Missing Mom

Grief support for all who have lost moms

Losing your mother can be traumatic at any age. Share your grief and talk with others who are coping with the loss of their mothers.

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Permalink Reply by Baby-daughter on March 28, 2011 at 8:17pm

To white dove

2 male fawn. Ages 4 ,and 7. Both are potty trained with doggy door and litter trained.

Pictures on previous dissucions

You realize what happens when I find them a home.

Permalink Reply by River of Tears on March 31, 2011 at 5:45am

Dear Baby- daughter

I so wish you knew some how, how many others think about you and care so much . Maybe just maybe , you little ones are some how not going to anyone else for a reason . For a reason that we all had the wonderful Loved ones in our Lives .. You are the only one that can love them as you have . No one else can do that . As I know now one else will ever be able to replace my my Sister or Mother or Father for they to as you were someone I loved more then anything . At times I think they were what made my heart beat and my lung breath . For at times I do lay there and wonder if I am doing either.

Yet for some reason I am still here often wonder myself , where I am to go now , how will I ever be with out my Sister there to be the one to let me know that if to go to the Hospital again that I will be taken care of only the way I would be wanted . Other then to tattoo my chest to say do not touch .
Trust for me is difficult now as life seems so different .. A world not as safe that I had before as for my life long illness that will never go away which at times I wish I could just set on the counter and walk away from it . Yet to reflect on what each of them went through I am not going through even a smidgen of what they did . So if to fall or hurt myself or if others not want to take over my life just to hear what I have , which seems crazy to me at times . Things that others want for you may be worse then what you have . Yet one day maybe just maybe as you I do hope someone you can trust and have close to you will be there to talk or to be there for anything you need . Not to do for you , but just to be there if you need . As you little ones are here still and not gone on to someone else . As to say you are the only one that can Love the like no one else .

Please take

The eyes of you little one will tell you what you already know that you are the one that can Love and you Mother also knows . As she must see you know wishing the same as I , that peace comes you in some way .

I am glad you shared and please write again .

take care

Permalink Reply by Yvonne on March 31, 2011 at 7:40pm

Dear Baby-daughter,

I have been away from this site for a time so only recently became aware of your situation. I think we can all say we certainly sense your pain. The loss of a mother, for all of us, has been so much more painful than any of us imagined.

You are fortunate to have the company of two pets whom you obviously adore. Surely you must know that they also love you, in the special unconditional way that only our pets can. In the length of time these companions have been with you, you have surely found that they sense your pain, your sadness, your distress. And I think you know how lost these special creatures would be if you did leave them with someone else. Pets can't understand why they have a new home, why they have a new owner, why someone else is feeding them. Many animal shelters will tell you that pets who have been abandoned by their owners go through a type of anxiety, they may even believe they are being punished. I know you love your pets too much to cause them that distress.

Everyone here has certainly felt lost without their mothers, but I think that for the most part we try to find a way to carry on and live the life our mothers would have wanted for us. I too felt very near the edge when my life seemed to be spinning out of control after my mother died...and without her to confide in I did not know where to turn. The easy thing to do might have been to give up but in my heart I knew that my mother never encouraged me to give up on anything. I felt I had to carry on out of respect for her, to show the world the person she encouraged me to become.

I have no doubt, Baby-Daughter, that your mother is aware of your pain and your love for her. She would never want you to hurt yourself. Please also know that everyone here wishes you only the best, and hopes that you will call the phone number you were provided if you feel you want to talk to someone.

I pray you will do that.

River of Tears said:

Dear Baby- daughter

I so wish you knew some how, how many others think about you and care so much . Maybe just maybe , you little ones are some how not going to anyone else for a reason . For a reason that we all had the wonderful Loved ones in our Lives .. You are the only one that can love them as you have . No one else can do that . As I know now one else will ever be able to replace my my Sister or Mother or Father for they to as you were someone I loved more then anything . At times I think they were what made my heart beat and my lung breath . For at times I do lay there and wonder if I am doing either.

Yet for some reason I am still here often wonder myself , where I am to go now , how will I ever be with out my Sister there to be the one to let me know that if to go to the Hospital again that I will be taken care of only the way I would be wanted . Other then to tattoo my chest to say do not touch .
Trust for me is difficult now as life seems so different .. A world not as safe that I had before as for my life long illness that will never go away which at times I wish I could just set on the counter and walk away from it . Yet to reflect on what each of them went through I am not going through even a smidgen of what they did . So if to fall or hurt myself or if others not want to take over my life just to hear what I have , which seems crazy to me at times . Things that others want for you may be worse then what you have . Yet one day maybe just maybe as you I do hope someone you can trust and have close to you will be there to talk or to be there for anything you need . Not to do for you , but just to be there if you need . As you little ones are here still and not gone on to someone else . As to say you are the only one that can Love the like no one else .

Please take

The eyes of you little one will tell you what you already know that you are the one that can Love and you Mother also knows . As she must see you know wishing the same as I , that peace comes you in some way .

I am glad you shared and please write again .

take care

Permalink Reply by Baby-daughter on March 31, 2011 at 8:15pm

Thank you Yvonne

Everyone I know is trying to help. But everyone also has someone, income, home,
Family, friends, medical care. I can go on but the situation is hopeless. I need someone to take love keep my babies together. And I will join my Mama.

Again thank you all. I cannot take anymore. Just done.

Please help me find a home for my babies so they can be happy again.

Permalink Reply by Baby-daughter on March 31, 2011 at 8:17pm

If I am unable to fine a good home for my babies the all 3 of us will go to Mama.

Permalink Reply by Carol Jackson on March 31, 2011 at 8:27pm

Baby-daughter, please don't go through with this. Things may seem so hopeless now, but each day does get a little easier. Please hang on! Call a crisis hotline. I know I have felt very hopeless myself at times. I lost a very special aunt, who was like another mom to me, last March, then my mother in June, a young cousin (to suicide, at the age of 22), in October, and my dad in January. We also lost another aunt and a cousin, both to cancer, within the last eight months. It seemed as though every other week someone we loved was taken from us. Your dogs need you, and you need them. Please, please, get the help you need!

Baby-daughter said:

If I am unable to fine a good home for my babies the all 3 of us will go to Mama.

Permalink Reply by Yvonne on March 31, 2011 at 10:41pm

Now, Baby-daughter, please do not do anything to your sweet pets.

I know you do not want to hurt your beloved animals. And they will not understand what they did to make you want to end their lives, when all they have done is love you. I still believe this is not what your mother would want for you. She would want to see you rise above this bleak mood in any way possible.

I believe you once mentioned you had been on Xanax and I remember reading that Xanax can plunge a person into depression if they have been taking it for too long. It also brings on vivid nightmares which you have described. It may not seem like it at times, but I am sure there are other family members or friends of your mothers -- perhaps some who were close to your mother -- with whom you could talk. It does help to be able to talk to someone who misses your mother as much as you do, someone who has memories of her. One thing I am very certain of is that your mother does NOT want this for you. This is not why she worked so hard to raise you, not why she worried about you through your life. Your mother wanted so much more for you than to have you give up on everything in your life. And she would be sad to think your medication led you to such a thought.

It cannot hurt you to call that hotline number which was given to you and I urge you to call the good people there. These are caring souls who will give you all the time and guidance you need and will listen to everything you have to tell them. Please do call them.

May God send a Guardian Angel to watch over you and your beloved pets.

Baby-daughter said:

Thank you Yvonne

Everyone I know is trying to help. But everyone also has someone, income, home,
Family, friends, medical care. I can go on but the situation is hopeless. I need someone to take love keep my babies together. And I will join my Mama.

Again thank you all. I cannot take anymore. Just done.

Please help me find a home for my babies so they can be happy again.

Permalink Reply by Baby-daughter on March 31, 2011 at 11:09pm

I don't know what to say. I called hot line I was put on hold for over 30 min I hung up

I'm alone. Nobody. I have 1 conversation every 2 weeks with my doctors. I'm alone. I have no one to talk to. No one talks to me. I have always been there for them. Now I need help. Nothing.

I just wAnt to die. I just want to die. I want my life to end. I am a failure. 4 attempts to kill myselF and failed. No body knows about it because I'm alone. The psy hospitals kicked me out after about 10 hrs when they found out I am broke no aSsets no health insurance

No one will miss me. I want a home for my puppies. So I can kill myself

Permalink Reply by s l watson on March 31, 2011 at 11:12pm

Baby-daughter, Since losing my Mama, I have found Hospice to be very supportive. They have regular grief sessions where you can get together with others who are having the same feelings and with counselors who can help you figure out how to cope ad how to feel better. Please don't just give up, surely there are avenues available.

Yvonne said:

Now, Baby-daughter, please do not do anything to your sweet pets.

I know you do not want to hurt your beloved animals. And they will not understand what they did to make you want to end their lives, when all they have done is love you. I still believe this is not what your mother would want for you. She would want to see you rise above this bleak mood in any way possible.

I believe you once mentioned you had been on Xanax and I remember reading that Xanax can plunge a person into depression if they have been taking it for too long. It also brings on vivid nightmares which you have described. It may not seem like it at times, but I am sure there are other family members or friends of your mothers -- perhaps some who were close to your mother -- with whom you could talk. It does help to be able to talk to someone who misses your mother as much as you do, someone who has memories of her. One thing I am very certain of is that your mother does NOT want this for you. This is not why she worked so hard to raise you, not why she worried about you through your life. Your mother wanted so much more for you than to have you give up on everything in your life. And she would be sad to think your medication led you to such a thought.

It cannot hurt you to call that hotline number which was given to you and I urge you to call the good people there. These are caring souls who will give you all the time and guidance you need and will listen to everything you have to tell them. Please do call them.

May God send a Guardian Angel to watch over you and your beloved pets.

Baby-daughter said:

Thank you Yvonne

Everyone I know is trying to help. But everyone also has someone, income, home,
Family, friends, medical care. I can go on but the situation is hopeless. I need someone to take love keep my babies together. And I will join my Mama.

Again thank you all. I cannot take anymore. Just done.

Please help me find a home for my babies so they can be happy again.

Permalink Reply by Gary Payton on April 1, 2011 at 5:44am

FEW things in life will ever affect you more deeply than the death of a parent. Not only do you have to endure the intense pain of loss but you are also left to face a future that will likely be quite different from what you had expected.

Perhaps you had hoped that your beloved mom or dad would be there when you finally got a driver’s license or graduated from school or that he or she would share in the joy of your wedding day. Now these hopes have been shattered, leaving you saddened, frustrated, or even angry. How can you cope with the flood of emotions that comes from losing a parent in death?

Don’t

hold back the tears! Crying helps ease the pain of grief. However, you may feel the way Alicia did, who was 19 when her mother passed away. She relates, “I felt that if I showed too much emotion, it would seem to others that I lacked faith.” But think: Jesus Christ was a perfect man who had strong faith in God. Yet, he “gave way to tears” over the death of his dear friend Lazarus. (John 11:35) So don’t be afraid to let your tears flow. It does not mean that you lack faith! Alicia says: “Eventually, I cried. A lot. Every day

Don’t hold back the tears! Crying helps ease the pain of grief. However, you may feel that you're showing too much emotion, it would seem to others that I lacked faith.

But think: Jesus Christ was a perfect man who had strong faith in God. Yet, he “gave way to tears” over the death of his dear friend Lazarus.

So don’t be afraid to let your tears flow.

Permalink Reply by Baby-daughter on April 1, 2011 at 10:50am

I've tried the church. When they found out aLl that has happened they wanted nothing to d with me
The church and so called Christians were a joke

I called that crisis hot line last nigHt. The man who answered just kept saying the same trhing over and over. I asked if I could speak to someone else he said no. He did not want to know what was wrong. Kept saying I will send the police to help you. Yeah I've been there done that. I was nopt violent
Answered all there questions. I was asked for my ID. I explained it was in my walled in my purse. Police said ok get it. When I picked up my purse which was on a counter in plain site my purse was jerked out of my hand, I asked what was that for and the nasty police officer said you have a gun or knife in your purse. I was then handcuffed and carried outside and locked up in an ambulance. I asked why is all thiS being done I was told I tried to attack the officers. I sAid with what my purse, wallet or ID??? As soon as the police shut the doors of the ambulance the EMT took the restraints off of me. I told him thank you

I have been going down in a spiral for the past 3 yrs. Each day gets worse and worse and worse. Today I amd in worse shape financally, medically, emotionally than I was 3 yrs ago. Deeper in dept. Cannot file BK because I have no mone or income. Cannot settle with IRS, FTB because no mone no income. I've caked BK and tax settlement first they won't help me because I cannot pay there fee. Now I have 4 hospital etc bills for psychological. Pluse the 14 days in hospital for meningitis. Now I need an MRI for the pain and tumor in my head. How do I do thid?? State won't help with medical anD the decent doctors won't take the state payment /insurance.

I'm doing this alone. No family, no friends, no one. As strong as my Mama was I do not think she could do thiS alone.

Please fine a wonderful home for my babies. I want them to be happy again. Please help me find them a good home. Please please please. They do not deserve to die with me.

Permalink Reply by white dove on April 1, 2011 at 11:37am

hi baby-daughter, Someone earlier mentioned free grief counseling.. i understand u are tired of all~ but after my mom passed i found free counseling ALL over! Hospice agencies, medical clinics who deal with cancer.. etc etc.. they are there for u:) I didnt want to go to a Hospice center and they sent a counselor to my town especially for me! Yes.. free** And in this state, there is state insurance for those of us who dont have it. Have u checked into this? It is there also dear.

Baby-daughter said:

I've tried the church. When they found out aLl that has happened they wanted nothing to d with me
The church and so called Christians were a joke

I called that crisis hot line last nigHt. The man who answered just kept saying the same trhing over and over. I asked if I could speak to someone else he said no. He did not want to know what was wrong. Kept saying I will send the police to help you. Yeah I've been there done that. I was nopt violent
Answered all there questions. I was asked for my ID. I explained it was in my walled in my purse. Police said ok get it. When I picked up my purse which was on a counter in plain site my purse was jerked out of my hand, I asked what was that for and the nasty police officer said you have a gun or knife in your purse. I was then handcuffed and carried outside and locked up in an ambulance. I asked why is all thiS being done I was told I tried to attack the officers. I sAid with what my purse, wallet or ID??? As soon as the police shut the doors of the ambulance the EMT took the restraints off of me. I told him thank you

I have been going down in a spiral for the past 3 yrs. Each day gets worse and worse and worse. Today I amd in worse shape financally, medically, emotionally than I was 3 yrs ago. Deeper in dept. Cannot file BK because I have no mone or income. Cannot settle with IRS, FTB because no mone no income. I've caked BK and tax settlement first they won't help me because I cannot pay there fee. Now I have 4 hospital etc bills for psychological. Pluse the 14 days in hospital for meningitis. Now I need an MRI for the pain and tumor in my head. How do I do thid?? State won't help with medical anD the decent doctors won't take the state payment /insurance.

I'm doing this alone. No family, no friends, no one. As strong as my Mama was I do not think she could do thiS alone.

Please fine a wonderful home for my babies. I want them to be happy again. Please help me find them a good home. Please please please. They do not deserve to die with me.