Grief support for all who have lost moms

Losing your mother can be traumatic at any age. Share your grief and talk with others who are coping with the loss of their mothers.

 

 

 

 

 

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Mom passed 2/10/2010 with CHF..I was holding her as she took her last breathe, just as she held me when I took my first breathe. What a wonderful miracle to have this beautiful woman for the full 65 years of my life, even tho I did not realize what a truly grand lady she was until 15+ years ago. I saw her face true adversity thru her life and heard her stories of courage and faith. She left me with a legacy that I hope I can carry. As she would say to me when I was in such a dary night of my soul- cry, take a nap, take a walk and ask God for strength to get thru it...not necessarily in that order. Always worked for me and will continue to work for me as long as I recognize what I need to do to take care of myself thru the dark times. This indeed is a dark time. I know now how she must have felt since the age of 10 when her own mother died...losing mom is a big lose, but I have only lost her physical presents, her spirit is with me always and for that I am blessed.
My prayers are with all of you who have lost mom. Finding this site assures me that once again I am not alone. The struggle for peace is easier when I know there are others on the same journey.
Blessings to all for a peaceful 24hours.
God's Blessings to you today Linda. Thank you for your words of encouragement. You have brought up many very good points. Our one year date is approaching soon and this year has been a roller coaster spent in shock and grief. The thought of us being with our mom's as they drew their last breath, as they were there with us when we took in our first is very enlightning. My mom stayed here a bit (i now feel it is because i was next to her bed holding her hand during the coma)... shows me the bond we had all along and didn't realize it. I was a difficult birth (3 days and nights being stuck) and her jouney home sure wasn't easy either. When i feel at my worst i feel my mom's hand on my shoulder.
Telling me as she always did, "it will be alright". I love you mom!

linda churchill said:
Mom passed 2/10/2010 with CHF..I was holding her as she took her last breathe, just as she held me when I took my first breathe. What a wonderful miracle to have this beautiful woman for the full 65 years of my life, even tho I did not realize what a truly grand lady she was until 15+ years ago. I saw her face true adversity thru her life and heard her stories of courage and faith. She left me with a legacy that I hope I can carry. As she would say to me when I was in such a dary night of my soul- cry, take a nap, take a walk and ask God for strength to get thru it...not necessarily in that order. Always worked for me and will continue to work for me as long as I recognize what I need to do to take care of myself thru the dark times. This indeed is a dark time. I know now how she must have felt since the age of 10 when her own mother died...losing mom is a big lose, but I have only lost her physical presents, her spirit is with me always and for that I am blessed.
My prayers are with all of you who have lost mom. Finding this site assures me that once again I am not alone. The struggle for peace is easier when I know there are others on the same journey.
Blessings to all for a peaceful 24hours.
i lost my mom a week ago. After my step dad died 4 years ago she moved closer to me. We were living right accross from each other in an apt. complex and saw each other pretty much every day.We became very close.She had a major heart attack Jan2,2010. My husband and I took her in to the ER.Within 30 min.they had her in surgery.She had 2 arteries 100% clogged 1 98%.She was in ICU when her lungs started filling up with fluid and was placed on life support.She had many complications diabetes,high blood pressure,bleeding ulcer in stomach due to the blood thinners they had to administer after the surgery.It was one thing after another.She was on life support for a month when the doctors were at the point of having me make a decision to tke her off.I told them to give her more time,shes a slw healer due to diabetes.she pulled out of it the next day and was sent to a long term citical care hopital.They weaned her off the ventilator and took the trach out after a months time.She was getting better.Then one morning i recieved a call and her heart had stopped.They transferred her back to the hospital and was placed back on life support.Then the found cancer in her lung.The doctor told me she would never be off life supportor get out of bed.At that point my brother flew out and we had to take her off life support.She made it very clear she did not want it anymore.I miss my mom so much and feel it hasnt really hit me yet after a week.WHEN IS IT REALLY GOING TO HIT ME?
TAMMIE said:
i lost my mom a week ago. After my step dad died 4 years ago she moved closer to me. We were living right accross from each other in an apt. complex and saw each other pretty much every day.We became very close.She had a major heart attack Jan2,2010. My husband and I took her in to the ER.Within 30 min.they had her in surgery.She had 2 arteries 100% clogged 1 98%.She was in ICU when her lungs started filling up with fluid and was placed on life support.She had many complications diabetes,high blood pressure,bleeding ulcer in stomach due to the blood thinners they had to administer after the surgery.It was one thing after another.She was on life support for a month when the doctors were at the point of having me make a decision to tke her off.I told them to give her more time,shes a slw healer due to diabetes.she pulled out of it the next day and was sent to a long term citical care hopital.They weaned her off the ventilator and took the trach out after a months time.She was getting better.Then one morning i recieved a call and her heart had stopped.They transferred her back to the hospital and was placed back on life support.Then the found cancer in her lung.The doctor told me she would never be off life supportor get out of bed.At that point my brother flew out and we had to take her off life support.She made it very clear she did not want it anymore.I miss my mom so much and feel it hasnt really hit me yet after a week.WHEN IS IT REALLY GOING TO HIT ME?
I sat here to write about wishing I could have a "do-over", about how angry I was with the doctors, some family members... myself.
Then I read your post, and thought how useless those words would be.
It has been 4 months for me, and Tammie, it will hit you when you least expect it. In line at Wal-Mart. During her favorite hymn that suddenly popped into your head. It will hit you over and over again - at least it does me.
My mother's favorite saying was "It'll be alright." and she believed it. She truly loved being alive, enjoyed every little thing about it. She kept her life simple, taking joy in the happiness of others. Sounds too poetic to be true, but it really is.
Mom passed away Nov 14, 2009. It seems like last week or a whole lifetime ago - I'm not sure which. I had no idea I thought of her so many times a day. I guess when someone is still alive and you think of them, they rush in and out of your mind so fast you barely notice. Then, when they are gone, you think of them and stop dead in your tracks. That's when I realized that I think of my mom MANY times a day. I feel her all around me, which is a comfort. Some dear friends gave me a huge wind chimes when mom passed, they couldn't have touched me more. Every time the slightest breeze blows, I can hear them wherever I am, inside my house or anywhere in my yard, and it is like mom just smiled and said "Hi". I notice now family members using a word or phrase that she used to use, and I smile. I try to smile whenever I think of her. She was so happy, always smiling, always consoling, always encouraging. My heart aches and my face could just explode with holding back tears, but I smile - for her - 'coz she is watching.
i lost my mom 17 days ago she ment so much to me she was really young and im only 20 it was it was a all to sudden thing she was never sick or anything..i cnt think of being with out her i think about her from when i get up to when i go to be then it starts the next day..i just look at her pics all day trying to rember the good times we had.i have alot of regrets to just wish i could of been home with her more and helped her when she needed me more wish i knew what happend from when she got up and a couple of hours when she passed away.i just hope she knows even tho i was not there that much that i loved her so much and would do anything for her..i love her so much..rip mom..5/18/1953-2/23/2010
i feel your main to i lost my mom 17 days ago and dont know how i will every be without her her death was so sudden i miss her so much,,

kimberley said:
I lost my mother almost a year ago 4/15/09 and I as well am NOT okay ...I cry every night or almost and once a week it is unbearable! I am 41 years old and I cant do anything because I miss her so much, I was an only child maybe that has something to do with it...my Mom was everything to me, I went thru this alone.
I cant sleep ever..I keep walking around my house talking to her asking her why she left me alone, she told me she will always be with me but, she is not, I do not feel her around me. I am starting to get angry and loose my faith in GOD. I dont know when this will ever get any better...I just want to be with her...It is hard to talk to family because they seem to "not want to talk about it" and no matter how much people want to try to understand they cant until such a loss happens to them. I am in agony!

kimberley said:
Felicia said:
Rose:
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I know the pain you feel, and I could feel it in your words. I'm so very sorry. My mother had pancreatic cancer, and she passed away as a result of it in July of last year. She was only 63. It hurts really bad. I still cry, and our bond was so strong, I just miss her everyday. How can you feel when someone so important who's been a part of your life, and there for you for ALL of your life is suddenly gone? Please just take time to feel anyway that you need to feel for as long as you need to feel that way. The only things that have been making me feel better so far is talking about it and crying. The weight of the pain is still incredilby overwhelming. We're mourning a lot. We've lost our mothers, and inside of that, we've lost in most cases a friend, a listener, an advice giver, someone who has our best interests in heart, and so much more. Let me know if you ever need to talk. (Hugs, love, and strength to you)

Rose said:
Hi there, I am having a very hard time coping with losing my mother lately. I lost her on Jan. 7th 2010. She was only 58 yrs old...I have many questions on why she passed away on top of my grief. She had brain and lung cancer and had just gotten off her last bit of brain radiation she could have. She wanted to keep taking chemo for her lungs. But the doctor told her he didn't see much point if it didn't help her brain. I found that disturbing really. But it's not only that there are questions about how much medication she was given by my father the night she passed. My mother was not bed ridden she was 100% with it. And I still find it so hard to buy that she just passed like she did so quickly. So, I am dealing with all of that on top of losing her. I just wish I could have been there for her more. I was stuck in my state (5 hours away from her), due to my child custody order. So, I was unable to be with her as much as I would like. And I really believe sometime if I had been there to take care of her instead of my father she would have been better off. I just feel like I failed her after how long she took care of me. I am sorry for my grammar ahead of time I am very upset. i wake up everyday and for just a second I still think shes alive (anyone else do that?). I think I really need to call her. And then I realize it's not real and she's gone and there's nothing I can do about it. I felt like I should type something out to someone to try to get some of this out. And most of you seem to understand some of what I am going through. Thank you for reading if you got this far. I'm sorry for all of your loses and I hope things get better for you. (and me)

Rose.
Dear Chad, This site is a wonderful place to talk out your feelings. Please do this! We have all voiced our feelings from day one. No matter how long it may take for u to have less pain, just continue to vent it alright? Blessings to you dear. You're quite young for this "club" but welcome even tho im sure you don't want to be a member. My prayers include everyone here nightly. Our empathy is with you.
chad said:
i lost my mom 17 days ago she ment so much to me she was really young and im only 20 it was it was a all to sudden thing she was never sick or anything..i cnt think of being with out her i think about her from when i get up to when i go to be then it starts the next day..i just look at her pics all day trying to rember the good times we had.i have alot of regrets to just wish i could of been home with her more and helped her when she needed me more wish i knew what happend from when she got up and a couple of hours when she passed away.i just hope she knows even tho i was not there that much that i loved her so much and would do anything for her..i love her so much..rip mom..5/18/1953-2/23/2010
Dear Linda: We have parallel stories, so I signed up. My mom died a week ago at 97, and I was with her at the time, holding her hand, as she held mine when I got here. I didn't realize what a wonderful woman she was until the later years - and this was augmented by the beauty and dignity with which she took her final days. Her mother died when she was 12, as your mom's mom did when she was 10. Amazing grace and beauty to be there in love for the moment of passing.

linda churchill said:
Mom passed 2/10/2010 with CHF..I was holding her as she took her last breathe, just as she held me when I took my first breathe. What a wonderful miracle to have this beautiful woman for the full 65 years of my life, even tho I did not realize what a truly grand lady she was until .... I know now how she must have felt since the age of 10 when her own mother died...losing mom is a big lose, but I have only lost her physical presents, her spirit is with me always and for that I am blessed.
Hi, I am nearing our one year anniversary of my mom's passing, and it sure hasn't been easy. Counseling helps. I find the horrific times have lingered in my mind, heart and soul and these are the problem areas. Today i put a "night light" in the ground near my moms memorial tree :) she always had one on, and this brings me comfort in knowing that little light will shine bright for her evenings. I am working on talk therapy instead of meds.... and i hope and pray as i work feelings out, next years anniversary will be filled of good memories. Blessings to everyone here, and my prayers are for all of us nightly.

Mam said:
Dear Linda: We have parallel stories, so I signed up. My mom died a week ago at 97, and I was with her at the time, holding her hand, as she held mine when I got here. I didn't realize what a wonderful woman she was until the later years - and this was augmented by the beauty and dignity with which she took her final days. Her mother died when she was 12, as your mom's mom did when she was 10. Amazing grace and beauty to be there in love for the moment of passing.

linda churchill said:
Mom passed 2/10/2010 with CHF..I was holding her as she took her last breathe, just as she held me when I took my first breathe. What a wonderful miracle to have this beautiful woman for the full 65 years of my life, even tho I did not realize what a truly grand lady she was until .... I know now how she must have felt since the age of 10 when her own mother died...losing mom is a big lose, but I have only lost her physical presents, her spirit is with me always and for that I am blessed.
Rose,

Sorry for your loss, I lost my mother Jan.10th 2010, my dad passed away ten years ago. I feel your pain. With both of my parents gone now, I really do feel all alone. I have picked up the phone so many times to call my mother, I talked to her almost everyday. The first time I did call, her phone was disconnected..the same phone number that I've been calling for 42 years, for advice, love,support or just to gossip..was gone, that when I realized this was no dream, it was real. My heart just stopped.
I went to the doc like everybody told me to do to get some meds to help me thru this, I really don't think that they are helping at all. I feel like I am going backwards, my grief is becoming worst as the days go by. So now I am trying this, talking about to someone that feels the same pain. I can't help you with your pain, I can't even help myself, but maybe we can help one another.

Felicia said:
Rose:
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I know the pain you feel, and I could feel it in your words. I'm so very sorry. My mother had pancreatic cancer, and she passed away as a result of it in July of last year. She was only 63. It hurts really bad. I still cry, and our bond was so strong, I just miss her everyday. How can you feel when someone so important who's been a part of your life, and there for you for ALL of your life is suddenly gone? Please just take time to feel anyway that you need to feel for as long as you need to feel that way. The only things that have been making me feel better so far is talking about it and crying. The weight of the pain is still incredilby overwhelming. We're mourning a lot. We've lost our mothers, and inside of that, we've lost in most cases a friend, a listener, an advice giver, someone who has our best interests in heart, and so much more. Let me know if you ever need to talk. (Hugs, love, and strength to you)

Rose said:
Hi there, I am having a very hard time coping with losing my mother lately. I lost her on Jan. 7th 2010. She was only 58 yrs old...I have many questions on why she passed away on top of my grief. She had brain and lung cancer and had just gotten off her last bit of brain radiation she could have. She wanted to keep taking chemo for her lungs. But the doctor told her he didn't see much point if it didn't help her brain. I found that disturbing really. But it's not only that there are questions about how much medication she was given by my father the night she passed. My mother was not bed ridden she was 100% with it. And I still find it so hard to buy that she just passed like she did so quickly. So, I am dealing with all of that on top of losing her. I just wish I could have been there for her more. I was stuck in my state (5 hours away from her), due to my child custody order. So, I was unable to be with her as much as I would like. And I really believe sometime if I had been there to take care of her instead of my father she would have been better off. I just feel like I failed her after how long she took care of me. I am sorry for my grammar ahead of time I am very upset. i wake up everyday and for just a second I still think shes alive (anyone else do that?). I think I really need to call her. And then I realize it's not real and she's gone and there's nothing I can do about it. I felt like I should type something out to someone to try to get some of this out. And most of you seem to understand some of what I am going through. Thank you for reading if you got this far. I'm sorry for all of your loses and I hope things get better for you. (and me)

Rose.
Tracy Shiffer said:
I lost my mom on Christmas Eve 2008. She had gone in for an operation on 12/2 and we were visiting. Everything was fine and we left on the 7th. By the 17th she was back in the hospital and on the 23rd we left to go see her - by the time we got there she was on life support - I had to make the gut wrenching decision to disconnect her. My dad was inconsolable. I stayed for another week, came home for a couple of days and went back for another week. I am an only child so he was relying on me heavily. I found him a place to buy here in Illinois, set up the moving company, got everything arranged and got him moved. When he got to Illinois I was in the middle of moving due to a divorce and wasn't able to help out all the much - there was other family helping though. Within 1 week of moving here I had been disowned and told not to come back. So within 4 months time I had lost my mother, my husband and my dad. Also 4 years ago I lost my best friend to cancer - it was a long 4 year struggle.

Can anyone tell me how I am supposed to cope with all this loss? I have lost all my support and don't know where to turn or who to talk to.

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