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I Wish....
I wish LouAnn was still here.I wish that my pal and confidant was here. I wish that I could have the meals that only she could make and that I will never eat again.I wish for her way of knowing the mood I was in and the way she could tell if my back was really hurting.I wish for the caring and understanding that always was there and is now gone.I wish for the friends and family who disappeared when she died suddenly.I wish that I could smile and laugh and have some contentment.I wish to have some enjoyment once again. I wish that I could be the man and human being I once was.I wish that all of the deaths that have happened to me in the last 17 months didnt happen.I wish that I could "strut my stuff",be happy, show off and be myself.I wish that I could find a reason,a purpose and a meaning now in life.I wish that peolple would give "two hoots" about me and what its like now to be alone and empty.I wish that there was that touching and holding and talking and that some one who had the same thought that you had at the same time.I miss going anywhere without company riding along with me.I miss these and many more that there are.I wish I could be more positive.I wish my heart,soul and sprit was back and intact. Guess I am feeling down.
I wish I could hold each and everyone of you and tell you "its okay.its ok". I thank so much for this site. I thank you all for being here to share all of our problems. Our ups and downs. Our good and bad things. Just to listen and not judgemental and critisize
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Virginia on
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Randolph, I wish all those things for you also.Wish the wishes, Dream the dreams and may they come true. HUGS
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Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on
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Thank you Virginia, I guess I ran out of space on my posting. I wish that I could have known that the last part of my message would be missing. Bummer. Hugs to you. Hugs are good.
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Permalink Reply by Yaca Attwood on
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Dear Randolph,
I wish your lovely LouAnn could be with you right now, for you to see and hear her, to feel and touch her, to be able to jump in a pile of leaves, and do funny things and go places with you!
I wish Byron were here - I wish I could hear his incredibly soft, comforting voice (my sister would call just to hear him talk - he was so good with his patients (he was a clinical psychologist)), I wish I could put my head on his chest, I wish I could smell his warm, manly aroma, again. It's been 15 months, and I still wish for those things, and probably will for the rest of my life
Comfort and healing be with you - Yaca Attwood Perkins -
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Thank you Yaca, I sincerely wish those things to you that you are longing for too. I guess I am just having a "down" day. Hang in there. Hugs to you.Hugs are good.
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Thank you Virginia. You are so caring.
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Permalink Reply by Connie on
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How I wish that LouAnn was still with you and that Phil was still with me and Virginia still had Mike, and Barb still had her husband and Peggy still had Harry but that just isn't going to happen. We are all in the same situation and it stinks. How I wish that it were not so!!! My heart is breaking. My husband is on my mind day and night. I remember all the fun times we had. I remember when we first started dating and going to dances and drive-in movies together. I remember bringing our first child home from the hospital and putting her in her crib and standing there together and thinking "Now what the heck do we do". Life is much too short. I wish we could relive our lives again starting from the moment we met. I think I am just rambling. I am now reliving October of 2009 when Phil was in the hospital. Today is 1 year since they needed to put him on the ventilator. Over the next few days, they took him off and then had to put him back on and sedated him and we were never able to speak to each other again. October 15th is our 47th wedding anniversary. I spent my anniversary last year sitting by his hospital bed and crying because he could not even know what day it was or even that I was sitting there. I am sorry but this is an exceptionally bad time of the year for me.
And, Yes, this website and all the people on it are the best friends that we could have right now. Even though we have never met and maybe never will, I really believe that we are all close friends. Only we could understand what the other person is feeling now. May God Bless each and every one of you and I thank God and Steve for creating this site. -
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How I wish that LouAnn was still with you and that Phil was still with me and Virginia still had Mike, and Barb still had her husband and Peggy still had Harry but that just isn't going to happen. We are all in the same situation and it stinks. How I wish that it were not so!!! My heart is breaking. My husband is on my mind day and night. I remember all the fun times we had. I remember when we first started dating and going to dances and drive-in movies together. I remember bringing our first child home from the hospital and putting her in her crib and standing there together and thinking "Now what the heck do we do". Life is much too short. I wish we could relive our lives again starting from the moment we met. I think I am just rambling. I am now reliving October of 2009 when Phil was in the hospital. Today is 1 year since they needed to put him on the ventilator. Over the next few days, they took him off and then had to put him back on and sedated him and we were never able to speak to each other again. October 15th is our 47th wedding anniversary. I spent my anniversary last year sitting by his hospital bed and crying because he could not even know what day it was or even that I was sitting there. I am sorry but this is an exceptionally bad time of the year for me.
And, Yes, this website and all the people on it are the best friends that we could have right now. Even though we have never met and maybe never will, I really believe that we are all close friends. Only we could understand what the other person is feeling now. May God Bless each and every one of you and I thank God and Steve for creating this site. -
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Connie,I'm so sorry and will keep you in my prayers. Everyone is always in my thoughts. Remembering the good times along with the rough times are comforting but can also bring you down,and maybe we need those days so we can cry and release the feelings we sit and think about and are just so sad, to know we will never be with them again.We must remember they are with us, guiding us and approve of the progress we are and can make. They will be happy for us. HUGS to all
Connie said:How I wish that LouAnn was still with you and that Phil was still with me and Virginia still had Mike, and Barb still had her husband and Peggy still had Harry but that just isn't going to happen. We are all in the same situation and it stinks. How I wish that it were not so!!! My heart is breaking. My husband is on my mind day and night. I remember all the fun times we had. I remember when we first started dating and going to dances and drive-in movies together. I remember bringing our first child home from the hospital and putting her in her crib and standing there together and thinking "Now what the heck do we do". Life is much too short. I wish we could relive our lives again starting from the moment we met. I think I am just rambling. I am now reliving October of 2009 when Phil was in the hospital. Today is 1 year since they needed to put him on the ventilator. Over the next few days, they took him off and then had to put him back on and sedated him and we were never able to speak to each other again. October 15th is our 47th wedding anniversary. I spent my anniversary last year sitting by his hospital bed and crying because he could not even know what day it was or even that I was sitting there. I am sorry but this is an exceptionally bad time of the year for me.
And, Yes, this website and all the people on it are the best friends that we could have right now. Even though we have never met and maybe never will, I really believe that we are all close friends. Only we could understand what the other person is feeling now. May God Bless each and every one of you and I thank God and Steve for creating this site. -
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Randolph, if the last part didn't get posted just start another post and continue with your thoughts and feelings it good to get them out,we are here for you don't hold things in. HUGS
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Permalink Reply by bc on
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We all have those wishes, I wish I could grant everyone of those for you. You are getting to be more positive, I can tell, but we all have those days, I had mine yesterday. We are all here together, you will never be alone, everyone can share their feelings and no one will judge. Keep that smile that I saw!
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We all have those wishes, I wish I could grant everyone of those for you. You are getting to be more positive, I can tell, but we all have those days, I had mine yesterday. We are all here together, you will never be alone, everyone can share their feelings and no one will judge. Keep that smile that I saw!
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Permalink Reply by Mary on
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Randolph,
I wish all your wishes could come true. I wish that for you and everyone of us here. But because that isn't possible, I wish you peace and comfort. I wish you health and happy memories.
Your a good man, and we all care "two hoots" about you. I know it's not the same, but it is sincere. Be well my friend, and many hugs to yoiu. -
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