Grief support for all coping with the loss of a child

Share your story and connect with others who are coping with the death of a child.

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Replies to This Discussion

Hi Tracy,my name is Elaine and I lost a infant child to. My very first child and son I lost in 1972 from respitory distress. This was my 1st child I was 19 years of age and did not know that we should not question God but I did. I ask why my child,look at the mothers that don't want their kids. I said God why you took my only child. My father was a Minister and he told me when you say the Our Father Prayer don't you pray and say let thy will be done. Also the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away and blessed be the name of the Lord. It took me Tracy a while to let go. My 1st child was born 09-04-1972,I was married 12-04-1971. This made my child 9 months exact when he was born. My 1st child died 10-22-1972. My 2nd son was born 10-21-1973 so gave me another chance in the next year with another son. But Tracy now Kris in 2006 died from a fatal car accident,he was 28 years of age. So I am still having heartaches and pain,but I am still going to the Lord asking for strength to go on. I know I will never forget them so I ask God to help me cope with it. So if you need to talk just get on your computer and talk I am here because I do know the feeling of loosing a infant child. I will be praying with you for strength and guidiance. Elaine

Tracy R. said:
I was't sure if this would be the "right" group to join, but I am in search of somewhere to talk about the passing of my infant daughter Rylee. This week was the one year anniversery of her birth (July) and her death (August) and it has been really difficult to deal with lately. Some days are better than others. Many people say things to me that just seem cruel and really do not make much sense. Just looking for others with whom I can talk to and somewhat relate to.
DearLinda,
Just know I am grieving with you. Your wound is so new, and I ache for you remembering when mine was so fresh. My son Jordan passed 04-29-07, car accident. I was, and still am, in disbelief. I sat with him as long as I could. They let me in early, and let me stay late. Stroking the outline of his nose and lips, as I did when I held him in my arms when he was first born. My hardest part was thinking about everything I did wrong as a mother, or should've done better, or different; I could only remember all of my faults. Because I couldn't even think of one single thing he'd ever done wrong. You have many questions now, some may get awnsers. Do yourself a favor, talk about him all you want. Talk about silly things , stupid things; things that made him mad, happy, laugh. Talk about it all. I love talking about my Jordan. And talk about your son too. I just found this site a few weeks ago myself, I wish I had found it much sooner, like you did. Stay on it and talk, this is the best thing I have found so far. God bless you...Leslie

Linda fitch said:
i really don/t know where to start, my son was killed in a car wreck on july 3 2009, he was only 26 and he was my baby ...and i still don't believe it . i keep thinking it is a bad dream. it can't be real . i don't know how to face this and i don't want to . i know i am going to have to get someone to talk to but it is so hard.. i am finding it hard enough typing this, good thing i don't know much about typing are i would have time to think.anyway i will be back on soon ... noone should have to go throu this.. linda
Leslie L. Fiorda said:
DearLinda,
Just know I am grieving with you. Your wound is so new, and I ache for you remembering when mine was so fresh. My son Jordan passed 04-29-07, car accident. I was, and still am, in disbelief. I sat with him as long as I could. They let me in early, and let me stay late. Stroking the outline of his nose and lips, as I did when I held him in my arms when he was first born. My hardest part was thinking about everything I did wrong as a mother, or should've done better, or different; I could only remember all of my faults. Because I couldn't even think of one single thing he'd ever done wrong. You have many questions now, some may get awnsers. Do yourself a favor, talk about him all you want. Talk about silly things , stupid things; things that made him mad, happy, laugh. Talk about it all. I love talking about my Jordan. And talk about your son too. I just found this site a few weeks ago myself, I wish I had found it much sooner, like you did. Stay on it and talk, this is the best thing I have found so far. God bless you...Leslie

Linda fitch said:
i really don/t know where to start, my son was killed in a car wreck on july 3 2009, he was only 26 and he was my baby ...and i still don't believe it . i keep thinking it is a bad dream. it can't be real . i don't know how to face this and i don't want to . i know i am going to have to get someone to talk to but it is so hard.. i am finding it hard enough typing this, good thing i don't know much about typing are i would have time to think.anyway i will be back on soon ... noone should have to go throu this.. linda
Dear ladies "mothers".....
I am so sorry for your pain. I too share in your very hard club, my son died October 27th, 2009. They said he took his own life, but I know better. He would not have done that. My heart is broken, I am not the same person, and really don't know who I am as Corey (my son) defined my life in so many ways. I agree, that keeping our sons alive in our hearts and minds is a good thing. Please don't let anyone tell you to "get over it"... we simply wont. Don't hold it back, cause that makes it hurt more, it does mine anyway. Anyway, please try to love yourself and remember his voice. Corey's been gone for almost 10 months, and I would do anything to hear his voice again.
God Bless you and let keep on talking here, it's hard, but I hope it helps.
Penny~
Penny Calkins said:
Dear ladies "mothers".....
I am so sorry for your pain. I too share in your very hard club, my son died October 27th, 2009. They said he took his own life, but I know better. He would not have done that. My heart is broken, I am not the same person, and really don't know who I am as Corey (my son) defined my life in so many ways. I agree, that keeping our sons alive in our hearts and minds is a good thing. Please don't let anyone tell you to "get over it"... we simply wont. Don't hold it back, cause that makes it hurt more, it does mine anyway. Any please try to love yourself and remember his voice. Corey's been gone for almost 10 months, and I would do anything to hear his voice again.
God Bless you and let keep on talking here, it's hard, but I hope it helps.
Penny~
I start reading some of the posting to this discussion, and its just too hard. How does one begin to get on a road where most people walk, when all your mind can do is think of the loss at hand. Mine is my daughter Trisha, the 24 yr old who lost her battle with stage 4 melanoma on June 12th of this year. Especially when I spent many a summers getting lots of sun, and not one fricken iota of melanoma. I dont get it.
Hi Penny,my name is Elaine Phillips and I share the grief and pain that you are feeling. It is easy to say go on,but it is so hard to do. There is so much heartache and pain that it will take I think years and years to repair. This was my 2nd son I had to kiss and say good-bye. Its been 37 years with the 1st son and 3 years with the 2nd son. Sometimes I feel like giving up. I do think about my son and daughter that I have with me on earth and I do realize that they need me. So yes I try hard to go on but it just hurts. I still cry wondering what it would be like if both of my sons was still here with me. I have to look at my two grand-sons face when in the company with others relatives and friends when they are with their dads. You know this really keeps me sad. My grand-sons they are now 5 & 8 years of age. It just plan hurts to see them go through this. I know God is in the plan for them and that he will take care of them. Also I know he will a father for them. I know this but they don't understand this now. I am now answering many questions now from them. I don't know why my grand-sons think or feels like I know all the answers. Some of their questions brings tears to my eyes. I THANK GOD FOR BEING HERE FOR THEM. You know Penny I could have been dead,because 1 yr. after Kris death I had a brain aneurysm while driving on the I-10 interstate in Baton Rouge,La. Listen I had an aneurysm,I hit 3 cars and 2 cars hit me than I hit the bridge. After all of this I am still here.With Kris accident he was just taken away,just his car was involved. His SUV flipped and killed instanlty. So I know the grief,pain and heartache that you are feeling. I will keep you in my prayers with the rest of the club The Loss Of A Child. That says a lot right there,and no matter which way you lost your child,it is still heartache and pains with the lost of a child. May God be with you and Keep you,may GOD grant you with all the strength that you need right now to help you while going through your rough times. Penny write anytime I am here for you. Like I tell everyone try and craeate a Legacy Memorial Site for your son like I and many others did. This I know will make you smile in time. When I first created Kris Memorial Site I use to cry everytime I would sign on to it. Now sometimes I can smile and see and look at all the great memories that we shared together. So try the Memorial Web site.Here is my son Web site,visit it when you feel up to it. (http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/wemissyoukrisJP/homepageaspx)

Penny Calkins said:
Penny Calkins said:
Dear ladies "mothers".....
I am so sorry for your pain. I too share in your very hard club, my son died October 27th, 2009. They said he took his own life, but I know better. He would not have done that. My heart is broken, I am not the same person, and really don't know who I am as Corey (my son) defined my life in so many ways. I agree, that keeping our sons alive in our hearts and minds is a good thing. Please don't let anyone tell you to "get over it"... we simply wont. Don't hold it back, cause that makes it hurt more, it does mine anyway. Any please try to love yourself and remember his voice. Corey's been gone for almost 10 months, and I would do anything to hear his voice again.
God Bless you and let keep on talking here, it's hard, but I hope it helps.
Penny~
Hi Tammy,my name is Elaine Phillips and feel your pain to. Like I was telling Penny look at me,I had a aneurysm while driving,hit 3 cars and 2 cars hit me and than I hit the bridge. Thank God No one was hurt and I also had 3 grand-kids in the car with me. Look with Kris,just his car was involved,his SUV flipped and he was killed instantly. So you I know how you feel. I know you feel angry and a lot of pain. But Tammy I never questioned God on why my sons. I do say now Lord don't let me have to bury any more of my kids. You know I thought for a long time that kids would bury their parents,but I guess I was wrong. We in New Orleans on the death of a person we have tee shirts made. On Kris tee shirt it says GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES. Don't Be Sad That I Am Gone/Be Glad That I am Home. You know Tammy it took me a long time to accept the words. I do think that Kris would love for me to feel this way,but knowing me he knows that I am sad. I am good at encouraging everyone else,but it is so hard for me to take my own advice. So Tammy I will pray with you and the club The Loss Of A Child Asking GOD to strenghten us and help us to gone on with our battle,hard struggling,heartaches and pain. Write when you want to talk,feeling sad or crying because I am still crying after 3 years. If you would like to or feel up to veiwing Kris MemorialSite(http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/wemissyoukrisJP/homepageaspx)
Tammy said:
I start reading some of the posting to this discussion, and its just too hard. How does one begin to get on a road where most people walk, when all your mind can do is think of the loss at hand. Mine is my daughter Trisha, the 24 yr old who lost her battle with stage 4 melanoma on June 12th of this year. Especially when I spent many a summers getting lots of sun, and not one fricken iota of melanoma. I dont get it.
Elaine Banks Phillips said:
Hi Tammy,my name is Elaine Phillips and feel your pain to. Like I was telling Penny look at me,I had a aneurysm while driving,hit 3 cars and 2 cars hit me and than I hit the bridge. Thank God No one was hurt and I also had 3 grand-kids in the car with me. Look with Kris,just his car was involved,his SUV flipped and he was killed instantly. So you I know how you feel. I know you feel angry and a lot of pain. But Tammy I never questioned God on why my sons. I do say now Lord don't let me have to bury any more of my kids. You know I thought for a long time that kids would bury their parents,but I guess I was wrong. We in New Orleans on the death of a person we have tee shirts made. On Kris tee shirt it says GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES. Don't Be Sad That I Am Gone/Be Glad That I am Home. You know Tammy it took me a long time to accept the words. I do think that Kris would love for me to feel this way,but knowing me he knows that I am sad. I am good at encouraging everyone else,but it is so hard for me to take my own advice. So Tammy I will pray with you and the club The Loss Of A Child Asking GOD to strenghten us and help us to gone on with our battle,hard struggling,heartaches and pain. Write when you want to talk,feeling sad or crying because I am still crying after 3 years. If you would like to or feel up to veiwing Kris MemorialSite(http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/wemissyoukrisJP/homepageaspx)
Tammy said:
I start reading some of the posting to this discussion, and its just too hard. How does one begin to get on a road where most people walk, when all your mind can do is think of the loss at hand. Mine is my daughter Trisha, the 24 yr old who lost her battle with stage 4 melanoma on June 12th of this year. Especially when I spent many a summers getting lots of sun, and not one fricken iota of melanoma. I dont get it.
My name is Veronica and the 31st of this month will be a year since I saw my son Everett. On the 28th of October will be a year ago that I was told the torso that was foud in the river on September 14th was my son. I never thought that this could happen to anyone. He was a loving person and loved everyone. He was 38. It hurts everyday. It is said that God will never leave us but I feel so alone. I have good people in my life but sometimes I feel they don't understand what I'm really feeling.I'm sitting here now khurting was if it was Oct. 28th all overagain. Every day seem like that day. I have good days and bad ones and hurting everyday.
I know how you feel. I just had the one year anniv. of my son Josh's sudden death . He was the one trapped in the car upside down and he drowned. I was really suprised at the emotional state I was in the day before the anniv. The day of, it was like I was right back in the beginning. So be prepared. I ended up going to my daughters because all his friends kept calling and wanting to come over and I had nothing left to give them but tears. I thought I truly was going to die that night, all over again. But for some odd reason I am still here.
Hang in there, Sweetie... we are all in this together.
email me if you want to: sm1sue@hotmail.com
Sincerely with love,
Sue

Veronica said:
My name is Veronica and the 31st of this month will be a year since I saw my son Everett. On the 28th of October will be a year ago that I was told the torso that was foud in the river on September 14th was my son. I never thought that this could happen to anyone. He was a loving person and loved everyone. He was 38. It hurts everyday. It is said that God will never leave us but I feel so alone. I have good people in my life but sometimes I feel they don't understand what I'm really feeling.I'm sitting here now khurting was if it was Oct. 28th all overagain. Every day seem like that day. I have good days and bad ones and hurting everyday.
hi sue,my son died 3 years ago oct 7th,2006 and his name was everette to but he got shot by his friend and he was 16 his birthday will be coming up sept 12th and the annivesary date will be coming up.i took a vaction last week for the first time since my son passed away we didnt go anywere so when i was home everything came throu my head what happened to him and stuff.i have been going this for 3 years and i adopeted a highway and on the first weekend in oct i sit and invite my family and friends so i can have them by me like the day i had to bury my son.this year he would of graduated they donated a year book to my family.well thanks for listening and i hope everything goes well kristi
Sue said:
I know how you feel. I just had the one year anniv. of my son Josh's sudden death . He was the one trapped in the car upside down and he drowned. I was really suprised at the emotional state I was in the day before the anniv. The day of, it was like I was right back in the beginning. So be prepared. I ended up going to my daughters because all his friends kept calling and wanting to come over and I had nothing left to give them but tears. I thought I truly was going to die that night, all over again. But for some odd reason I am still here.
Hang in there, Sweetie... we are all in this together.
email me if you want to: sm1sue@hotmail.com
Sincerely with love,
Sue

Veronica said:
My name is Veronica and the 31st of this month will be a year since I saw my son Everett. On the 28th of October will be a year ago that I was told the torso that was foud in the river on September 14th was my son. I never thought that this could happen to anyone. He was a loving person and loved everyone. He was 38. It hurts everyday. It is said that God will never leave us but I feel so alone. I have good people in my life but sometimes I feel they don't understand what I'm really feeling.I'm sitting here now khurting was if it was Oct. 28th all overagain. Every day seem like that day. I have good days and bad ones and hurting everyday.

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