My mom died on Oct. 19, 2007. She was my best friend and we spent countless hours together, I took her on vacations, we had a very special bond. Since her passing I've literally died myself. I find it hard to find a purpose in my own life. I haven't friends to rely on and have only 1 sister left in my family who lives 1,000 miles away from me.
I am hoping to connect with others that are feeling this despair.
I cannot begin to imagine losing my mom. But I was faced with such a situation in 2006 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She remained strong through all her treatments, although at times I myself felt helpless. After a treatment, my mother would just lie on the bed to keep from getting nauseous. As I look at her, I can't help but cry. At times I felt angry that she couldn't do the things she used to - that now she needed me more than I needed her. I was just 16 then. But the one thing we both held on to was the hope found in the Bible, that one day "no resident will say: 'I am sick' (Isaiah 33:24). Also God himself promises that 'he will wipe out every tear from our eyes and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore" (Revelation 21:4) From when we were younger, my mother taught my sister and I about the God that promised such a wonderful future on a paradise earth - Jehovah God. He has sustained us through such a trial, and many more, providing us with the "power beyond what is normal" (2 Corinthians 4:7). As of now, I can say with heart full of happiness, that my mother is still with us. I still cannot imagine ever losing her. But as for our other loved ones who have passed away to the enemy, death, we are confident that Jehovah is yearning to resurrect such ones back to life (Job 14:14,15). How we long to see them again and welcome them with open arms!
When you lose your mother it's the worst feeling . She carried me for nine month's , now I will carry her in my heart for the rest of my life.
So very true, Liz. From the time of our conception we are bonded physically to our mothers and during those nine months before birth we develop close to her heart, with the sound of her heartbeat ever present. The attachment with our mother is not quite the same as the one we may share with our father. My Mom was also my best friend and she knew me better than anyone. While I was working outside the country there were so many times when I would be thinking of her and in minutes the phone would ring, it was Mom checking on me. Or when I would come home for a visit all she had to do was look at me to sense if something was bothering me. There is no one else I can share things with the way I shared those conversations with my Mom and so I still talk to her every night, even tho' she passed at the end of January 2009. I also still write regular notes to her in a journal. My Mom had passed after spending 3 months in hospital and it hit me very hard. But what I found especially hard was the rather cold reaction of a few friends when I mentioned she had died. These were friends who had known me for some time and were aware of my close relationship with my Mom. One, my closest friend, simply turned his back on me and ended the friendship within two weeks of my Mom's death. I will never understand that and do not know if I will ever find a way to forgive him. The other friend simply said "She was old and had been sick for some months so what did you expect." Well when her own mother died she called me to apologise for she had a sense of how that great loss felt.
There are times, even now, when I still sense my mother's presence...if I am sleeping in longer than usual on a Saturday morning, I will occasionally feel as tho' she is asking me 'Are you going to sleep the day away?' and I will jump out of bed announcing "okay, okay, I am getting up".
I envy Pam the experiences she was able to share with her Mom during those last few years of her life. While I was working overseas, I had wanted so much to have the luxury of more time, more trips with my Mom and I will always regret not finding more time to spend with her when she was in the hospital. I know that if the situation had been reversed my Mom would never have left my side and so I may always feel that I failed her in some way.
Like Pam, I will say to others who still have their Mom that they should make the most of the time they are able to spend with her and never leave anything unsaid; especially those three most important words "I Love You". Mom and I developed the habit that each phone call, every visit, would never end without the exchange of those 3 words.
There will never be anyone else in my life like my mother and I wonder if we ever stop missing someone who was so important to us.
Blessings to all who are dealing with the same loss.
Liz said:When you lose your mother it's the worst feeling . She carried me for nine month's , now I will carry her in my heart for the rest of my life.
Was it meant to be? my mom died in such a tragic way and I often wonder what was she thinking or what was she feeling during the car accident. I drive by the accident site every other day. We have a memorial for her their. They say that you never know when your time is up? on a religous point of view what happened? does anyone deserve to die this way. I am lost and need help! i feel uplifted sometimes like I should do good with my life now, but like today I miss her so much. I know death happens all the time and it's a part of life. but this absolutely knocked me off my feet. I try to be strong and go to work and take care of my family, but I feel empty.
Spend as much time as you can with her. tell her you love her and that she is your hero. Talk to her, hug her and hold her. and tell her everthin you have ever wanted to say.
RandiSabo said:I am 35 and found out mom has extensive breast cancer with mets to bone, liver and nodes. Breast surgeons say surgery is no longer an option and Onc's say treatment will only be palliative. Mom has chosed to defer any treatment to be able to enjoy 'what she has left'. I am a medical professional and respect her decision 100%, but just cant come to terms with this. I cry at the drop of a hat. I feel that the control i usually have over patients care has been stripped from me and I just dont know what to do with myself. How do you cope?