Missing Mom

Grief support for all who have lost moms

Losing your mother can be traumatic at any age. Share your grief and talk with others who are coping with the loss of their mothers.

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Permalink Reply by GailM. on October 20, 2009 at 12:03pm

I guess I am not sure how to do this. I would like to talk to everyone as I feel maybe someone has knowledge of something that may help someone else. I don't know how much help I will be as I can't find my way around the website.

Gail

Permalink Reply by Deborah on October 23, 2009 at 5:53pm

I lost my mom on July 24, 2009. She collapsed from a cardiac arrest and spent three days on life support until the doctors assured us that she had no brain activity. Next to my husband, she was my very best friend and I miss her all the time. I still find myself picking up the phone to call her sometimes. Everyone I know who has lost a parent tells me that time does indeed heal; I hope they are right.

Permalink Reply by GailM. on October 23, 2009 at 7:07pm

I have to disagree as I find I miss My Mother more as time goes on. I am in denial and this happened over seven years ago. You keep waiting to see Her and/or talk to Her and other than looking towards the sky or Her chair and talking, I honestly wish I was with Her. Life will never be the same as before.

Gail

Permalink Reply by Jennifer on October 24, 2009 at 12:24am

Hi Gail,
I have to say it has been hard to make me laugh lately...But you crack me up with your posts.. I agree it is a bit odd how the reply set up is. I think I responded to myself a few times too. !! Well, I'm not going to say it gets easier, BUT, I changed me as a person. I miss my mom terribly..I have faith that God is taking realyy good care of her and my dad. They are my angels smiling down on me..until I can be with them.!! I too, when my mom past on April 21,09, just wanted to be with her and was ready to die..However, God isn't ready for me, i guess, Blind faith..If I could recommend a book, I don't know how you feel about a higher power, But the book "The Shack" by WM. Paul Young is worth a try.. Phenomenal book and easy reading..Just a suggestion..God bless..and it does get easier to cope..but not a second goes by that I am not thinking about my wonderful, beautiful mom.Hang in there!!
Gail said:

I have to disagree as I find I miss My Mother more as time goes on. I am in denial and this happened over seven years ago. You keep waiting to see Her and/or talk to Her and other than looking towards the sky or Her chair and talking, I honestly wish I was with Her. Life will never be the same as before.

Gail

Permalink Reply by GailM. on October 24, 2009 at 8:35am

Yes, I am open to books and higher powers and will order "The Shack" from the library. I think of My Mother all the time and all the intelligent things She taught me. Also She had a great sense of humor and I hope I have that also. Mom wouldn't want me to be depressed however missing Her so very much I can't help feeling that way. I have a lot of good friends and go out a lot however that is not the answer as when I return home, Mom is not here. I have a 92 year old Aunt - Mom's Sister - and She has my Mom's easy-going personality. I am however very "high strung". I live in New Jersey and where do you live? I am curious as to what states people live in as I find in amazing to talk to people all over and not know them and be able to have something that either one can say that may help each other. My therapist recommended writing in a book what I am thinking...............I have tried that for awhile.................Peace to all
Gail

Permalink Reply by GailM. on October 24, 2009 at 10:49am

I ordered the book from the library. There is a short wait for it.

Permalink Reply by Jennifer on October 24, 2009 at 4:38pm

I'm glad..I am from upstate NY..If you ever need to talk, I'm here, however, I can't figure out how to invite friends..lol..So you are not alone in many ways Gail!! I'd be happy to give you y personal e-mail?? ttys!!
Gail said:

I ordered the book from the library. There is a short wait for it.

Permalink Reply by Marilyn on October 25, 2009 at 1:53pm

I've been following these posts and wanted to share this. I was going through papers and cards my mother had and came across this one. I wrote this to my mother a few years before she died, on her birthday. She saved this. I'm so glad I wrote this to her.

Mother...
I am a part of you...my umbilical cord...
Tied to the very center, the core, of my being.
I look at my life and all its moments,
And there you are... always a part of it.
My life has been painted against a background of your life.

Am I copying you?
Or rebelling against you?
Feeling different from you,
Or feeling the same?
Wanting to break free
Or wanting to hold on?

Who I am is so much of who you are.
What I think is so much of what you've taught me.
Where I start is where you end.
Where you've been, I will follow.
What Life has taught you, I will learn...and more.
Despite our differences,
Our Love exists.

When I was little, it was just you and me against all else.
As I grew, I watched you struggle to make a home for us.
No matter how rough the world, you were a rock for me
Always there...always strong.
Unconditional Love.
Knowing you would always hold my heart tenderly in your arms,
No matter what.
Knowing I would always hold your heart close to mine,
No matter what.

Two lives...one heart.
Created by one body.
From before birth to now,
Always a part of each other
So that if we took our Love away...
I wouldn't know...
Who I was.

Permalink Reply by GailM. on October 25, 2009 at 2:10pm

That is really beautiful. You are a very good writer.

Gail

Permalink Reply by Marilyn on October 25, 2009 at 2:39pm

Thank you so much. After I re-read it, I realized how true it was. I no longer know who I am, because my mother is gone and our Love has been taken away. I'm so flat...what I like to do...what I think...who I am...even to the simplest thing like dressing. I used to love dressing with a flair and she was more classic. Now I have no idea what to put on...nothing ever seems right, to be me, because she was my background against which my life was painted...and now I'm free-floating. I have nothing to ground me. I hate this.

Permalink Reply by cherrie on October 25, 2009 at 4:21pm

cherrie: I lost my very dear mom sept 13th 2009 on grandparents day. I"m so lost without her. I write letters everyday I still talk to her but my heart is broken and I really think I won't ever get over this. I have 1 oldest sister 1 middle brother and I was the baby. I was her healthcare provider for her for years. Now my dad don't want anything to do with me. That too breaks my heart. Theres times when I just don't want to go on anymore more days of those than the thrive to live. Please if anyone out there knows anything to help me get thru this I would love to hear from you. Thank-you and God Bless

Permalink Reply by GailM. on October 25, 2009 at 4:27pm

First of all and most important your love has not been taken away. I understand the part about no longer knowing who you are and what you like to do. My Mother was my strength and I miss Her very much............beyond any words than I could describe. Mom will always love me and I will always love Her. The love never goes away and I guess we have to hope and pray and believe that we will be re-united. I have to think Mom is restored to good health and walking around in Heaven. I can't wait to get there with Her.

GailM.