I lost my younger brother 4 weeks ago

Hello, I am new to this site. My name is Jamie. My younger brother, Chad, died 4 weeks ago, the day after his 34th birthday, due to a tragic accident. I don't want to go into details, as it is too hard for me, but he took his own life. We are only a 1.5 years apart in age. He lived with me, and leaves behind 6 beautiful children under the ages of 11 years old :( My family and I are just devasted, never would we have thought we would be dealing with losing our Chad. I am so lost and lonely, it has been a nightmare.

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Permalink Reply by Lynne Garcia on October 22, 2016 at 4:26pm

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my younger brother 3 years ago today he was 32. He was my best friend we did everything together. He was always at my house it still hurts or this day. My prayers go out to you and your family.

Permalink Reply by Lynne Garcia on October 22, 2016 at 4:27pm

Permalink Reply by Janelle Bouda on June 17, 2017 at 2:08am

Hello Jamie. My name is Janelle and I lost my oldest brother on March 21, 2017. He was 42 years-old. We were 1 year and 3 days apart in age. He was in a nursing home for about 4 years. He had a stroke on June 29, 2013 and from there, he never recovered. I do not know what it is like to lose a sibling (or any other loved one) in an accident so, I empathize with you. However, I sympathize with you because I know what it is like to lose a sibling. In addition, my brother and I were close as well. At the time when he was on full life support, I was in the emergency room in Astoria, NY and eventually, I was hospitalized for Congestive Heart Failure of which, he died the second week I was there. I could not attend his funeral because it was being held in Cleveland, Ohio where all of my family is located. To make a long story short, think of all the good times that you both had together and know that if he were here, he would be very proud of how you/your family are caring for and loving his children. I am not merely telling you not to cry because the grieving process varies from individual to individual. It is always okay to vent. When my mother died from Scleroderma about 18 years ago, I was in college and I held a roundtable entitled, "Coping With The Loss Of A Loved One." There was a classmate there who lost her mother about 20 years before that date, who stilled cried like it was the day prior that she died. So from that experience, I know that there is nothing wrong with crying. I believe I am doing fine because I believe in JESUS and HE has/is taken/taking me through, giving me peace and understanding. GOD Bless you and I pray that you obtain peace and understanding as well!

Permalink Reply by Diamond on June 26, 2017 at 7:50pm

It is so sad and indescribable as to the pain associated with the loss of one's sibling. You replay the many beautiful times and memories shared between the two of you. The pain seems to be so deep and unending with the intensity of losing your love one. I just lost my brother and when you are given such information it is hard for you to even comprehend what is being told to you at the moment - you ask the person to repeat what they are saying because you want to believe at that moment you heard wrong. I was in disbelief and out of touch with reality for that very brief moment. The images I had of my brother throughout the years flashed before my eyes and I knew I would NEVER get to see or hear from him again. My strong spiritual base is what has enabled me to cope with all of this emotional heartache and the hope given to us in the Bible at Revelation 21:3,4.

Permalink Reply by Karen Liller on June 27, 2017 at 8:01am

Hi there:

Loss is so hard. I lost my sister Lisa in 2013 to a horrible neuroendocrine cancer. She was only 49 and my best friend. Her birthday is July 10th and that is always such a hard time. I miss her so much but like folks who have written on this site, my faith in God keeps me going. I know I will see Lisa, my Dad, and all past loved ones someday and I know that is true for all believers. You will be with your loved ones again!

Take care and God Bless,

Karen

Permalink Reply by Diamond on June 27, 2017 at 6:56pm

Hi, Karen Liller.....

I love the positive faith that comes across in your writing; yes, it is our faith and belief in those things promised to us in the Bible which enables us to cope. I lost my brother 2 weeks ago and it just seems so unreal I look at his pictures and just get lost in my thoughts; I still ask why? Why? Even with my strong belief in our Heavenly Father.....I ache with pain for the loss of my brother --we never have enough time in this life to love; never enough time to say "Good-Bye." Just never enough time.

As we walk through this life we often learn about those things which are more than important to us and one of those things is LOVE. Our Love for one another is what makes life so much more meaningful. We are advised at 1 Peter 4:8 to have an intense love for one another; it will allow you to overlook the flaws of your love one when it is capped with unyielding love for them.

There are certain songs which bring back many memories of my Brother and it enables me to reflect upon that time period and the events that we share in our lives. The memories and the love they brought into this world will never be forgotten. Our Heavenly Father gives us the strength to cope with many of life difficulties and especially death.

Permalink Reply by Karen Liller on June 27, 2017 at 7:32pm

You are so right! I so wish I had one more day with my sister-just one more day. I miss her everyday and the tears flow as easily today as when it happened-except now I have more peace in knowing Lisa and I will be together again.

Thank you for your kind words.

Permalink Reply by Diamond on June 28, 2017 at 6:41pm

You are so welcome! I just wish for those that will listen to love now....for none of us live forever. When that day comes and I am silent - I can't hear or feel the love at that moment anymore. For I would have fallen asleep in death. I want my kisses now, my hugs now, words of praise now - does it sound unrealistic to want to hear and feel the heavy flowing of love now - while I can share them and feel them. (1 John 4:8)

Our loss love one would forever be etched in our heart. So the pain will never disappear. I know you loved your sister - it comes across in your writing. Writing at this site is a form of therapy. I know my sadness and on-going pain isn't always understood by those who you feel should understand - they give you 2-3 days maybe and then expect you to fall back into place and forget the pain. However, You lost a love one.....a person that meant so much to you and it isn't easy to smile when you do not feel it or to joke where the laughter was shaken.

However, You lost a love one.....a person that meant so much to you and it isn't easy to smile when you do not feel it or to joke where the laughter was shaken.

So, this site has given me the opportunity to release the pain I am feeling and more. So, your love and pain are normal and you are normal. We have to embrace each day one at a time and love each day fully.

Remain the way you are in your kind display of love!

Permalink Reply by Lisa W on January 31, 2018 at 9:20pm

Jamie ,
Im so sorry❤️

Permalink Reply by Jennifer on February 3, 2020 at 11:00pm

Im so sorry for you loss. it is unimaginable pain and questions with this. each moment is hard. this space allows to reach out and also track your grief and progress through time. this is at least what ive used it for. its support and understanding for those of us who lost a sibling. it is so hard. Know that it slowly becomes more manageable. get counselling and be kind to yourself. give yourself a lot of time to be a mess. its okay. we understand

Permalink Reply by Ewa Toole on February 5, 2020 at 6:17pm

Time does not heal, you just have a before and after. You do not have a choice to exist you just muddle through it. Not being able to say good bye following an unexpected death leaves no closure. My brother passed away tragically in the summer of 2016 and no it does not get remotely better.