how about some non-negative aspects of our lives? there have to be some!

I have posted this thought before,and today as I get ready for the Memorial Celabration of my husband's life,I am looking at the literally hundreds of people who will be there and who were touched in some way by him and I think."How wonderful and thoughtful of all these people to come and pay tribute to him"if I can't find a possitive in this,then there is a big problem.I have to get out of Myself and DO things,and NOT mope and cry so much.Of course,I cry and feel lonely and depressed,but not ALL the time.We have to try.I picked an"Angel", a 10 year old girl, from JCPenny yesterday,and sent her a new winter jacket that was on her wish list.It cost $18 and I felt so good! I have to do more of this.Voluteering,maybe going back in the class room to help with reading skills.Something.Let's all try to get our lives back,even a little.Hope this inspires someone.

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Permalink Reply by Christy on November 10, 2010 at 2:51pm

Thank you Kim for sharing. God bless & I wish you & your girls a Blessed Christmas.

Kim Hawkins said:

I know it is hard. But I do voluteer in my 6 year olds school. I am a youth leader at church which my 16 year old is part of. While my husband was alive he was my biggest supporter in doing this work. We have tried to teach our children to give back to others who have had it harder than us. Barry and my saying we learned to live by was "no matter how bad you have it there is someone that has it worse than you. " I know when you lose a spouse you think how can it be worse than that. But I have to look at the great love and respect Barry and I had for each other. I know there are people who have never found that great love. If I can help make youth understand what it is like to find someone who will love them and respect them and have a great life together then I have reached out and put a smile on Gods face.

So doing for others will be a great reward. Sometimes I just want to hide and stay home. But when I seee the smiles on peoples face when I do this it brings a warm touch to my heart.

On Christmas morning take a minute and think about that little girl and the big smile she will have on your face when she opens that coat.

Permalink Reply by Jo on November 10, 2010 at 3:25pm

I am not so sure I'm recovering that fast.We had a huge Memorial Celabration on Sunday and I must say,I have backtracked.Seeing so many people made me feel very vulnerable again.I am working on regaining "normal"whatever that may turn out to be.You go forward 2 steps and back 3,sometimes.It's a slow,painful process and there are days when Life really is pretty bad.I still don't believe it after almost 3 months!.Maybe I never will.Just have to hang in there,i guess.

Permalink Reply by Audrey on November 10, 2010 at 8:00pm

Baby steps,,,,some forward,,,,some back. I make lists of things I should do, need to do. Then when I'm feeling up to it I tackle something. Sometimes days go by without even looking at the list. Sometimes it's all I can do to get dressed and go to work and make it back home. But when I can cross something off the list I feel better. Still can't get the safe open, still fighting with life insurance co and credit card companies. Am going to make soup for some friends tomorrow. Baby steps.

Permalink Reply by Christy on November 11, 2010 at 8:10am

You are recovering though. We should stop measuring how much/how fast and just know we are making strides. Larry's employer called me maybe a month ago & sd. they were preparing a Memorial Garden in his memory and wanted me to come to the presentation, but I haven't heard back. I have no idea when this is to occur, but I am NOT looking forward to it. I think it's more a publicity event to make the City of Atlanta (his employer) look better. The city is responsible for "negligence" which caused his death. I wish I could just focus on Larry and his absence & not have to deal with all this other legal mess that has taken over.

Jo said:

I am not so sure I'm recovering that fast.We had a huge Memorial Celabration on Sunday and I must say,I have backtracked.Seeing so many people made me feel very vulnerable again.I am working on regaining "normal"whatever that may turn out to be.You go forward 2 steps and back 3,sometimes.It's a slow,painful process and there are days when Life really is pretty bad.I still don't believe it after almost 3 months!.Maybe I never will.Just have to hang in there,i guess.

Permalink Reply by Christy on November 11, 2010 at 8:32am

Oh my goodness- Audrey, thank you, thank you. This is me. I too force myself out of the bed against every desire to remain there indefinitly, each morning, drive through tear filled eyes to work each day, & somehow making it back home each afternoon is all I can handle. From the very 1st day it has been one complication after another. The t.v. screen went black & I had no idea how to fix it- that was Larry's thing, bills were overdue, and EVERYBODY even the cable t.v. company wants a copy of the death certificate- give me a break! His death certificate says he died as a result of an accident... and yet the life insurance co. is still investigating! Larry was put in foster care when he was 4 yrs. old & later his grandmother was granted guardianship & raised him, but now that he died, his father is seeing $$ & he has been given the title of "administrator over Larry's estate"! Larry & I were not legally married because we worked together in the same dept..we have been living as a maried couple/family for over 5 yrs. (we've been together for almost 8 yrs.) in our home we jointly purchased yet this man who gave up his son 34 yrs. ago has come back to reclaim him now that he is dead & is doing an amazingly well job of taking property that Larry & I together worked to obtain. I want to scream from the highest mtn! I have written letters to the mayor, senators & the governor of GA regarding this flaw in the legal system but to no avail-yet. I apologize for the rant- but please know that I appreciate hearing that others are handling similar hassles and working through it. Goodness, please forgive me- but I feel so helpless: Prayer time!

Audrey said:

Baby steps,,,,some forward,,,,some back. I make lists of things I should do, need to do. Then when I'm feeling up to it I tackle something. Sometimes days go by without even looking at the list. Sometimes it's all I can do to get dressed and go to work and make it back home. But when I can cross something off the list I feel better. Still can't get the safe open, still fighting with life insurance co and credit card companies. Am going to make soup for some friends tomorrow. Baby steps.

Permalink Reply by Audrey on November 11, 2010 at 9:46pm

Oh, do I feel your pain. We were married almost 29 years. But the life insurance went to his parents, my name wasn't on the safety deposit box which was ok as it was full of stupid papers that should have been tossed over 10 years ago. His Rolex and the guns were in his sock drawer so I have no idea what is in the safe in the garage!!!!! Which is good because without the combination it is a giant paperweight!!!
I closed a bunch of credit cards that didn't have my name on them.... again with the certified death certificates only to find that he had the cell phone, car payments, and other bills on auto pay to the cards I had closed! And they won't let me have the points he had been saving. Gotta love it. Trying to keep a sense of humor!!
My son has invited some of his college friends home for T-giving. Kids with no close family to have holiday with. Luckliy they aren't real picky eaters, he says doesn't have to be good just lots of it! I had been thinking frozen pizza but guess I can bake a bird and look at the whole thing as starting a new tradition. Maybe board games and football on tv? Anything to fill the hours!
Thinking of you. Hoping you had a good day today.