Grief support for all coping with the loss of a child
Share your story and connect with others who are coping with the death of a child.
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It has been 11 months since my 24 year old son passed away suddenly. I have just now received the coroner's report and toxicology and autopsy. It took such a long time. I live in Canada and can't believe how bad this system is. I work in Buffalo,NY in a Pathology department and we do things alot differently in the States.Our autopsy's are done within ten days, the medical examiners take a bit longer, but not 11 months!
It is pure torture to have to wait, esp. living in a small town with the rumours flying. But all in all, everyone has been really good to me, as much as they know how to be.
I feel like it is yesterday, when I got the call at work to come home NOW. I could hear my son's girlfriend in the background crying and I knew it was Josh. I kept asking , IS HE DEAD IS HE DEAD??? Finally, the police got on the phone and said"there was an accident and your son went over the bridge and I'm sorry to say he didn't make it". Apparently, I was hysterical at work and don't even remember driving home. Probably the worst thing was having to identify him in the morgue and not being able to hold him, just to see him in full rigor behind a glass window. I wanted to wipe his nose because it was bleeding.They had wiped the foam off his mouth, but his neck was huge and edemous. I was clawing at the glass begging them to let me in to hold him and tell him it was ok. The reason they couldn't let me in to him was because the autopsy wasn't done yet. But it still hurt beyond belief. I did ask the funeral director to let me see him before he was embalmed so I got to check out his body for signs of trauma and struggle.
This is so hard I can't even breathe .
Love and strength to you all.
hi sue,i feel the same thing happened to me and my family we were in the er room waiting to see what happens to my son and they said we couldnt see him or touch him because he was evidence.now there are people in that room that never even met my son or they have no right to tell us we cant say goodbye to him,i will say we didnt get to see his face or anything we got to see him in his bodybag.they took him in ambulance to do an autapsy.my husband when my son came back and then he went and dressed my son and talked to him i wouldnt.i said i work in a nursing home i cant.i dont care i cant do that.but just to let you know that my heart feels for what you are going throu not being able to touch or anything.take care and write when you can kristi
Sue said:It has been 11 months since my 24 year old son passed away suddenly. I have just now received the coroner's report and toxicology and autopsy. It took such a long time. I live in Canada and can't believe how bad this system is. I work in Buffalo,NY in a Pathology department and we do things alot differently in the States.Our autopsy's are done within ten days, the medical examiners take a bit longer, but not 11 months!
It is pure torture to have to wait, esp. living in a small town with the rumours flying. But all in all, everyone has been really good to me, as much as they know how to be.
I feel like it is yesterday, when I got the call at work to come home NOW. I could hear my son's girlfriend in the background crying and I knew it was Josh. I kept asking , IS HE DEAD IS HE DEAD??? Finally, the police got on the phone and said"there was an accident and your son went over the bridge and I'm sorry to say he didn't make it". Apparently, I was hysterical at work and don't even remember driving home. Probably the worst thing was having to identify him in the morgue and not being able to hold him, just to see him in full rigor behind a glass window. I wanted to wipe his nose because it was bleeding.They had wiped the foam off his mouth, but his neck was huge and edemous. I was clawing at the glass begging them to let me in to hold him and tell him it was ok. The reason they couldn't let me in to him was because the autopsy wasn't done yet. But it still hurt beyond belief. I did ask the funeral director to let me see him before he was embalmed so I
Diamond you are truly a spiritual woman, I believe what you say is true. I believe that one day my son will be waiting for me and I'll be sooo happy to be with him again. But I wish that day will come soon.
I have this mood and it's dark at times, I know I know. My life has changed and I didn't want to lose Scott. When he died I asked God to bring him back to me but of course this didn't happen. I miss his voice, his face and his smell. In the mornings on the way to work I'd say my prayers and ask God to take care of my sons and not to take any of them?? But let me tell you this I have only shared with family members. At the funeral as I sat on the couch across the room there was a big purple round circle of light and anybody could of seem it. it was that big. I couldn't say anything because I couldn't take my eyes off of it and in a second it was gone. I was the only one who saw it. What do you think that was Diamond?? Scott's spirit or something??
Shirley
i really don/t know where to start, my son was killed in a car wreck on july 3 2009, he was only 26 and he was my baby ...and i still don't believe it . i keep thinking it is a bad dream. it can't be real . i don't know how to face this and i don't want to . i know i am going to have to get someone to talk to but it is so hard.. i am finding it hard enough typing this, good thing i don't know much about typing are i would have time to think.anyway i will be back on soon ... noone should have to go throu this.. linda
i really don/t know where to start, my son was killed in a car wreck on july 3 2009, he was only 26 and he was my baby ...and i still don't believe it . i keep thinking it is a bad dream. it can't be real . i don't know how to face this and i don't want to . i know i am going to have to get someone to talk to but it is so hard.. i am finding it hard enough typing this, good thing i don't know much about typing are i would have time to think.anyway i will be back on soon ... noone should have to go throu this.. linda
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