Missing Mom

Grief support for all who have lost moms

Losing your mother can be traumatic at any age. Share your grief and talk with others who are coping with the loss of their mothers.

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Permalink Reply by GailM. on October 25, 2009 at 4:35pm

I don't know how much help I can give you. I understand how lost you are and writing letters every day is good. Talking to Your Mother every day is good also and when I am somewhere and feeling really depressed, I tell myself My Mom is with me and I kinda' "hold her hand" to help me through. I don't know what happened with your father however would you consider going for therapy? I go to a psychiatrist and a therapist and they are helpful. They both have said there is nothing they can do to fix why I am depressed as they can't bring My Mother back. I get medication from my psychiatrist and my therapist is great to talk to. Do you get along with your siblings and can they help you? Do you have nieces or nephews? Peace to you and all here. GailM. (I changed my name to GailM. as there were a lot of Gails).

cherrie said:

cherrie: I lost my very dear mom sept 13th 2009 on grandparents day. I"m so lost without her. I write letters everyday I still talk to her but my heart is broken and I really think I won't ever get over this. I have 1 oldest sister 1 middle brother and I was the baby. I was her healthcare provider for her for years. Now my dad don't want anything to do with me. That too breaks my heart. Theres times when I just don't want to go on anymore more days of those than the thrive to live. Please if anyone out there knows anything to help me get thru this I would love to hear from you. Thank-you and God Bless

Permalink Reply by GailM. on October 25, 2009 at 4:36pm

Are your GrandParents living as that would be a good place to visit?

GailM.

Permalink Reply by GailM. on October 25, 2009 at 5:22pm

This is for everyone. Probably most of you have read this. I didn't write it and I really like this poem. Maybe this will help a little and I know nothing will ever make everything okay.

I Did Not Die

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and forever cry.
I am not there. I did not die.

Permalink Reply by GailM. on October 25, 2009 at 5:30pm

I, also, have sent balloons to Heaven to My Mom. I watch until they disappear and are completely gone and believe they reach that far. I recently went to
a funeral and it was in the Church and they celebrated his life. He was 65 years old and I knew his wife. They believe that is the best place you can go and that is why we are here...........I saw his wife a few weeks later and asked her how she was and she said "fine.............he couldn't be in a better place" and I said "How can you know that for sure"? and her answer was........."Do you know of anyone that ever came back"? and she said that is because it is so beautiful there...............I really hope that she is right...................Peace to all.....GailM

Permalink Reply by white dove on October 25, 2009 at 8:17pm

Gail, I love your poem as well! I feel in my Heart so much of it is true!

GailM. said:

This is for everyone. Probably most of you have read this. I didn't write it and I really like this poem. Maybe this will help a little and I know nothing will ever make everything okay.

I Did Not Die

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and forever cry.
I am not there. I did not die.

Permalink Reply by GailM. on October 25, 2009 at 8:46pm

I don't know if anyone saw "Lion King" and we went into New York a few years ago to see that. In one part, I am not sure which character was depressed as one of his Parents had passed away and another character told him that the person did not pass away......................and was told to look in the water and the character told him the reflection was himself and that his Parent/s live on inside of her/him....................I thought that was really beautiful because our Parents do live on inside of us and we learn their traits and how to treat people and all of their attributes. Peace to all................GailM

Permalink Reply by white dove on October 25, 2009 at 9:04pm

Gail, you are so right. I have taken a long look at the Good i have learned and taken inside of me, from my parents. Even from my father. and i told him this while he was in critical condition. I thanked him for helping me learn my great love for nature and all animals. From animals i recieve unconditonal love. U see, he was a very brutal person, and i found my only avenue to love in animals when i was very young! so i made lemonade out of a lemon. I found peace in this.

GailM. said:

I don't know if anyone saw "Lion King" and we went into New York a few years ago to see that. In one part, I am not sure which character was depressed as one of his Parents had passed away and another character told him that the person did not pass away......................and was told to look in the water and the character told him the reflection was himself and that his Parent/s live on inside of her/him....................I thought that was really beautiful because our Parents do live on inside of us and we learn their traits and how to treat people and all of their attributes. Peace to all................GailM

Permalink Reply by Jennifer on October 26, 2009 at 4:33am

i 'M NOT SURE IF IT WAS YOU GAIL, BUT THE BOOK THE SHACK...JUST HAVE TO READ IT.. ALL OF IT!!!! HONEST TO GOD... IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!

(white dove) said:

Gail, you are so right. I have taken a long look at the Good i have learned and taken inside of me, from my parents. Even from my father. and i told him this while he was in critical condition. I thanked him for helping me learn my great love for nature and all animals. From animals i recieve unconditonal love. U see, he was a very brutal person, and i found my only avenue to love in animals when i was very young! so i made lemonade out of a lemon. I found peace in this.

GailM. said:
I don't know if anyone saw "Lion King" and we went into New York a few years ago to see that. In one part, I am not sure which character was depressed as one of his Parents had passed away and another character told him that the person did not pass away......................and was told to look in the water and the character told him the reflection was himself and that his Parent/s live on inside of her/him....................I thought that was really beautiful because our Parents do live on inside of us and we learn their traits and how to treat people and all of their attributes. Peace to all................GailM

Permalink Reply by Jennifer on October 26, 2009 at 4:37am

LOVE IS ETERNAL!!!..BEAUTIFUL...

Marilyn said:

I've been following these posts and wanted to share this. I was going through papers and cards my mother had and came across this one. I wrote this to my mother a few years before she died, on her birthday. She saved this. I'm so glad I wrote this to her.

Mother...
I am a part of you...my umbilical cord...
Tied to the very center, the core, of my being.
I look at my life and all its moments,
And there you are... always a part of it.
My life has been painted against a background of your life.

Am I copying you?
Or rebelling against you?
Feeling different from you,
Or feeling the same?
Wanting to break free
Or wanting to hold on?

Who I am is so much of who you are.
What I think is so much of what you've taught me.
Where I start is where you end.
Where you've been, I will follow.
What Life has taught you, I will learn...and more.
Despite our differences,
Our Love exists.

When I was little, it was just you and me against all else.
As I grew, I watched you struggle to make a home for us.
No matter how rough the world, you were a rock for me
Always there...always strong.
Unconditional Love.
Knowing you would always hold my heart tenderly in your arms,
No matter what.
Knowing I would always hold your heart close to mine,
No matter what.

Two lives...one heart.
Created by one body.
From before birth to now,
Always a part of each other
So that if we took our Love away...
I wouldn't know...
Who I was.

Permalink Reply by GailM. on October 26, 2009 at 6:08am

Yes I ordered the book "The Shack" from the library. GailM.

Jennifer said:

i 'M NOT SURE IF IT WAS YOU GAIL, BUT THE BOOK THE SHACK...JUST HAVE TO READ IT.. ALL OF IT!!!! HONEST TO GOD... IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!

(white dove) said:
Gail, you are so right. I have taken a long look at the Good i have learned and taken inside of me, from my parents. Even from my father. and i told him this while he was in critical condition. I thanked him for helping me learn my great love for nature and all animals. From animals i recieve unconditonal love. U see, he was a very brutal person, and i found my only avenue to love in animals when i was very young! so i made lemonade out of a lemon. I found peace in this.

GailM. said:
I don't know if anyone saw "Lion King" and we went into New York a few years ago to see that. In one part, I am not sure which character was depressed as one of his Parents had passed away and another character told him that the person did not pass away......................and was told to look in the water and the character told him the reflection was himself and that his Parent/s live on inside of her/him....................I thought that was really beautiful because our Parents do live on inside of us and we learn their traits and how to treat people and all of their attributes. Peace to all................GailM

Permalink Reply by GailM. on October 28, 2009 at 11:04am

I thought this may be a way to help as a couple of you have written poems and/or stories. My therapist has suggested I enter these however for the writing for myself and if I win, okay however that is not the reason to write. Somehow the writing helps for some people. This is the information I have and good luck. Peace to all....................GailM.

Enter the only WD competition exclusively for poets, the
Writer's Digest Poetry Awards! Regardless of style—rhyming,
free verse, haiku and more—if your poems are 32 lines or fewer,
we want them all. Submit your entries by the December 15, 2009
deadline ... and your words could be worth cold hard cash!

First Place: $500
Second Place: $250
Third Place: $100
Fourth Through Tenth Place: $25
Eleventh Through Twenty-Fifth Place:
$50 gift certificate to Writer's Digest Books

Plus, the names and poem titles of all First- through Tenth-Place
winners will be printed in the August 2010 issue of Writer's Digest,
and all winners will receive a copy of the 2010 Poet's Market. I think I left out the website?

Permalink Reply by Mary Jo Scalise on October 30, 2009 at 9:34am

Lisa said:

I know something of how you are feeling. I am 39. I will be 40 soon. It will be my first birthday without my mom. I lived with her. We did everything together. I miss her everyday. I , too, just want my mom back. She was everything to me. I am lost without her.

Bobbie Lynn DeMers said:
My mama passed over last year Jan 2008, at age 56 from Alzheimer's. I think she died from the medication, because the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with her for the year before she died, the medications seemed to make her worse. I don't know different people have different theories. I can't even begin to tell you what I went through trying to make somebody see she was getting sick. And now I'm estranged from both sides of my family, I'm not married and have no children. Enough about me being all alone, but she really was my whole world, we were best friends, we went everywhere together. I even lived with her and took care of her. I can't seem to understand that she's been gone well over a year. My worst fear has always been losing my mama and now she's gone. I can't get on with anything. I'm 36 years old, and I don't know how to live without her. I'm so sorry for all your losses, and it does help to know I'm not the only one, although I'm still so alone. I don't think I'll ever get over this, seeing her suffer is what really hurts, too. And the way my family doesn't seem to care how I am. (Is that selfish of me)? She sends me signs all the time. But every day is still a struggle for me. I'm bitter today, towards my family, the doctors, even God. And I'm sorry. Will somebody please tell me it'll be okay one day? Or just let me know you understand? Thank you so much for reading, and sharing your heart, too.

Lorna said:
I am 49 and my mom just passed away May 1 and I feel the same about wanting my mommy back. I'm glad to see I'm not alone. I just go with it and allow myself to feel it. I think it is ok - a bit cathartic.

Robin Bro n said:
This is so true! My mother died unexpectedly in April and I don't know how long I will deal with the greif. On top of that, my uncle - her brother - died two weeks ago from lung cancer and I don''t know what is harder...the grief from his death or the greif I feel all over again from loosing her. And I am fighting with my brother and sister-in-law about every thing. Does it ever get better. Will I ever stop wanting 'my mommy' back at the ripe old age of 46?