Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
she was my best friend, not just a Mother
Lost my Mother in June of this year. She has the agressive form of ALS. she was gone in a year and six months from the dx just like the neurologist said could be. were together every minute after the dx. i have dreams about her. Still, i cannot cope some days. tried to find a group through ALS ASSOCIATION wesite. the reply came back: no results found for your area". so i do not reach out to them.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Amanda Louise Hudson on
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I am very sorry for your loss. I hope that good memories can bring you comfort. My favorite person in the world had to go this year. I am still trying to learn to live with it. It is so hard to figure out what to do with all of the emotions. I talk to him. He responds to me in my mind. Yeah, I think I must be crazy at times but it's comforting and I don't want it to stop. Maybe there is a group out of your area that you could contact. You may not see the people often but the internet is a helpful tool. I will be thinking of you!!
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Permalink Reply by Bryan Dover on
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lost my mother in may Christmas and newyears day were very bad like every day is. I was in bed at 9pm newyears eve .Iam so sick and depressed and who knows what else. Its only 7 month how is it going to be in a year or 2 I don't want to be here I hate this so called life I don't have a life anymore. I don't know how yous good people handle this anyway everybody takecare
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Dear Roger,I am so sorry to hear of your recent loss. I imagine that you and your mother were very close. Losing someone in death is such a terrible and painful thing to endure. I recently heard someone who lost their father say:
"It is like someone sealing up your house and taking away the keys. You cannot return home, even for a moment. You are left with only your memories. This is the new reality. Although you try to deny it -since it seems so unfair- there is nothing you can do."
I am not sure if you believe in God, or if you read the Bible, but there are a couple of scriptures that helped me when I lost someone very close to me. The Bible tells us that God did not intend for us to die, and that soon he will bring about lasting changes, including eliminating death forever and bringing back our loved ones that we have lost.
"He will swallow up death forever, and the Sovereign Lord Jehovah
will wipe away tears from all faces" -Isaiah 25:8
"(We have) hope of the everlasting life, that God,
who cannot lie
promised long ago" -Titus 1:2
"And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes,
and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry, nor pain
be anymore, the former things have passed away." -Rev 21:4
I hope these scriptures can bring you some comfort and hope.
Sincerely, Danny
roger said:
lost my mother in may Christmas and newyears day were very bad like every day is. I was in bed at 9pm newyears eve .Iam so sick and depressed and who knows what else. Its only 7 month how is it going to be in a year or 2 I don't want to be here I hate this so called life I don't have a life anymore. I don't know how yous good people handle this anyway everybody takecare
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Roger, I am posting because I was thinking of you. I am still thinking about Daddy everyday. Almost everything reminds me of him. I keep finding myself saying his sayings and thinking the way he thinks. It is true that they live on through us. I really like the quote mentioned about leaving your house and locked out but its still not quite as painful. Those are just things. They are replaceable. It just pulls you out of a comfort zone until you find a new one to add new things. We have to relearn how to live life! You and I are struggling. It is an everyday issue that never gets easier. I still try to do things like I think he wants me to because I know he is watching me and I try to make him proud.
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Hello all, I read this thread and was touched to the point of tears.
A few years ago, we lost my grandmother. She was like a mother to me. She raised me along with my mother. I lived with her until I was married at age 21.
My mom still says she cannot stop crying. She texted me last night: "Few days ago, I watched Motown at the White House. Smokey Robinson sang a duet "Tracks of my Tears." The chorus says, 'Take a good look at my face, You'll see my smile looks out of place. If you look closer, it's easy to trace, The tracks of my tears..I need you, need you....' Well when I heard those words, I said to myself, that's me, that's how I feel. I miss my Mom so much. It's been a long hard road. I need a tear bottle for my tears, tears of the heart." - My Mom
To say I hate death is understatement. I hate the loss and the pain it causes.
However, I share Danny T's. faith. There was a righteous man in the bible that asked a question about death that has always intrigued me. He asked: "If a man dies, can he live again?" - Job 14:14.
He asked that question from the standpoint of his observations of nature. He reasoned that if a tree got cut down and God's saw to it that it could sprout again, certainly the same would be true for a man, a human. He thought that not only could God do it, but He would also really want to. (Job 14:15)
The bible goes on to show that Job reasoned correctly. Not only will the dead live again, but it will be soon.
John 5:28, 29 says: Do not be amazed at this, for the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out...
Our loved ones will live again!
There is true comfort in the scriptures. May the words of Almighty God prove to be true: "As a mother comforts her son, So I will keep comforting you..." - Isaiah 66:13
Roger, I just read this article and thought I would share it with you. Hope it helps. http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/2014004
Kind regards to all,
Jason R.
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Jason R said:Hello all, I read this thread and was touched to the point of tears.
A few years ago, we lost my grandmother. She was like a mother to me. She raised me along with my mother. I lived with her until I was married at age 21.
My mom still says she cannot stop crying. She texted me last night: "Few days ago, I watched Motown at the White House. Smokey Robinson sang a duet "Tracks of my Tears." The chorus says, 'Take a good look at my face, You'll see my smile looks out of place. If you look closer, it's easy to trace, The tracks of my tears..I need you, need you....' Well when I heard those words, I said to myself, that's me, that's how I feel. I miss my Mom so much. It's been a long hard road. I need a tear bottle for my tears, tears of the heart." - My Mom
To say I hate death is understatement. I hate the loss and the pain it causes.
However, I share Danny T's. faith. There was a righteous man in the bible that asked a question about death that has always intrigued me. He asked: "If a man dies, can he live again?" - Job 14:14.
He asked that question from the standpoint of his observations of nature. He reasoned that if a tree got cut down and God's saw to it that it could sprout again, certainly the same would be true for a man, a human. He thought that not only could God do it, but He would also really want to. (Job 14:15)
The bible goes on to show that Job reasoned correctly. Not only will the dead live again, but it will be soon.
John 5:28, 29 says: Do not be amazed at this, for the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out...
Our loved ones will live again!
There is true comfort in the scriptures. May the words of Almighty God prove to be true: "As a mother comforts her son, So I will keep comforting you..." - Isaiah 66:13
Roger, I just read this article and thought I would share it with you. Hope it helps. http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/2014004
Kind regards to all,
Jason R.
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Jason R this is roger thankyou for the watchtower saying its very nice . I just hurt more and more everyday. I would do anything to have my mother . here with me. its very hard to handle everyday. I don't know what to do anymore. thankyou again. I would talk to my mother 6 times or more a day.thankyou again
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Roger,
As you can see, you are definitely in the thoughts and prayers of many as you endure this very painful time. I was just reading over that same Watchtower article today looking for some relief. My grandfather passed away Sunday and my heart is struggling. My grandmother passed several years ago, I lived with them for some time during my childhood. My earliest & fondest memories were with them. Losing my grandfather now has reopened the wounds and I feel a hole in my life. An empty space somewhere that I can't quite identify. I recalled a scripture that has brought me some comfort in the past and it helped:
"Jehovah is close to the brokenhearted; He saves those who are crushed in spirit." -Psalms 34:18
Someone once brought out the difference between "broken" and "crushed" in reference to this scripture. When a vase is dropped and broken, it can possibly be repaired or glued back together, but when a vase is placed in the middle of the highway and ran over by an 18 wheeler, it is crushed, and cannot be repaired or glued back together. It is the same with our hearts, we need God near us when we are "broken hearted", but when our heart is "crushed", only he can save us. It is impossible for us to pick up the pieces and put ourselves back together alone.
While I am struggling through my pain as grief begins to set in, I cannot imagine how you must feel inside right now. I hope these scriptures and articles can help ease some of the weight of your pain, and if you can, try to pray to God whenever you feel it overwhelming you. He always listens.
Take care
-Danny -
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Roger,
Thanks for taking time to respond. I know this is a difficult time for you. Unbearable even...
Do not despair. All is not lost. There is reason to have hope. What you want IS possible. You can see your mother again. I assure you there is reason to believe that.
At Rev. 21:5-7 God promises that he is "making ALL THINGS NEW". But then he says something very powerful.... He says "Write, for these words are FAITHFUL and TRUE.”... verse 7 says: ..."Anyone conquering WILL inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be my son. "
These words are from Almighty God himself. It is as if he has signed for us a guarantee or a title deed to these future blessings. These things will come to pass, they will come true.
As Danny T. mentioned, prayer and also bible reading will help you to understand God's clear promises that apply to you and your mom.
If you would like, someone can come and visit you to share more comfort from the scriptures.
If you are interested please click here.
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Dear Stephanie,
My mom passed away September 14th 2012. It definitely is a case of my mom, my best friend. I really feel like my life is empty, and nothing sufficiently fills the yearning to talk to her one more time. I am sorry you can't find a support group for ALS. I am sorry but I don't know what ALS stands for, is that Alzheimers - apologize for the ignorance. I have very little of my mom's stuff, it's all in South Africa, and my stepdad is currently very ill, pining the loss of mom terribly. Someone else is dealing with the estate details - haven't been wound up yet.
Take best of care, send reply to whenever okay.
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I wish I could talk to mom again. Used to talk to her sometimes 3 or 4 times a day - she never minded. I am from South Africa, so my phone bills got pretty hefty, until I found Vonage. I understand and feel your pain.
roger said:Jason R this is roger thankyou for the watchtower saying its very nice . I just hurt more and more everyday. I would do anything to have my mother . here with me. its very hard to handle everyday. I don't know what to do anymore. thankyou again. I would talk to my mother 6 times or more a day.thankyou again
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