Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by kristi on September 1, 2008 at 9:55pm

your welcome maybe we can be support for each other that day,that is good for your kids to help out i have a 20 year old and a 12 year old to.thanks kristi

Permalink Reply by kristi on September 10, 2008 at 10:31pm

HI SUSAN,WELL I HOPE YOUR DAY GOES GOOD ON FRIDAY I WILL BE THINKING OF YOU,MY SONS FRIENDS BIRTHDAY WAS SEPT 6TH AND ALL I DID WAS CRY ALL WEEKEND BECAUSE HE TURNED 18,I CRIED AT THE STORE,AT CHURCH AND I HAVE NEVER DID THAT.SO I HOPE THIS FRIDAY WE BOTH HAVE A GOOD DAY.TAKE CARE AND WRITE WHEN YOU CAN.KRISTI

Permalink Reply by Susan on September 11, 2008 at 10:17pm

Hi Kisti,
All I've done is cry today. I had to take Daniel's base id card back today because of his birthday it expired 9/12. I went to the store today and cried as I walked the aisle. Everyone just looks at me and keep walking.

I hope you have a good weekend. I know you will be lost.

My daughter want to make a cake and go to the grave sited and have a birthday for Daniel. I am going to do that.

Say a pray and wish your son a Happy Birthday and you know he will blow you a kiss from the stars.

Because I felt Daniel tonight when I took the trash out. I felt him and smell him. And I told him I Love him.

Take care of yourself Susan

Permalink Reply by kristi on September 11, 2008 at 11:17pm

thank you susan.yes thats what they say to do and to make his favorite thing.but my son was not picky what you could do is make his favorite plate to and than make a plate for him and bring it out there to that way he can eat to,my husband is native american and thats what they tell him to do on his birthday and if you having something and you think of your son,put it outside for him,it can be by his favorite place or by the woods if you dont want to go to the cemetary,i have to work saturday and it is suppose to rain all weekend were we are so i dont know,but i will try.thank you and you have a nice weekend to.i will be thinking of all of your family tomorrow.kristi

Permalink Reply by Cheryl on September 10, 2008 at 5:54pm

Hi Kristi my heart goes out to you in regard to the death of your son. It is an overwhelming ordeal that mere words cannot erase. I noticed that you blame God for your loss. The truth is: God did not take your son. One thing to think of is, is the Creator really so cruel that he would capriciously inflict death on children, knowing that this breaks the hearts of their paretns? No, not the God of the Bible, according to 1 John 4:8 "God is Love". Rather than blame God, Kristi look to the comfort offered in your copy of the Bible. The Bible tells us that the dead are unconscious, in a condition best compared to sleep Ecclesiastes 9:5 Jesus spoke of a time when " all those in the memorial tombs" would "come out" to renewed life in a paradise earth. Psalms 37:9-11,29, John 5:28,29 and Luke 23:43 True that hope does not take all the tragedy out of death. Jesus himself broke down and cried over the death of his friend Lazarus, and that was just minutes before he resurrected him! Jehovah the God of the Bible hates death. The Bible calls death the "last enemy" and says that it will be brought to nothing. 1 Corinthians 15:26. In the coming Paradise, death will be gone forever. That is the hope and comfort from the Bible.
Notice an account in your Bible at Luke 7:11-17, after you read this account, imagine how the women must have felt! How would you feel to receive your son back again from the dead? Revelation 21:4. This account shows that Jesus truly loves people and wants to help them. This is what Jehovah the Almighty God is promising us! I hope reading this letter and those scriptures bring you some hope and comfort.

Permalink Reply by kristi on September 10, 2008 at 10:28pm

thank you CHERYL i will read up on this,I WILL BRING SOMETHING UP THAT WILK BREAK YOUR HEART THIS 2 YEAR OLD DIED FROM A BLIND STRING ON THE WINDOW.MY FRIEND WENT TO THE FUNERAL THE MOTHER STOOD UP THERE AND SAID THAT HER OTHER DAUGHTER HAD CANCER AND THAT SHE THOUGHT THAT WAS THE WORSE THING SHE HAS EVER BEEN THROU.BUT SHE ASKED PEOPLE AT THE CHURCH TO PRAY FOR HER FAMILY AS THEY GRIEF.AND SHE SAID THAT SHE GOT THROU IT WITH THE LORD JESUS CHRIST AND HER FAITH.I HAVE BEEN GOING TO CHURCH,I HAVE BEEN HAVING A DIFFCULT TIME WITH MY SON TURNING 18 ON FRIDAY AND IT IS HARD BECAUSE I DONT KNOW WHAT HE WOULD LOOK LIKE NOW OR ANYTHING.BUT I WILL READ THESE VERSES FRIDAY OR THIS WEEKEND.THANK YOU VERY MUCH,BUT YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO BLAME SOMEONE,AND I BLAMED THE DOCTOR AND NURSES,I BLAMED THE KID THAT SHOT HIM,I BLAMED THE MOM,MY HUSBAND BLAMED THE GRANDPA FOR BUYING HIM HIS FIRST GUN,AND IT WAS A 30 ODD 6.AND I BLAMED GOD.I AM TRYING TO GET OVER BLAMING EVERYONE,I FORGAVE THE BOY AND THE NURSES I DIDNT GO TO THE DOCTOR YET AND TALK TO HIM,MAYBE WHEN MY HEART FEELS LIKE IT.AND I WILL FORGIVE GOD WHEN AND WERE I HAVE THE TIME.I GUESS HE PUT US ON THIS EARTH HE CAN TAKE US OUT OF IT RIGHT?BUT MY HEART ACHES,HAVE YOU LOST A CHILD?TO THINK THAT I SHOULD READ THESE?IT IS HARD YOU CAN GET OVER IT,ITS ALMOST BEEN 2 YEARS AND I HAVE MY FRIENDS WERE I LIVE TO HELP ME OUT AND HERE AND STUFF.BUT MY FAMILY DOESNT LIVE BY ME TO HELP ME OUT.SO THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO WRITE,YOU CAN WRITE TO ME ANY TIME.THANK YOU KRISTI

Permalink Reply by Cheryl on September 11, 2008 at 3:13pm

Hi Kristi

I have 3 boys and I cant even begin to understand how you must feel, however i do have empathy for you. I have dealt with death before, my grandmother as well as my uncle. I know it is not the same as a child, however, I do miss them dearly.The only thing that I hold on to is knowing that one day it is only Jehovah God that can bring them back to life. Also I know that the reason that we suffer and deal with death is because of Satan the Devil. If Adam and Eve would have obeyed God, they would have never gotten sick and died. Suffering was not part of Jehovah's purpose for mankind. But Jehovah clearly told Adam that continued enjoyment of what He had given them depended on obedience. Obviously, they had to breathe, eat, drink, and sleep in order to continue living. And they had to keep God’s moral requirements in order to enjoy life fully and to be favored with such life forever. But they chose to go their own way, to set their own standards of good and bad, and thus they turned away from God, the Life-Giver. (Gen. 2:16, 17; 3:1-6) Sin led to death. It was as sinners that Adam and Eve produced children, and they could not pass on to their children what they no longer had. All were born in sin, with inclinations toward wrongdoing, weaknesses that could lead to illness, a sinful inheritance that would eventually result in death. Because everyone on earth today was born in sin, all of us experience suffering in various ways.—Gen. 8:21; Rom. 5:12.

Ecclesiastes 9:11 says that “time and unforeseen occurrence” also have a bearing on what happens to us. We may get hurt, not because the Devil directly causes it or because any human does it, but because by chance we are in a place at the wrong moment.God is not the one who is causing the suffering. But by means of Jesus Christ, God will raise the dead, heal obedient ones of all their illnesses, root out every trace of sin, and even cause former grief to fade from our minds.—John 5:28, 29; Rev. 21:4; Isa. 65:17.

I look forward to seeing my grandmother and my uncle right here on the earth when Jehovah God has made the earth a paradise. Keeping those things in mind helps me to keep my focus, and then it brings me joy to go and tell others who have dealt with death of a loved one, that yes the Bible promises that we will see our loved ones again very soon.

Permalink Reply by kristi on September 11, 2008 at 3:52pm

cheryl,thank you again.but i stopped going to church after my son died because i believed in my heart that he told this friend of my sons to shoot him because he needed a teenager up there to help us out.he took my son and the kid did to.i blamed both of them plus the doctor.and for like 2 months now i havebeen back to church i have been in my soul trying to forgive him andwhat the minister said if you have sinned or havent forgave god for something please do not take the communion so i didnt,i dont think i should of because i have not forgave him for what he has done to my family and to me.i am hurting today and probly tomorrow i have nothing at allfor me not to feel the way i do.well i lost my grandma and i lost 2 aunts the month before my son died and i lost a uncle last year,and i feel loosing my son is hurting me more than the loss of my uncle and aunts,because you give birth to them,you see them get off to school you watch them walk youdont do that for uncles or aunts.i am lutheran, and i believe if i read the bible and go to church and listen i should be able to forgive him,it might not be tomorrow or it might not be sunday or sometime butit will come were i will forgive him.thanks for listening.

Permalink Reply by Cynthia on November 2, 2008 at 2:21pm

Dear Maritta,
Words cannot describe the intense feelings you are experiencing during these early months after your loss. My deepest, heartfelt sympathy goes out to you. The passing of a child IS the most painful loss of all and cannot be compared with the loss of a parent or friend. It seems so senseless when young people leave us so soon. Our children are our whole life. We nurture them before they are even born, have hopes and dreams for them, and in return they give us much pride and joy.


I wish I had some words that may ease your pain. Although we all work through our grief in different ways, most tend to go through similar stages. I did a lot of reading during the first year and eventually felt strong enough to join a support group that was specifically for parents who had lost a child. Later I joined and co-facilitated a Compassionate Friends support group. If no one has told you about Compassionate Friends you might want to check them out on line. Their website is http://www.compassionatefriends.org/About_Us/Our_Mission.aspx.

Please contact me again. It may be easier for you to talk about your feelings with someone who has had a similar experience. I found it very difficult to talk with my own family (even though we are very close) because it seemed to upset them too much - for them to see me in so much pain.

Cynthia

Permalink Reply by Lisa on November 9, 2008 at 2:11pm

My son has been gone 7 weeks now. He was 19 and was riding bikes with friends when he lost control of his bike and fell under the back wheels of a fully loaded 18 wheeler hauling milk to Kraft foods around the corner from our house. That happened on September 14, 2008 i also have 3 other children 16 year twins and 13 year old girl. They wouldnt let me go up to be with him they said he died instantly. Its so hard to accept he is gone. I would give anything to touch his soft black hair again and tell him how much i love him. Why couldnt that truck wait one more minute for those kids to get out of the way. How am i supposed to live 50 more years missing him this much. The longer he is gone it seems the harder it gets. Thank you for listening...Lisa

Permalink Reply by kristi on November 9, 2008 at 2:46pm

my son was 16,and he got shot by his friend and we see this kid and my heart stops,his mom can see anger still in our eyes,when he was going throu court stuff i kept saying why did he do this and you know they never answered me,like why did he count the bullets going in the gun,but not count them going out.why did he point the gun at my son.the whys will never stop,i will say that much on holidays i cry i go out to the cemetary and cry,even on his birthday we all stay home from work and school for his birthday because thats what he did.i take off on the day he died to.i adopted a highway sign for him so all of us can get together and think about him as were walking.i have 2 other children one that is 21,and one is 12.i think my 12 year old son missing him alot.i am going to try and find him a big brother so that they can do stuff with him.
when my son passed away it took me a long time to finally realize i wasnt going to get a phone call any more,he wasnt going to walk throu the door.i waited up all night the night he got shot for a phone call to say come pick me up.even his friend didnt call,the one house he was at.the friends grandparents were in the other room and didnt here a thing till they went in there and woke him up.the kid was going to run away but my son told him to stay there till the end.what hurts me the most is that everyone heard him say if i dont make it tell my mom and dad i love them.that what hurts me even the cops said it to us what he said to them.and one other thing is we could not see my son for the last time it hurts me so bad that we couldnt see him the last time before they took him for an autapsy they said he was evidents.we only seen him in a body bag.we couldnt even say good bye till 3 days later.i miss him alot and i wish that kid would of died instead,the kid was only 15 when he shot him.he got 2,300 in restitution 200 community service,probation till he is 19 which he is 17 now going to be 18 in dec.he gets to have a girlfriend,go to prom he got crowned king.they all must of felt bad for him,he gets to graduate in 2009.and he gets to get married and have kids if he wants to know.enough about me i am sorry i needed to vent to.
what did the truck turn the corner and run into him or what?i cant imagine what your going throu because mine died of something else but they were are children.to tell you the truth it might of been to hard for you to see.my friend at work lost her husband he bought a motorcycle and it was raining and he just bought it.that weekend was coming home and went under a semi truck and died.it took her a long time for her to get over it to.but she is ok until everything comes up like birthdays and annivesarys and stuff.well i hope you talk about him like he is still there.make a cake on his birthday take it to the cemetary.so are you going to do anything about the truck driver?we didnt do anything to the kid the state did.we had nothing to do with it.i hope they do something.did you put a cross were he died?i was going to do that but people said we couldnt because that is not right.because it happened in the house not outside.well take care of your self.i am here always to talk.because i think we could help each other alot.thanks for listening kristi.

Permalink Reply by Susan on November 9, 2008 at 3:22pm

Hi Kristi,

Susan here. I am sorry I haven't been on here much. Friday I got some of my answer in Daniel's death {My Son} . I didn't like what the want they had to say much. But like you I have to live next to my son's friend that he went out with. They walk the street, they laugh and have fun, just like nothing ever happen. I sit in the house are in the backyard and just cry. Hoping to hear my phone ring and say mom I am ready come and get me. But that day will not come. I will never have grandkids from him. And I will never have a daughter in law from him. I feel like I have been robbery of that. He will never be the big brother to his little sister and his little neice [she] will never know his love, that he was welling to give. I will have to live with that for know. And one day I will find all the answer to what happen that night. I too can not put a cross up because he died in the house.
Thanks Susan Wright { Daniel Lee Wright 09/12/84 to 08/13/2008}

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