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Missing Mom
Grief support for all who have lost moms
Losing your mother can be traumatic at any age. Share your grief and talk with others who are coping with the loss of their mothers.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Barbara Magnussen on
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Carol thank you for your kind words. I really dread the holidays this year. I know that I have to face them with out mom. When she was well she used to cook up a storm. and she loved to shop. I remember when i was a little girl she and I would take the bus to shop all the time. my kids are going to go through a rough time too. they were all very close to her
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Permalink Reply by white dove on
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Hi Ladies, I will be coming to our 2nd Holiday season with out my mom...and daughters gramma. I can relate, with my mom being the best baker of wonderful food for most of our lives:) I don't hold a candle to her cooking/baking talents~ I felt all you are both feeling during our "First" holiday without mom.. and i can tell u, its not a good time and emotions will pour out, but, the next will be just a little less painful. I still wish for my mom to be here, in all her glory, but now understand she is having some wonderful times in Heaven. So in being in my 50's, i will wait until i see her again. I continue to feel her spiritual presence behind me.. sometimes with her hand on my shoulder... but her journey has taken her further away. Now i care for a lady who reminds me so much of my mom.. i leave work crying often, but this is A God sent position for i know my healing is something to be faced Now~ I have not been able to go back to my past form of work all this time. Even with so many harping on me to "get a job".. ive been heart broken and damaged. Life is changing, however i know i have changed also and will never be who i was.. We must go with the flo and learn, make our changes.. and try our best to retrieve ourselves in all.
God's Blessings to everyone here today and everyday!
Barbara Magnussen said:Carol thank you for your kind words. I really dread the holidays this year. I know that I have to face them with out mom. When she was well she used to cook up a storm. and she loved to shop. I remember when i was a little girl she and I would take the bus to shop all the time. my kids are going to go through a rough time too. they were all very close to her -
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Yes, this will be a different holiday season for us. Our family will be working through the holidays without my favorite aunt, my mom, and a 22-year-old nephew that we also lost this year. I just want it to be January 2nd already.
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Flora, I'm so sorry for everything you've been through. I wish I could stop your pain and sadness. I thought we'd had a lot of deaths within four months but you, too, have certainly been through so much. I just try to stay busy--I find that being around other people helps. Do what you enjoy as much as possible--read, listen to music, watch movies (especially funny ones), dance, sing, whatever helps.
Good luck to you. -
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MARCI, I'm so sorry for everything you've been through. Do you think your dad was lashing out at you because he was grieving? Sometimes we take out our anger and grief on those closest to us. You're in my thoughts.
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Hi, I can relate to you somewhat. My sister wouldn't let me and my 2 daughters see my mom the last 5 months of her life, she finally died sept.14,2010. W didn't go to the big funeral cause we were warned she was gonna show out so we just stayed home cause mom deserved better than that. Then at the cemetary she did act up,it was so embrassing. Mom was so good and full of love. She never treated anyone badly. The last 2 months,really the last 7,have been horrible. All we do is cry. Mom was all any of us ever had,she was our backbone and to be done that way makes it almost impossible to put the pieces back together. money and greed makes people do strange and unforgivable things. My daughters just found out over the internet that their other granny died the next day Sept. 15 and was buried the same day and time as my mom was. Nobody even bothered calling them. Sorry your family didn't help more none of mine did either. I'm just glad mom doesn't have to suffer anymore cause she was completely out of it the last 6 months . I've started listening to gospel music it seems to help some. I hope things get better for you. We'll all be together one day even our sisters. I pray for mine every night I couldn't help mom but maybe my prayers will help her. Teresa
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Hi, I can relate to you somewhat. My sister wouldn't let me and my 2 daughters see my mom the last 5 months of her life, she finally died sept.14,2010. W didn't go to the big funeral cause we were warned she was gonna show out so we just stayed home cause mom deserved better than that. Then at the cemetary she did act up,it was so embrassing. Mom was so good and full of love. She never treated anyone badly. The last 2 months,really the last 7,have been horrible. All we do is cry. Mom was all any of us ever had,she was our backbone and to be done that way makes it almost impossible to put the pieces back together. money and greed makes people do strange and unforgivable things. My daughters just found out over the internet that their other granny died the next day Sept. 15 and was buried the same day and time as my mom was. Nobody even bothered calling them. Sorry your family didn't help more none of mine did either. I'm just glad mom doesn't have to suffer anymore cause she was completely out of it the last 6 months . I've started listening to gospel music it seems to help some. I hope things get better for you. We'll all be together one day even our sisters. I pray for mine every night I couldn't help mom but maybe my prayers will help her. Teresa
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Permalink Reply by Felicia Jones on
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This is just really touching and I thank you for posting this.....I was my mother's care giver through all of her elments....She passed on to Glory so peacefully....so quietly, without any struggle or anything. We are a God fearing family and my mother was SAVED! So, in my heart, I know where she is...I just miss her soooo very much....I just feel lost, sad, empty....Its only been 3 weeks for me, but where I am right now....I don't think I can even began to try to move forward....part of me wants to press on, but part of me wants to ball up in a shell....then another part of me just wants to start everything over and new... I just keep praying that God continues to give me strength.....I keep praying for everyone who feels like I am and is going through the same thing gets some peace and strength through God!
Janet said:I lost my mom September 8. She was my best friend and I miss her everyday. I think about her alot, especially at night when everything is quiet. I wish I could tell her how much I respected and loved her-I hope she knew that.
Kat Norwood said:Kat Norwood said:It is not easy to lose a mother. My mother died just a little over a year ago, and I still grieve for her. My nephew lost his mother the year before, and is still grieving. My friend's dtr-in-law lost her mother many years ago, and she is still 'grieving'. I wonder if perhaps we never really 'get over it', but rather, 'learn to go on and be happy as she would want us to be!'.....I can do that, for her...and...for myself, as I know that would give her joy.
I could not sleep, eat right, be with friends, for over a year.....all I could think about was my mother, and my personal loss. BUT...now....I find 'time' DOES help us, in ways we least suspect.
Like many, I felt I 'lost control' over helping my mother. I felt lost, uncomfortable, and scared, all rolled into one. It was 'grief' in disguise!
My prayers are with all of you 'out there' as we walk this journey of sorrow together....remember.....we do not stand alone! AND...one day we will feel better, which is what our mother's REALLY want for us and themselves! -
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hi carol, I read your reply, I try everyday to be strong, my mom is in my dreams every night. Right now Im on medical leave because 2 weeks ago I just had surgery, I got so emotional because my docter told me that a cyst I had in my left ovarie was bleeding and that it was a 3.5, she said it could burst and I could bleed seriously, so she called my gynocologist and scheduled me right away to have it removed along with a hysterectomy, I had surgery on Oct 27,10, i had been having pain in my left hip area for about a 2 months as well as problems with my cycle, she tested it for cancer and it was benign, thank goodness, because Im at high risk for breast and ovarian cancer, it runs in my family, my sister is currently in remission for breast cancer, I help her get thru it every day, it makes us both stronger, as for now im healing well from the surgery, jus having good and bad days, I know my mom is watching over us everyday, today its a sunny day in Merced,Ca, I Love You Mama
Carol Jackson said:Flora, I'm so sorry for everything you've been through. I wish I could stop your pain and sadness. I thought we'd had a lot of deaths within four months but you, too, have certainly been through so much. I just try to stay busy--I find that being around other people helps. Do what you enjoy as much as possible--read, listen to music, watch movies (especially funny ones), dance, sing, whatever helps.
Good luck to you. -
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hi carol, I read your reply, I try everyday to be strong, my mom is in my dreams every night. Right now Im on medical leave because 2 weeks ago I just had surgery, I got so emotional because my docter told me that a cyst I had in my left ovarie was bleeding and that it was a 3.5, she said it could burst and I could bleed seriously, so she called my gynocologist and scheduled me right away to have it removed along with a hysterectomy, I had surgery on Oct 27,10, i had been having pain in my left hip area for about a 2 months as well as problems with my cycle, she tested it for cancer and it was benign, thank goodness, because Im at high risk for breast and ovarian cancer, it runs in my family, my sister is currently in remission for breast cancer, I help her get thru it every day, it makes us both stronger, as for now im healing well from the surgery, jus having good and bad days, I know my mom is watching over us everyday, today its a sunny day in Merced,Ca, I Love You Mama
Carol Jackson said:Flora, I'm so sorry for everything you've been through. I wish I could stop your pain and sadness. I thought we'd had a lot of deaths within four months but you, too, have certainly been through so much. I just try to stay busy--I find that being around other people helps. Do what you enjoy as much as possible--read, listen to music, watch movies (especially funny ones), dance, sing, whatever helps.
Good luck to you. -
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Flora,
Sunny days always help, don't they? We had a beautiful day here in upstate NY, also.
I'm so glad that your growth was benign. My youngest daughter gets lots of ovarian cysts. She had a partial hysterectomy last year but still gets very painful cysts on her one remaining ovary.
I'm at high risk for breast cancer--10 people in my family have had it. I make sure I get my annual checkup and mammogram.
I'm also glad your sister's in remission and I hope she continues to do well. You're right that helping your sister through her trials helps you both be stronger. My sister and I are trying to help my 83-year-old dad deal with all of the family deaths. He lives in Adult Care in a local nursing facility.
Take care and I hope you and your sister continue the healing process, both physically and emotionally. -
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Permalink Reply by Colleen McCarthy on
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Wow, the emptiness never goes away..... It will be 1 year 12/27 and I still can't have one day without crying. I am still having a hard time going to see my Dad. Spending the night at his house is also very hard for me. I have developed a very strong over the phone relationship with him since she passed. Something I never had with him in 40 years. I have started counseling and anger management. I haven't noticed a difference in my thoughts, but I'm trying.
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