Its been 6 wks now since my Mom passed away.  Somehow I got through Halloween without her. She always fixed chili & cornbread for everyone and we always spent the evening at our house handing out candy to all the kids. She loved to see what the kids would dress up as and always had to answer the door and compliment the kids on their costumes. It was the same for over 30 yrs...we always did this. We didn't stay home this year for Halloween...just couldn't do it without her.I am dreading the upcoming holidays. I realize now how much I miss everything that was such a routine. I never thought about any of this before when she was alive for some reason. I guess you end up just taking everything for granted but when its gone...you realize how much you miss it...the routine of it all.  I miss talking everynight on the phone before she went to bed...the cooking together...the shopping trips ...everything! I wish I had known how much it all meant to me...perhaps I would have enjoyed it even more. I miss it all so much! Does anyone else feel like this?

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I feel the exact same way- I dont know how to get through the holidays- the pain is too intense- we were as close as mother/daughter could be- and no one seems to understand how much i am going through- and i am tired of people saying it will get better- no it wont!
November will be the ninth long and lonely month without my Mom. She passed away on February 20, and our family is struggling through all the painful anniversaries of the First Year. Each family has holiday traditions that represent precious memories. For now, they are reminders of all that has been lost, and what will never be again. Sadness is a heavy burden and it wears you down. I can't tell you that it gets better; I think you just learn new ways of carrying on with a hole in your heart.

Your loss is so new; grief is really just starting to settle in. Be kind to yourself and don't let anyone tell you what you should be feeling. Let us know how you are doing...we are all here for the same reasons...to share with the only ones who really understand.

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