Missing Mom

Grief support for all who have lost moms

Losing your mother can be traumatic at any age. Share your grief and talk with others who are coping with the loss of their mothers.

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Permalink Reply by DEBBIE SYMONS-NETZLER on December 26, 2010 at 5:51pm

HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GOOD CHRISTMAS OR SHOULD I SAY A CHRISTMAS THAT WE GOT THROUGH. IT WAS REALLY SAD THIS YEAR. ALL MY SIBLINGS AND NIECES AND NEPHEWS WERE TOGETHER WHICH WAS VERY NICE BUT THERE STILL WAS THAT EMPTY CHAIR MOM ALWAYS SAT IN AT THE END OF THE DINING ROOM.WE HAD THE PHOTO ALBUMS OF PAST YEARS AND ALL THE GOOD MEMORIES OF PAST HOLIDAYS SO THAT IS SOMETHING WE WILL ALWAYS CHERISH. MOM PASSED AWAY IN JUNE . ITS BEEN 6 MONTHS AND IT SEEMS LIKE IT DOESNT GET ANY EASIER. MY DAD PASSED AWAY 14 YEARS AGO SO THIS IS THE FIRST CHRISTMAS THEY ARE BACK TOGETHER AGAIN. HER SPIRIT LIVES ON AND I CAN STILL HEAR HER VOICE TELLING MY LIFE IS A CIRCLE SO ENJOY IT WHILE YOU ARE ON THIS EARTH. GOD BLESS EVERYONE AND I HOPE YOU ALL GOT THROUGH THE HOLIDAY WITHOUT TOO MANY TEARS. I HAVE CRIED SO MUCH I DONT KNOW IF I HAVE ANY TEARS LEFT.

Permalink Reply by s l watson on December 28, 2010 at 9:19pm

Mama's dementia took her away from us long before her death on Dec. 15, 2010. She called me Dorothy. I have no idea who Dorothy is but I always answered to it because she was consistent. She often told me that she didn't know where her daughters were. I tried so hard to tell her "I am your daughter." But it never jogged her memory. She was unable to stand, dress herself, feed herself or even turn over in bed. So even though she was so mentally and physically helpless I at least had to hug. Now she's gone. I had an opportunity to retire early from my job. I pulled her from the nursing home and she lived with me the last five months of her life. That time was precious. She came with a bedsore and during that time, I aggressively treated it and within four months, it healed completely. She ate home cooking and was never allowed to sit for long periods of time wet. So I fully know what kind of care she received in those last months and feel fulfilled that I could be there for her.

Permalink Reply by s l watson on December 28, 2010 at 9:21pm

Life truly is a circle and your Mother has completed hers. But enfolded within are those she loved and who loved her.

DEBBIE SYMONS-NETZLER said:

HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GOOD CHRISTMAS OR SHOULD I SAY A CHRISTMAS THAT WE GOT THROUGH. IT WAS REALLY SAD THIS YEAR. ALL MY SIBLINGS AND NIECES AND NEPHEWS WERE TOGETHER WHICH WAS VERY NICE BUT THERE STILL WAS THAT EMPTY CHAIR MOM ALWAYS SAT IN AT THE END OF THE DINING ROOM.WE HAD THE PHOTO ALBUMS OF PAST YEARS AND ALL THE GOOD MEMORIES OF PAST HOLIDAYS SO THAT IS SOMETHING WE WILL ALWAYS CHERISH. MOM PASSED AWAY IN JUNE . ITS BEEN 6 MONTHS AND IT SEEMS LIKE IT DOESNT GET ANY EASIER. MY DAD PASSED AWAY 14 YEARS AGO SO THIS IS THE FIRST CHRISTMAS THEY ARE BACK TOGETHER AGAIN. HER SPIRIT LIVES ON AND I CAN STILL HEAR HER VOICE TELLING MY LIFE IS A CIRCLE SO ENJOY IT WHILE YOU ARE ON THIS EARTH. GOD BLESS EVERYONE AND I HOPE YOU ALL GOT THROUGH THE HOLIDAY WITHOUT TOO MANY TEARS. I HAVE CRIED SO MUCH I DONT KNOW IF I HAVE ANY TEARS LEFT.

Permalink Reply by DEBBIE SYMONS-NETZLER on December 29, 2010 at 8:26am

s l watson said:

Life truly is a circle and your Mother has completed hers. But enfolded within are those she loved and who loved her.

DEBBIE SYMONS-NETZLER said:
HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GOOD CHRISTMAS OR SHOULD I SAY A CHRISTMAS THAT WE GOT THROUGH. IT WAS REALLY SAD THIS YEAR. ALL MY SIBLINGS AND NIECES AND NEPHEWS WERE TOGETHER WHICH WAS VERY NICE BUT THERE STILL WAS THAT EMPTY CHAIR MOM ALWAYS SAT IN AT THE END OF THE DINING ROOM.WE HAD THE PHOTO ALBUMS OF PAST YEARS AND ALL THE GOOD MEMORIES OF PAST HOLIDAYS SO THAT IS SOMETHING WE WILL ALWAYS CHERISH. MOM PASSED AWAY IN JUNE . ITS BEEN 6 MONTHS AND IT SEEMS LIKE IT DOESNT GET ANY EASIER. MY DAD PASSED AWAY 14 YEARS AGO SO THIS IS THE FIRST CHRISTMAS THEY ARE BACK TOGETHER AGAIN. HER SPIRIT LIVES ON AND I CAN STILL HEAR HER VOICE TELLING MY LIFE IS A CIRCLE SO ENJOY IT WHILE YOU ARE ON THIS EARTH. GOD BLESS EVERYONE AND I HOPE YOU ALL GOT THROUGH THE HOLIDAY WITHOUT TOO MANY TEARS. I HAVE CRIED SO MUCH I DONT KNOW IF I HAVE ANY TEARS LEFT.

Permalink Reply by DEBBIE SYMONS-NETZLER on December 29, 2010 at 8:26am

s l watson said:

Life truly is a circle and your Mother has completed hers. But enfolded within are those she loved and who loved her.

DEBBIE SYMONS-NETZLER said:
HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GOOD CHRISTMAS OR SHOULD I SAY A CHRISTMAS THAT WE GOT THROUGH. IT WAS REALLY SAD THIS YEAR. ALL MY SIBLINGS AND NIECES AND NEPHEWS WERE TOGETHER WHICH WAS VERY NICE BUT THERE STILL WAS THAT EMPTY CHAIR MOM ALWAYS SAT IN AT THE END OF THE DINING ROOM.WE HAD THE PHOTO ALBUMS OF PAST YEARS AND ALL THE GOOD MEMORIES OF PAST HOLIDAYS SO THAT IS SOMETHING WE WILL ALWAYS CHERISH. MOM PASSED AWAY IN JUNE . ITS BEEN 6 MONTHS AND IT SEEMS LIKE IT DOESNT GET ANY EASIER. MY DAD PASSED AWAY 14 YEARS AGO SO THIS IS THE FIRST CHRISTMAS THEY ARE BACK TOGETHER AGAIN. HER SPIRIT LIVES ON AND I CAN STILL HEAR HER VOICE TELLING MY LIFE IS A CIRCLE SO ENJOY IT WHILE YOU ARE ON THIS EARTH. GOD BLESS EVERYONE AND I HOPE YOU ALL GOT THROUGH THE HOLIDAY WITHOUT TOO MANY TEARS. I HAVE CRIED SO MUCH I DONT KNOW IF I HAVE ANY TEARS LEFT.

Permalink Reply by DEBBIE SYMONS-NETZLER on December 29, 2010 at 8:31am

THANK YOU WATSON. LIFE IS A CIRCLE .. I JUST KEEP IT IN MY MIND THAT MY MOTHER LIVED 81 YEARS ON THIS EARTH SURROUNDED BY FAMILY AND FRIENDS. SHE LOVED HER CHILDREN AND HER PRIDE AND JOY WERE HER GRANDCHILDREN . SHE WAS ALIVE WHEN HER GREAT GRANDCHILD WAS BORN AND ENJOYED HIM FOR ALMOST A YEAR. (SHE MISSED IT BY 3 WEEKS OF HIM TURNING A YEAR OLD). SO THIS WAS THE FIRST CHRISTMAS HER AND MY DAD HAVE BEEN TOGETHER SINCE HE PASSED 14 YEARS AGO, SO I KNOW SHES LOVING IT.SHE ALWAYS HATED THE COLD SO NOW SHE IS IN HEAVEN AND IN A NICER WORLD. I LOVE YOU MOM AND MISS YOU AND DAD EVERYDAY BUT SOMEDAY WE WILL ALL BE TOGETHER SOON.

Permalink Reply by susan falanga on December 30, 2010 at 8:57am

dear christina b i am so ,so sorry for your losses,i read your story ,and the tears flowed ,you must be a saint,,to go through what you went through ,, and taking on your sisters kids ,you are an amazing woman ,, and your mom and sister are watching over you .i lost my mom ,, my world on july 6th 2010 i come into this site ,, and read the stories,to help me try to deal with and accept my moms passing , as reading these stories it makes me feel like ,, my problems are not so bad . i hope you can understand that. thank-you for sharing your story ,, and may only good things come your way .

Permalink Reply by susan falanga on December 30, 2010 at 10:00am

hi to all i lost my mom on july 6th 2010 due to heart disease ,, my mom will be gone 6 months on jan 6th i still can not believe she is gone ,, DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN THIS IS GOING TO SEEM REAL .?we were told so many times,, to come into the hospital,, my mom would not make it through the night .i think my mom had 9 lifes,, she loved cats.then she lost the battle on july 6th ,i just cant believe my mom is gone from this life .i miss my mom so much ,,I LOVE AND MISS YOU MA FOREVER.PS LIFE WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER IF WE HAD A DIRECT LINE TO HEAVEN ,,TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH OUR LOVED ONES

Permalink Reply by Diamond on December 31, 2010 at 8:22pm

Tracy,

Tracy, I do hear your pain! I don't know if you lost your husband due to your responsiblity to your parents or what ...however, you are where you are right now - and know - it is truly a New Beginning - - do not keep re-harshing the past - it will just anger you and make you bitter. You did what you were able to and felt you made the right decision in "honoring your parents," (Exodus 20:12) Some people go through various lost one at a time and for some it pours like rain. However, take a positive look at it,,,,,,you are only one person and for those who are determine to make you feel bad - they have a right to feel the way they do but you do not have to agree. God is love (1 John 4:8) Learn to love yourself and look at people for the way they are, Some people respond to pain with outbursts, anger, bitterness, meaness and etc. You can only handle your own emotion.

How are you to deal with all of your lost? By trusting in God (Proverbs 3?5,6) and do not put your trust in man, Man is quick to get angry and to be unforgiving - however, Jehovah God is not merciless and is not quick to anger - (Psalms 103:8) (James 5:11) Jehovah is slow to anger and a merciful God.

I do not know your spiritual belief but the only constant source of comfort we will ever get is from Gpd. God is so loving and caring to each and every one of us - that is why the promise he made to us at Revelation 21:3,4 - will soon take place. God wants the suffering of mankind to end. (Daniel 2:44)

Tracy Shiffer said:

I lost my mom on Christmas Eve 2008. She had gone in for an operation on 12/2 and we were visiting. Everything was fine and we left on the 7th. By the 17th she was back in the hospital and on the 23rd we left to go see her - by the time we got there she was on life support - I had to make the gut wrenching decision to disconnect her. My dad was inconsolable. I stayed for another week, came home for a couple of days and went back for another week. I am an only child so he was relying on me heavily. I found him a place to buy here in Illinois, set up the moving company, got everything arranged and got him moved. When he got to Illinois I was in the middle of moving due to a divorce and wasn't able to help out all the much - there was other family helping though. Within 1 week of moving here I had been disowned and told not to come back. So within 4 months time I had lost my mother, my husband and my dad. Also 4 years ago I lost my best friend to cancer - it was a long 4 year struggle.

Can anyone tell me how I am supposed to cope with all this loss? I have lost all my support and don't know where to turn or who to talk to.

Permalink Reply by Joyce DeCarufel on January 4, 2011 at 5:50am

I just recently lost my mom on December 11, 2010, she was 80 years old and she raised us six kids as a single parent, no child support ever.I am 59 and totally devastated at my loss, i feel like this is a bad nightmare and that it will soon be over and everything will return back to normal eventually.I cant begin to express how i feel, it is a strange feeling to have a loss like this and right now i dont feel like i really am awake, just in a daze and going from one day to the next, thats all i do!

Permalink Reply by white dove on January 4, 2011 at 9:56am

Bless your Mama's soul~ i feel our Mom's have worked so hard and have earned their time and peace in Heaven, but this leaves us here... feeling empty without them. It has been a bit over a year and a half since i lost my mom, and still i want to call her and fill her in on my day~ Our only consolation is: we will be with our moms once again soon. My mom does visit me once in awhile... in my dreams.. last time she said "I love you" i understand this isnt all that i want and need... but she is checking in on us and is waiting. Bless u hun and know that the very beginning is the shock period. Different for all~ there are grievence counselors all over. They do help us get some things into perspective. I am still struggeling, as time goes on, it will change as life does. WE will always miss our mom's that is a constant... take care of yourself now and make sure to take lots of time for you*

Joyce DeCarufel said:

I just recently lost my mom on December 11, 2010, she was 80 years old and she raised us six kids as a single parent, no child support ever.I am 59 and totally devastated at my loss, i feel like this is a bad nightmare and that it will soon be over and everything will return back to normal eventually.I cant begin to express how i feel, it is a strange feeling to have a loss like this and right now i dont feel like i really am awake, just in a daze and going from one day to the next, thats all i do!

Permalink Reply by s l watson on January 4, 2011 at 9:59am

My Mom passed away on Dec. 15 so as your Mom was departing this life, mine was in the final days of her own battle. I still walk past her bedroom door (she lived with me the last 5 months of her life), step in, switch on the light and never fail to be touched by the fact that she really is gone. She was 95 and so many people tell me how lucky I was to have so long. My logical self agrees but my emotional self wants her to be still here. I understand that is a selfish wish because she was old, frail and had dementia. She was mentally gone long before her last breath but I could hold her and care for her. Now there is nothing but memories. I'm told that those memories will become somthing I cherish and something that warms me. Right now, I only feel pain. I look forward to the times when I remember her with happiness and thankfulness for having her in my life for 57 years. And don't feel the loss quite so sharply. This photo was shot one month before her death.....who knew....?

Joyce DeCarufel said:

I just recently lost my mom on December 11, 2010, she was 80 years old and she raised us six kids as a single parent, no child support ever.I am 59 and totally devastated at my loss, i feel like this is a bad nightmare and that it will soon be over and everything will return back to normal eventually.I cant begin to express how i feel, it is a strange feeling to have a loss like this and right now i dont feel like i really am awake, just in a daze and going from one day to the next, thats all i do!