The loss of a child

ELOY CONRAD DURAN II said:
I lost my son Tragically on January 03, 2010...His name is Eloy Conrad Duran III he is 25 years old and has a five year old daughter...Living his life with his daughter was his passion in life...he loved her soo much it consumed his and her life...being a happy, considerate, loving, caring, compassionate person, he was always happy and at peace...giving of himself to anybody who needed help, making friends was a trait he had like no other...enjoying every second of everyday of his life...He was a true Gentleman amongst Gentlemen...

Our overwhelming pain...our sorrow...our anger...our consciousness...our life...has been changed forever, the adage dead man walking has never tuned in so true for me, because they killed me that early morning as well... We know you are in heaven with god son, a much better place than here on earth...I love you son...
My son was murdered by a group of cowards who jumped my son and murdered him...This is the most cowardess senseless, premeditated, horrific, heinous, crime a human being could evoke on another living breathing god fearing human being...The rage in their mortal souls most certainly run rampant...without conviction...this can only lead them into the hellish confines of a very very dark place...without pity. I pray for them because they must know not what god has in store for them...Vengeance Is Mine Sayeth The Lord...
I wrote a poem, not very good but non-the-less...my personal feelings of utter loss and tragedy that may strike a cord of sanity for somebody...So...here it is

For all of the Love, Happiness and Joys in Life, they only seem "Mild", because there is nothing like the love for your "Child".
My son Conrad was taken away by the hands of "Fools", Would it not be fair if they succomed to the very same "Tools".
God said vengance is mine, and thou shalt not "Kill"...we all know your life was priceless...my son, they made you, the "Bill".
I believe in God the Almighty, and know Conrad is with our "Lord"...I pray his killers, god will let the devil "Horde". Though my thoughts and feelings are so "Raw"...god and man...just know, it is the "Law"...
How could you take a man's life with no "disregard", and continue on with your life..trying to act so "hard"...I do pray for all involved...even those who hold the missing "card"...you saw this horrific "crime", and you wont give us any "time", just know, the LORD and the LAW...You Are Just As Guilty, if you do not come forward...of this "HORRIFIC CRIME"...
These people are guilty of the most heinous, horrific, crime Imaginable...what if it was your loved one, be it your son, your daughter, your mom, your dad, your brother, your sister, or even you...tortured...murdered...
If You Are A Witness Of This Tragedy...You Must Come Forward With What You Know...
Conrad Duran (Denver, CO)
Contact Me

Permalink Reply by kristi on February 15, 2010 at 10:40am

hi,just to update and say happy valentines day to you all.i made it throu it but it was 3 years ago this day that i had to be at the courts for the kid that killed my son so i was very mad.gull they took my valentines day away from me.doing good now thou

Permalink Reply by PAM BRYAN on February 16, 2010 at 10:10am

kristi said:

hi,just to update and say happy valentines day to you all.i made it throu it but it was 3 years ago this day that i had to be at the courts for the kid that killed my son so i was very mad.gull they took my valentines day away from me.doing good now thou

Permalink Reply by Sheryl Hysaw on February 16, 2010 at 10:27am

Hello everyone, I too just wanted to update. I have not forgotten you guys. I will forever pray for parents who have lost their child. I am doing better. We have a hearing set for March 22 and if he decides to plead not guilty, trial is set for March 25. I am almost to scared to believe that it would be that simple without some sort of rescheduling. I love you guys and thank you so much for being there in my darkest hour. God Bless you and know that there really is a blessing on the other side of through.

PAM BRYAN said:

kristi said:
hi,just to update and say happy valentines day to you all.i made it throu it but it was 3 years ago this day that i had to be at the courts for the kid that killed my son so i was very mad.gull they took my valentines day away from me.doing good now thou

Permalink Reply by Adams Mom on February 16, 2010 at 12:20pm

Carlo, get off our loss of a child site,,,,Cynthia ignore this fool,,,,the loss of a parent has no comparrison of a child, and how dare you say to her,,,,"only 17 yrs" your a fool!!!

Permalink Reply by PAM BRYAN on February 17, 2010 at 2:06am

Robbie Carey said:

I have recently lost both my sons in a car wreck. My heart feels so broken nothing seems to make sense. To only be 40 any have to live the rest of my life without them seems unbearable. To live with this feeling of loss is almost like dying too. Everyone says I have to be strong for the two children my oldest son left behind his youngest was only 7 days old, the oldest is 18 months. The thought of my grandchildern never knowing what a great dad they had or funny uncle hurts so much. I just hope that with time the grief is more managable

Permalink Reply by PAM BRYAN on February 17, 2010 at 2:07am

PAM BRYAN said:

Robbie Carey said:
I have recently lost both my sons in a car wreck. My heart feels so broken nothing seems to make sense. To only be 40 any have to live the rest of my life without them seems unbearable. To live with this feeling of loss is almost like dying too. Everyone says I have to be strong for the two children my oldest son left behind his youngest was only 7 days old, the oldest is 18 months. The thought of my grandchildern never knowing what a great dad they had or funny uncle hurts so much. I just hope that with time the grief is more managable

Permalink Reply by Celeste on February 17, 2010 at 5:33am

My name is Celeste, I am a mother of three Melaney, Ryan and Katie. It will be 10 years o April 23, 2010 that I lost my son Ryan 15, to a horrific house fire that also claimed the life of his Grandpa. I am knew to this site and wished I had found it long ago. As I found myself very alone at times. My grief could not be shared by me because I was trying to spare others, Ryans sisters (my daughters), Ryans friends, my friends, my husband, even my wx-husband who was Ryans Dad. I felt the need to make other people feel better and some how lost the ability to grief for myself as Ryans mother. I had lost my son and now had to think of how I could help everyone else get through their suffering. Some how I have made it through these years, some of which are a blurr, however I am healing now, and my family is healing. I did lose the husband through divorce, but yet I refuse to allow that husband to some how blame the death of my son for the end of the marraige. This was an only and excuse for him, something or someone to blame. This journey, the one that no one ever wants to go that is the journey of grief of losing a child, has led me to be a better human being, one at peace with herself as a mother , a woman and a friend. They use to call my son the "Gentle Giant" at 15 he was 6.5 and weighed 250, sorry New England Patriots, he would had made great team mate. Many people thought that Ryan knew something about life that many do not know, he was so kind to everyone, maybe this was his legacy like his sister said so eloquently in her eulogy to her brother Ryan, she was 18 at the time, and she stood in front of thousands of mourners and told her brothers story, Our Gentle Giant. I love you my son , we miss you every day, but do not worry we ar e happy , healthy and we have 3 new additions to our family, Alana, Desiree, and our big little boy Neko Ryan. oh you must be such a proud uncle up there where you are!

Permalink Reply by James on February 18, 2010 at 4:33pm

Robbie Carey said:

I have recently lost both my sons in a car wreck. My heart feels so broken nothing seems to make sense. To only be 40 any have to live the rest of my life without them seems unbearable. To live with this feeling of loss is almost like dying too. Everyone says I have to be strong for the two children my oldest son left behind his youngest was only 7 days old, the oldest is 18 months. The thought of my grandchildern never knowing what a great dad they had or funny uncle hurts so much. I just hope that with time the grief is more managable

Permalink Reply by Leslie L. Fiorda on February 18, 2010 at 5:02pm

Hello every 1...
I just finally got my internet back on...(in enough time to find out my puter was freezing up on me). If that was the worst of my problems, I'd be doing ok. I have really been going crazy these past weeks with-out you (this site) to keep in touch with. This has been my one and ONLY therpy senice my son passed. Please forgive me if I was going to get back with you and didn't, I really wanted to...needed to.
Just in the few weeks I was absent I see new names, and life changing tragedy's; I am praying for you, and I am grieving with you. My heart aches and breaks for each of you and I cannot express it enough on paper; with what you are now facing I have been through. I remember it so well. And I don't really want to, but I don't want to forget some things either; like his voice...his laughter, or the sound of him calling my name when he got home from school.
My son, Jordan Daniel Fiorda, was only 23 years old when he and his girlfriend both were killed in a roll over accident on April 29,2007. He was 6 foot 4" tall, light hair and green eyes. He was so funny. He could make anyone laugh .
The hard part about this, {one of the hard parts}, is for 3, almost 4 weeks; I knew something was comming. I could feel it. And every single day I TRIED to make sure I heard thier voices. (I have one daughter , two sons.) I knew it wasnt my daughter though. One of my sons. I was teaching the youth group at our church, and I constantly put them up for prayer. I would feel so strange inside, I was hurting, aching...almost as if I hadn't eaten in days and I didn't know why. I never experienced anything like it. It was hard to think about anything else, espiecally when they didnt always call me back right away.
I know what that feeling was/is now. It's the one we all go through; the vast empty pit where our hearts used to be, that feels like at times it will swallow you whole. I look back at that time and I know God was trying to prepare me for it. But nothing can... nothing did. I had a friend of mine stay with me that night, when my Jordan left. She asked me..."How can you NOT blame GOD"?
I told her..."Blame God?... Are you kidding, I am praising God that my son is a Christian". I told her, ..."I can't even imagine going through this, {AS HARD AS THIS IS} and "NOT" have hope!" What do THOSE people go through? What must THEY be feeling? To have NO HOPE...WOW.
Still, I can only feel what "I" feel. And it still hurts, and it's still empty, and I still cry, and want someone to understand, even if I don't. I know I will see Jordan again, but I want him now. I want him here, to grow up have babies, and be a dad and a grand-pa...and yes, to bury me. I know so many of you feel the same way. Some of you have had you children murdered. And we've spoken about it many times. What you face, I believe is far more difficult. You have to live with that fact that "they are still here, our/my sons are not". An extremly diffecult road for you. I do keep you in my prayers.
I didn't mean to ramble on, it has just been so long, I guess I needed to get this all out (again).
God Bless every one of you; know that we are here for each other .
.......................Leslie

P.S. Siona, I would be happy to talk with you about any part of my life. I think the more people know the more some may be able to actually "help" one of us. Too many people are afraid to even say their names...as if they never existed. Thank you all for listening. Leslie
Siona said:

Hello all.

I've been reading through these pages and my heart is just breaking; I can't imagine what each of you must be going through. I wish could write a personal reply to every post here, but I don't know what I could possibly say that would help. So perhaps this note will suffice.

And I hope you'll forgive me, as this might

Permalink Reply by Sheryl Hysaw on February 18, 2010 at 5:14pm

Mr. Michael, I read your post today. I too have been praying for the young man that killed my son. My problem is, sometimes what I pray fights against what I want to happen to him. I mean, Derrick is gone from his kids and my family. This young man is still walking around enjoying life. I want him to go to jail. I want him to admit that he was wrong and not be walking around telling people that he was protecting his sister. He told someone that he knew the charges would be dropped against him. That did not happen. The defense is now saying it was justifiable homocide! What the heck does that mean? How can that be possible when they went to my sons home, and he did not have any weapons. As a matter of fact, he didn't even know they were in the house. The boy said he fired 2 warning shots and asked my son to leave. Derrick would not go so he shot him in the leg. Then he says that's when Derrick threaten to kill him so he shot him in the heart. How in the world can this be considered justifiable homocide? In order to receive mercy, you have to ask for mercy because you recognize you are wrong! I have to forgive this boy so it does not consume me. I can't stay away from the courthouse. I want to look at him every oppurtunity I get. I have to see his face and listen to what he says in order for me to be at peace with myself, I don't know why, and maybe I'm wrong. Please keep me in your prayers.

michael fisher said:

Hello, My name is Michael and on Aug 4th 2009 i lost my 23yr old son. I was sitting at home, it was like any other day and the phone rings and my oldest son is saying Dad you need to come to the hospital, Colin's been shot.Not really thinking of the out come. But when i arrived my eldest son was waiting for me and i ask him if he was alright and that when it all began.I hugged my son and told him i was sorry and that things would be OK not knowing what that meant but thinking that was what was to be said.
We went in to the hospital , found where my son was lying went in and said goodbye but i knew he was no longer there.
Well its been almost 5 mo since his death, as we found out later he was parting with a couple guys and had been for hours and something happened and one of the boys shot him. They left him to die but he some how made to a strangers home that was with him trying to keep him a live. He told the stranger who had shot him and begged him not to let him die. but he died. I haven't been to any of the court proceedings because i feel i know more than i really need to know. I really do not have anger but i do feel a certain amount of compassion for the families of the other boys. because they lost there sons two. But i miss him every day and find myself sad a lot. What happens to those two boys will never bring my son back.
After his death i found out my son's girlfriend was expecting our first granddaughter which will be here in feburary.
Regardless how many people say they're sorry for your lose,all you can say is that your fine and time heals , which it does but it still hurts every day and until it happens to you , you have no idea how much it hurts and how much you miss them.

Permalink Reply by PAM BRYAN on February 18, 2010 at 8:59pm

YOUR SO TRUE NO ONE NOS HOW MUCH PAIN A MOM GOES THROUGH WHEN THER CHILD LEAVES,BEFORE US ITS THE PAIN NO ONE UNDERSTAND UNLESS THEY GO THROUGH IT , MY HEART AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU,AND I DONT THINK THE PAIN IS NEVER GONE WE JUST EXSIST,EVERY WERE YOU GO AT HOME GOING DOWN THE ROAD THERE IS ALWAYS THAT MISSING BABY OF OURS. MY SONS NAME IS JUSTIN AND MISSED SO MUCH, I HAVE OK DAYS AND TERRIBLE DAYS LIKE TODAY. IF I JUST GET THAT BEAR HUG AND THAT SMILE ARE ONE OF HIS STORY AND HE WAS SO GOOD TELLING THEM AND THE LAUGH NO ONE WOULD EVER HAVE LIKE IT, HE WAS 32 WHEN HE WENT TO HEAVEN AND I ALWYS THOUGHT I WOULD GO BEFORE MY CHILDREN,BUT IT DIDNT HAPPEN. JUST NO THERE IS SOMEONE WHO CARES. JUSTINS MOM PAM