Michele, Im sorry to hear of your lost. It seems so unfair that death has the power to take our loved ones from us. We do not know how to react. The pain is so intense that there is nothing anyone can say or do to bring relief. That pain is not necessarily erased by being told that our loved ones are in heaven.
The Bible, however makes it clear that God does not take our dead loved ones to be with him in heaven. Jesus confirmed this truth while on earth, after his friend Lazarus died. Jesus likened death to sleep. If Lazarus had gone to heaven to be with Almight God, Jesus bringing him back to earth eventually to die again would have been no kindness. John 11:11-14,34,38-44 says that Jesus said with a loud voice "Lazarus come on out", Jesus knew that Lazarus had never left the earth. He had been lying lifeless in a tomb.
This incident recorded in the Bible helps us to understand that death is not a means that God uses to transfer humans from earth to heaven. We can thus be drawn to God knowing that he has not caused our sadness. We can also trust that he fully grasp the sorrow and damage that the enemy death causes us. The Bible truth about the condition of the dead proves that the dead are lifeless in the grave according to Ecclesiastes 9:5,10. The memory of our loved ones need not be stained with revulsion toward God.
God himself has promised according to John 5:28,29 " Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tomb will hear his voice and come out." Where will this resurrection take place? According to Psalms 37:29 " The righteous will possess the earth, and they will reside forever upon it." Think of what that means, families and friends torn apart by death will again meet here on earth. As you think of enjoying good times with those companionships you once treasured, it is reasonable for your heart to swell with happiness. All these promises are in the Bible, and come from God, so we know that theses things will happen, because according to Titus 1:2 "God can not Lie."
I hope these scriptures bring you some hope in your time of grief.
my mother passed away about a year ago...august 16 2008 from a brain tumor that was cancerous. it came very sudden and no one understands how because it does'nt run in the family. Only 10 months after we found out that she had the tumor, it just kept growin and the doctors couldnt do anything about it. she was a very strong person, you couldnt even tell she was sick until the last week. i just dont understand why it happened. she was only 49 years old and the closest person in the world to me. everyday after we found out she had the tumor i prayed every night hoping for a miracle. it seemed like it was starting to get better, then it just went downhill. I am a very religious person and i go to church and i thank god that she is out of pain but i just dont understand why this happened. it has been very difficult for my father brother sister and I and i just don't know what to say tro them as well as the other way around. if anyone has had this happen to them or something similar i would really like to get comfort. thank you