Thanks to Everyone

As I just made it through the first anniversary of Brad's sudden death on August 5th I want to thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers and phone calls and emails in support of me. It was a tough, exhausting, emotional day. I couldn't even look at the door he walked out of that day without breaking down. I must say, though, the best part of that day was at sunset when close friends and family met me at the cemetery to celebrate Brad's life. Having others there with me and sharing stories and memories of Brad made me realize how many people truly loved him and missed him. We all released white star baloons after sharing a story about Brad and the sunset was the most beautiful one I had seen in a long time. That was Brad's gift to me, and it made me realize that after everything he gave me during our time together, the least I could do was try and be positive at least some of the time. Whenever I would be down about something he was the rock who gave me the strength to go on. This doesn't mean I don't miss him like crazy, that I don't want to see his smile and have his arms around me, I want that more than anything! He is my husband, soul mate and best friend. I miss him like crazy and the tears won't stop, But in leaving me he has given me a whole new set of friends who support me. Thanks to all of you, the journey is not easy and it never will be but if we all stick together, our loved ones will be smiling down on us and helping us every step of the way. Someday I will see Brad again and we will never be apart again.

P.S...... If anyone lives South East of Wisconsin and sees a white star balloon some day, think of Brad because that's the direction they all went and I'd really like to know where they ended up. Lots of love and hugs to all of you....my friends.

Barb

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Permalink Reply by Randolph L. Schrader on August 7, 2010 at 1:12pm

You dont have to give thanks Barb, we are all here, always, for you and to each other.Hugs to you. Hugs are good.

Permalink Reply by Virginia on August 7, 2010 at 1:41pm

Hi Barb, i'm glad you had your friends and family with you and was given a beautifull sunset I know it must have been very heart renching and bitter sweet but what a beautifull gift Brad gave you as a sign of his love, and Randolph said it best we are all here for each other,god bless

Permalink Reply by bc on August 7, 2010 at 2:13pm

Thanks, I appreciate it! Now after one postive daY, the ugly monster called grief has shown up again. Why can't it just go away and stay away?

Randolph L. Schrader said:

You dont have to give thanks Barb, we are all here, always, for you and to each other.Hugs to you. Hugs are good.

Permalink Reply by bc on August 7, 2010 at 2:13pm

Thanks, I appreciate it! Now after one postive daY, the ugly monster called grief has shown up again. Why can't it just go away and stay away?

Randolph L. Schrader said:

You dont have to give thanks Barb, we are all here, always, for you and to each other.Hugs to you. Hugs are good.

Permalink Reply by bc on August 7, 2010 at 2:14pm

Thanks Virginia for all of your support, I'm back to feeling down again, have one positive day then back I go. How frustrating! Hope you are doing well.
Love ya!

Virginia said:

Hi Barb, i'm glad you had your friends and family with you and was given a beautifull sunset I know it must have been very heart renching and bitter sweet but what a beautifull gift Brad gave you as a sign of his love, and Randolph said it best we are all here for each other,god bless

Permalink Reply by Kim Hawkins on August 7, 2010 at 4:00pm

Barb I am so glad you made it though the day. It is so hard I know I have been though 2 of those days. My kids and I always do a balloon release on Barrys birthday and the day he passed away. The bad thing about grieve is we have some good ( or Ok) days and then bad days. I am sure Brad was looking down that day. Seeing other missing him does have some comfort. Know matter what happens we always wish that were back with us. My kids and I were involved last week a camp at hospice. One night at the Adult session we had to write somethings down and one thing I said to Barry was I wish you were here so I would not have to be there that night at hospice even though Hospice is a great place for people who are grieving. Just pray fore strength everyday so you can get though the bad days. Glad we are here for each other.

Permalink Reply by CINDY POWELL on August 7, 2010 at 6:19pm

barb,
so glad you made it through the day and sounds like you really had alot of support.i think we are all on a big rollar coaster ride with our highs and lows. i really wish i could go back to feeling normal but i dont think that will ever happen. God Bless you.

Permalink Reply by judy on August 7, 2010 at 7:09pm