Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jan Marie Kriner on October 30, 2010 at 10:41am

Baby, I know you're not going to hear this now. Sometime in the future you may remember, but you didn't pull that trigger. My husband also shot himself two years ago. He had problems that he couldn't handle. I'm still trying to deal with it, but I do know that I DIDN'T PULL THAT TRIGGER. Don't let anyone else convince you that you did anything wrong either. If you must, take life one hour at a time. Eventually, you can go up to a day at a time. Sometime in the future, maybe the anger and guilt wil subside, but its something we all have to work on a little at a time.

Permalink Reply by Vicki on October 30, 2010 at 8:26pm

thank you,for the kind words,today was a very challenging day,but with God's grace,i got through it,i kept wondering,how his family was doing today,and how horrible,it must be for a parent,to have to bury their child,that's not supposed to happen!!i hope God's grace was sufficient,for them during this time.i hope you are healing,and feeling,like living a little more every day.i hope in time i won't feel guilty for being alive
Jan Marie Kriner said:

Baby, I know you're not going to hear this now. Sometime in the future you may remember, but you didn't pull that trigger. My husband also shot himself two years ago. He had problems that he couldn't handle. I'm still trying to deal with it, but I do know that I DIDN'T PULL THAT TRIGGER. Don't let anyone else convince you that you did anything wrong either. If you must, take life one hour at a time. Eventually, you can go up to a day at a time. Sometime in the future, maybe the anger and guilt wil subside, but its something we all have to work on a little at a time.

Permalink Reply by kathy on November 12, 2010 at 4:10am

Dear Vicky May you feel God's loving arms around you, giving you comfort and strength during these difficult days. The grief and guilt you are experiencing will not easily disappear you may find that for a time your emotions will be somewhat unpredictable tears may flow without much advance warning be patient with yourself. The Bible assures us: “God is near to those that are broken at heart; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.” (Psalm 34:18) Vicky only God can fully understand the role of mental sickness, extreme stress, even genetic defects, that contributed to your husbands’ suicide. Rather than blame and torment yourself, you may find comfort in the words of wise King Solomon: “The living are conscious that they will die; but as for the dead, they are conscious of nothing at all.” (Ecclesiastes 9:5) He is not suffering; he is simply at rest. It might be best now to focus on yourself. I will pray for his family and you.

Permalink Reply by Vicki on November 12, 2010 at 6:10am

kathy-thx for the uplifting words,and encouragement,in my heart i know ben was sick ,one would have to be sick to end their own life,but sometimes the guilt overtakes me,thanks for your prayers,and kind words,may God bless and keep you....vicki
kathy said:

Dear Vicky May you feel God's loving arms around you, giving you comfort and strength during these difficult days. The grief and guilt you are experiencing will not easily disappear you may find that for a time your emotions will be somewhat unpredictable tears may flow without much advance warning be patient with yourself. The Bible assures us: “God is near to those that are broken at heart; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.” (Psalm 34:18) Vicky only God can fully understand the role of mental sickness, extreme stress, even genetic defects, that contributed to your husbands’ suicide. Rather than blame and torment yourself, you may find comfort in the words of wise King Solomon: “The living are conscious that they will die; but as for the dead, they are conscious of nothing at all.” (Ecclesiastes 9:5) He is not suffering; he is simply at rest. It might be best now to focus on yourself. I will pray for his family and you.

Permalink Reply by Vicki on November 12, 2010 at 6:10am

kathy-thx for the uplifting words,and encouragement,in my heart i know ben was sick ,one would have to be sick to end their own life,but sometimes the guilt overtakes me,thanks for your prayers,and kind words,may God bless and keep you....vicki
kathy said:

Dear Vicky May you feel God's loving arms around you, giving you comfort and strength during these difficult days. The grief and guilt you are experiencing will not easily disappear you may find that for a time your emotions will be somewhat unpredictable tears may flow without much advance warning be patient with yourself. The Bible assures us: “God is near to those that are broken at heart; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.” (Psalm 34:18) Vicky only God can fully understand the role of mental sickness, extreme stress, even genetic defects, that contributed to your husbands’ suicide. Rather than blame and torment yourself, you may find comfort in the words of wise King Solomon: “The living are conscious that they will die; but as for the dead, they are conscious of nothing at all.” (Ecclesiastes 9:5) He is not suffering; he is simply at rest. It might be best now to focus on yourself. I will pray for his family and you.

Permalink Reply by Lost Mom on November 12, 2010 at 3:34pm

Oh Vicki,
I am so sorry!! You can't feel responsible! You did not hand him the weapon and say "Here". I dont know what kind of ugly spirit is running rampid all over the place. But it is not your fault at all.
My son done the same thing but I dont know why.
Sharon

Permalink Reply by SUE on November 18, 2010 at 11:18pm

You were his family too Vicki and its not your fault !! You are in my thoughts..((Hugs))

Permalink Reply by Brooke McKenna on February 14, 2011 at 6:47pm

I am so sorry for your loss. I know what your feeling. I had divorced my husband but we had gotten back together. We had a very difficult relationship due to his addiction. I kicked him out again 4 months before he hung himself and a week after he asked to come back and I refused. He sent me a text right before saying he loved me and the kids with all his heart. Then why? I feel tremendous guilt too. Please try to be kind to yourself, it is not your fault but I understand how you feel. I will pray for you and your family.