Hello all, and I hope you'll forgive this interruption; I don't mean to intrude.
I'm working on a book proposal about grief and loss, and am just now collecting stories and experiences of those who've suffered the death of someone close to them. If you'd be willing to offer your own voice, or open to being interviewed about your mother, I would be deeply grateful. I promise complete confidentiality.
You can email me at email@example.com for more. (And if you've seen this elsewhere on the forums, I do apologize. I just hope to get as many voices and experiences as possible, and I wasn't sure where to begin.)
Thank you, each and all, so very much, and I hope you'll write. I would be honored to include you.
I lost my mother almost 10 years ago...
(It amazes me that it has been that long.)
My mother was diagnosed with Lupus, shortly after I was born and in March '00, she died from complications stemming from an experimental treatment. She passed away two months before I graduated from high school...
To this day, talking about her brings tears to my eyes. She was my best friend and one of the most wonderful people I've ever known.
I don't talk about her death or my continued grief...
(I keep things to myself and I don't like to be vulnerable.)
I think it has also taken me this long, to finally want to find a place to talk about the grief.
I also lost my father to non Hodgkin's lymphoma two years after the passing of my mother. (Almost two years exactly.)
I am an only child, so it has been very difficult...
Thankfully, I do have a wonderful husband that has always been there for me.
I can really relate to EVERYTHING you wrote. Some days are harder than others. I think it is great that you are in grief counseling. It just takes time for the pain to subside. Having lost both parents in so short a time makes it doubly difficult. When I lost my mom, my children realized that if my mother could die, so could theirs. It has made us even closer than before. They have been so supportive and they are grieving right alongside me. Not wanting them to suffer the same way has made me have conversations with them about what to do when I die. I am their only remaining parent so they will have to take care of everything. I have a will but I also wrote out EXACTLY what they will need to do. I went over it with them and put the paper in a place they will be able to access it. For Mother's Day my daughter bought a frame that holds three pictures and put in pictures of my mom, me and her. It is a lovely tribute to my mom and her legacy.
Kathy Ledford said:I lost my mother in August of 2008. This was the first Mother's Day without her and I had a very hard time. I cried all day and when I went to the cemetary to take her flowers it just broke my heart. I also put a note on a balloon and released it at the graveside. Now June is coming up and Father's Day. I lost my dad 43 days after my mom. I just pray that this time of year will be easier to cope with as time passes. I just wanted to see her and talk to her and hug her and tell her how much I love and miss her. That is what I did in my note that I sent up with the balloon. I don't think I have ever felt such heartache and grief. I don't know if I will ever be able to get over this. I know life has to go on but it hurts so much. I am going to grief counseling and it is helping some but there are just days that it is almost unbearable. There is no love like a mother's love and when that is gone it really does have an effect on everything in your life. I pray for God to give me the peace in my heart that I can go on with my life.. I have my children and grandchildren and it breaks my heart to know that one day they will have to suffer this pain. Please pray for me that I can grow to accept this loss and maybe if I can help someone else who has lost their mom or dad, that would help me deal with my loss.
Mom left me on Feb. 2nd, 2010. The Alzheimers had slowly been taking her piece by piece so there was plenty of time to say goodbye and learn to accept the inevitable but it didn't happen that way. When she stopped breathing I couldn't believe she was really gone. Everyone keeps saying that atleast she isn't suffering anymore and I know I should find some peace in that but I want her back so bad. I know that is selfish but I would give anything to have more time to hold her and tell her how much I love and need her. She is now just part of my past, a memory, and there is nothing I can do to change that. Her funeral is this Saturday and it is such an unbearable thought that I will have to say goodbye and walk away, then go on with my life. I am not sure that I know how to do that.