Grief support for all coping with the loss of a child

Share your story and connect with others who are coping with the death of a child.

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After a Tragedy: What Kids Can Do

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Replies to This Discussion

Dear Blakes Mom;
What a tragedy, (another one); my heart is with you, and my prayers. On Jordan's birthday I had family and friends come and we got together at the crash site. (The crash site is in an remote area, and we had already made two Iron cross's, one for him, and one for his girlfriend that also passed. It was already my memoriel place to go, and I always felt closer to him there then the cementary). But we brought a helium tank and lots of balloons to fill up. We wrote messages on them and exactly at the time he passed away, we let them go. We prayed together and cried together, and later had some kind of dinner,(someone bought some sandwiches). It felt warming to hear some new stories from his friends. I hadn't had the chance to at Jordan's funeral. And I needed to do something, after all it "is" my sons birthday. If your son loved fishing, go fishing for him; he will be right there with you no matter what you do. I hope you do something, anything. As his Mother...you always have; and you will not feel right if you don't. I hope this gave you an Idea, or two. God Bless you, you are in my prayers. ............Leslie

mary said:
I just found out my oldest son is going to have a baby. My 2nd son just bought a house and because my heart is still broken from the loss of Vincent and Stephen, I am having a very hard time being at all happy. I dont know how to get myself out of this...It just seems as though everyone is getting on with their lives but me... Im still so sick and depressed. I don't know how to act like I am happy for them but I want to be... I just can't right now. Is that wrong?

Blake's Mom said:
My oldest son, Blake, 20 died from injuries from a motorcycle accident, 06/07/09. My youngest son, his girlfriend and my husband and myself were in Florida on vacation. Blake had just started a new job, 3 months, and could not take off to go. My heart is broken. I have a hard time with everything. Blake still lived at home. I have not ever had a birthday or holiday without him. His birthday 10/14, he would have been 21. I am not sure what we should do for his birthday. I have joined Compassionate Friends. Which helps to let me know others feel the same as I do. As you can tell, my thoughts are all over the place.
Dear Mary...
You are not grieveing too much. There is no such thing. When people told me that, it was always the ones who had never lost a child. One lady told me to get over it and that Jesus wanted me to be happy now. I couldnt believe it. I told her...When your daughter dies, give me a call. I do not wish this upon anyone, not her, not my worst enemy (if I have any). But I do know in the Bible it does say..."A time to reap, a time to sow..... ....and a time to grieve." It says it will last a season....what is a season to God, I don't know yet. But I do know this is "MY" time to grieve. Just know I am grieveing with you. We all share your pain, and your lonliness. Nothing can take their place, nothing can feel their space that belongs to them alone in your heart. I am praying for you, and for understanding to those around you. .........Leslie

mary said:
Ive only had one good dream...the rest were seeing them drowning and what happened...it was all too vivid. I wasn't there when it happened they were with their dad and i did not go up after it happened... I knew it would kill me...I didnt have to go...I've seen it all. I stayed home because I would have had to stay at a campground that night after they found them 100 ft deep....I couldnt bare it! My brother begged me not to go, so we stayed home and prayed that they were found and when I heard that they were still holding each other still after seven hours... I broke down in tears but with pride that I raised my sons to love one another so much that they would take care of each other to the end. I honestly dont know what I would have done if I was there... I would have frozen...Vincent died a hero....but he died too. Ohhhh...I cant even think about it... I wish I could stop. Ive gone to a counselor...she says I am doing very well...on the inside though the feeling..as you all know...cant be described to anyone else!

Someone told me I am grieving too much for them to come to me, however one night I woke up sobbing after seeing them in my dream. Stephen said Mom I had to go away for a while..I couldnt speak..I just hugged him and started to sob. He said look behind you and I turned and there was Vincent smiling at me. I just grabbed him and started to hug him tight as I sobbed really hard. I woke up sobbing in my sleep...loudly...all alone. My dog even jumped up on the bed to make sure I was alright :). I felt sad but good..at least they came to me.
I just pray to God that my family is all together in heaven...Ive struggled with that even though my Faith tells me it's true...some times I just seem to forget that and wonder.....but then...the feeling comes back that they are.

Their friends and esp Stephen's little gf tell me that Stephen talks to her all the time.,,,I do believe that! He said she was his soul mate...imagine at 19 yo! People have told me they have dreams about Vince too...giving them advice like he always did. Figures, I have to kind of smirk...typical teenagers and young adults...going to their friends first huh? Boy...figures! I think though that I would feel better if they came to me more...maybe people are right...Im just too emotionally distraught...who knows? :(

Judy said:
Hi Mary,
One thing that gives me comfort is the belief that immediately after the accident, God was there to take my son to heaven and be reunited with his grandfathers. The other thing that gives me comfort is knowing that even though he is not here, he is still with me in spirit. I've been blessed to have many dreams and visions of him. While they seemed real to me, I know most people thought they were just a figment of imagination. Last week, I received a long, beautiful letter from an old acquaintance of his. In it, she told me of a very profound dream she'd had of Jack, in which he told her that he was a guardian angel to his brother and would be one to her too if she needed him because he was "really getting the hang of the whole guardian angel thing." When he left her, he departed with a "band of angels" and they were all radiant. I was overcome as I read her letter because I have had the exact same dreams, down to the band of angels and the glowing radiance. It took so much for this girl to write to me because we don't know each other well, but I believe Jack chose her for this dream because he knew she would feel compelled to tell me, and in the process validate my own dreams. I like to think that those who die so young are still here, still experiencing things, still part of our lives though in a different way.
Kristi....I was with you all day...it was my sons b-day the day before...but it's lasted through-out the week-end , even until now. I thought about you, even told my daughter about you and your son. I am trying to get her to come on this site as well. I think it will help her also. Still you are in my prayers.....Leslie

kristi said:
hi elaine.i made it thou the day with tears all day down my face.i couldnt sleep i havent eaten much so maybe i lost weight.but happy birthday late if i am saying it right it was your birthday not kris's right?thank you for your concern and my prayers are with everyone that lost a child.my heart pounded today while i was a church this couple lost there son for about an hour and a half but the church prayed and than they called about an hour later and said they found him.i guess prayers do work.but thanks for your concern and i hope you are doing good to.thanks againkristi
Elaine Banks Phillips said:
Hi Leslie,thanks for viewing kris web site. It really helps and comfort me. I can go back and remember some the happy occasions together when Kris was here with me. My heart goes out for you Leslie and also Kristi. I pray and ask God for strength for all who has lost a child. If you never been through it than you don't know how we feel. Take care Leslie and Kristi because God will be with us until the end Elaine

Leslie L. Fiorda said:
I visited your web-site, What a Beautiful boy....Leslie

Elaine Banks Phillips said:
Kristi,here is the website again. I was missing one period. (http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/wemissyoukrisJP/homepage.aspx) Lets see if this one works. Elaine
Well tomorrow is here and it is going to be the hardest day yet to pass. It's my son birthday and I have wrote a poem for it but I will post it tomorrow. I really did not want this day to come and it is here so fast it seems. He would have been 19 years old and I remember when he turned 1 years old. Oh how I miss him so much I do. And when he turned 18 he told me he did not want to be 18 because that meant I would not be there for him anymore..and I told him I am 39 and my mother is still in my life I am not going no where. And he laughed at me it is so hard really hard and I miss him so much. I will talk him a cake and place it on his grave I never thought I would be doing that ever..my son my baby how I miss you and tomorrow is your day Birthday...my son..I love you
it is hard and it has been 9 months now he has gone and it hurts like it was yesterday and now its his birthday and he missed his daughter I thought that was hard. But tomorrow is going to be hard because that is my baby my son.
well my son love and miss you
love mom
HI TWILA,MY SON WOULD OF TURNED 19 ON SEPT 12TH,AND I WENT TO THE CEMETARY AND MADE HIM HIS FAVORITE FOOD AND CAKE AND GAVE IT TO HIM,CAME HOME AND SAT ON THE COMPUTER AND ALL THE WHILE I WAS SITTING ON THE COMPUTER I WAS SAYING WHAT IF,WHAT IF I COULD OF DID THIS WOULD OF IT HAPPENED.AND WHAT WOULD HE OF LOOKED LIKE AT 19 IT IS HARD BECAUSE I LOST MINE AT 16 AND EVERY YEAR I GO AND STAND AT HIS GRAVE SIDE WONDERING WHAT WOULD OF HE LOOKED LIKE.I HAVE ANOTHER SON AND HE IS 13 BUT 3 YEARS DOWN THE LINE I WILL PROBLY START ASKING MYSELF IF MY OTHER SONE WOULD OF LOOKED LIKE HIM.BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUR SON TOMORROW.I HAD TEARS ALL DAY FRIDAY AND ALL DAY SATURDAY.IT ISNT A EASY DAY.BUT MY FRIENDS ALL SAY I AM STRONG AND I WILL MAKE IT THROU AND I DID.EXCEPT ALL MY FAMILY LEFT ME A LONE ALL DAY THEY USUALLY DO IN CASE I WANT TO CRY OR SOMETHING.BUT TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF THANKS KRISTI

Twila said:
Well tomorrow is here and it is going to be the hardest day yet to pass. It's my son birthday and I have wrote a poem for it but I will post it tomorrow. I really did not want this day to come and it is here so fast it seems. He would have been 19 years old and I remember when he turned 1 years old. Oh how I miss him so much I do. And when he turned 18 he told me he did not want to be 18 because that meant I would not be there for him anymore..and I told him I am 39 and my mother is still in my life I am not going no where. And he laughed at me it is so hard really hard and I miss him so much. I will talk him a cake and place it on his grave I never thought I would be doing that ever..my son my baby how I miss you and tomorrow is your day Birthday...my son..I love you
it is hard and it has been 9 months now he has gone and it hurts like it was yesterday and now its his birthday and he missed his daughter I thought that was hard. But tomorrow is going to be hard because that is my baby my son.
well my son love and miss you
love mom
Deart Kristi...and Twila...
Our sons birthdays, all three of them, with-in a day of each other. I was thinking about the multitudes in heaven...and how many more may be born on these three days. What kind of party could they have had? All the most famous people in the world. But can you imagine having cake and ice cream with Moses. I am just rambling on, as if in a dream. Dreams are all I have left...I know it sounds stupid, but maybe, just maybe one little piece of it is real.
Thought I would share...Love and Prayers, Leslie

September 11, 2009
NOT WANTING TO LET YOU GO

From the time of your conception,
Til the time that you were due.
From before you saw the sunlight
With-in my heart you grew.

I'll not forget those tiny hands,
That seemed to need me so.
I help'd you as you took each step,
not wanting to let you go.

It feels like only yesterday,
That I signed you up for school.
Jr. high has passed me by,
So fast, I feel the fool.

You seem to grow so big and strong,
Baseball was your game.
Remember that scout, who sought you out,
And asked for you by name.

I cherish every memory,
Each and every single one.
And I pray that up in Heaven
Your Birthday there is fun.

And forgive me son for crying,
It's just hard with-out you here.
I wonder if you miss me too.
Or wish that I was near.

I think back to yester-year
Though not so long ago.
I feel inside the same old fear
Not wanting to let you go.

I love you and I miss you,
And I am not the only one.
And I know someday we'll meet again.
When our journey here is done.

Love Mom...Happy Birthday Jordan!

kristi said:
HI TWILA,MY SON WOULD OF TURNED 19 ON SEPT 12TH,AND I WENT TO THE CEMETARY AND MADE HIM HIS FAVORITE FOOD AND CAKE AND GAVE IT TO HIM,CAME HOME AND SAT ON THE COMPUTER AND ALL THE WHILE I WAS SITTING ON THE COMPUTER I WAS SAYING WHAT IF,WHAT IF I COULD OF DID THIS WOULD OF IT HAPPENED.AND WHAT WOULD HE OF LOOKED LIKE AT 19 IT IS HARD BECAUSE I LOST MINE AT 16 AND EVERY YEAR I GO AND STAND AT HIS GRAVE SIDE WONDERING WHAT WOULD OF HE LOOKED LIKE.I HAVE ANOTHER SON AND HE IS 13 BUT 3 YEARS DOWN THE LINE I WILL PROBLY START ASKING MYSELF IF MY OTHER SONE WOULD OF LOOKED LIKE HIM.BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUR SON TOMORROW.I HAD TEARS ALL DAY FRIDAY AND ALL DAY SATURDAY.IT ISNT A EASY DAY.BUT MY FRIENDS ALL SAY I AM STRONG AND I WILL MAKE IT THROU AND I DID.EXCEPT ALL MY FAMILY LEFT ME A LONE ALL DAY THEY USUALLY DO IN CASE I WANT TO CRY OR SOMETHING.BUT TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF THANKS KRISTI

Twila said:
Well tomorrow is here and it is going to be the hardest day yet to pass. It's my son birthday and I have wrote a poem for it but I will post it tomorrow. I really did not want this day to come and it is here so fast it seems. He would have been 19 years old and I remember when he turned 1 years old. Oh how I miss him so much I do. And when he turned 18 he told me he did not want to be 18 because that meant I would not be there for him anymore..and I told him I am 39 and my mother is still in my life I am not going no where. And he laughed at me it is so hard really hard and I miss him so much. I will talk him a cake and place it on his grave I never thought I would be doing that ever..my son my baby how I miss you and tomorrow is your day Birthday...my son..I love you
it is hard and it has been 9 months now he has gone and it hurts like it was yesterday and now its his birthday and he missed his daughter I thought that was hard. But tomorrow is going to be hard because that is my baby my son.
well my son love and miss you
love mom
My son 19th birthday and he is not here…09/17/2009

My heart is broken without you here on our special day my son your Birthday 09-17-2009

I think about you and wish you were still here so much to celebrate your 19th Birthday with us my son

My heart misses you more and more each day that passes without you here.

I ask myself over and over again “why did you have to go so fast my son”

And now it’s your Birthday 09-17-2009 this is the hardest day to be without you my son my baby boy.

You meant the world to me my son the day you were born 09-17-1990 and I kissed you for the first time my son and I will never forgot when you were placed in my arms for the first time. And I will never forget the day you left I kissed you one last time.

The way I would make you laugh and hug you on this day that was yours for 18 years, your Birthday my son

I never got a chance to say goodbye to you my son and I don’t want to yet.

So please don't worry for me my son, I know that you are still with me my son I can feel you around me and in my heart and soul.

Every time I look outside and watch other children playing how I think of you my son, I just wish you were by my side on this day your Birthday.

I miss you so much my words can't even describe how I feel today on your Birthday my son and the heartache I feel today.

I wish I could tell you one more time how much I love you my son but I know you knew just how much I loved you.

Only time is keeping you and me apart and when it’s my time we will be together my son.

Because the love between Mother and Son there are no goodbye.

I want to say Happy Birthday 09/17/2009 my son I love you Mom.

today is hard and thank all of you for your words and reading all your story of your children helps me to understand and get through this day. thank you and I love all of you and we all understand and know the heartache. May god hear all our prayers for our children and reunite us one day..and how all the Birthday are in the same month they must be having a big party and that is a comfort to me.
it is hard to day but I am cooking all his favorite food and taken to him with his cake. it is hard.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BABY MY SON.
I LOVE YOU MOM
Hi Twila,this is Elaine Phillips and I would love to tell you and Kristi son HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I know Kris Bar-B-Que for them"SMILE" Well I am glad that we have each other to count on. May God keep shinning his blessing of strength to us. This we really need to carry on. I am still praying for our family "The Lost Of A Child" Elaine
Twila said:
My son 19th birthday and he is not here…09/17/2009

My heart is broken without you here on our special day my son your Birthday 09-17-2009

I think about you and wish you were still here so much to celebrate your 19th Birthday with us my son

My heart misses you more and more each day that passes without you here.

I ask myself over and over again “why did you have to go so fast my son”

And now it’s your Birthday 09-17-2009 this is the hardest day to be without you my son my baby boy.

You meant the world to me my son the day you were born 09-17-1990 and I kissed you for the first time my son and I will never forgot when you were placed in my arms for the first time. And I will never forget the day you left I kissed you one last time.

The way I would make you laugh and hug you on this day that was yours for 18 years, your Birthday my son

I never got a chance to say goodbye to you my son and I don’t want to yet.

So please don't worry for me my son, I know that you are still with me my son I can feel you around me and in my heart and soul.

Every time I look outside and watch other children playing how I think of you my son, I just wish you were by my side on this day your Birthday.

I miss you so much my words can't even describe how I feel today on your Birthday my son and the heartache I feel today.

I wish I could tell you one more time how much I love you my son but I know you knew just how much I loved you.

Only time is keeping you and me apart and when it’s my time we will be together my son.

Because the love between Mother and Son there are no goodbye.

I want to say Happy Birthday 09/17/2009 my son I love you Mom.

today is hard and thank all of you for your words and reading all your story of your children helps me to understand and get through this day. thank you and I love all of you and we all understand and know the heartache. May god hear all our prayers for our children and reunite us one day..and how all the Birthday are in the same month they must be having a big party and that is a comfort to me.
it is hard to day but I am cooking all his favorite food and taken to him with his cake. it is hard.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BABY MY SON.
I LOVE YOU MOM
Hi Leslie.this is Elaine Phillips sorry I forgot to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your son. I know they were good people meaning your son,Twila and Kristi son because I am a virgo to. My birthday was 09-12,that means we are good people "SMILE" Elaine

Leslie L. Fiorda said:
Deart Kristi...and Twila...
Our sons birthdays, all three of them, with-in a day of each other. I was thinking about the multitudes in heaven...and how many more may be born on these three days. What kind of party could they have had? All the most famous people in the world. But can you imagine having cake and ice cream with Moses. I am just rambling on, as if in a dream. Dreams are all I have left...I know it sounds stupid, but maybe, just maybe one little piece of it is real.
Thought I would share...Love and Prayers, Leslie

September 11, 2009
NOT WANTING TO LET YOU GO

From the time of your conception,
Til the time that you were due.
From before you saw the sunlight
With-in my heart you grew.

I'll not forget those tiny hands,
That seemed to need me so.
I help'd you as you took each step,
not wanting to let you go.

It feels like only yesterday,
That I signed you up for school.
Jr. high has passed me by,
So fast, I feel the fool.

You seem to grow so big and strong,
Baseball was your game.
Remember that scout, who sought you out,
And asked for you by name.

I cherish every memory,
Each and every single one.
And I pray that up in Heaven
Your Birthday there is fun.

And forgive me son for crying,
It's just hard with-out you here.
I wonder if you miss me too.
Or wish that I was near.

I think back to yester-year
Though not so long ago.
I feel inside the same old fear
Not wanting to let you go.

I love you and I miss you,
And I am not the only one.
And I know someday we'll meet again.
When our journey here is done.

Love Mom...Happy Birthday Jordan!

kristi said:
HI TWILA,MY SON WOULD OF TURNED 19 ON SEPT 12TH,AND I WENT TO THE CEMETARY AND MADE HIM HIS FAVORITE FOOD AND CAKE AND GAVE IT TO HIM,CAME HOME AND SAT ON THE COMPUTER AND ALL THE WHILE I WAS SITTING ON THE COMPUTER I WAS SAYING WHAT IF,WHAT IF I COULD OF DID THIS WOULD OF IT HAPPENED.AND WHAT WOULD HE OF LOOKED LIKE AT 19 IT IS HARD BECAUSE I LOST MINE AT 16 AND EVERY YEAR I GO AND STAND AT HIS GRAVE SIDE WONDERING WHAT WOULD OF HE LOOKED LIKE.I HAVE ANOTHER SON AND HE IS 13 BUT 3 YEARS DOWN THE LINE I WILL PROBLY START ASKING MYSELF IF MY OTHER SONE WOULD OF LOOKED LIKE HIM.BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUR SON TOMORROW.I HAD TEARS ALL DAY FRIDAY AND ALL DAY SATURDAY.IT ISNT A EASY DAY.BUT MY FRIENDS ALL SAY I AM STRONG AND I WILL MAKE IT THROU AND I DID.EXCEPT ALL MY FAMILY LEFT ME A LONE ALL DAY THEY USUALLY DO IN CASE I WANT TO CRY OR SOMETHING.BUT TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF THANKS KRISTI

Twila said:
Well tomorrow is here and it is going to be the hardest day yet to pass. It's my son birthday and I have wrote a poem for it but I will post it tomorrow. I really did not want this day to come and it is here so fast it seems. He would have been 19 years old and I remember when he turned 1 years old. Oh how I miss him so much I do. And when he turned 18 he told me he did not want to be 18 because that meant I would not be there for him anymore..and I told him I am 39 and my mother is still in my life I am not
Beautiful...hearfelt...your poem. Today I found a vhs tape of my sons at baseball tryouts. Then I saw one of Miloh's games...he was pitching. How wonderful it is to see. I had no idea I had "Jordan"s" game on there as well. I was shocked. I was showing my daughter, Sadie and Miloh this tape and went into the kitchen for a moment and... I heard Jordans voice. A game of his I had recorded and forgot about. THANK YOU JESUS, FOR MY GIFT. I recieved one, just when I needed it most. Thank you Jordan, Happy Birthday...I love you! ...Love Mom

Twila said:
My son 19th birthday and he is not here…09/17/2009

My heart is broken without you here on our special day my son your Birthday 09-17-2009

I think about you and wish you were still here so much to celebrate your 19th Birthday with us my son

My heart misses you more and more each day that passes without you here.

I ask myself over and over again “why did you have to go so fast my son”

And now it’s your Birthday 09-17-2009 this is the hardest day to be without you my son my baby boy.

You meant the world to me my son the day you were born 09-17-1990 and I kissed you for the first time my son and I will never forgot when you were placed in my arms for the first time. And I will never forget the day you left I kissed you one last time.

The way I would make you laugh and hug you on this day that was yours for 18 years, your Birthday my son

I never got a chance to say goodbye to you my son and I don’t want to yet.

So please don't worry for me my son, I know that you are still with me my son I can feel you around me and in my heart and soul.

Every time I look outside and watch other children playing how I think of you my son, I just wish you were by my side on this day your Birthday.

I miss you so much my words can't even describe how I feel today on your Birthday my son and the heartache I feel today.

I wish I could tell you one more time how much I love you my son but I know you knew just how much I loved you.

Only time is keeping you and me apart and when it’s my time we will be together my son.

Because the love between Mother and Son there are no goodbye.

I want to say Happy Birthday 09/17/2009 my son I love you Mom.

today is hard and thank all of you for your words and reading all your story of your children helps me to understand and get through this day. thank you and I love all of you and we all understand and know the heartache. May god hear all our prayers for our children and reunite us one day..and how all the Birthday are in the same month they must be having a big party and that is a comfort to me.
it is hard to day but I am cooking all his favorite food and taken to him with his cake. it is hard.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BABY MY SON.
I LOVE YOU MOM
Happy Birthday Kristi! ........Love Leslie

Elaine Banks Phillips said:
Hi Leslie.this is Elaine Phillips sorry I forgot to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your son. I know they were good people meaning your son,Twila and Kristi son because I am a virgo to. My birthday was 09-12,that means we are good people "SMILE" Elaine

Leslie L. Fiorda said:
Deart Kristi...and Twila...
Our sons birthdays, all three of them, with-in a day of each other. I was thinking about the multitudes in heaven...and how many more may be born on these three days. What kind of party could they have had? All the most famous people in the world. But can you imagine having cake and ice cream with Moses. I am just rambling on, as if in a dream. Dreams are all I have left...I know it sounds stupid, but maybe, just maybe one little piece of it is real.
Thought I would share...Love and Prayers, Leslie

September 11, 2009
NOT WANTING TO LET YOU GO

From the time of your conception,
Til the time that you were due.
From before you saw the sunlight
With-in my heart you grew.

I'll not forget those tiny hands,
That seemed to need me so.
I help'd you as you took each step,
not wanting to let you go.

It feels like only yesterday,
That I signed you up for school.
Jr. high has passed me by,
So fast, I feel the fool.

You seem to grow so big and strong,
Baseball was your game.
Remember that scout, who sought you out,
And asked for you by name.

I cherish every memory,
Each and every single one.
And I pray that up in Heaven
Your Birthday there is fun.

And forgive me son for crying,
It's just hard with-out you here.
I wonder if you miss me too.
Or wish that I was near.

I think back to yester-year
Though not so long ago.
I feel inside the same old fear
Not wanting to let you go.

I love you and I miss you,
And I am not the only one.
And I know someday we'll meet again.
When our journey here is done.

Love Mom...Happy Birthday Jordan!

kristi said:
HI TWILA,MY SON WOULD OF TURNED 19 ON SEPT 12TH,AND I WENT TO THE CEMETARY AND MADE HIM HIS FAVORITE FOOD AND CAKE AND GAVE IT TO HIM,CAME HOME AND SAT ON THE COMPUTER AND ALL THE WHILE I WAS SITTING ON THE COMPUTER I WAS SAYING WHAT IF,WHAT IF I COULD OF DID THIS WOULD OF IT HAPPENED.AND WHAT WOULD HE OF LOOKED LIKE AT 19 IT IS HARD BECAUSE I LOST MINE AT 16 AND EVERY YEAR I GO AND STAND AT HIS GRAVE SIDE WONDERING WHAT WOULD OF HE LOOKED LIKE.I HAVE ANOTHER SON AND HE IS 13 BUT 3 YEARS DOWN THE LINE I WILL PROBLY START ASKING MYSELF IF MY OTHER SONE WOULD OF LOOKED LIKE HIM.BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUR SON TOMORROW.I HAD TEARS ALL DAY FRIDAY AND ALL DAY SATURDAY.IT ISNT A EASY DAY.BUT MY FRIENDS ALL SAY I AM STRONG AND I WILL MAKE IT THROU AND I DID.EXCEPT ALL MY FAMILY LEFT ME A LONE ALL DAY THEY USUALLY DO IN CASE I WANT TO CRY OR SOMETHING.BUT TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF THANKS KRISTI

Twila said:
Well tomorrow is here and it is going to be the hardest day yet to pass. It's my son birthday and I have wrote a poem for it but I will post it tomorrow. I really did not want this day to come and it is here so fast it seems. He would have been 19 years old and I remember when he turned 1 years old. Oh how I miss him so much I do. And when he turned 18 he told me he did not want to be 18 because that meant I would not be there for him anymore..and I told him I am 39 and my mother is still in my life I am not
HI LESLIE,IT WAS ELAINES BIRTHDAY ON THE 12TH AND MY SONS BIRTHDAY WAS ON THE 12TH.MINE IS DEC 25TH.THANKS FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES ANYWAYS.I HOPE YOUR DOING BETTER.MY MONTH LIKE SEPT 11 TILL THE DAY MY SON PASSED AWAY I HURT.THAN I WAIT FOR THE NEXT HOLIDAY BUT I AM DOING FINE RIGHT NOW THOUGH.THANKS SO MUCH KRISTI

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