Life runneth over and I am feeling like I am drowning in what I want to call "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH"  My emotional and physical pains combined paralyze my spirit and the way I get about. Tis' the season for lots of apt. break ins and they are happening during the afternoon hours now when and if I can juggle down the stairs to hobble my way about for a walk about the grounds. God I miss Doug. I am so lonely. All I do is sit and cry. I find it harder to get up and want to eat anything. Friends have been there but are all back in there own lives. My income is so limited that I can't afford to do anything except pay my basic bills at present.  This is not what I do best , complain. My spirit was soaring with Doug. We had so much love. The 26th of December will be our 12th Wedding Anniversary. I always got back in my gown for us to take pictures and we would watch the video a friend made for us of the ceremony. I miss his hugs sooooooooooo much. Thanks for listening to me vent of how STUCK I am. sorry.

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Replies to This Discussion

Ellen, I know how hard it is, and what you are dealing with. It has been 2 years,7 months today and I still find it hard to even function....I too have to force myself to even eat sometimes. Many times I don't eat until late when I know I have to have something and it might be a bowl of cereal because I do not want to be bothered fixing anything. What is also hard is people think "it has been a long time, get over it!" Just does not help....I do not even know how to put in to words how I feel still......Just know you are not alone and they tell me , it does get better.

Hugs and prayers for you.
Donna
Donna, Thank you so much for your note. I do the same with eating. Mine is a bowl of popcorn very late. I haven't cooked since I lost Doug. I am so grateful for this site and folks like you. Write anytime. HUGS. Ellen~ BTW you did wonderful expressing in words how you feel.

Donna Halacy said:
Ellen, I know how hard it is, and what you are dealing with. It has been 2 years,7 months today and I still find it hard to even function....I too have to force myself to even eat sometimes. Many times I don't eat until late when I know I have to have something and it might be a bowl of cereal because I do not want to be bothered fixing anything. What is also hard is people think "it has been a long time, get over it!" Just does not help....I do not even know how to put in to words how I feel still......Just know you are not alone and they tell me , it does get better.

Hugs and prayers for you.
Donna
Ellen, sorry I mixed the dates up about your anniversary, but sometimes my brain just doesn't register things like it should. But I certainly will be praying for you on the 26th. I know this is a hard time for all of us here. I will be glad to see Jan. 2nd get here and all this holiday stuff be over. Hugs to you.
Debbie, no need to apologize. I am just so grateful for your support and prayers. You have mine as well. HUGS.Ellen

Debbie Treadway said:
Ellen, sorry I mixed the dates up about your anniversary, but sometimes my brain just doesn't register things like it should. But I certainly will be praying for you on the 26th. I know this is a hard time for all of us here. I will be glad to see Jan. 2nd get here and all this holiday stuff be over. Hugs to you.
Debbie, no need to apologize. I am just so grateful for your support and prayers. You have mine as well. HUGS.Ellen

Debbie Treadway said:
Ellen, sorry I mixed the dates up about your anniversary, but sometimes my brain just doesn't register things like it should. But I certainly will be praying for you on the 26th. I know this is a hard time for all of us here. I will be glad to see Jan. 2nd get here and all this holiday stuff be over. Hugs to you.

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