IT JUST DOESN'T SEEM TO GET BETTER WITH TIME!!!!

For my Dad,

Dad, you have been gone since 2013, today. Time does not make it seem to get better.

I miss you so much,

I can still hear your laughter, your voice, your snore, and your sense of humor,

I miss your Sunday Sermons of long, long ago.

The wonderful words of wisdom that you delivered on my wedding day, a dream come true for me. Not every daughter gets to have their dad perform their wedding...something I had hoped for as a child and young adult...came true for me just as I had hoped. I was nervous and grouchy that day, did I ever say I was sorry? I meant to.

All the I'm sorrys I owe you that I never delivered to you and you were always so sweet to me. Why do I see this now, so late and far down the road?? I feel terrible at how I now see I treated you. You gave of yourself endlessly to me and I did not give the proper thank you.

Dad, I will always love you so much. When I see the butterflies, I say 'Thank you God' and think of you. When I see pennies in the parking lots, I think of you. I remember in years just before your passing, we were walking across a parking lot and out shot a handful of pennies over the back of your shoulder! I said, Dad! why are you throwing your pennies away?? You replied, oh, children like to find them! Yes they do dad, yes they do. This kid, adult kid, always thinks of you, dad when she finds pennies in a parking lot.

I love you dad,

Robbin

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by dream moon on May 2, 2015 at 3:37pm

i miss my dad 2

its bean sisne 2012 it still me evry day

Permalink Reply by Laura Rozday on December 8, 2015 at 2:18pm

Robbin,

Thank you for sharing your grief. The title of your post is what first grabbed my attention. I agree wholeheartedly that it just doesn't seem to get better with time. I don't want to sound negative, but I honestly could go the rest of my life without ever being told that time will heal this wound. My father died 4 years ago at age 61. I was 25. It hurts as much today as ever. Sometimes more. when I am creating new memories with my small son and wishing his Pap pap could be there to share it. Those moments hurt worse than the day I lost him. I can share in your experience of having good moments though. I loved your penny story. What an awesome thing for your father to do. My dad would always try to make children laugh. He loved kids so much. I can also share if your desire to send the unsaid thank yous and the I'm sorrys.

So many words. If I only had one more chance.

And again, thank you for sharing. I am glad to find this website and this group in particular. I needed a place to find other daughters missing their dads.

Permalink Reply by dream moon on December 8, 2015 at 2:42pm

i feal it wrse in dec i do bean xmas

im so mest up

Permalink Reply by Sandra E. Byrd on December 8, 2015 at 10:15pm

Laura, I lost my dad almost 2 years ago. He died suddenly at age 87. I was extremely close to him, also caring for him at home due to Alzheimer's progression. I miss him so much some days. I have photos of him sound the house and many of his paintings since he was an artist his whole life. Pain and sadness are the price we pay for loving someone but it's worth every tear. I believe I will see him and my mom when my life is over.

Laura Rozday said:

Robbin,

Thank you for sharing your grief. The title of your post is what first grabbed my attention. I agree wholeheartedly that it just doesn't seem to get better with time. I don't want to sound negative, but I honestly could go the rest of my life without ever being told that time will heal this wound. My father died 4 years ago at age 61. I was 25. It hurts as much today as ever. Sometimes more. when I am creating new memories with my small son and wishing his Pap pap could be there to share it. Those moments hurt worse than the day I lost him. I can share in your experience of having good moments though. I loved your penny story. What an awesome thing for your father to do. My dad would always try to make children laugh. He loved kids so much. I can also share if your desire to send the unsaid thank yous and the I'm sorrys.

So many words. If I only had one more chance.

And again, thank you for sharing. I am glad to find this website and this group in particular. I needed a place to find other daughters missing their dads.