Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Reese on May 28, 2011 at 10:08am

I can only imagine that with the arrival of June just being around the corner that it has stirred up some emotions for you. Yes, I also lost both of my parents. I was 22 when my mother died suddenly and I was 38 when my father died after a long illness. Losing both parents within months apart of each other has to be extra hard for you.  Certainly, doesn't give you any breathing room in between the loses.  I'm not sure about you but I feel cheated to have lost them both while still being so young. Most of my friends either have both or at least one of their parents living. I have nobody to provide me with guidance in making life changing decisions. It's the kind of support that loving parents gives out to their children. If you would like to chat, I'm here to listen as well as to offer support to you. 

Permalink Reply by Tracey Burgess on May 17, 2012 at 10:42am

I also have lost both my parents. I lost my father when i was 20 and exactly a year later I lost my mum. I am now just turned 22 and not a year has gone yet for my mums anniversary. I just managed to leave with a diploma from college and I quit my university because it was too difficult for me to carry on. I lost my fiance a few months after that. I must say it is terribly hard. I still don't know how to grieve and feeling a lot of emotions. I am afraid to be alone. It is my utmost biggest fear. I find it very difficult to express my feelings so I write them in poetry. I always lived with my family and spent my lifetime looking after my parents. Its all I know. I never went out. Now without them I find it so difficult and making life changing decisions is so frustrating because I wish I knew! I wish I don't feel so lost. I am scared to give my heart yet also I am scared to be alone. If there is anyone who can help I would much be grateful!

Permalink Reply by S.A. Brobin on May 17, 2012 at 1:38pm

My Faith gets me through. I remember Almighty Gods promise to rid the earth of sickness sorrow and death, and to resurrect my mother, that gets me through. I remind myself that God says that my mother is as asleep Resting in Peace not suffering. Not alone and missing the love and hugs and kisses of her family. Not in some shadowy in between world. Asleep. That gets me through. There is so much comfort to be gained from knowing the true condition of the dead and understanding that death is not a part of God plan but a sworn enemy he promises to rid the earth of. The promise of a resurrection for my dead loved ones from The God who cannot lie. These are guaranteed promises. One we can put faith in. So I have that to help me through the grief.

Tracey Burgess said:

I also have lost both my parents. I lost my father when i was 20 and exactly a year later I lost my mum. I am now just turned 22 and not a year has gone yet for my mums anniversary. I just managed to leave with a diploma from college and I quit my university because it was too difficult for me to carry on. I lost my fiance a few months after that. I must say it is terribly hard. I still don't know how to grieve and feeling a lot of emotions. I am afraid to be alone. It is my utmost biggest fear. I find it very difficult to express my feelings so I write them in poetry. I always lived with my family and spent my lifetime looking after my parents. Its all I know. I never went out. Now without them I find it so difficult and making life changing decisions is so frustrating because I wish I knew! I wish I don't feel so lost. I am scared to give my heart yet also I am scared to be alone. If there is anyone who can help I would much be grateful!

Permalink Reply by Debbie Pemberton on July 17, 2012 at 11:18am

 

OMGosh, we are around the same age and almost identical stories.  My father passed away on 12th April this year and my Mum just passed away last week on the 12th July.  My father had a myriad of health problems stemming back some 12 years including cancers and my Mum who was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins Lymphoma last year but was in remission till she was diagnosed as terminal in April.
My parents were divorced and I was way closer with Mum.  We could talk about anything, and I'm already finding out whilst still putting together a photo tribute that she hadn't really shared her photo albums with us, and although I know a lot about her history when there is no name or date its just a lost memor
And we are finding out the hard way that it plans to have a living will and funeral plan.
These are just added pressures and anguish even though Mum didn't have much in the way of a huge estate their are already arguments brewing amongst a couple members of the family who want this or that - I just want my MUM back !!!!!!

Permalink Reply by ASAG on August 1, 2012 at 9:54am

Losing both parents is so difficult and it leaves us with such a big empty feeling inside, I understand completely how you feel. I lost both my parents, with a 5-year interval, and this has changed everything for me. We will never see life the same way as anyone else around us, because we have lost the only people in the world who love us unconditionally... I want to tell you what I have learnt since my father past away:

Find a purpose, find something to hold on to, something that you truly value. It can be a dream job, it can be to finish your studies, maybe even a friend who you can always count on, maybe a relative who never left your side. It can even be learning to drive, to draw, to speak new languages... This will keep you going!! But most importantly, live your life one day at a time.

 

We have lost our parents, and we will never get them back, you know it, I know it. But at the same time, life goes on, time passes and even if we cannot find a purpose meaningful enough for the rest of the world, e.g. cure cancer, go to the moon, etc, we are still pushing forward and holding on to what makes us smile :)

 
Tracey Burgess said:

I also have lost both my parents. I lost my father when i was 20 and exactly a year later I lost my mum. I am now just turned 22 and not a year has gone yet for my mums anniversary. I just managed to leave with a diploma from college and I quit my university because it was too difficult for me to carry on. I lost my fiance a few months after that. I must say it is terribly hard. I still don't know how to grieve and feeling a lot of emotions. I am afraid to be alone. It is my utmost biggest fear. I find it very difficult to express my feelings so I write them in poetry. I always lived with my family and spent my lifetime looking after my parents. Its all I know. I never went out. Now without them I find it so difficult and making life changing decisions is so frustrating because I wish I knew! I wish I don't feel so lost. I am scared to give my heart yet also I am scared to be alone. If there is anyone who can help I would much be grateful!

Permalink Reply by Teri D on October 11, 2013 at 5:05pm

I am so sorry Angela!  I am 48.  My mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer November 2012.  My dad was diagnosed a week later with advanced stage lung cancer.  Dad passed March 17, 2013 and my mom passed June 27, 2013.  In less than 7 months, they went from fairly healthy to... gone.  I have good days and bad days.  My sister (2 years older than me) and I are closer now.  And, my daughter and grand-daughter have been staying with us while her husband is doing a year-long air force tour of S Korea.  My grand-daughter (just turned 1) has been a great distraction for us all.  Learning to live without my parents- wow!  I can empathize with you there.  I lived within blocks of my parents all my life.  Mom quit her job to watch my 2 kids when they were born. It just has to be one day at a time...  If I can get through today- maybe I can get through tomorrow... 

Permalink Reply by Shirley Snider on February 25, 2015 at 1:16am

I just recently lost both of my parents to a tragic car accident. They hydroplaned and died on the scene. I am 17 years old and have been living nearly 3 months without them.. I still feel like it is all just a terrible nightmare.

Permalink Reply by Rick Meza on March 19, 2015 at 7:44pm

I lost my mother Dec 19th, 2014 She was laid to rest Christmas Eve. My dad followed mom to heaven Jan 14, 2015. This experience has been so heavy. I feel lost.

I was able to talk to mom a few day before she died. I asked her is she saw God? Her reply was, "yes". I asked her, what is he saying to you? She replied" I Am The Way, The Truth, and The Life". This profounfly touched my heart and soul. The day before she passed away, my sister and I were singing the Devine Mercy Rosary in dong. After we finished, her eyes were half way open. Her eyes turned sparking blue. It was the most beautiful blue eyes I had ever Seen. Her eyes were originally brown.

My dad was blind, bed riden and hard of hearing. He sang a song to her in Spanish. He
was not able to finish. He had tears in his eyes. After he got done, he told us,"I'm not going to be here too long. it has been very hard.