Grief support for all who have lost moms

Losing your mother can be traumatic at any age. Share your grief and talk with others who are coping with the loss of their mothers.

 

 

 

 

 

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Saran,
Beautiful...just beautiful!!I'm balling..You captured all the little things that you do all the time..but,now,it's just different. I notice things and realize I didn't appreciate the little stuff. Like getting the walker out of the car.. What I would'nt do to go to the grocercy store one more time, and fold up that walker Silly..perhaps but there a hundreds of them everyday. I still watch what my mom would watch on tv, and I don't even like the show..Crazy..She was amazing.. "Nettie Rossi Berg", I love you always and forever..
Jennifer

Dear Jenny ,   What you shared touched my heart , had to pause before I sent this on to you . So many emotions first for you in reading what you had to share the  sadness of how you really appreciated your Mother and you love you have for her .   I woke again early laying there, just talking my Mother as though she now can her me telling her many of the same things you mentioned . Wishing I had did more for her , or grateful for the times we had . There was almost not a day that would go by that we would not talk .  When I was able to go to be with her I too use to love to sit with her and watch her shows on TV , now when they come on they are tearful yet touching memories I have .  She used to tell me just having me there is all she wanted .  Isn't that something that just sharing time with another ,is a gift in itself ,for another .  It sounds like ,you gave your Mother one of the greatest gifts of all , which was your love and you .  

   I now find myself watching shows I never thought I would too or because my Mother called to tell me it was on and we would watch it together while we both sat on the phone .  If only to have her to call now to tell her that I love her so .  

 

Please take care , always and forever may comfort come to you .



Jenny said:

Saran,
Beautiful...just beautiful!!I'm balling..You captured all the little things that you do all the time..but,now,it's just different. I notice things and realize I didn't appreciate the little stuff. Like getting the walker out of the car.. What I wouldn't do to go to the grocery store one more time, and fold up that walker Silly..perhaps but there a hundreds of them everyday. I still watch what my mom would watch on TV, and I don't even like the show..Crazy..She was amazing.. "Nettie Rossi Berg", I love you always and forever..
Jennifer

Hello Victoria, I just read your story about your mom....and your dad before , and i want to let you know my heart goes out to you and your family..I know dealing with this situation is not easy..No one is prepared to deal with a death in a family...However Victoria  the Scriptures indicate that it is possible to be reunited with your dead loved one in the near future, not in an unknown heaven but right here on earth under peaceful, righteous conditions. And at that time humans will have the prospect of enjoying perfect health, and they will never have to die again.


Jesus Christ boldly promised: “Just as the Father raises the dead up and makes them alive, so the Son also makes those alive whom he wants to. Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his [Jesus’] voice and come out.” (John 5:21, 28, 29) Yes, Jesus Christ promised that millions now dead will live again on this earth and have the prospect of remaining on it forever under peaceful, paradisaic conditions...

(Psalm 37:29) 29 The righteous themselves will possess the earth, And they will reside forever upon it.

Nevertheless Victoria the Christian apostle Paul stated that God “comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those in any sort of tribulation.” True, divine help does not eliminate the pain, but it can make it easier to bear. That does not mean Victoria that you will no longer cry or will forget your loved one. But you can recover. And as you do, what you have experienced can make you more understanding and sympathetic in helping others to cope with a similar loss.

 

 


Victoria Romero said:

I lost my Mom on New Year's Eve, 12/31/2010.   She went into the hospital on 12/27 because she was pale and had trouble breathing.   She lost 6 grams of blood and was admitted to Intensive care and given 4 pints of blood.  She underwent several tests to determine where she was bleeding.   She was moved out of Intensive care after 2 days because she was doing better.   On Friday, 12/31, she called everyone to let them know she was going home on New Year's Day and that we didn't need to come up to see her because we had all been coming up everyday and she did not want us to worry about her.   Her nurse asked her if she wanted to go for a walk in the hall and she said yes.   My brother was there and said she was walking and then she fell to the floor and collapsed.   My aunt called all of us and by the time we had gotten to the hospital, they were performing CPR.    They tried to save her, but she was already gone.  She would have turned 72 on 1/10/2011.  I believe she wanted to be with my Dad who passed away 5 months before her in July, 2010.  I miss them both very much.

Ok .., River of Tears....Now I'm wiping the tears..It's very comforting to know I'm not loosing  it sometimes..as I walk around talking away to my mom as if, like you said,still was here. I find myself laughing because I know my mom is watching and listening and laughing at me too.!!Crazy.. I agree with you as well..such a gift being able to care for her. An honor really. Although it was the toughest job I've ever love..but wouldn't change it for the world.  When I lost my job...I was devestated ..a whole other situation in itself. In a nutshell,unfair and really ,really "political"..Anyway, God works in funny ways..If I didn't loose my job,I would'nt have had all time to spend and care for my mom. I guess it was a blesing in disguse...Sounds like you are a pretty terrific daughter yourself, with an amazing mom.  I wonder if they they are both together watching us act like Idiots talking and pound away at the keyboard to each other.. LOL. Two grown woman..wanting their Mom's.. I bet they are laughing and smiling at us with pride..saying.."yep, those are our beautiful daughters..we did a good job  after all".. Again, Thank you for the kind words and if you'd like, keep in touch.

Jennifer

iver of Tears said:

Dear Jenny ,   What you shared touched my heart , had to pause before I sent this on to you . So many emotions first for you in reading what you had to share the  sadness of how you really appreciated your Mother and you love you have for her .   I woke again early laying there, just talking my Mother as though she now can her me telling her many of the same things you mentioned . Wishing I had did more for her , or grateful for the times we had . There was almost not a day that would go by that we would not talk .  When I was able to go to be with her I too use to love to sit with her and watch her shows on TV , now when they come on they are tearful yet touching memories I have .  She used to tell me just having me there is all she wanted .  Isn't that something that just sharing time with another ,is a gift in itself ,for another .  It sounds like ,you gave your Mother one of the greatest gifts of all , which was your love and you .  

   I now find myself watching shows I never thought I would too or because my Mother called to tell me it was on and we would watch it together while we both sat on the phone .  If only to have her to call now to tell her that I love her so .  

 

Please take care , always and forever may comfort come to you .



Jenny said:

Saran,
Beautiful...just beautiful!!I'm balling..You captured all the little things that you do all the time..but,now,it's just different. I notice things and realize I didn't appreciate the little stuff. Like getting the walker out of the car.. What I wouldn't do to go to the grocery store one more time, and fold up that walker Silly..perhaps but there a hundreds of them everyday. I still watch what my mom would watch on TV, and I don't even like the show..Crazy..She was amazing.. "Nettie Rossi Berg", I love you always and forever..
Jennifer

Dear Jenny ,  I sit here and think of the gifts you have given me of comfort the last few days even in your pain , I only can imagine this comfort you have is reaching out to many ,those who may just come to read yet which have such agony in their hearts to see that you understand what it means to have been so fortunate in life to have had the Mother you have .  If not here anymore then in your heart . I am finding it difficult not to cry right now as what you have shared and my thought of my Mother are constant of longing for her even at my age . She used to tell me that a Mother never stops loving her children no matter where they go or what they do in life . I hope she knows that of me that my love Will always be there for her now that she is in heaven.  As you mentioned that God may have had things the way they were for the both of us so that we could be there more with them , as we only would have wanted to be . Though still for me it is a struggle and the guilt that lingers that wishing I only could have done more for her .  I just wanted her to know that she was more then just a Mother to me a name which one calls someone .  She was a touch stone in life .   That may not have know all about me , for I never wanted to burden her with all what was going on in my life . But you know, she loved me never the less. My dear Sister who also just passed away only wanted to be there for her in anyway we could . It was the least one could do for one who gave us life , and loved us more then ever and was that person we could return to when ever . Even if it was to tell her that her favorite show was on the TV.   I only can imagine now that you have this guardian angel that is beside you night and day the one that know you and loves you and the one you know her as Mom.    She always would tell me that she loved me and she loved as she hugged me . Though she never really knew that she was a forever blessing in my life .  

 

Thank you for the comfort and take care to you and all  

 

 

Jenny said:

Ok .., River of Tears....Now I'm wiping the tears..It's very comforting to know I'm not loosing  it sometimes..as I walk around talking away to my mom as if, like you said,still was here. I find myself laughing because I know my mom is watching and listening and laughing at me too.!!Crazy.. I agree with you as well..such a gift being able to care for her. An honor really. Although it was the toughest job I've ever love..but wouldn't change it for the world.  When I lost my job...I was devastated ..a whole other situation in itself. In a nutshell,unfair and really ,really "political"..Anyway, God works in funny ways..If I didn't loose my job,I would'nt have had all time to spend and care for my mom. I guess it was a blesing in disguse...Sounds like you are a pretty terrific daughter yourself, with an amazing mom.  I wonder if they they are both together watching us act like Idiots talking and pound away at the keyboard to each other.. LOL. Two grown woman..wanting their Mom's.. I bet they are laughing and smiling at us with pride..saying.."yep, those are our beautiful daughters..we did a good job  after all".. Again, Thank you for the kind words and if you'd like, keep in touch.

Jennifer

iver of Tears said:

Dear Jenny ,   What you shared touched my heart , had to pause before I sent this on to you . So many emotions first for you in reading what you had to share the  sadness of how you really appreciated your Mother and you love you have for her .   I woke again early laying there, just talking my Mother as though she now can her me telling her many of the same things you mentioned . Wishing I had did more for her , or grateful for the times we had . There was almost not a day that would go by that we would not talk .  When I was able to go to be with her I too use to love to sit with her and watch her shows on TV , now when they come on they are tearful yet touching memories I have .  She used to tell me just having me there is all she wanted .  Isn't that something that just sharing time with another ,is a gift in itself ,for another .  It sounds like ,you gave your Mother one of the greatest gifts of all , which was your love and you .  

   I now find myself watching shows I never thought I would too or because my Mother called to tell me it was on and we would watch it together while we both sat on the phone .  If only to have her to call now to tell her that I love her so .  

 

Please take care , always and forever may comfort come to you .



Jenny said:

Saran,
Beautiful...just beautiful!!I'm balling..You captured all the little things that you do all the time..but,now,it's just different. I notice things and realize I didn't appreciate the little stuff. Like getting the walker out of the car.. What I wouldn't do to go to the grocery store one more time, and fold up that walker Silly..perhaps but there a hundreds of them everyday. I still watch what my mom would watch on TV, and I don't even like the show..Crazy..She was amazing.. "Nettie Rossi Berg", I love you always and forever..
Jennifer

My Beautiful Mother before she passed away asked if I would ever want to go on a trip with her some where. As you can imagine there as no pause before I answered just a Yes and then where would you like to go ?   She wanted to travel to somewhere warm , close to the ocean .   So unlike any place she ever grew up in or really had a chance to go .  She wanted to do this with both my Sister and I .  Yet a few months after she passed away.   How could this be that then we were ready to pack our bags .  So much in life seems to happen yet with reason or answers .   Still wishing I could have taken her on a trip and many more so to see her smile and joy even if it was just for her sitting in a plane .  Though she would be surprised that they do not serve peanuts anymore it had been some time since she had been on a trip of any kind.   This never will happen now , though I do often look up to the clouds to see if I can see her and my father and sister sitting up there too for they just passed away.    I am sad that this is the trip she took .   The last day I saw her I asked her if I could have another hug as she always gave them so  generously all of my life . This time though something deep inside of me told me to hang on ,but I let her go  .  I hope she knows that I love her  . Hopefully Heaven has that warm sandy beach by the ocean for her ,  I ask that she save me a place to come one day just to come and say ... I love you .

     

                       On May 9, my lovely mom passed away. I can’t describe my feeling of loss. A few months before she died, I did research for my job on the subject of thanatology, the study of death and how to deal with it psychologically. I thought it would help me too, but it didn’t.”

Then, in one of my moments of sorrow, i prayed to God, saying, “I need a word from you.” “That night,” , “I read the brochure When Someone You Love Dies. I felt it was written for me. It shows that it is all right to cry. In the section ‘How Can I Live With My Grief?’ it states: ‘Do not underestimate the value of prayer. . . . The help that God supplies does make a difference. . . . True, divine help does not eliminate the pain, but it can make it easier to bear. That does not mean that you will no longer cry or will forget your loved one. But you can recover.’ Those words work....

I'm so sorry, River, that you did not have the opportunity to travel with your Mother.  Soon after my Father passed away (1992), my sister and I decided it was time to do things with Mama that we couldn't do during Daddy's life.  We went to the outer banks of NC and had a wonderful time.  The following year, we went to Myrtle Beach and again enjoyed ourselves.  The next trip was a leap of faith when we decided we would go to California to visit a cousin who lives there.  Mama had never flown and she was very apprehensive.  We convinced her to go telling her that if we were in a plane crash the people who would care for her would be gone and if we were destined to die, why not all go together.  This worked!  We had a magnificant trip.  Our last trip was to the mountains of Virginia and it was on that trip Mama's dementia became apparent.  It was the lastl time we travelled together.  After that, we spent time with her in our childhood home.  She didn't care where we went....being home was just fine with her.  She just wanted us to give of our time.  She was so appreciative of any time we spent with her.  I wish I had done more but what child doesn't have those regrets after it is too late to change the realization?  Your mother, I'm sure, was the same.  If you spent time with her, she was as warmed by your smile and attention, as she would have been by the sun and sand. 

River of Tears said:

My Beautiful Mother before she passed away asked if I would ever want to go on a trip with her some where. As you can imagine there as no pause before I answered just a Yes and then where would you like to go ?   She wanted to travel to somewhere warm , close to the ocean .   So unlike any place she ever grew up in or really had a chance to go .  She wanted to do this with both my Sister and I .  Yet a few months after she passed away.   How could this be that then we were ready to pack our bags .  So much in life seems to happen yet with reason or answers .   Still wishing I could have taken her on a trip and many more so to see her smile and joy even if it was just for her sitting in a plane .  Though she would be surprised that they do not serve peanuts anymore it had been some time since she had been on a trip of any kind.   This never will happen now , though I do often look up to the clouds to see if I can see her and my father and sister sitting up there too for they just passed away.    I am sad that this is the trip she took .   The last day I saw her I asked her if I could have another hug as she always gave them so  generously all of my life . This time though something deep inside of me told me to hang on ,but I let her go  .  I hope she knows that I love her  . Hopefully Heaven has that warm sandy beach by the ocean for her ,  I ask that she save me a place to come one day just to come and say ... I love you .

I'm so sorry, River, that you did not have the opportunity to travel with your Mother.  Soon after my Father passed away (1992), my sister and I decided it was time to do things with Mama that we couldn't do during Daddy's life.  We went to the outer banks of NC and had a wonderful time.  The following year, we went to Myrtle Beach and again enjoyed ourselves.  The next trip was a leap of faith when we decided we would go to California to visit a cousin who lives there.  Mama had never flown and she was very apprehensive.  We convinced her to go telling her that if we were in a plane crash the people who would care for her would be gone and if we were destined to die, why not all go together.  This worked!  We had a magnificant trip.  Our last trip was to the mountains of Virginia and it was on that trip Mama's dementia became apparent.  It was the lastl time we travelled together.  After that, we spent time with her in our childhood home.  She didn't care where we went....being home was just fine with her.  She just wanted us to give of our time.  She was so appreciative of any time we spent with her.  I wish I had done more but what child doesn't have those regrets after it is too late to change the realization?  Your mother, I'm sure, was the same.  If you spent time with her, she was as warmed by your smile and attention, as she would have been by the sun and sand. 

River of Tears said:

My Beautiful Mother before she passed away asked if I would ever want to go on a trip with her some where. As you can imagine there as no pause before I answered just a Yes and then where would you like to go ?   She wanted to travel to somewhere warm , close to the ocean .   So unlike any place she ever grew up in or really had a chance to go .  She wanted to do this with both my Sister and I .  Yet a few months after she passed away.   How could this be that then we were ready to pack our bags .  So much in life seems to happen yet with reason or answers .   Still wishing I could have taken her on a trip and many more so to see her smile and joy even if it was just for her sitting in a plane .  Though she would be surprised that they do not serve peanuts anymore it had been some time since she had been on a trip of any kind.   This never will happen now , though I do often look up to the clouds to see if I can see her and my father and sister sitting up there too for they just passed away.    I am sad that this is the trip she took .   The last day I saw her I asked her if I could have another hug as she always gave them so  generously all of my life . This time though something deep inside of me told me to hang on ,but I let her go  .  I hope she knows that I love her  . Hopefully Heaven has that warm sandy beach by the ocean for her ,  I ask that she save me a place to come one day just to come and say ... I love you .

Dear s / watson,

                I just read what you had to share and I thank you for your kindness . Also for sharing such a heart warming and loving thing  that you and your sister   for and with your Mother . Sounded like a wonderful trip .    I only can imagine all of you sharing that time together .  I love how you convinced her to fly on the plane and what a wonderful first time to fly and that it be with her daughters .  I was thinking as I read ,that your father would have been lovingly watching all of this and seeing that his daughters had such love in their hearts for their mother .  She truly had two special daughters .  The forever memories that you gave to each other were truly touching to read . 

Please take care 

 

s l watson said:

I'm so sorry, River, that you did not have the opportunity to travel with your Mother.  Soon after my Father passed away (1992), my sister and I decided it was time to do things with Mama that we couldn't do during Daddy's life.  We went to the outer banks of NC and had a wonderful time.  The following year, we went to Myrtle Beach and again enjoyed ourselves.  The next trip was a leap of faith when we decided we would go to California to visit a cousin who lives there.  Mama had never flown and she was very apprehensive.  We convinced her to go telling her that if we were in a plane crash the people who would care for her would be gone and if we were destined to die, why not all go together.  This worked!  We had a magnificent trip.  Our last trip was to the mountains of Virginia and it was on that trip Mama's dementia became apparent.  It was the lastl time we travelled together.  After that, we spent time with her in our childhood home.  She didn't care where we went....being home was just fine with her.  She just wanted us to give of our time.  She was so appreciative of any time we spent with her.  I wish I had done more but what child doesn't have those regrets after it is too late to change the realization?  Your mother, I'm sure, was the same.  If you spent time with her, she was as warmed by your smile and attention, as she would have been by the sun and sand. 

River of Tears said:

My Beautiful Mother before she passed away asked if I would ever want to go on a trip with her some where. As you can imagine there as no pause before I answered just a Yes and then where would you like to go ?   She wanted to travel to somewhere warm , close to the ocean .   So unlike any place she ever grew up in or really had a chance to go .  She wanted to do this with both my Sister and I .  Yet a few months after she passed away.   How could this be that then we were ready to pack our bags .  So much in life seems to happen yet with reason or answers .   Still wishing I could have taken her on a trip and many more so to see her smile and joy even if it was just for her sitting in a plane .  Though she would be surprised that they do not serve peanuts anymore it had been some time since she had been on a trip of any kind.   This never will happen now , though I do often look up to the clouds to see if I can see her and my father and sister sitting up there too for they just passed away.    I am sad that this is the trip she took .   The last day I saw her I asked her if I could have another hug as she always gave them so  generously all of my life . This time though something deep inside of me told me to hang on ,but I let her go  .  I hope she knows that I love her  . Hopefully Heaven has that warm sandy beach by the ocean for her ,  I ask that she save me a place to come one day just to come and say ... I love you .

River of Tears...You have a beautiful way of expressing yourself and I'm truly blessed that I gave you comfort whenI thought people might think.."this girls not right"..lol..I am sincerely touched and thankyou for your kind,heart-warming words. You made my day. Funny how how we can all post our similiar stories and learn tid bits from each person...and comfort each other without realizing. I miss my mom and think  about her 24/7.. My toughest time STILL, is waking first thing in the morning, and still not fully awake, realizing....oh ya...my mom is gone...How did I ever make it?? It was my worst fear what I would ever do w/o her.  That's the grace of God pushing me, as there is no humanly way, I could live w/o her. Oh..here I go babbling. Thank you for your support as well, and yes, I believe everything happens for a reason. This is no exception. =).Keep in touch and God Bless those River of Tears!

Jennifer

River of Tears...You have a beautiful way of expressing yourself and I'm truly blessed that I gave you comfort whenI thought people might think.."this girls not right"..lol..I am sincerely touched and thankyou for your kind,heart-warming words. You made my day. Funny how how we can all post our similiar stories and learn tid bits from each person...and comfort each other without realizing. I miss my mom and think  about her 24/7.. My toughest time STILL, is waking first thing in the morning, and still not fully awake, realizing....oh ya...my mom is gone...How did I ever make it?? It was my worst fear what I would ever do w/o her.  That's the grace of God pushing me, as there is no humanly way, I could live w/o her. Oh..here I go babbling. Thank you for your support as well, and yes, I believe everything happens for a reason. This is no exception. =).Keep in touch and God Bless those River of Tears!

Jennifer

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