Grief support for all who have lost moms

Losing your mother can be traumatic at any age. Share your grief and talk with others who are coping with the loss of their mothers.

 

 

 

 

 

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Baby-Daughter, don't leave.  I've been hoping that by seeing others also grieving and suffering loss, you will come to realize you are not alone.  I've been encouraged that this site is giving you an outlet to express your loss and by having an outlet, it causes you to postpone harming yourself.  If you wait it out, things may improve.  Don't give up.

Baby-daughter said:
White Dove

You have your wish. I will not be on your site any longer.

Hi everyone,

 

My name is Angel and I'm new to the forum. Like everyone that has posted in this discussion, I too lost my mother very recently, 3/20th. Today is Mother's Day and like many of you this is also my first Mother's Day without my mother. I'm just so extremely ready for this day to be over with. I see so many of my friends posting pictures and plans for their mothers on this special and it just makes me cry and think wishful thoughts. I'm a firm believer in Jesus Christ and I know that he makes no mistakes, but wow my mother's death never seen it coming. I guess death is the one thing that we will never be able to prepare for in life. My mom fought breast cancer for four long years and she put up a great fight! It's hard to think about the future knowing that she won't be physically present, but I know she'll always be there for me no matter what! With that being said, I hope everyone has a beautiful day and thanks for taking time out to read my post. Take Care.

Dear Angel,

My condolences to you on the recent loss of your mother -- and welcome to the forum.  I know how difficult this day must be for you coming so soon after your mother's passing.  I believe our mothers never truly leave us, they are with us forever in our hearts and sometimes, in a moment of quiet, we can even sense their gentle presence.  Even tho' this is the third Mothers Day since I lost my own dear Mom, I still have moments when I feel her urging me on through the day.

Your statement about how this is something we are unable to prepare for, is so very true. We never know how or when we may lose the one person who has known us for all of our existence...but its a loss we cannot avoid.

I also understand how you may feel as you learn of friends planning to celebrate today with their mothers.  All you can do is to cherish the happier memories you have of other times shared with your mother.  It may also help if you are able to talk to one of your mother's closest friends or her siblings to share memories of your mother.  They might well appreciate such a phone call as they also surely miss your mother.  Today, after a trip to the gravesite, I will call my mother's oldest and dearest friend; a lady who never had children of her own but who had known my mother since they were teenagers. After our conversations I always feel as tho' I have just had a hug from Mom, and her friend seems to appreciate the call.

I hope that you also manage to have a beautiful day today, and that you will be comforted by the many happier memories you hold of your mother.

 

 
Angel said:

Hi everyone,

 

My name is Angel and I'm new to the forum. Like everyone that has posted in this discussion, I too lost my mother very recently, 3/20th. Today is Mother's Day and like many of you this is also my first Mother's Day without my mother. I'm just so extremely ready for this day to be over with. I see so many of my friends posting pictures and plans for their mothers on this special and it just makes me cry and think wishful thoughts. I'm a firm believer in Jesus Christ and I know that he makes no mistakes, but wow my mother's death never seen it coming. I guess death is the one thing that we will never be able to prepare for in life. My mom fought breast cancer for four long years and she put up a great fight! It's hard to think about the future knowing that she won't be physically present, but I know she'll always be there for me no matter what! With that being said, I hope everyone has a beautiful day and thanks for taking time out to read my post. Take Care.

I joined this website thinking I would get some moral support from those who had experienced the loss I had.  But at my lowest time, no one was there.  I was and still am very dissapointed from the lack of response.  It takes a lot for me to express my feelings at times such as Mothers Day.  But I let all my emotions out in text on this website.  And got not one response.  Others express their feelings and get responses.  Maybe, it's because I'm new here.  I don't know.

 

But I survived another Mothers Day.  And I did it on my own.  Without a support group or website.  It doesn't get easier year after year.

 

The loss of my only child and my mom was devastating and Mothers is the worse time of the year for me.  I reached out to you all and you were not there.

 

Anyway I wish all of you well and will keep you in my prayers.

 

Dear Acquanetta, No worries, some come here rarely.. others more often. some of us use this board as a sounding out our thoughts place. Could it be in the way that you worded your message? And now in knowing you have lost your daughter too... maybe we understand more of your story.

thanks for explaining. Holidays, Mother's day.. all are difficult for us here. There seem to be stages we all go thru depending on the time frame of our losses. Personally Mothers day is a very sad day for me.. then again it is very different for all~ so not that you want to be here (none of us wanted to).. but welcome, and feel free to vent. Someone, will understand. Sorry for your losses* 

Acquanetta Collier said:

I joined this website thinking I would get some moral support from those who had experienced the loss I had.  But at my lowest time, no one was there.  I was and still am very dissapointed from the lack of response.  It takes a lot for me to express my feelings at times such as Mothers Day.  But I let all my emotions out in text on this website.  And got not one response.  Others express their feelings and get responses.  Maybe, it's because I'm new here.  I don't know.

 

But I survived another Mothers Day.  And I did it on my own.  Without a support group or website.  It doesn't get easier year after year.

 

The loss of my only child and my mom was devastating and Mothers is the worse time of the year for me.  I reached out to you all and you were not there.

 

Anyway I wish all of you well and will keep you in my prayers.

 



(white dove) said:

Dear Acquanetta, No worries, some come here rarely.. others more often. some of us use this board as a sounding out our thoughts place. Could it be in the way that you worded your message? And now in knowing you have lost your daughter too... maybe we understand more of your story.

thanks for explaining. Holidays, Mother's day.. all are difficult for us here. There seem to be stages we all go thru depending on the time frame of our losses. Personally Mothers day is a very sad day for me.. then again it is very different for all~ so not that you want to be here (none of us wanted to).. but welcome, and feel free to vent. Someone, will understand. Sorry for your losses* 

Acquanetta Collier said:

I joined this website thinking I would get some moral support from those who had experienced the loss I had.  But at my lowest time, no one was there.  I was and still am very dissapointed from the lack of response.  It takes a lot for me to express my feelings at times such as Mothers Day.  But I let all my emotions out in text on this website.  And got not one response.  Others express their feelings and get responses.  Maybe, it's because I'm new here.  I don't know.

 

But I survived another Mothers Day.  And I did it on my own.  Without a support group or website.  It doesn't get easier year after year.

 

The loss of my only child and my mom was devastating and Mothers is the worse time of the year for me.  I reached out to you all and you were not there.

 

Anyway I wish all of you well and will keep you in my prayers.

 

Thank you for your response White Dove.  I said I lost my only child, I didn't say a daughter.  I had a son.  And regardless of how I worded my feelings, a response would have been greatly appreciated - last week.   I've read this site numerous times daily.  So the number of times someone is on doesn't matter - someone read my words. 

I read a note by someone once where she said she didn't feel like a mother anymore now that her child was gone, she was obviously very upset and I responded with words of encouragement. 

 

I don't think its wrong for me to expect the same.

 

 Its water under the bridge now.  I know now this site isn't all it was said to be.

Acquanetta Collier said:



(white dove) said:

Dear Acquanetta, No worries, some come here rarely.. others more often. some of us use this board as a sounding out our thoughts place. Could it be in the way that you worded your message? And now in knowing you have lost your daughter too... maybe we understand more of your story.

thanks for explaining. Holidays, Mother's day.. all are difficult for us here. There seem to be stages we all go thru depending on the time frame of our losses. Personally Mothers day is a very sad day for me.. then again it is very different for all~ so not that you want to be here (none of us wanted to).. but welcome, and feel free to vent. Someone, will understand. Sorry for your losses* 

Acquanetta Collier said:

I joined this website thinking I would get some moral support from those who had experienced the loss I had.  But at my lowest time, no one was there.  I was and still am very dissapointed from the lack of response.  It takes a lot for me to express my feelings at times such as Mothers Day.  But I let all my emotions out in text on this website.  And got not one response.  Others express their feelings and get responses.  Maybe, it's because I'm new here.  I don't know.

 

But I survived another Mothers Day.  And I did it on my own.  Without a support group or website.  It doesn't get easier year after year.

 

The loss of my only child and my mom was devastating and Mothers is the worse time of the year for me.  I reached out to you all and you were not there.

 

Anyway I wish all of you well and will keep you in my prayers.

 

Ok "whatever"

Acquanetta Collier said:


(white dove) said:

Dear Acquanetta, No worries, some come here rarely.. others more often. some of us use this board as a sounding out our thoughts place. Could it be in the way that you worded your message? And now in knowing you have lost your daughter too... maybe we understand more of your story.

thanks for explaining. Holidays, Mother's day.. all are difficult for us here. There seem to be stages we all go thru depending on the time frame of our losses. Personally Mothers day is a very sad day for me.. then again it is very different for all~ so not that you want to be here (none of us wanted to).. but welcome, and feel free to vent. Someone, will understand. Sorry for your losses* 

Acquanetta Collier said:

I joined this website thinking I would get some moral support from those who had experienced the loss I had.  But at my lowest time, no one was there.  I was and still am very dissapointed from the lack of response.  It takes a lot for me to express my feelings at times such as Mothers Day.  But I let all my emotions out in text on this website.  And got not one response.  Others express their feelings and get responses.  Maybe, it's because I'm new here.  I don't know.

 

But I survived another Mothers Day.  And I did it on my own.  Without a support group or website.  It doesn't get easier year after year.

 

The loss of my only child and my mom was devastating and Mothers is the worse time of the year for me.  I reached out to you all and you were not there.

 

Anyway I wish all of you well and will keep you in my prayers.

 

Acquanetta......I am very sorry no one responded to the feelings you were having.   I know what that is like.  My mom died when I was 10yrs old. Went to the hospital to remove a tumor and once in they found colon cancer, they gave her 6 months but she died in less than 2 weeks.  At that time kids weren't allowed in the hospital unless you were 16 or 17 and they wouldn't even let me or my sisters talk to her on the phone. My feelings I have with God weren't that great then, who would take a wonderful woman away from 4 children (me 10yrs, sisters that are twins 9yrs, and my brother 17 yrs). My brother was the only one allowed to see her. So yes I have a problem with God even more so now since my oldest daughter, Jennifer, 29 yrs old, died in a fire in our home.  Like white dove said above, some come and just read the comments, others will make comments, but if any are like me sometimes I just don't know what to say. I'm not here everyday, Mother's day was really a bad one for me, and I do apologize that you were not acknowledge for your post.  If you will accept them....hugs to you...Linda, Jennifer's mom

Acquanetta Collier said:

I joined this website thinking I would get some moral support from those who had experienced the loss I had.  But at my lowest time, no one was there.  I was and still am very dissapointed from the lack of response.  It takes a lot for me to express my feelings at times such as Mothers Day.  But I let all my emotions out in text on this website.  And got not one response.  Others express their feelings and get responses.  Maybe, it's because I'm new here.  I don't know.

 

But I survived another Mothers Day.  And I did it on my own.  Without a support group or website.  It doesn't get easier year after year.

 

The loss of my only child and my mom was devastating and Mothers is the worse time of the year for me.  I reached out to you all and you were not there.

 

Anyway I wish all of you well and will keep you in my prayers.

 

Acquanetta, how does one respond to that kind of confession?  We all occasionally feel helpless and angry that our loved ones left us.  But we have an appointed time and when your time come, you'll also depart this life.  ll we can do is honor those who we loved and lost.  I feel I do a great service by remembering my parents and sharing their achievements with others.  Yesterdy, I pickled beets and canned five pints.  I used Mama's recipe and some of her canning equipment.  I know she would have been proud and I shared this with my Facebook friends.  A jar of pickled beets in the grocery store is $2, after calculating the price of plants, fertilizer, sugar, vinegar, spices I feel I broke even.  But channelling my beloved Mama with her recipe and equipment and how she lovingly preserved summer's bounty for those she loved...PRICELESS.

Acquanetta Collier said:
God I hate Mothers day.  I will be glad when this weekend is over.  I don't want to go to church because they always have something for the mothers.  I dont have a mother to give anything to or a child to receive anything from.  the hell with mothers day.  Im being selfish but I can't help it.  I'm a mothers day scrooge.

to s l watson:  In keeping our Mom's traditions (cooking, baking, canning)..it is such a wonderful way to Honor our Moms!!! I asked my mom to teach me her techniques.. and i failed miserably lol.. but now, will pay strick attention to her recipes and will try again:)  Thank you for bringing this up.. for me, it sure seemed i didnt appreciate ALL until after my Mom passed.. guess that's not all that unique.

I also have my mom's cooking utensils.. which soothes my soul~   Thank you!

s l watson said:

Acquanetta, how does one respond to that kind of confession?  We all occasionally feel helpless and angry that our loved ones left us.  But we have an appointed time and when your time come, you'll also depart this life.  ll we can do is honor those who we loved and lost.  I feel I do a great service by remembering my parents and sharing their achievements with others.  Yesterdy, I pickled beets and canned five pints.  I used Mama's recipe and some of her canning equipment.  I know she would have been proud and I shared this with my Facebook friends.  A jar of pickled beets in the grocery store is $2, after calculating the price of plants, fertilizer, sugar, vinegar, spices I feel I broke even.  But channelling my beloved Mama with her recipe and equipment and how she lovingly preserved summer's bounty for those she loved...PRICELESS.

Acquanetta Collier said:
God I hate Mothers day.  I will be glad when this weekend is over.  I don't want to go to church because they always have something for the mothers.  I dont have a mother to give anything to or a child to receive anything from.  the hell with mothers day.  Im being selfish but I can't help it.  I'm a mothers day scrooge.

I lost my mother not even a year ago..June 12th will be a year. I lost her to . She passed away 2 days before her 54rd birthday. I am only 35 and lost the women who raised me and was always there for me. It has been very hard this passed year. She fought for over 2 years with cancer and was a very active women. Very well known in our community and very well respected. She used to tell me that when she dies I will have to "put on my big girl panties" and move on. On the outside I do fine but on the inside it hurts so much. I dont know how to move on. I feel alot of anger inside. Its just not fair, I still need her in my life. I dont know if she knew how much I loved her and even though we didnt always see eye to eye on things I still needed her. I think back wishing that we would of been closer when I was a teenager and in my twenties. We were close but sometimes she didnt agree with me on things I did in my life, but she was always there for me. I miss her so much. There is such an empty feeling inside me and I wish it didnt hurt anymore. She died so suddenly not like most cancer patients. My 15 year old son was staying the night and she was talking about going to the movies with him if she was feeling up to it and then she gets up in the middle of the night, she feels like she is choking and my dad gets up to take to her the hospital and shes on the bathroom floor in a pool of blood. Later we find out she had a ruptured artery in her neck. Lungs filled up with blood, doctors said she went quickly and felt no pain, but how do I get those images out of my head. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever gone threw. People say time heals, Im still waiting. I do not know how to let go. I was her only child. I do have a step brother but we are not close, and my step dad is a good man and does miss her soo much but I feel like I have nobody...it was her and I for so long after my father left when I was 10. How do I move on and not feel this emptiness and feel this anger that I have towards HIM(God). I am so mad that he took her away from me.

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