The day before she died she wanted to have her hair trimmed and done, we did our nails and feet, in other words we prettied up....we talked that night, all night until 3am about our ups and downs and I left her home tired but happy. I kissed her good bye...she was my best friend. At 6 am I received the call...she wanted to look pretty for the people that would come and see her for the last time.

Does everybody do this? Do they prepare silently for the day? She seemed happy and hopeful, in peace with herself...why then? I repeat myself, is this a pattern? to seem like everything is ok but is not?

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Hi. I lost my twin Brother 8/03. I spoke with him 4 days before he killed himself and he sounded terrific- better than I'd heard him in some time.  It turns out he had planned the day, the exact day. He printed out 6 different letters, had all his legal docs set aside, etc.  Not every suicide behaves this way, but I think it is common.  And of course everything "seems" to be ok, because it then, they've made their decision and they are at peace with it. It seems cruel, but it's not just some mean head fake-it's the calm before the storm, so to speak.

I am so sorry about your sister.  I too lost my sister and best friend to suicide almost 8 months ago.  My sister tried several times before her final attempt.  I don't know what she was wearing, etc. when she died because none of us saw her (thank God).  She did tell me about the last time she attempted though and said that she bought new pajamas so that when the paramedics came she would look ok.  She also said she cleaned her room. 

Were you mad at your sister afterward?  I was extremely angry with mine and just in the past few months have gotten over the anger for the most part.  I saw my sister 3 days before she died but even before her 3 attempts, she purposely didn't contact me.  That's why I would always freak out if I couldn't get a hold of her. 

I'm sure your sister just wanted to spend time with you before she died but how terrible to leave you that way (I'm not trying to speak ill of your sister), I just can't imagine how much worse my own anger, confusion and grief would be if my situation was the same.  It seems extremely selfish, but in my opinion suicide is the most selfish act.   My sister spent the weekend with her best friend since high school because she and her fiance had broken up.  The friend knew that my sister was sad but my sister said she was going to see a therapist and her friend believed that she would be fine.  Instead she killed herself.    I am so sorry for your pain. 



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