Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Melinda CANDACE Guinn on February 14, 2013 at 9:58pm

I'm SO sorry. In 2010 I felt like I was hit by a double barrel shotgun because of the double whammy that befell me. My mom passed away2/16/10 of throat Cancer. Less than 2 months later, on April 9th, I lost my only child, just turned 30 yr old Candace Watson. Her and her husband have 3 litle girls, who were 8, 7 and 2 at the time. The girls are currently in CPS. I can't get custody because I don't drive. Candace's in-laws will be getting custody of the girls as soon as they get a bigger apt.  Lord please bring Melissa to peace. Candace as well as your parents are fine. It's us left here, who have a hard time understanding why?

Permalink Reply by Kathy Draper on February 14, 2013 at 10:12pm

Hi Melissa,

I unfortunately completely understand even though I lost my parents 6 months apart.  My Dad had leukemia and passed at 67 (I know, way too young) and my Mom died suddenly this past October after five days.  She was fine when I took her to the ER and four hours before I lost her I was told she had gastric cancer.   I'm only 42 and have deal with finances, accountants, estates, etc., as well.  I have a brother but he's in WI so it's me.   I guess I don't know what to write but your story is similar... it's awful.    When Dad was diagnosed with leukemia he was given a year and lasted 9 months.   My Mom was given 6 months and was gone in less than a day. So I do understand.   This site is wonderful - if you want to talk my e-mail is kathydaffy70@yahoo.com.  Moving so the address on the site will be a no go soon!  Take care - your post hit home for me.

 

Kathy

Permalink Reply by Melissa Soria on February 14, 2013 at 10:50pm

Hi Kathy I am also 42 and yes our stories are very similar, the hardest part is dealing with the estate ,finances lawyers and accountants I thank god I have a sister who does most of the business end but it is taking its toll on her also.

My sister and I were so close with my parents as we're our kids that I just didn't know how I would go on without them. Having our 1st thanksgiving then Christmas without them was tough. Every holiday and birthday will be tough.

I really haven't talked to anyone about my loss or have I grieved I just don't know how and I want to be strong for my kids. My email is prissymis@att.net fill free to email me anytime, finally someone who knows what I'm going through.

Kathy Draper said:

Hi Melissa,

I unfortunately completely understand even though I lost my parents 6 months apart.  My Dad had leukemia and passed at 67 (I know, way too young) and my Mom died suddenly this past October after five days.  She was fine when I took her to the ER and four hours before I lost her I was told she had gastric cancer.   I'm only 42 and have deal with finances, accountants, estates, etc., as well.  I have a brother but he's in WI so it's me.   I guess I don't know what to write but your story is similar... it's awful.    When Dad was diagnosed with leukemia he was given a year and lasted 9 months.   My Mom was given 6 months and was gone in less than a day. So I do understand.   This site is wonderful - if you want to talk my e-mail is kathydaffy70@yahoo.com.  Moving so the address on the site will be a no go soon!  Take care - your post hit home for me.

 

Kathy

Permalink Reply by Cross on March 19, 2013 at 10:22pm

My parents passed away 3 1/2 months from each other, Mom first how was in a nursing home then dad after by-pass surgery.  It was very hard.   Cleaning out the house.  Grief  is really hard, and then have to deal with al lthe other things also, besides myself ongoing things, my finances.   I really only checks on my finances to make sure where right & left it at that. I did not make any decisions.   At first I would leave my phone on, in case Dad would call me, then realized he would not. He was no longer on this earth. Dad was with Mom where he always wanted to be, by mom's side.  My Dad lived for my mom. My dad was a great example.    It has been over 6 years now & it is easier to deal with.  My thoughts were always that mom and dad are together, young again and running hand in hand in a field of grass, happy and pain free.  This thought & my love for my parents and my love for God got me through this.  Friends were also praying for me, keeping me in their thoughts. 

Grief is very stressful.  Have to take a step back, even when there is no time, to just relax.  An hour, a day, a couple hours.  Have to re-focus.   God is a good person to relax with & just sit in a church in HIS presence, can be very fulfilling. 

Permalink Reply by Lori Sherry on March 28, 2013 at 12:44pm

Hi Melissa,

 

I'm terribly sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I also lost my dad on July 3rd to congestive heart failure and it was kind of unexpected and we knew that he was sick. He was also 67-years-old. It's just me, my mom and my brother and we are trying to figure everything out also.

I miss him terribly,

Lori Sherry

 

 

Permalink Reply by Cross on September 9, 2013 at 3:58pm

I was reading some of the post regarding our loved ones appearing in dreams. My mom appeared in a dream after she deceased. It was a little unsettling, then my brother & myself were in the dream also at the end.  I still remember it well & wish not to go into details.  It really made me wonder, since I am Catholic, about Purgatory, where souls go to be pure so can go to Heaven.  It is still a little unsettling.  I also had a dream way back when, when I lost my boyfriend. He appeared to me in a dream also.  I wanted to hug him, he disappeared before I could. I always thought it was after I knew he deceased. However, am now wondering when I actually had the dream; if it could have been the night he deceased or the next, I know it was before his viewing and funeral.  It all at the time seemed so unreal.  How I could say goodnight to him, and hours later find out he deceased. The call came to me about the time of the morning when I was born.   He died 14 days after my birthday.  I still remember we went down to sit by the river and talk; I still remember what we talked about.  He took me home, we made plans for next weekend to go to a nearby small town.  That was the last time I got to kiss and hug him. I couldn't touch him in the casket, since I thought it did not look like him; even though it did. Right down to the scar I saw in the dream when he appeared to me.  When I started taking my religion seriously, which was a different from when we were together; I suddenly relived it all.  It suddenly became very important to me which way he went.  I know he is in Heaven.  For some reason, I did not know.   I have no idea why this occurred.  I am now back in the same Faith that I was in when we went together.  It does not affect me now, I know he went to Heaven. He went too soon. God wanted his child back with HIM. Delbert was special child of God, like we are all special children of God.  Some of us God lets us on this earth longer, for fullfill our mission that God holds for us.   I am still struggling with my mission God has for me; I believe I know what it is.  Reading some of the post of losing our loved ones, makes me "Why am I holding myself back, I should just go for it." I am not getting any younger.  There are a lot of freak accidents that happen everyday. Live life the way you want, go where you want, of course all within morally reason. 

Permalink Reply by Melinda CANDACE Guinn on September 9, 2013 at 8:09pm

Good post, thanks.