?......I think my Mom would tell me...move on with your life, don't let this sadness, pain, and grief consume you for the rest of your days. Our Mom's loved us! and always wanted to best for us, even when there gone. The fact of the matter is, we will NEVER stop loving, and missing our Momma's NEVER!! However, does anyone agree with me that our Momma's would want us to be happy?

Jenny, thank you so much for sharing. My mother just passed away. At 7:15am on Sunday, April 17, 2011. It's only 3:02am Monday, April 18, so this is sooooooooooooooo hard. I can hardly bear the thought of her not being here anymore, even though I know in my heart that she is waiting for me. This is especially difficult right now because my birthday is only 8 days away and I'm expecting my second child. Please, if anyone can give me any word of advice or encouragement or anything, even just a small prayer, I'd really appreciate it. I don't know what to do right now. I know I just have to take it one day at a time but that even sounds like an impossible task. I guess I can only go from one minute to the next. My mother is my best friend and she is so much a part of me that I'm really not sure how to be me without her. The world just looks so bleak to me right now. And I hate knowing that I can never again call her when my babies are teething or running a fever or acting crazy. I can't ask her advice when I need it the most.

Jenny said:
I was sent this..Thought it was beautiful and just wanted to share...

To Elyse:  I am not sure how you would go about communicating with Emmy...she used to post much more often on her blog, but has dwindled a little bit over the past couple of months. 

Some blogs are set up to accept comments, but even leaving a note on her blog looks like it requires you to sign up for something.   Sorry, I know that isn't much help...

For you Mom.....I miss you!

Wish Heaven had a phone so I could hear your voice again.. I thought of you today, but that is nothing new.. I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too..I think of you in silence, and often speak your name.. All I have is memories, and a picture in a frame.. Your memory is a keepsake, from which I'll never part.. God has you in his arms, I have you in my heart
To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say,
But first of all to let you know that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from Heaven, where I dwell with God above,
Where there are no tears or sadness, there is just eternal Love.

...Please do not be unhappy, just because I'm out of sight,
Remember that I'm with you, every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you, when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me, and said, " I welcome you".

"It's good to have you back again.
You were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here so badly as part of my big plan.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man".

Then God gave me a list of things he wished for me to do.
And foremost on that list of mine, is to watch and care for you.
I will be beside you, every day of the week and year,
And when you're sad I'm standing there, to wipe away the tear.

And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on Earth, and all those loving years,
Because you're only human, there's bound to be some tears.

One thing is for certain, though my life on Earth is over,
I am closer to you now than I ever was before.
And to my many friends, trust God knows what is best.
I am not far away from you, I'm just beyond the crest.

There are rocky roads ahead for you and many hills to climb,
Together we can do it, taking one day at a time.
It was my philosophy and please I'd like for you,
To give unto the world, so the world will give to you.

If you can help someone who's in sorrow or in pain,
Then you can say to God at night, my day was not in vain.
And now I am contented that my life it was worthwhile,
Knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

When you're walking down the street and I am on your mind,
I'm walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind.
And when you feel a gentle breeze of wind upon your face,
That's me giving you a great big hug, or just a s oft embrace.

When it's time for you to go from that body to be free,
Remember you are not going, you are coming home to me.
I will always love you, from that place way up above,
I will be in touch again soon.
P.S. God sends his love.
Angie u hit the nail on the head. I lost my mom 2 weeks ago and it isn't getting any easier and reading this about moms just hit it for me thank u for putting this on here for all that have to go through losing a parent
beautiful



Julie said:
Thank you Jenny for this beautiful poem. In my heart, this is exactly what I believe when we lose a loved one...but I could never put it in beautiful words such as this. I lost my mother a few years ago and recently lost my father. Thank you for adding this to the discussion post.

Jenny said:
I was sent this..Thought it was beautiful and just wanted to share...

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say,
But first of all to let you know that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from Heaven, where I dwell with God above,
Where there are no tears or sadness, there is just eternal Love.

...Please do not be unhappy, just because I'm out of sight,
Remember that I'm with you, every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you, when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me, and said, " I welcome you".

"It's good to have you back again.
You were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here so badly as part of my big plan.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man".

Then God gave me a list of things he wished for me to do.
And foremost on that list of mine, is to watch and care for you.
I will be beside you, every day of the week and year,
And when you're sad I'm standing there, to wipe away the tear.

And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on Earth, and all those loving years,
Because you're only human, there's bound to be some tears.

One thing is for certain, though my life on Earth is over,
I am closer to you now than I ever was before.
And to my many friends, trust God knows what is best.
I am not far away from you, I'm just beyond the crest.

There are rocky roads ahead for you and many hills to climb,
Together we can do it, taking one day at a time.
It was my philosophy and please I'd like for you,
To give unto the world, so the world will give to you.

If you can help someone who's in sorrow or in pain,
Then you can say to God at night, my day was not in vain.
And now I am contented that my life it was worthwhile,
Knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

When you're walking down the street and I am on your mind,
I'm walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind.
And when you feel a gentle breeze of wind upon your face,
That's me giving you a great big hug, or just a s oft embrace.

When it's time for you to go from that body to be free,
Remember you are not going, you are coming home to me.
I will always love you, from that place way up above,
I will be in touch again soon.
P.S. God sends his love.

beautiful



Jenny said:

I was sent this..Thought it was beautiful and just wanted to share...

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say,
But first of all to let you know that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from Heaven, where I dwell with God above,
Where there are no tears or sadness, there is just eternal Love.

...Please do not be unhappy, just because I'm out of sight,
Remember that I'm with you, every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you, when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me, and said, " I welcome you".

"It's good to have you back again.
You were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here so badly as part of my big plan.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man".

Then God gave me a list of things he wished for me to do.
And foremost on that list of mine, is to watch and care for you.
I will be beside you, every day of the week and year,
And when you're sad I'm standing there, to wipe away the tear.

And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on Earth, and all those loving years,
Because you're only human, there's bound to be some tears.

One thing is for certain, though my life on Earth is over,
I am closer to you now than I ever was before.
And to my many friends, trust God knows what is best.
I am not far away from you, I'm just beyond the crest.

There are rocky roads ahead for you and many hills to climb,
Together we can do it, taking one day at a time.
It was my philosophy and please I'd like for you,
To give unto the world, so the world will give to you.

If you can help someone who's in sorrow or in pain,
Then you can say to God at night, my day was not in vain.
And now I am contented that my life it was worthwhile,
Knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

When you're walking down the street and I am on your mind,
I'm walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind.
And when you feel a gentle breeze of wind upon your face,
That's me giving you a great big hug, or just a s oft embrace.

When it's time for you to go from that body to be free,
Remember you are not going, you are coming home to me.
I will always love you, from that place way up above,
I will be in touch again soon.
P.S. God sends his love.

I lost my mom may.26, 2012- I thought I was going to die myself from the anxiety, fear and confusion- but as months go by healing does begin- have faith, cry it cleanses the soul- peace to you


 
Kayla said:

Angie u hit the nail on the head. I lost my mom 2 weeks ago and it isn't getting any easier and reading this about moms just hit it for me thank u for putting this on here for all that have to go through losing a parent

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