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Permalink Reply by white dove on January 3, 2010 at 12:54pm

Wow, your story brought tears to my eyes. Not a bad thing. How very special for you, and i know it is very hard to think of things this way, but i just think in holding on to or having faith, can help a little... I have heard many times of a beloved leaving and a new Birth coming right after! Makes one wonder if there is such a thing as reincarnation.??? My father caused much horrendous "turmoil" in my moms and us kids lives.. but he is still here. And now i have a new perspective on things after losing my mom. He is all i have left. And now i have left the past where it belongs in forgiveness. I need to give him love and peace before his journey home now.. and he is gravely ill with Parkinsons. I have learned to send all off with love. so much better than the alternative. Thank you for sharing your very spiritual time with your mom.. and son... and i KNOW we will see them all later! A little bit of peace to all today.

HEIDI L. COLE said:

I lost my Mom on july 14th 1988, the same day my son was born. My son is now 21 and I still feel like it was just yesterday that she paseed. Mom had a heart attack. I did get to see her that day, I was on bed rest for bleeding and she came to visit me. We had a wonderful visit and she could tell how uncomfortable I was. Mom rubbed my belly, rubbed the babys' crib sheet, as the room was already and waiting for his arrival. When she hugged me goodbye she said I love you and you will deliver a baby boy tommorrow(we did not know the sex of the baby). I hugged and kissed my mother and we both said I love you to each other, it was weird I felt like she was saying goodbye to me forever. When my husband came home from work I told him how I felt, he told me not to worry and rubbed my belly. Three hours later as we were getting ready for bed my brother called and talked to my husband and said to come to the hospital. Mom was gone when I got there. I went into labor 4 hours later and had the little boy she rubbed. She would have loved my son, he has so much of her in him. I miss her all the time so who ever said time heals was so so wrong. Would love some feed back!

Permalink Reply by Janet on January 3, 2010 at 5:16pm

I have been reading a book titled Heart Links, about after death communication and other things related to this. The author maintains that some souls do return again in new babies born. You never know! My mom passed away in September and I miss her every single day. She and I were so close we could read each others thoughts. I feel that she is with me somehow.

HEIDI L. COLE said:

I lost my Mom on july 14th 1988, the same day my son was born. My son is now 21 and I still feel like it was just yesterday that she paseed. Mom had a heart attack. I did get to see her that day, I was on bed rest for bleeding and she came to visit me. We had a wonderful visit and she could tell how uncomfortable I was. Mom rubbed my belly, rubbed the babys' crib sheet, as the room was already and waiting for his arrival. When she hugged me goodbye she said I love you and you will deliver a baby boy tommorrow(we did not know the sex of the baby). I hugged and kissed my mother and we both said I love you to each other, it was weird I felt like she was saying goodbye to me forever. When my husband came home from work I told him how I felt, he told me not to worry and rubbed my belly. Three hours later as we were getting ready for bed my brother called and talked to my husband and said to come to the hospital. Mom was gone when I got there. I went into labor 4 hours later and had the little boy she rubbed. She would have loved my son, he has so much of her in him. I miss her all the time so who ever said time heals was so so wrong. Would love some feed back!

Permalink Reply by Gary on January 3, 2010 at 5:58pm

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At 6:15am on December 31st, 2009, Gary said…
I lost my mother on December 18th, after watching her get weaker because she couldn't eat or drink anything for days before the inevitable end. Filled with anticipatory grief, I couldn't sit with her as the end approached without breaking down. I couldn't say the words, "I love you" because mere words didn't seem to cover the feeling. I couldn't say "good by" at the cemetery because I want to believe she'll always be with me. Then I cried through much of the memorial service. During the first week, I sat looking at her picture and cried--a lot. Last night at the grocery store, I almost broke down in one of the aisles, remembering that I was only shopping for one. I had dinner out, and felt very empty realizing that mother wasn't sitting on the other side of the table. I was her primary caregiver for the last four years--and miss her terribly--though I had some feelings of burnout near the end. Mother's death left me feeling a great emptiness, as the biggest part of my life had been ripped away; also with a sense of huge loss, and some relief from a huge burden. Now, I have to pull the pieces together and start building a new life. I'm not sure how to do it. Delete Comment



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Permalink Reply by MICHELLE on January 5, 2010 at 1:35am

MY MOM WENT TO HEAVEN FEB 24 2008.SHE WAS FINE AND HEALTHY AND WENT TO SLEEP ON SAT NITE AND NEVER WOKE UP.SHE WAS YOUNG(60).TO YOUNG FOR THIS.SHE RAISED US TO BELEIVE WHEN ITS YOUR TIME, ITS YOUR TIME.GOD IS READY FOR YOU.SO I DONT QUESTION THIS OR ELSE I FEEL IAM NOT HONORING MY MOM.BUT THE PAIN I FEEL IN MY HEART IS SO OVERWHELMING SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I CANT TAKE A BREATH.I STILL KNOW EXACTLEY HOW MANY DAYS ITS BEEN SINCE SHE WENT TO HEAVEN.IT JUST DOSENT GET EASIER.

Permalink Reply by amaryllis on January 5, 2010 at 6:02am

Hi, Michelle, your love for your mom never ends, you miss her and you can tell she is close to you. Whoever had a similar experience - having lost and always missing a beloved one, is here reading your words and knowing the feeling. i lost my son months ago and this past night i had a dream with him, visiting me , talking to me - it was so real, the feeling was good, the feeling keeps being good and the memory of this dream i will keep with me. Michelle, i think of you. xx


MICHELLE said:

MY MOM WENT TO HEAVEN FEB 24 2008.SHE WAS FINE AND HEALTHY AND WENT TO SLEEP ON SAT NITE AND NEVER WOKE UP.SHE WAS YOUNG(60).TO YOUNG FOR THIS.SHE RAISED US TO BELEIVE WHEN ITS YOUR TIME, ITS YOUR TIME.GOD IS READY FOR YOU.SO I DONT QUESTION THIS OR ELSE I FEEL IAM NOT HONORING MY MOM.BUT THE PAIN I FEEL IN MY HEART IS SO OVERWHELMING SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I CANT TAKE A BREATH.I STILL KNOW EXACTLEY HOW MANY DAYS ITS BEEN SINCE SHE WENT TO HEAVEN.IT JUST DOSENT GET EASIER.

Permalink Reply by Nancy on January 5, 2010 at 12:29pm

My mother passed away on Dec 10th2008, Christmas was a strange mix of emotions. I found myself christmas shopping like it was my last christmas, I want to scream Mommie mommie,,, like a child. but instead I try to pray or get busy, after all our parents want us to be happie, not cry and scream for them. but it is just the feelings I get that sometimes sicken me. One of the hardest things is you feel like no one wants to hear about her last days and how hard it was. It is like the world goes on and no one cares about her know that she is gone. She left me money that came in handy and peace of mind, and a new freedom of respect for myself hard to explain I guess we do get the strenth of our parents It is hard to belive I can't call her with the lastest gossip to make her laugh...In Memory of Annie.......

Permalink Reply by Nancy on January 5, 2010 at 12:32pm

mommasgirl said:

I can really relate to EVERYTHING you wrote. Some days are harder than others. I think it is great that you are in grief counseling. It just takes time for the pain to subside. Having lost both parents in so short a time makes it doubly difficult. When I lost my mom, my children realized that if my mother could die, so could theirs. It has made us even closer than before. They have been so supportive and they are grieving right alongside me. Not wanting them to suffer the same way has made me have conversations with them about what to do when I die. I am their only remaining parent so they will have to take care of everything. I have a will but I also wrote out EXACTLY what they will need to do. I went over it with them and put the paper in a place they will be able to access it. For Mother's Day my daughter bought a frame that holds three pictures and put in pictures of my mom, me and her. It is a lovely tribute to my mom and her legacy.

Kathy Ledford said:

I lost my mother in August of 2008. This was the first Mother's Day without her and I had a very hard time. I cried all day and when I went to the cemetary to take her flowers it just broke my heart. I also put a note on a balloon and released it at the graveside. Now June is coming up and Father's Day. I lost my dad 43 days after my mom. I just pray that this time of year will be easier to cope with as time passes. I just wanted to see her and talk to her and hug her and tell her how much I love and miss her. That is what I did in my note that I sent up with the balloon. I don't think I have ever felt such heartache and grief. I don't know if I will ever be able to get over this. I know life has to go on but it hurts so much. I am going to grief counseling and it is helping some but there are just days that it is almost unbearable. There is no love like a mother's love and when that is gone it really does have an effect on everything in your life. I pray for God to give me the peace in my heart that I can go on with my life.. I have my children and grandchildren and it breaks my heart to know that one day they will have to suffer this pain. Please pray for me that I can grow to accept this loss and maybe if I can help someone else who has lost their mom or dad, that would help me deal with my loss.

Permalink Reply by Nancy on January 5, 2010 at 12:32pm

Nancy said:

mommasgirl said:

I can really relate to EVERYTHING you wrote. Some days are harder than others. I think it is great that you are in grief counseling. It just takes time for the pain to subside. Having lost both parents in so short a time makes it doubly difficult. When I lost my mom, my children realized that if my mother could die, so could theirs. It has made us even closer than before. They have been so supportive and they are grieving right alongside me. Not wanting them to suffer the same way has made me have conversations with them about what to do when I die. I am their only remaining parent so they will have to take care of everything. I have a will but I also wrote out EXACTLY what they will need to do. I went over it with them and put the paper in a place they will be able to access it. For Mother's Day my daughter bought a frame that holds three pictures and put in pictures of my mom, me and her. It is a lovely tribute to my mom and her legacy.

Kathy Ledford said:

I lost my mother in August of 2008. This was the first Mother's Day without her and I had a very hard time. I cried all day and when I went to the cemetary to take her flowers it just broke my heart. I also put a note on a balloon and released it at the graveside. Now June is coming up and Father's Day. I lost my dad 43 days after my mom. I just pray that this time of year will be easier to cope with as time passes. I just wanted to see her and talk to her and hug her and tell her how much I love and miss her. That is what I did in my note that I sent up with the balloon. I don't think I have ever felt such heartache and grief. I don't know if I will ever be able to get over this. I know life has to go on but it hurts so much. I am going to grief counseling and it is helping some but there are just days that it is almost unbearable. There is no love like a mother's love and when that is gone it really does have an effect on everything in your life. I pray for God to give me the peace in my heart that I can go on with my life.. I have my children and grandchildren and it breaks my heart to know that one day they will have to suffer this pain. Please pray for me that I can grow to accept this loss and maybe if I can help someone else who has lost their mom or dad, that would help me deal with my loss.

Permalink Reply by Toy Williams on January 5, 2010 at 8:03pm

Dear Tracy
Wow that has to been very hard to cope with a loss of a parent and then to lose all the support you have.[father and friends].. I can only say "hang in there" though it may not be easy! I never try to seem as though i have the answer to all problems but i know someone who does~ our heavenly father Jehovah God, through his written pages he gives us wise direction, and since Tracy you're having it hard being without your father try applying what the scriptures says “Let the sun not set with you in a provoked state.” (Ephesians 4:26) So you will make every attempt to reach your father hoping to make peace, after lossing your mother you only have each other. If you have a Bible it would be good to read these scriptures (John 5:28; Acts 24:15) to find comfort to cope with the loss of your mother, I too loss my mother (September 2006) and as she was dying I read this scripture to her having faith that she heard me [since your hearing is the last to go] this has become one of my favorite scriptures since; John 11:25 Jesus wants us to believe that he is the resurrection, he gives us hope [and when hope is builded upon] we gain faith! I have faith that I WILL see my mother again [she died having this faith] and that same faith can be yours also Tracy. Take comfort in this promise of the resurrection hope.

Permalink Reply by Starr on January 5, 2010 at 8:11pm

I lost both of my parent in 2006. My father in March and my Mother 10 days before my birthday in December. I havent grieved in 3 years. And now i cant even function around people. I am on medical leave because i have a hard time dealing with everyday life. I feel lost and i dont know how to deal with not having them around. I just turned 37 years old a couple of weeks ago. And a lot of my friends dont understand what i am going through and think I should just get on with things. I dont know what to say to make them understand. I am stuck. I have a 15 year old son who is my reason for everything and i take very good care of. But leaving my house is a struggle every day. Doing normal things is a struggle for me. I feel alone and lost. I have a strong faith in GOD. But dealing with this on my own is not the easiest thing I have ever had to do.

Permalink Reply by white dove on January 5, 2010 at 9:32pm

Dear Starr, you have come to the right place! We have all faced loss at different and same times. And in reading about those who have lost a beloved, i can reflect on the days that were so foggy back then for me. Shock is more the appropriate word! And it may just be coming to you now.. I was actually told by a Medical organization that they won't even see someone that is grieving (for counseling) for at least a month after their loss...because of their shock factor, well, my question to him was: "Then what in the heck do we do while we are totally unfunctional and half out of our minds.. isn't this when we need someone most"??? I then proceded to search for a different facility with much more understanding grief counselors. Found one who came all the way into our small town just for us!! in comparison to a group session. So dear, say what ever u want to here. We don't judge and we have ALL been in your shoes and many of us still are but have found some avenues including this one to just sound it out. God Bless You during this terrible time.

Starr said:

I lost both of my parent in 2006. My father in March and my Mother 10 days before my birthday in December. I havent grieved in 3 years. And now i cant even function around people. I am on medical leave because i have a hard time dealing with everyday life. I feel lost and i dont know how to deal with not having them around. I just turned 37 years old a couple of weeks ago. And a lot of my friends dont understand what i am going through and think I should just get on with things. I dont know what to say to make them understand. I am stuck. I have a 15 year old son who is my reason for everything and i take very good care of. But leaving my house is a struggle every day. Doing normal things is a struggle for me. I feel alone and lost. I have a strong faith in GOD. But dealing with this on my own is not the easiest thing I have ever had to do.

Permalink Reply by shanta on January 6, 2010 at 8:40pm

i lost my mom dec,13,2009 thats the day my life ended i don't know how to go on withmy mom,me and my mom did everything togather i was with my mom every single day i did'nt do anything without my mom,now she's gone i don't know what to do.my mom had lung cancer since 2002 my mom had been doing so good until about july 2009,it makes me so mad that i prayed for so many years for my mom to pull thru this,an she did'nt.i just feel so sorry for my mom,we had been going back and forth to the hospital for my dad he was in a coma for 2or 3 weeks and they said he was not going to make it,they told my mom to call all the kids up there to say there goodbyes.they wanted my mom to pull the plug on my dad,but she said no she not giving up on him,my mom started having a hard breathing so i took her to the er in july, they said she had fluid behind her heart,they drained it, they tested it to see if it was the cancer that was making the fluid come,and it was cancer cells in the fluid,my mom got to go home days later,my dad came home,a couple day later my mom had to go back to the hospital, my mom was geting sicker,but she would hide alot of the pain she was in.when my mom was in the hospital,they said she would have to go on the vent to help her breathe,a couple days later they said they was trying to see if it was the cancer that was couseing all the sickness,they said it was and that she was not going to make it but i still had hope,my some passed away dec,13,2009,i went carzy crying when they came out and said her heart stoped,i felt so nomb,they kick me and my sisters out the hospital (osu)because we were crying to loud,so we did not get to see my mom for the last time,we ask them please just let us see my mom one more time,they said see her at the funeral.i think they were the most coldhearted pepole in the world,for them to take that moment from us...............

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