Missing Mom

Grief support for all who have lost moms

Losing your mother can be traumatic at any age. Share your grief and talk with others who are coping with the loss of their mothers.

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Permalink Reply by Peggy on January 16, 2010 at 8:15pm

I lost my mom on Christmas day in 2008 and today we had a memorial for my cousin. In September we lost my moms sister. This passed year just seems to bring the worst of all worst.. today brought back all the passed and it seemed is was just filled with losing someone special to me.
I had spent the last 7 months with my mom before she passed and I guess I had a false hope that she was going to get better. She has a fall when her screen door knocked her down from the wind blowing and she just never really recovered from the fall.
She went from being lively and loving and independant and to not being able to even walk but she still had her great mind and wit about her.
I know it has been a year since we lost her but after today it only seems like today. I just can get the pain to go away from the memories of her not having the life she had and not being her. When you lose you mom you really lose a lot.
I know growing up you have your ups and downs but there is nothing like have a best friend in you mom when you get older( I am 55).She really seem to have a good insite into what life is all about and she always was there cheering me on no matter what I was doing in my life. Being going back to school,working in a mans field( I am an electrican) or just doing crazy and fun things, like raising chichens and loving them.. but now I don't have that and it seems so empty.
I am married but didn't have any children so it is just me and my husband but he isn't same as having my mom here. I know that as time goes on I will feel better but when is that going to happen.The pain just won't go away. My heart just breaks for her friendship. I got home today from the memorial for my cousin and wanting to talk to her but remembered that she to has gone to our Lords house.
For everyone out there love and cherish each and every moment you have with your loved ones because you just never know when they will not be here to have you hold them and tell them you love them...when they are gone it is too late to let them know.. Do it now.. tell them how much they mean to you.
Thanks for listening..

Permalink Reply by amaryllis on January 16, 2010 at 8:52pm

Peggy, after reading your words regarding the loss of your mom - i send to you a prayer-thought and a hug because i know what you mean.
Love. Blessings

michelle said:

michelle said:I lost my mother just 1 month ago and I still don't know what to do. I feel so empty. We were so close, shared everyting. I am an only child and have just one child myself. My mother was my "'go to" person. What do I do with out her . How long do you just feel numb and go through the motions. I know I am probably not making alot of sense, however my thoughts are not well organized(for lack of a better word).
Lori Sue Bowser said:
I lost my Mom on Saturday May 2nd.I am devastated.What do I do????
Dana said:
I lost my mom November 1st, 2008. She had emphseyma, and her death was expected...but it still has been so very hard. I was her caretaker for as long as I can remember. She never drove..so any Dr appts, or groc store needs or anything.it was always me. And I know I didnt appreciate it as I should have. I have a journal that I wrote in every day after she passed, it did truly help with my grief. We are believers in Jesus Christ and I know where she is now, and that she is happy and whole, and so much better. But oh what I wouldnt give to have to go to the store for her again..or get on the phone and talk about silly mindless things that at the moment I thought I just didnt have time for. I still have her suitcase, with the things she brought over from her last visit, as if she has never left. Her tennis shoes on top of the suitcase, with her clothes neatly packed. I just can not bring myself to throw them out. I know I need to, but its like my last connection to her. I still have a voicemail that she left me while she was still in the hospital. Im heartbroken my mom is gone, but I will see her again and thats my comfort. OH, but do I miss her. I miss talking with her, I miss praying with her, I miss seeing her. I just miss her. thanks for taking the time to read this, and if you still have your mom, call her, go see her, HUG her and tell her you love her!

Permalink Reply by white dove on January 18, 2010 at 12:47pm

I am coming up on my mom's Birthday soon and i would like everyone here to know, there is no shame in seeking out some help. That is if needed. I almost immediately sought out grievence counseling. Searched until i found the perfect one to talk to. Now as my grief and past traumatic experiences have moved into other areas, i am once again going to find a counselor for this. I may be Blessed with many signs from my mom, and with the gift of gab, but deep down inside, im still dysfunctional. It was 9 months on the 30th that my mom passed, and now i feel i need more guidance. Has anyone else felt this way? Thank You and Prayers are said nightly for all of us here.

amaryllis said:

Peggy, after reading your words regarding the loss of your mom - i send to you a prayer-thought and a hug because i know what you mean.
Love. Blessings

michelle said:
michelle said:I lost my mother just 1 month ago and I still don't know what to do. I feel so empty. We were so close, shared everyting. I am an only child and have just one child myself. My mother was my "'go to" person. What do I do with out her . How long do you just feel numb and go through the motions. I know I am probably not making alot of sense, however my thoughts are not well organized(for lack of a better word).
Lori Sue Bowser said:
I lost my Mom on Saturday May 2nd.I am devastated.What do I do????
Dana said:
I lost my mom November 1st, 2008. She had emphseyma, and her death was expected...but it still has been so very hard. I was her caretaker for as long as I can remember. She never drove..so any Dr appts, or groc store needs or anything.it was always me. And I know I didnt appreciate it as I should have. I have a journal that I wrote in every day after she passed, it did truly help with my grief. We are believers in Jesus Christ and I know where she is now, and that she is happy and whole, and so much better. But oh what I wouldnt give to have to go to the store for her again..or get on the phone and talk about silly mindless things that at the moment I thought I just didnt have time for. I still have her suitcase, with the things she brought over from her last visit, as if she has never left. Her tennis shoes on top of the suitcase, with her clothes neatly packed. I just can not bring myself to throw them out. I know I need to, but its like my last connection to her. I still have a voicemail that she left me while she was still in the hospital. Im heartbroken my mom is gone, but I will see her again and thats my comfort. OH, but do I miss her. I miss talking with her, I miss praying with her, I miss seeing her. I just miss her. thanks for taking the time to read this, and if you still have your mom, call her, go see her, HUG her and tell her you love her!

Permalink Reply by amaryllis on January 18, 2010 at 1:48pm

Hi, i know so much what you mean, (white dove), about the progression of your feelings on the loss of your dear mom - hope and pray you find a place, a guide, a website where we get to know how to deal with those difficult feelings, state of mind and spirit, how to reach a plateau, etc , etc.
well, my sweet and dear friend (white dove), myself i was blessed to find this right place, at the right moment - hopefully it worked for me and this was the way i could keep my sanity regarding the losses i went through and it was a help for my life as well.
every night i make a prayer-thought to all who suffer the loss of loved ones and you dear (white dove), you are in my prayers in a very special way as since last year i have been reading your comments and we ex-change replies.
God bless you, my friend.
xx

Permalink Reply by white dove on January 18, 2010 at 1:58pm

Dear Amaryllis, Thank you so much for your prayers and such kind words. Hugs and prayers said for you too! You truly are an earth Angel. You make me sigh with all good feelings :) Thank u again...

amaryllis said:

Hi, i know so much what you mean, (white dove), about the progression of your feelings on the loss of your dear mom - hope and pray you find a place, a guide, a website where we get to know how to deal with those difficult feelings, state of mind and spirit, how to reach a plateau, etc , etc.
well, my sweet and dear friend (white dove), myself i was blessed to find this right place, at the right moment - hopefully it worked for me and this was the way i could keep my sanity regarding the losses i went through and it was a help for my life as well.
every night i make a prayer-thought to all who suffer the loss of loved ones and you dear (white dove), you are in my prayers in a very special way as since last year i have been reading your comments and we ex-change replies.
God bless you, my friend.
xx

Permalink Reply by white dove on January 18, 2010 at 2:42pm

I understand what you are saying. After losing my mom, and yes we all seem to have had some ups and downs in life together.. i view my ill father differently. And if i can forgive him, well all can be forgiven! I do call and tell him i love him. One never knows when will be the last time we speak these words, to our parents or any loved one! so many fun, good times come up in one's memory AFTER they leave us... why cant' we bring them forward now, while they are still with us? I am learning much.

Peggy said:

I lost my mom on Christmas day in 2008 and today we had a memorial for my cousin. In September we lost my moms sister. This passed year just seems to bring the worst of all worst.. today brought back all the passed and it seemed is was just filled with losing someone special to me.
I had spent the last 7 months with my mom before she passed and I guess I had a false hope that she was going to get better. She has a fall when her screen door knocked her down from the wind blowing and she just never really recovered from the fall.
She went from being lively and loving and independant and to not being able to even walk but she still had her great mind and wit about her.
I know it has been a year since we lost her but after today it only seems like today. I just can get the pain to go away from the memories of her not having the life she had and not being her. When you lose you mom you really lose a lot.
I know growing up you have your ups and downs but there is nothing like have a best friend in you mom when you get older( I am 55).She really seem to have a good insite into what life is all about and she always was there cheering me on no matter what I was doing in my life. Being going back to school,working in a mans field( I am an electrican) or just doing crazy and fun things, like raising chichens and loving them.. but now I don't have that and it seems so empty.
I am married but didn't have any children so it is just me and my husband but he isn't same as having my mom here. I know that as time goes on I will feel better but when is that going to happen.The pain just won't go away. My heart just breaks for her friendship. I got home today from the memorial for my cousin and wanting to talk to her but remembered that she to has gone to our Lords house.
For everyone out there love and cherish each and every moment you have with your loved ones because you just never know when they will not be here to have you hold them and tell them you love them...when they are gone it is too late to let them know.. Do it now.. tell them how much they mean to you.
Thanks for listening..

Permalink Reply by white dove on January 20, 2010 at 7:45am

Dear one, may i ask if you were ever offered grievance counseling? I am not insured and i was able to find different organizations that do help us! I have felt "stuck" like as in a skip in a record, and recognized i need more help. Please make some calls and at least find a group or therapist that specializes in our area. May God always be right over your shoulder.

samantha san filippo said:

I lost my mother who was my everything on August 26 2007, right before my senior year started. I was 18 when she dead to breast cancer. I'm 20 not soon to be 21 and sometimes i cant deal with how much i miss her, i dont know what to do with myself anymore i'm so depressed. Its hard not to see my life with her not being in it. I'm in college now but the more i'm there the more i hate it and everyone im starting to hate my boyfriend friends and my sorority i just dont know what to do with myself. I just want to always be alone. I miss her so much she was all i ever had, my father was never around and now me and him are a bit closer, but he is not supported at all and doesnt ever ask how im doing or if i need anything. I'm so depressed and alone and miss my best friend, she was the nicest person anyone knew. Please i need advice cause at this point i dont know what to do

Permalink Reply by Lori on January 20, 2010 at 9:42am

Dear Samantha,

Along the lines of what white dove said, have you gotten grief counseling? I too lost my mom to breast cancer on November 1st and she was in a hospice for 2 days. They offered my family free grief counseling for a year. I have been there 2 times already and go back tomorrow. It is really helping me. I have been where you are and completly understand. You are in school so there should be some counseling that you can get at health services, from what I remember when I went to school. If you want to talk email me tchse@aol.com My thoughts are with you

(white dove) said:

Dear one, may i ask if you were ever offered grievance counseling? I am not insured and i was able to find different organizations that do help us! I have felt "stuck" like as in a skip in a record, and recognized i need more help. Please make some calls and at least find a group or therapist that specializes in our area. May God always be right over your shoulder.

samantha san filippo said:
I lost my mother who was my everything on August 26 2007, right before my senior year started. I was 18 when she dead to breast cancer. I'm 20 not soon to be 21 and sometimes i cant deal with how much i miss her, i dont know what to do with myself anymore i'm so depressed. Its hard not to see my life with her not being in it. I'm in college now but the more i'm there the more i hate it and everyone im starting to hate my boyfriend friends and my sorority i just dont know what to do with myself. I just want to always be alone. I miss her so much she was all i ever had, my father was never around and now me and him are a bit closer, but he is not supported at all and doesnt ever ask how im doing or if i need anything. I'm so depressed and alone and miss my best friend, she was the nicest person anyone knew. Please i need advice cause at this point i dont know what to do

Permalink Reply by Lori on January 22, 2010 at 9:53am

Hi Everyone,

My dad went to see a show called Capital Steps. The tickets were bought before mom passed. This was something that they did with 2 other couples. I've known these couples since I was a baby. I asked my dad last night how Barbara was. She also survived breast cancer and it has come back. He told me that she had to have a blood transfusion the other day. It is exactly the same thing that ma went through before she got really bad and then passed away. We all know what is going to happen. I can't believe I have to watch another person close to me go through the same exact thing. Especially so soon after mom. Is someone punishing me. The Fourth of July is never going to be the same again.

How am I going to get through all this??? These are two of the most sweetest and wonderful women who didn't deserve this.

Permalink Reply by white dove on January 22, 2010 at 10:40am

Dear Lori, I feel empathy for you and your news, BUT everyone is different and you need to feel this in your heart. I worked in oncology and saw many who were right at the "edge" of life, be healed and come back! The best that I can do is take one day at a time and not try to jump into what if's.... our dear friend knew his time here was limited and he lived life every single day as if it was his last. His tranfusions after Chemo truly helped but his liver was the culprit. So please don't give up on miracles. I know it is very difficult, as more and more comes our way during our time of grief, and i also know the feelings you are having.. my dad "threatend" to leave shortly after my mom passed, but he sprung back to be the ornery cuss he used to be. :-O ;) Many Blessings to all of us today!

Lori said:

Hi Everyone,

My dad went to see a show called Capital Steps. The tickets were bought before mom passed. This was something that they did with 2 other couples. I've known these couples since I was a baby. I asked my dad last night how Barbara was. She also survived breast cancer and it has come back. He told me that she had to have a blood transfusion the other day. It is exactly the same thing that ma went through before she got really bad and then passed away. We all know what is going to happen. I can't believe I have to watch another person close to me go through the same exact thing. Especially so soon after mom. Is someone punishing me. The Fourth of July is never going to be the same again.

How am I going to get through all this??? These are two of the most sweetest and wonderful women who didn't deserve this.

Permalink Reply by amaryllis on January 22, 2010 at 12:18pm

Lori, i am sorry for this hard and sad moment you are going through so close in time to the loss of your mom. you are prepared for what will happen to this special family friend, you will have the strenght, you will. God bless you, Lori

Lori said:

Hi Everyone,

My dad went to see a show called Capital Steps. The tickets were bought before mom passed. This was something that they did with 2 other couples. I've known these couples since I was a baby. I asked my dad last night how Barbara was. She also survived breast cancer and it has come back. He told me that she had to have a blood transfusion the other day. It is exactly the same thing that ma went through before she got really bad and then passed away. We all know what is going to happen. I can't believe I have to watch another person close to me go through the same exact thing. Especially so soon after mom. Is someone punishing me. The Fourth of July is never going to be the same again.

How am I going to get through all this??? These are two of the most sweetest and wonderful women who didn't deserve this.

Permalink Reply by Rebecca on January 22, 2010 at 7:18pm

Hello My Mother passed two weeks ago. I am having so many mixed emotions i do not know how to deal with this. I feel like it is a dream and none of this is real. I havent really and truely broke down yet. I do not know if or when it will hit me. My mother lived in Alabama and I live in nc I went home on a friday and she died on saturday with all six of her children by her side we was all she had and she taught us how to be strong. Do you think I have a problem. I have ask god to give me some answers nothing yet. I know when you leave this old earth i heard it is like a big family reuion. I know she had someone waiting for her on the other side and she isnt suffering anymore. Dose anyone have any answers for me. I have dealt with death before but not some one as close as my mother. Thank you Rebecca