The one month anniversary of my husband's passing is coming up this week.    I thought time was suppose to make losing him easier but I swear its getting harder.    This wasn't suppose to happen to us.   We're young or somewhat young (only 44).   We had plans, we were happy, we have a great marriage.   Very seldom did we fight.    We were the happiest when we were together and even when we were at work, we IM'ed each other constantly.   We were never apart.    I wouldn't wish this on anyone but yet the evil in me says, why couldn't this happen to some other couple, a couple who didn't love, respect each other, enjoy each other like we did.   We had plans to grow old together, we had plans for retirement, we had plans just to be with each other.    It's not fair.    It's not fair to our children who became childless a month ago.    Our youngest only has 11 years of memories of his dad.    And I"m sorry, I can't take people telling me God has a plan anymore.   I'm not angry at God or anyone but the whole plan thing is just BS.    How could a loving God take my child's father from him at 11????  That plan just sucks.    I just need to vent to someone and although I have a lot of people around me who are supporting me.    I can tell that when I start vented, I scare them so I figured this would be a safe place.    Ricky,  I hope you're in a better place and that you're happy.    If you get time check on me and the boys every so often.   We miss you!!!   I love you baby.

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Hi Carrie:

I just found this group within the Legacy website.  I see by the date it's been a little while for you since you lost your husband--I hope you are doing okay.  I lost my husband suddenly at work in an industrial accident on January 2, 2014.  He was 51 and in perfect health.  Like you, we were each others soul mates--we talked on the phone several times a day and we were that couple that was going to be together forever and grow old together--having each other to take care of.  My kids are a little older than yours, my son 22 and my daughter 15 and I've had the same thoughts.  Why does our little girl only get 15 years of memories?  Why couldn't some awful or mean person have been taken instead?  None of it makes sense, and I'm just struggling to get through each day and try to cope.  I'm lost, and we were so happy when we were together. It was the little and simple things in life that mattered--we didn't always have to be going somewhere or doing something, know what I mean?  Please know that there are people out there that share your pain and I hope time has helped you in some way.  Everyone says that, but I don't see it happening for me.  My life is forever shattered, and I still walk around and wonder how I got here.  This was never part of our plan.  Take care of yourself, and please write back if you would like.  Terry

HI Carrie,

 I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband and I understand your pain, anger and frustration. I lost my husband just over a month ago, he was just 48 years old. I struggle to try and make sense of it all and like you question my faith at every turn,


Just wanted to let you know that you have people to completely understand how you are feeling.


Hugs to you and your family

Carrie, I know it has been a while since you posted, but when I read this post, my heart goes out to you. Even though time really does not heal the wounds, I hope that you and your children are doing better. Certainly this is not fair... And I can't agree more with you when you talk about how people say that 'God has a plan". It is an absolute untruth! No loving God would cause so much pain to others in this way, and I do believe in a loving God. As a matter of fact the Bible calls death an enemy. Time and time it speaks of it as something he does not approve of.

(1 Corinthians 15:26) . . .And the last enemy, death, is to be brought to nothing.

(Revelation 21:4) And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”

The wonderful thing is that death does not have victory over the power of Christ because He says,

(John 5:28, 29) vs 28: Do not be amazed at this, for the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice   vs 29: and come out, those who did good things to a resurrection of life, and those who practiced vile things to a resurrection of judgment.

This is what gives me comfort that not only is God not the cause of my loved ones death, He promises to bring it to an end and undo the effects of it...

My God comfort you and your family.


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