Missing Mom

Grief support for all who have lost moms

Losing your mother can be traumatic at any age. Share your grief and talk with others who are coping with the loss of their mothers.

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Permalink Reply by Crab Apple on March 8, 2011 at 3:38pm

Thank you Yvonne. It is good to hear that I am not alone by the way I feel about my mom's passing. I guess that I have been taking it very hard and will take your suggestion to get some counseling soon. I don't have a big family and my only sibling passed away at 36 years old from Hodgkins Disease in 1999. I'm feeling alone lately and am beginning to question my own immortality. It would be good to talk about it with a professional who can somehow give me insight into my grief.

Permalink Reply by Belinda Rhodes on March 8, 2011 at 7:15pm

Yvonne, May God bless you and protect you during this tragic loss of your Mom. My mom passed 15 months ago, and I feel that I may be moving forward in the grieving process. It is so hard to let go of the ones we love, but I have learned that my protest to face loosing mom, should be always trusting the good Lord. Please take one day at a time. If you find depression becomes a part of your grieving process, please always have a confidant, and a counselor as others have recommended. I feel the stress in your letter, and I hope someway, something I said may help you. Your friend Belinda

Permalink Reply by River of Tears on March 9, 2011 at 2:36am

I often come back to read what others have shared of the sad loss of the Mother . An area which is one that seems to be that I long for yet seem to steer away from since the loss of our Mother . One that many may say " well she was older " yet a woman full of life . What makes it difficult to face is how it seemed to end on that last day . A day that my Sister who also now just has passed with what we though was every effort we could possible do from where we lived ( being out of State ). Yet the guilt haunts me of what I could have ,should have done , so that she could have received the help she needed .

Just in reading the last few entries it struck me of similar feeling both my Sister and I had . Though I wish to say to you that" you" more then you probably know . Though your pain is greater and vast . From what was written there was such love and care even 1000's of miles apart .

Words said that are easy yet for me to believe for myself and not yet. For I doubt myself constantly in almost everything I do now . I fear I will not be good for anyone when if I could not be there for my Mother and month's later my Sister . Who and what am I .

Is this not what I wanted most to do in life but to be there for my Family , yet when it came to them really needing me . guess who failed . ?

The Only blessing in this is that my Mother and Sister and Father are all together once again . Never thought them to leave so early in life , nor did they .

One day I hope to do my Mother proud in doing something good , at least to tell her how much I love her . For I was blessed and fortunate to have a special and wonderful Mother .

So many in life do not or choose not to love or care about the Mother they were blessed to have . All they need to do is come to Legacy and see what others share . How blessed am I to have a Mother who love me and as I to love her too . .

Always and Forever Mom there will be love in my Heart .

May comfort come to everyone Blessings to each memories and each day .

ok Mom I did it ,, not as bad as I thought . just miss you so much ..!!! Wish you were here.

Permalink Reply by Yvonne on March 12, 2011 at 4:42pm

Thank you for sharing your sentiments, River, for you have certainly hit the mark with several of them. I also find it awkward when someone may react to the knowledge of my mother's passing with a statement such as "Well, she had a long life...". As tho' my mother had used more than her share? Or, the reaction of a friend who remarked "Her health had been declining and she wasn't getting any better, what did you expect?" That same friend called me to apologise after she had lost one of her own parents; her comment then was "I understand now how you must have felt; I just didn't know how great a loss that would be."

Egually important is your observation that there are many in this world who have not come to appreciate the woman who carried them for nine months, who gave them birth, that most important human relationship anyone might every have. While I was still deep in my own grief, I learned of a friend who was dealing with her mother's declining health. Her mother was in a senior's residence and my friend would make weekly stops at the small apartment to look in on her mother. My friend would so often tell me things like "I never know when I am going to get out of there; she always finds something else for me to do, its so annoying." It never seemed to occur to her that these "little extra tasks" her mother would find, were all a means to extend those visits. All I could tell her in response was "If I could get just five more minutes with my own mother, those five minutes would mean the world to me!" As her mother's health continued to decline I encouraged my friend to use the opportunities of her visits to open her heart and say everything she could while the woman was alive...and to ask any questions she had about family history etc..."because when they are gone, they are a long time gone". I can only hope my friend took my advice for her mother passed within the year.

Losing a mother may be the most difficult thing we do in life, but certainly while others still have mothers with them, I hope they never miss the opportunity to tell them they love them, to give them a hug etc.

Blessings to everyone here, for we all have a strong sense of what each other is coping with.

Yvonne

River of Tears said:

I often come back to read what others have shared of the sad loss of the Mother . An area which is one that seems to be that I long for yet seem to steer away from since the loss of our Mother . One that many may say " well she was older " yet a woman full of life . What makes it difficult to face is how it seemed to end on that last day . A day that my Sister who also now just has passed with what we though was every effort we could possible do from where we lived ( being out of State ). Yet the guilt haunts me of what I could have ,should have done , so that she could have received the help she needed .

Just in reading the last few entries it struck me of similar feeling both my Sister and I had . Though I wish to say to you that" you" more then you probably know . Though your pain is greater and vast . From what was written there was such love and care even 1000's of miles apart .

  Words said that are easy yet for me to believe for myself and not yet. For I doubt myself constantly in almost everything I do now .   I fear I will not be good for anyone when if I could not be there for my Mother and month's later my Sister .   Who and what am I .

Is this not what I wanted most to do in life but to be there for my Family , yet when it came to them really needing me . guess who failed . ?

   The Only blessing in this is that my Mother and Sister and Father are all together once again . Never thought them to leave so early in life , nor did they .

      One day I hope to do my Mother proud in doing something good , at least to tell her how much I love her .   For I was blessed and fortunate to have a special and wonderful Mother .

      So many in life do not or choose not to love or care about the Mother they were blessed to have . All they need to do is come to Legacy and see what others share . How blessed am I to have a Mother who love me and as I to love her too . .

Always and Forever Mom there will be love in my Heart .

May comfort come to everyone  Blessings to each memories and each day .

ok Mom I did it ,, not as bad as I thought . just miss you so much ..!!! Wish you were here.

Permalink Reply by River of Tears on March 13, 2011 at 4:48am

Dear Yvonne ,

On the day many of us need to change our clocks , I was asking myself why , will this really make a difference . and of course the tears started to roll .

In reading what you shared I was struck on the love and wisdom you hold . That the simple gift in life we all have give to anyone is one that they behold . Presence of just being there .

It makes me wonder when and how did it happen that a Birthday Card , or Holiday gift , or call on only on that day was enough especially for a Loved one . Though the reality is that this is how it is . Sad to me that so many are yearning for more . As you mentioned that your friends Mother may have been asking to do a few more things just so to spend a few more hours if only that . Yet some how in life priorities have changed where our loved ones have become the last on the list rather then at the top .

As today many of us need to change the time on our clocks , the time we have with the ones we were blessed to have in our lives if not to care for now , time will not wait . As I know this to well as I had to stop changing the clocks as the tears kept me thinking of all that I wished I had done while I had with the ones I love . Each moment was precious each day was a joy , for as I was blessed to have them each to share a life with .

Your insights and strength of taking steps of taking to your friends about things they said that were hurtful and then to learn that understanding came maybe on when it sadly happened to them .

It seems to be the feelings as all is a language in its self on of different understanding , insight , capacity , depth and even acknowledgment of another . Some learn this and some may never be able to . Yet you even in your pain you were able to see this all . Not to say that it is not hurtful or painful what others may say or not see , for I know it can be . What I am amazed at is that many do not accept that their words do not have to become yours nor do their beliefs . This is not to say I do not respect them and want to understand all I can . Is this not what this world is all about .

Your Mother was Blessed with a Daughter who was loving and caring ..

As all , your Mothers were blessed also . How could they not be for what you do for all that come here and what you do for others in your life and most of all what you did for them . You Loved them

I was blessed by a Wonderful and very Special Mother that on the Day she passed I remember my Sister saying it was as though life with in her was taken too . This is how I felt .. My dear Sister passed away but a few months after , which is now as there is nothing left of me for our Father died a few months before our Mother ..

May all of our Angels know we love them .

Please take care ..

Blessing to all of you

and thank you for your comfort you bring to me and all .

Yvonne said:

Thank you for sharing your sentiments, River, for you have certainly hit the mark with several of them. I also find it awkward when someone may react to the knowledge of my mother's passing with a statement such as "Well, she had a long life...". As tho' my mother had used more than her share? Or, the reaction of a friend who remarked "Her health had been declining and she wasn't getting any better, what did you expect?" That same friend called me to apologies after she had lost one of her own parents; her comment then was "I understand now how you must have felt; I just didn't know how great a loss that would be."

Equally important is your observation that there are many in this world who have not come to appreciate the woman who carried them for nine months, who gave them birth, that most important human relationship anyone might every have. While I was still deep in my own grief, I learned of a friend who was dealing with her mother's declining health. Her mother was in a senior's residence and my friend would make weekly stops at the small apartment to look in on her mother. My friend would so often tell me things like "I never know when I am going to get out of there; she always finds something else for me to do, its so annoying." It never seemed to occur to her that these "little extra tasks" her mother would find, were all a means to extend those visits. All I could tell her in response was "If I could get just five more minutes with my own mother, those five minutes would mean the world to me!" As her mother's health continued to decline I encouraged my friend to use the opportunities of her visits to open her heart and say everything she could while the woman was alive...and to ask any questions she had about family history etc..."because when they are gone, they are a long time gone". I can only hope my friend took my advice for her mother passed within the year.

Losing a mother may be the most difficult thing we do in life, but certainly while others still have mothers with them, I hope they never miss the opportunity to tell them they love them, to give them a hug etc.

Blessings to everyone here, for we all have a strong sense of what each other is coping with.

Yvonne

River of Tears said:

I often come back to read what others have shared of the sad loss of the Mother . An area which is one that seems to be that I long for yet seem to steer away from since the loss of our Mother . One that many may say " well she was older " yet a woman full of life . What makes it difficult to face is how it seemed to end on that last day . A day that my Sister who also now just has passed with what we though was every effort we could possible do from where we lived ( being out of State ). Yet the guilt haunts me of what I could have ,should have done , so that she could have received the help she needed .

Just in reading the last few entries it struck me of similar feeling both my Sister and I had . Though I wish to say to you that" you" more then you probably know . Though your pain is greater and vast . From what was written there was such love and care even 1000's of miles apart .

  Words said that are easy yet for me to believe for myself and not yet. For I doubt myself constantly in almost everything I do now .   I fear I will not be good for anyone when if I could not be there for my Mother and month's later my Sister .   Who and what am I .

Is this not what I wanted most to do in life but to be there for my Family , yet when it came to them really needing me . guess who failed . ?

   The Only blessing in this is that my Mother and Sister and Father are all together once again . Never thought them to leave so early in life , nor did they .

      One day I hope to do my Mother proud in doing something good , at least to tell her how much I love her .   For I was blessed and fortunate to have a special and wonderful Mother .

      So many in life do not or choose not to love or care about the Mother they were blessed to have . All they need to do is come to Legacy and see what others share . How blessed am I to have a Mother who love me and as I to love her too . .

Always and Forever Mom there will be love in my Heart .

May comfort come to everyone  Blessings to each memories and each day .

ok Mom I did it ,, not as bad as I thought . just miss you so much ..!!! Wish you were here.

Permalink Reply by s l watson on March 13, 2011 at 9:24am

Yvonne and River: You two have expressed all the same emotions I too share. My mother was in assisted living and I went weekly or sometimes twice weekly after work to get things she needed or to take her for lunch or just an ice cream that we would eat in the park. I would look at my watch again and again, so ready to go home. I had been all day at work and still had a 45 minute drive to get home so I could do it all again the next day. I never fully appreciated the opportunity I had to spend time with her. She would also think of many tasks she wanted me to do just to keep me there a little longer. I now tell people the same thing I was told during that time. Savour every moment because there are so few moments left when our parents are nearing the end of their lives. Who fully appreciates anything until they have lost it? Those who can are truly blessed. Don't beat yourselves up for things you could have or should have done. I retired from my job in January of 2010 and brought Mama to live with me in June of the same year. She lived with me until her death in December. People say you went above and beyond and did so much for her. Did I? I don't think so. Where was I years before, when she was able to enjoy my company and grasped at every minute I gave her. At the end, dementia and parkinson's had robbed her of her mind and her physical ability to do anything for herself. I didn't step in until the very end. I could have done so much more. I don't think anyone ever looks back and sees that they were 100% present for their parents care. I have to find it within myself to give myself credit for what I did do and not dwell so much on what I did not do. Just as you must also do. Find forgiveness for yourself for your shortcomings. God bless both of you.
River of Tears said:

Dear Yvonne ,

  On the day many of us need to change our clocks , I was asking myself why , will this really make a difference . and of course the tears started to roll .

   In reading what you shared I was struck on the love and wisdom you hold . That the simple gift in life we all have give to anyone is one that they behold .    Presence of just being there .

It makes me wonder when and how did it happen that a Birthday Card , or Holiday gift , or call on only on that day was enough especially for a Loved one . Though the reality is that this is how it is . Sad to me that so many are yearning for more . As you mentioned that your friends Mother may have been asking to do a few more things just so to spend a few more hours if only that . Yet some how in life priorities have changed where our loved ones have become the last on the list rather then at the top .

As today many of us need to change the time on our clocks , the time we have with the ones we were blessed to have in our lives if not to care for now , time will not wait . As I know this to well as I had to stop changing the clocks as the tears kept me thinking of all that I wished I had done while I had with the ones I love .   Each moment was precious each day was a joy , for as I was blessed to have them each to share a life with .

Your insights and strength of taking steps of taking to your friends about things they said that were hurtful and then to learn that understanding came maybe on when it sadly happened to them .

It seems to be the feelings as all is a language in its self on of different understanding , insight , capacity , depth and even acknowledgment of another . Some learn this and some may never be able to . Yet you even in your pain you were able to see this all .    Not to say that it is not hurtful or painful what others may say or not see , for I know it can be .   What I am amazed at is that many do not accept that their words do not have to become yours nor do their beliefs . This is not to say I do not respect them and want to understand all I can . Is this not what this world is all about .

Your Mother was Blessed with a Daughter who was loving and caring ..

As all , your Mothers were blessed also . How could they not be for what you do for all that come here and what you do for others in your life and most of all what you did for them . You Loved them

I was blessed by a Wonderful and very Special Mother that on the Day she passed I remember my Sister saying it was as though life with in her was taken too . This is how I felt ..    My dear Sister passed away but a few months after , which is now as there is nothing left of me for our Father died a few months before our Mother ..

May all of our Angels know we love them .

Please take care ..

Blessing to all of you

and thank you for your comfort you bring to me and all .

Yvonne said:

Thank you for sharing your sentiments, River, for you have certainly hit the mark with several of them. I also find it awkward when someone may react to the knowledge of my mother's passing with a statement such as "Well, she had a long life...". As tho' my mother had used more than her share? Or, the reaction of a friend who remarked "Her health had been declining and she wasn't getting any better, what did you expect?" That same friend called me to apologies after she had lost one of her own parents; her comment then was "I understand now how you must have felt; I just didn't know how great a loss that would be."

Equally important is your observation that there are many in this world who have not come to appreciate the woman who carried them for nine months, who gave them birth, that most important human relationship anyone might every have. While I was still deep in my own grief, I learned of a friend who was dealing with her mother's declining health. Her mother was in a senior's residence and my friend would make weekly stops at the small apartment to look in on her mother. My friend would so often tell me things like "I never know when I am going to get out of there; she always finds something else for me to do, its so annoying." It never seemed to occur to her that these "little extra tasks" her mother would find, were all a means to extend those visits. All I could tell her in response was "If I could get just five more minutes with my own mother, those five minutes would mean the world to me!" As her mother's health continued to decline I encouraged my friend to use the opportunities of her visits to open her heart and say everything she could while the woman was alive...and to ask any questions she had about family history etc..."because when they are gone, they are a long time gone". I can only hope my friend took my advice for her mother passed within the year.

Losing a mother may be the most difficult thing we do in life, but certainly while others still have mothers with them, I hope they never miss the opportunity to tell them they love them, to give them a hug etc.

Blessings to everyone here, for we all have a strong sense of what each other is coping with.

Yvonne

River of Tears said:

I often come back to read what others have shared of the sad loss of the Mother . An area which is one that seems to be that I long for yet seem to steer away from since the loss of our Mother . One that many may say " well she was older " yet a woman full of life . What makes it difficult to face is how it seemed to end on that last day . A day that my Sister who also now just has passed with what we though was every effort we could possible do from where we lived ( being out of State ). Yet the guilt haunts me of what I could have ,should have done , so that she could have received the help she needed .

Just in reading the last few entries it struck me of similar feeling both my Sister and I had . Though I wish to say to you that" you" more then you probably know . Though your pain is greater and vast . From what was written there was such love and care even 1000's of miles apart .

  Words said that are easy yet for me to believe for myself and not yet. For I doubt myself constantly in almost everything I do now .   I fear I will not be good for anyone when if I could not be there for my Mother and month's later my Sister .   Who and what am I .

Is this not what I wanted most to do in life but to be there for my Family , yet when it came to them really needing me . guess who failed . ?

   The Only blessing in this is that my Mother and Sister and Father are all together once again . Never thought them to leave so early in life , nor did they .

      One day I hope to do my Mother proud in doing something good , at least to tell her how much I love her .   For I was blessed and fortunate to have a special and wonderful Mother .

      So many in life do not or choose not to love or care about the Mother they were blessed to have . All they need to do is come to Legacy and see what others share . How blessed am I to have a Mother who love me and as I to love her too . .

Always and Forever Mom there will be love in my Heart .

May comfort come to everyone  Blessings to each memories and each day .

ok Mom I did it ,, not as bad as I thought . just miss you so much ..!!! Wish you were here.

Permalink Reply by River of Tears on March 15, 2011 at 6:11am

Dear s l watson, I have written this now since yesterday , and so appreciative for the delete button . It seems when ever I read your kind words it seems to touch on such deep and parts of my soul that I have maybe not wanted to look at or fear that the feelings are almost unbearable . The knowlege that my mother died and I was not there for her , as often as I told her" I would be there when ever she would need me . " I seem to talk , or write around it yet when I see what you share it is something that taps further down to what I know , and fear about myself . Maybe it is the reality and fact , of one family member after another passing and yet not truly facing any of the feeling at all . I am not sure .

Yet I see the love in how you lived your life when your Mother was here with you , and you had time to share , as well I believe as many that come that this love did not stop as it is so evident in all you say .

I used to have conversations with my dear sister before she passed , of how we wished we had done more for our Mother . Yet this is when a pause came to the room as I could not imagine my Sister doing any more , for her heart and her actions were of pure love and her presence in my Mothers life was a gift that they shared . Which I see in what you write as well as many others.

It seems that the words come from me so easily that what you do for another is not to be gaged by time or action . It is to be only known as one heart to another as that it was there at all . As in reading what you have shared and so many others it touches my heart beyond what you may know . Something I thought was a fantasy of how we all could choose to live .

For any times it may never be which saddens me to no end .

Yet for me to find forgiveness in myself in all that I so wanted to do for my Mother and Father and my Sister , I do not believe I will find any relief to my guilt , at least not yet so it will end .

But comfort comes to me when I read your words which I so appreciate as I read them more then once , for maybe then they will become what it apart of my thoughts rather then what I do not feel will end .

Thank you so much

And may Blessings come to you and each of you that come to share . Take care

Interesting how all just a question from one, of what do you plan to do know in life , To know that those that gave me reason. Well was not able to answer that question at all . When ones life and heart beat was that of ones Mother and Father and Sister , it is difficult to answer a question that has no direction at all .

Please take care

s l watson said:

Yvonne and River: You two have expressed all the same emotions I too share. My mother was in assisted living and I went weekly or sometimes twice weekly after work to get things she needed or to take her for lunch or just an ice cream that we would eat in the park. I would look at my watch again and again, so ready to go home. I had been all day at work and still had a 45 minute drive to get home so I could do it all again the next day. I never fully appreciated the opportunity I had to spend time with her. She would also think of many tasks she wanted me to do just to keep me there a little longer. I now tell people the same thing I was told during that time. Savour every moment because there are so few moments left when our parents are nearing the end of their lives. Who fully appreciates anything until they have lost it? Those who can are truly blessed. Don't beat yourselves up for things you could have or should have done. I retired from my job in January of 2010 and brought Mama to live with me in June of the same year. She lived with me until her death in December. People say you went above and beyond and did so much for her. Did I? I don't think so. Where was I years before, when she was able to enjoy my company and grasped at every minute I gave her. At the end, dementia and parkinson's had robbed her of her mind and her physical ability to do anything for herself. I didn't step in until the very end. I could have done so much more. I don't think anyone ever looks back and sees that they were 100% present for their parents care. I have to find it within myself to give myself credit for what I did do and not dwell so much on what I did not do. Just as you must also do. Find forgiveness for yourself for your shortcomings.  God bless both of you.
River of Tears said:
Dear Yvonne ,

  On the day many of us need to change our clocks , I was asking myself why , will this really make a difference . and of course the tears started to roll .

   In reading what you shared I was struck on the love and wisdom you hold . That the simple gift in life we all have give to anyone is one that they behold .    Presence of just being there .

It makes me wonder when and how did it happen that a Birthday Card , or Holiday gift , or call on only on that day was enough especially for a Loved one . Though the reality is that this is how it is . Sad to me that so many are yearning for more . As you mentioned that your friends Mother may have been asking to do a few more things just so to spend a few more hours if only that . Yet some how in life priorities have changed where our loved ones have become the last on the list rather then at the top .

As today many of us need to change the time on our clocks , the time we have with the ones we were blessed to have in our lives if not to care for now , time will not wait . As I know this to well as I had to stop changing the clocks as the tears kept me thinking of all that I wished I had done while I had with the ones I love .   Each moment was precious each day was a joy , for as I was blessed to have them each to share a life with .

Your insights and strength of taking steps of taking to your friends about things they said that were hurtful and then to learn that understanding came maybe on when it sadly happened to them .

It seems to be the feelings as all is a language in its self on of different understanding , insight , capacity , depth and even acknowledgment of another . Some learn this and some may never be able to . Yet you even in your pain you were able to see this all .    Not to say that it is not hurtful or painful what others may say or not see , for I know it can be .   What I am amazed at is that many do not accept that their words do not have to become yours nor do their beliefs . This is not to say I do not respect them and want to understand all I can . Is this not what this world is all about .

Your Mother was Blessed with a Daughter who was loving and caring ..

As all , your Mothers were blessed also . How could they not be for what you do for all that come here and what you do for others in your life and most of all what you did for them . You Loved them

I was blessed by a Wonderful and very Special Mother that on the Day she passed I remember my Sister saying it was as though life with in her was taken too . This is how I felt ..    My dear Sister passed away but a few months after , which is now as there is nothing left of me for our Father died a few months before our Mother ..

May all of our Angels know we love them .

Please take care ..

Blessing to all of you

and thank you for your comfort you bring to me and all .

Yvonne said:

Thank you for sharing your sentiments, River, for you have certainly hit the mark with several of them. I also find it awkward when someone may react to the knowledge of my mother's passing with a statement such as "Well, she had a long life...". As tho' my mother had used more than her share? Or, the reaction of a friend who remarked "Her health had been declining and she wasn't getting any better, what did you expect?" That same friend called me to apologies after she had lost one of her own parents; her comment then was "I understand now how you must have felt; I just didn't know how great a loss that would be."

Equally important is your observation that there are many in this world who have not come to appreciate the woman who carried them for nine months, who gave them birth, that most important human relationship anyone might every have. While I was still deep in my own grief, I learned of a friend who was dealing with her mother's declining health. Her mother was in a senior's residence and my friend would make weekly stops at the small apartment to look in on her mother. My friend would so often tell me things like "I never know when I am going to get out of there; she always finds something else for me to do, its so annoying." It never seemed to occur to her that these "little extra tasks" her mother would find, were all a means to extend those visits. All I could tell her in response was "If I could get just five more minutes with my own mother, those five minutes would mean the world to me!" As her mother's health continued to decline I encouraged my friend to use the opportunities of her visits to open her heart and say everything she could while the woman was alive...and to ask any questions she had about family history etc..."because when they are gone, they are a long time gone". I can only hope my friend took my advice for her mother passed within the year.

Losing a mother may be the most difficult thing we do in life, but certainly while others still have mothers with them, I hope they never miss the opportunity to tell them they love them, to give them a hug etc.

Blessings to everyone here, for we all have a strong sense of what each other is coping with.

Yvonne

River of Tears said:

I often come back to read what others have shared of the sad loss of the Mother . An area which is one that seems to be that I long for yet seem to steer away from since the loss of our Mother . One that many may say " well she was older " yet a woman full of life . What makes it difficult to face is how it seemed to end on that last day . A day that my Sister who also now just has passed with what we though was every effort we could possible do from where we lived ( being out of State ). Yet the guilt haunts me of what I could have ,should have done , so that she could have received the help she needed .

Just in reading the last few entries it struck me of similar feeling both my Sister and I had . Though I wish to say to you that" you" more then you probably know . Though your pain is greater and vast . From what was written there was such love and care even 1000's of miles apart .

  Words said that are easy yet for me to believe for myself and not yet. For I doubt myself constantly in almost everything I do now .   I fear I will not be good for anyone when if I could not be there for my Mother and month's later my Sister .   Who and what am I .

Is this not what I wanted most to do in life but to be there for my Family , yet when it came to them really needing me . guess who failed . ?

   The Only blessing in this is that my Mother and Sister and Father are all together once again . Never thought them to leave so early in life , nor did they .

      One day I hope to do my Mother proud in doing something good , at least to tell her how much I love her .   For I was blessed and fortunate to have a special and wonderful Mother .

      So many in life do not or choose not to love or care about the Mother they were blessed to have . All they need to do is come to Legacy and see what others share . How blessed am I to have a Mother who love me and as I to love her too . .

Always and Forever Mom there will be love in my Heart .

May comfort come to everyone  Blessings to each memories and each day .

ok Mom I did it ,, not as bad as I thought . just miss you so much ..!!! Wish you were here.

Permalink Reply by Sandy H. on March 16, 2011 at 9:01am

I find every day as hard as the day before. I lost me mom a little over 4 yrs ago & it doesn't seem to get any easier. People tell me it does, but that's just there opinion. Until these people loose their mom, they just don't understand. My mom became sick, renal disease, in 2003. I was her primary care giver. Every hospital run, every hospital stay, every everything. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about it at all. My mom was everything to me & I wouldn't have missed being with her thru any of this. I had her POA for everything. Even fired a doctor. I was with her when she died. She was aler & knew what was happening. OMG...I just can't get through this.

Permalink Reply by DEBBIE SYMONS-NETZLER on March 16, 2011 at 10:49am

Sandy H. said:

I find every day as hard as the day before. I lost me mom a little over 4 yrs ago & it doesn't seem to get any easier. People tell me it does, but that's just there opinion. Until these people loose their mom, they just don't understand. My mom became sick, renal disease, in 2003. I was her primary care giver. Every hospital run, every hospital stay, every everything. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about it at all. My mom was everything to me & I wouldn't have missed being with her thru any of this. I had her POA for everything. Even fired a doctor. I was with her when she died. She was aler & knew what was happening. OMG...I just can't get through this.

Permalink Reply by DEBBIE SYMONS-NETZLER on March 16, 2011 at 10:56am

DEBBIE SYMONS-NETZLER said:

Sandy Please hang in there. I lost my mom last June. Everyday is hard but I try to keep remembering all the good times and I will ever hold those in my heart . I talked to my mother at least 15 times a day and that is very hard for everytime I pick up the phone and realize she wont answer anymore. I spent everyday with her as did my siblings at the end.I hate it when people said well you knew it was going to happen but that does not ease the pain of day in day out watching her die and not being able to do anything about it. I know God has a plan for everyone but it seems he only takes the best. God Bless you and please remember all you did for your mother.

Sandy H. said:
I find every day as hard as the day before. I lost me mom a little over 4 yrs ago & it doesn't seem to get any easier. People tell me it does, but that's just there opinion. Until these people loose their mom, they just don't understand. My mom became sick, renal disease, in 2003. I was her primary care giver. Every hospital run, every hospital stay, every everything. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about it at all. My mom was everything to me & I wouldn't have missed being with her thru any of this. I had her POA for everything. Even fired a doctor. I was with her when she died. She was aler & knew what was happening. OMG...I just can't get through this.

Permalink Reply by Baby-daughter on March 19, 2011 at 3:53pm

I wish to thank all of you. I have tried. I cannot live without my Mama. I have 4 times tried to go to her and failed. I am a complete failure. I have come to the conclusion that I need my Mama so I will be seeing her very soon as I have nothing to live for. I love you Mama see you very soon.

Permalink Reply by Crab Apple on March 19, 2011 at 4:21pm

Hello Baby-daughter,

I am so sorry for your loss. My mom passed away in February and it has been very hard to deal with. I found myself unable to deal with my emotions and crying all the time. I was having a tough time at work getting through the day. I went to see my doctor and she gave me a prescription for anti-depressants. Though my grief has not gone away, the intense emotion and hurt I feel has become less. Before you do anything extreme right now - go see a doctor. It had helped for me. May God bless you. Could you please write a post from time to time to make sure you are ok.

Baby-daughter said:

I wish to thank all of you. I have tried. I cannot live without my Mama. I have 4 times tried to go to her and failed. I am a complete failure. I have come to the conclusion that I need my Mama so I will be seeing her very soon as I have nothing to live for. I love you Mama see you very soon.