I to can relate as I lost my mom/bestfriend alomg with my job, and my house al win 1 wek. To say the least, family friends are sympathetic, however, don't understand the huge whole in my heart and I didn't know where to begin, what to do .wel, you get the picture. To top it of the life ins. co. denied us my mothers life ins .for some cockamania reason. My brother is hot and cold, overal doesn't get the special bomd we had. I was her caretaker as wel, and from my brothers prospectve, he thinks we sat home and ate bon bons 24/7! Infuriates me. Althought I would do it again in a heartbeat, as it was the toughest job I'll ever love. He thinks it was so easy. (He lives 2 blocks away has 2 able children and a wife who's a nurse. Not once in 4 years did they ofer me a break, offer to cok diner. BUT did ofer to expres how the house was a mess, nothing to eat, laundry needed to be done and then went there merry way. His 5-10 min. visit each day was his offering of help! I love him dearly, .Now, he is insinuating that when we sell the house(which, I was responsible ,acording to him to pay 70 morgae monthly along w/ al the bils as long as I was living there on an unemployment salary.I was forced to move out on my birthday w/o warnig and had to grab what I could so they could start to sel everything.in order to get the house ready for seling. ! Are people, siblings that insensitive? He was not brought up that way! However, I'm so scared to rock the boat,as my brother has a temper, that I wil loose the only family.that I have left.I'm babling and apologize.But please know yu are notlone and I wil kep you and al of us in this boat close to my heart and in my prayers. thanks for listening.
k the $ that was charged for Extra cleaning, and my Mom's credit cards is coming out of my half as MY mother was "Never in debt until I moved bak in w/ her" The fact of the mater is my mom could no longer work, I at the time lost my job (before losing the last one) and Ofice for the aging recomended she stop paying on them,hence the large debt! My mother was an acount an impecable regarding her bils. I am hurt, insulted and get the impresion he thinks I was "taking a fre ride" when I was working my @#%! of 24/7! OH I'm so angry I forgot my point.lolSorry!
I am so sorry to learn of your multiple losses. Its possible that the move happened too soon for your father, who is also mourning your mother. I lost my mother at the end of January, so I can relate to the depths of your grief. However one bit of advice I received as I continue to adjust to the shock of it all was "Make no major decisions for at least a year - for everything will be clouded by your grief." This would apply to the move your father made...however this is now done and may not be easily reversed. There is also something I have observed when friends have had to make a decision to move their parents into other senior's accommodations...it seems that for at least about 6 weeks the parents resent the person who made that decision for them. After all, our parents will always want to be the ones who make the decisions and they must find it very difficult to have someone acting on their behalf. It is important tho' that you try to mend this rift with your father if only by showing up and telling him that you still love him, he will always be your father and you still want him in your life. Do not let this fester. You need each other and the stress of the loss, etc could take a toll on his health too.
My dear mother passed when I was not ready to let her go; although she did her best to warn me with comments such as "At my age you have to expect anything" and "what will be will be". I think she knew how hard it would be for me to lose her but I had somehow expected there might be a period of palliative care, a warning of some sort. Instead her heart simply stopped in her sleep so there was no chance to say goodbye. However, with every visit and every phone call we always concluded our time together by saying "I love you".
My problem is that as I try to cope with this loss, a man I had believed to be my closest friend, simply abandoned me when I needed his support. In fact in the depths of my grief he chose to end our friendship so I am essentially mourning the loss of too important people. I have never known such pain.
I lost my mom on November 11, 2009. I had a routine that every night I would call my mother and father to make sure that they were doing okay and November 10, 2009, was no different. I talked with my mom for some time and I can remember her telling me that "she wasn't going to make it to the next holiday". I didn't think very much of this since she had been saying that for years or something like it. I told her I loved her and hung up. When I was at work the following morning, my cell phone rang and it was my dad telling me that they were rushing my mother to the hospital in cardiac arrest. I was in disbelief and couldn't believe my ears. When we got to the hospital the chaplin met us at the door to the emergency room. She had just passed... unexpectedly. She had just been given a clean bill of health from all her doctors and specialists. It was a freak of nature or so it seemed.
My husband and I have been staying with my father since and I am so afraid that I'm going to lose him and I'm frightened to actually move back to my own home. I understand that my dad has his life to live and I also have my life to live but I am having a hard time letting go.It doesn't help that my mother is buried in Cincinnati and I live in the northern part of Indiana. I find myself visiting the graveyard every time I visit my old hometown. I feel lost without my mother physically here to help guide me and I don't know how to pull myself out of this slump of depression.
A part of me has disappeared and I want it back! How can I find my way to trust my father will not leave this earth without 1, me telling him I love him before hand and 2, me being there to guide him or help him.
I feel alone even though there are many people around me that care. How long will this go on and more importantly, how can I stop it? I miss my mother! She was my best friend and I could talk to her about anything.
We found out my Mom had lung cancer at the end of July 2009. She was gone in September 2009. She never even got an "official diagnosis". She underwent two biopsies (they didn't get enough tissue the first time). She went into the hospital for the second biopsy and never came home. I feel like I am still in shock. Even though almost 9 months have gone by, it seems like it was just yesterday. The holidays were hard. I had my 40th Birthday in March and that day was hard. My brother just got his MBA and that day was hard. Those were two important days I know my Mom would've been proud of and they just weren't the same without her there to share them with us.
My husband and I have been married for almost 18 years-he has been caring and supportive but he doesn't understand. My BFF of 25 years has chosen these last several months to "not" be here for me. My Dad gives me the most comfort. Even at "40", I am still a Daddy's girl. My brother knows the sadness I feel. My in-laws, who are always happy and positive, seem to have forgotten. It is hard for me to be around them. They ask my husband how I am doing, but they rarely ask me. I miss my Mom and I think about her everyday. I want my Mommy back. I want to sit in her lap and fall asleep to the softness of her voice and her arms around me, like I used to. There is nothing like it!
my Mother just passed away last Wed. May 19th. at 7:27 PM 2010. She left to go live the lord and I miss her so much. She die in my arms and I was the only one there as My other family members couldn't take watching her go with NO life support. I don't know when I'll feel better but I'm trying this. If anyone can help me with the pain in my heart please contact me. I actually asked her to take me with her. But she did'nt I hope someone can answer me cause I feel so alone and sick. what do I do Next? I'll even share my phone # if someone wants to talk to me. Please Help! Jan Lindsay
My mother died unexpectedly due to an overdose of Phenobarbitol (siezure meds). She didn't have that particular condition, but for some reason it was prescribed to her. She had been lying in bed all day, gurgling, struggling to breathe while my stepfather continued to drink beer and watch the NASCAR races. My sister, who lives with them told him several times that we need to call an ambulance. He kept refusing. My mom has had a pill problem for as long as I can remember, but this time was different. About 9:00 that evening she asked for assistance to the restroom, and at 9:15, my sister had found her with no pulse. It was only then my stepdad decided to call the ambulance.
At the time the ambulance were on their way, my sister called me at work. I drove about 80 the entire time. I wasn't talking to my mom at the time. I was mad at her for getting beat up by my stepdad for the upteenth time and not reporting it. I have been the rock of my family, the shoulder for everyone to cry on. Even though I'm 30 years old, I want my Mommy. I don't know how to grieve because I have been taking care of everyone else's grief.
Please help with a response. I need all the help I can get.