My name is Jacqueline. I am 66  yr. old . My wonderful son Chuck committed suicide on Dec. 22. He was 36 yr. old. He was  in a relationship with the mother of his 3 children for 14 yr. and sometime back in the summer he believed that she was cheating on him. Their relationship was rocky to say the least.  She was with him in their home when this occured and I have heard 4 or 5 different versions of what happened. The police called me one time and I still don't have any paper work on anything. There are so many questions.  I called him that morning around 9 am I told him I loved him and he said he loved me and at 4 pm I received a call from my grandson by him, age 11 that CHuck had shot  himself in the head. I can't  get over the thought that she edged him on.

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Jackie,

You know it was being apart of a suicide survivor site much like this one that saved my sanity. I hope you find this place to be of some comfort. You are safe here to say what you feel. Its important to get that out. I have been a survivor going on 9 years now. That raw gut wrenching pain has been replaced by a sadness that wells up when I least expect it. Researching helped , not the act itself more the state of mind. Always in search of answers, I hope you find some too. My brother left no note, I can only imagine his pain. Im sorry you have reason to be here, Im glad you found us.

Sue 

Ok this all is so very fresh and so painful, I'm not sure if its the anger I'm feeling or if I'm justified for thinking the way I am. My son was due to deploy for training for 2 months before heading to afganastan. His, I will say ex, girlfriend, had him believing up until 2 weeks before him leaving that they were getting married etc. up until the day they were going to get married then she text him and says well my mom is changing my number incase I want to start a fresh new life......????????? and they wonder why he went nuts, come to find out that she I believe stands now to get half his life ins. 200,000 dollars. We cant find the papers, he asked in one of the texts "why did you take the important papers?" nothing else did she take, they lived together for 2 yrs, I was helping him to pack and clean before he left, she left all her stuff behind but took the important papers.....she told me at the funeral " he wouldn't talk to me" ....I read all the text messages all he did was try to talk to her....I just don't get it annnnd he had talked about hurting himself to her why would she not tell me i can't wrap my mind around it......she knew
Well she may not be able to collect a cent, I had a policy on my son and it stipulated that it would not pay off in the cause of suicide but I would get what I had paid into the policy, you are his next of kin so you should contact whomever the policy was thru..................

Elizabeth Young said:
Ok this all is so very fresh and so painful, I'm not sure if its the anger I'm feeling or if I'm justified for thinking the way I am. My son was due to deploy for training for 2 months before heading to afganastan. His, I will say ex, girlfriend, had him believing up until 2 weeks before him leaving that they were getting married etc. up until the day they were going to get married then she text him and says well my mom is changing my number incase I want to start a fresh new life......????????? and they wonder why he went nuts, come to find out that she I believe stands now to get half his life ins. 200,000 dollars. We cant find the papers, he asked in one of the texts "why did you take the important papers?" nothing else did she take, they lived together for 2 yrs, I was helping him to pack and clean before he left, she left all her stuff behind but took the important papers.....she told me at the funeral " he wouldn't talk to me" ....I read all the text messages all he did was try to talk to her....I just don't get it annnnd he had talked about hurting himself to her why would she not tell me i can't wrap my mind around it......she knew
this Gerard my son was tim i think you all might have seen my story anyways i am babbling again been a year and a 6 months or close to that still cant understand why and all thatbut i keep going if i can help anyone with this nightmare you can call 772-260-2417
this Gerard my son was tim i think you all might have seen my story anyways i am babbling again been a year and a 6 months or close to that still cant understand why and all thatbut i keep going if i can help anyone with this nightmare you can call 772-260-2417

Gerard, thats so very generous of you. Im sorry for the loss of your son.

Elizabeth - thats utterly awful treatment and suspicious too. Im sorry,really sorry..

Jackie, again I feel terrible for you and your family.

  I think what Im trying to say is that a healthy mind does not commit suicide, a sick one does. Plenty of folks get past this kind of stuff, move on and get over it. A few, a chosen few do not. It can be a spur of the moment thing, or a well planned out event, they were not of their right mind. Something has to be irrevocably broken to over ride one's most basic instinct, to survive. My uncle only a few months ago , was pretty much living out of his car after seperating from his wife of 30 years. No one knew. He got up one morning, went and grabbed a coffee and then just jumped off a bridge into the frigid ocean, hoping to hit the rocks. His rescue made tv. and the local newspapers. A small town where everybody knows everybody. He is alive, he said he hadnt planned on doing that, he just did it without thinking. My mothers brother,my mother who lost her only son to suicide, faced yet again the horror of a suicide attempt in her immediate family. Some say genetics,sometimes I wonder...Im sorry for the babble.

 

Greetings Sue. Thanks so much for caring to answer all of us.  I know what  you say about a healthy mind and I agree  with that. My son was of right mind  but he was terribly wounded by the  unfaithfulness of his mate for over 14  yr. and mother of his 3 children. She was cheating on him where she worked. I don't know what happened after I talked to him in the morning of that fateful day and most likely will never know but I think strongly that she edged him on. I wish that he would have just separated from her but in talking to his one friend he said he was afraid that she would keep his children from  him and they were the most important to him.  I am grateful for this site. Thanks and God bless to everyone. Love Jackie
SUE said:

Gerard, thats so very generous of you. Im sorry for the loss of your son.

Elizabeth - thats utterly awful treatment and suspicious too. Im sorry,really sorry..

Jackie, again I feel terrible for you and your family.

  I think what Im trying to say is that a healthy mind does not commit suicide, a sick one does. Plenty of folks get past this kind of stuff, move on and get over it. A few, a chosen few do not. It can be a spur of the moment thing, or a well planned out event, they were not of their right mind. Something has to be irrevocably broken to over ride one's most basic instinct, to survive. My uncle only a few months ago , was pretty much living out of his car after seperating from his wife of 30 years. No one knew. He got up one morning, went and grabbed a coffee and then just jumped off a bridge into the frigid ocean, hoping to hit the rocks. His rescue made tv. and the local newspapers. A small town where everybody knows everybody. He is alive, he said he hadnt planned on doing that, he just did it without thinking. My mothers brother,my mother who lost her only son to suicide, faced yet again the horror of a suicide attempt in her immediate family. Some say genetics,sometimes I wonder...Im sorry for the babble.

 

Good day Gerard , Just got on  this site and came across your phone # and thought before I call you to email  you and see if you still want people to call  you. I am Jackie and my son Chuck committed suicide on Dec. 22, 2010.  Hope to hear from  you soon. Hope things are getting better. I am sure none of  us will ever be over it. Blessings, Jackie

gerard said:
this Gerard my son was tim i think you all might have seen my story anyways i am babbling again been a year and a 6 months or close to that still cant understand why and all thatbut i keep going if i can help anyone with this nightmare you can call 772-260-2417

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