hi elaine,you know people are telling me to get on with my life,because somepeople at my work dont like me talking about him,so i just dont any more i just talk to the ones that let me and thats the way it will have to be for me.i let it go for acouple of days then i start bringing him up again and some of my coworkers are supportive.and the holidays my phone doesnt stop ringing,my family and friends all worry about me.but once it is over than they call like every 2 weeks.my dad is a good one for that but i know is just checking up on me like deer hunting is approaching and he knows it is a hard time for me because my son likded to do that.he use to get a drenlin rush from shooting a deer.it is so neat just thinking about him doing that for the last time.well ihope all goes well and keep in touch ok
PAM I WILL GIVE MY DAD TIME,AND IT HAS BEEN 2 YEARS SINCE MY SON GOT KILLED BY HIS FRIEND THAT WAS OCT 7TH.AND THE HOLIDAYS LIKE ON THANKSGIVING THE FIRST YEAR HE WAS GONE I COULDNT GRIEVE FOR HIM BECAUSE I HAD MY GULL BLADDER OUT AND I THINK I WAS IN TO MUCH PAIN,BUT AT CHRISTMAS IT HURTS BECAUSE I GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING AND IFORGET I CANT PICK ANYTHING UP.THATS WHEN IT IS HARD FOR ME.AND YES THIS YEAR MY MOM AND DAD ARE COMING UP FOR DEER HUNTING AND I ASKED HER IF SHE WANTED TO GO THROU THE CARDS WITH ME SINCE SHE SAID WHEN WERE ALONE WE WILL DO IT.SEE MY DAD LOST HIS MOM HE WAS 12 AND MY SON THAT IS LIVING LOST HIS BROTHER WHEN HE WAS 10 SO MY DAD ALWAYS TELLS HIM I KNOW WHAT YOUR GOING THROU.TO MY SON.WELL I WILL BE ALRIGHT FOR AWHILE HUNGING ISNT FOR ANOTHER 2 WEEKS AND ICAN PERPARE MY SELF FOR IT.THANKS PAM
I recently lost by little brother. I am 21 and had a beatuiful baby girl on September 13, 2008. My brother was there all day at the hospital proud as couls be. He turned 18 on April 17. 2008. On September the 29th, I had received a call from my mom telling me that my brother had commited suicide.Ever since then, nothing has been normal. It seems that I could just call him to see how he is doing, but I know that is not the case, but i really wish it was. I am to the point that they are semding me home from work because I cannot function. I just don't know how to deal with this pain. The month of September of this year was the best month of my life but also the most tragic of them all.
HI Jeremy,my name is Elaine,I know what you are going thru. I lost my brother 1 week afer my birthday. He was supposed to Bar-B-Que for my birthday 09-12 but it ran that weekend. So he promise that he would do it the next weekend. I recieved a phone call thinking that it was my brother telling me that he was on his way. It was his son crying telling me that he was holding his Dad in his arms and that he was not breathing. I would never forget that for thr rest of my life. Also my son Kris was killed in a fatal car accident on April 9,2006. This really blew my mind. Its been 2 yrs now,but I can still feel the pain and heartache. Now the holidays is about to roll around.Man that hurts. I say all the time that everyone dreams about Kris but me and his oldest son Kris Jr. I ask God to let me see him again only if it is just in my dream. I wish all the time that he would walk in thru the door. He would say all the time whats up Ma,what you cooked and here come his kiss. I would say go ahead boy I don't know where them lips been. Than he would bear hug me and hold me down to get a kiss. I really miss that. So Jeremy you will not get over this fast. It will take time and prayers. Like I say to all our new members. You no longer have to suffer alone. You have a family right here on this site that knows and feel what you are going through. So you can write and let us know or talk to us anytime,trust me one of us will answer. Don't ever think that when you say something we don't understand. We know it may sounds crazy,but this is how you feel and we know how and what you are feeling. We are going to pray with you and ask God for strength to bring you through this. Jeremy also I lost my Mom on April 9,My Dad April 4 and kris April 9,different years but in April. My Mom Died at 0241AM,My son at 0242AM both April 9,and my Dad funeral was on April 9. So you know how I feel in the month of April. But I have my family here on this site to help me out. So we are here for you.
Hi maritta,I am so sorry about you daughter. Don't mind me because I cry for everthing. But the tears are rolling down my face as I read your story. I can relate to what you are going through. My Kris was a New Orleans Firegifhter. This is what he dreamed to be since nursery school. Kris really enjoyed his job. His death has taken me through so much. I still cry because I miss him so much. Kris was my child that showed a lot of affection. He was always ready to hug and kiss. I remember the day before his fatal accident I called and said kris I am about to purchase a DVD recorder what do you think about the price. I had him on the speaker phone. All loud and clear mama what I told you about buying all that high technique equipment and don't know how to work it. Everyone that was in the same isle with me laugh and said,I bet that was your husband. I said no but he think so,that was my son. Kris was a good father and a family man to his fiance and his kids,a good son,brother,uncle and cousin. I don't know look like it was just something special about him. Everyone loved Kris,he just had the talent of many trades like auto repair,VCR,DVD,you name it they would say call Kris. The phone would ring look at the number it would be one of my sisters, I'm thinking that the phone call was me. Hay girl Kris home no they are looking for Kris to do a brake job or some type of repair. He was also the role model for our family with the young male group.They would say I want to be like Kris,he is cool. But Maritta it will take a little time for healing. I started out with counseling but it didnot work for me. I talks to my minister where I can get spiritual counseling. Words from God,I mean different scriptures from the bible. I took Kris death so hard that I had a brain anuerysm. I stayed in intensive care for 11 days. So please don't let this or any sickness come upon you for griefing. I am not telling you don't grieve. because grieving has no time period. I am still grieving after 2 yrs. my heart still hurts. Try a memorial site at legacy.connect for her. You and your family will always have something to remember her by. I also have a guest book for Kris for life,this is where I spend a lot of time on that site,and his memorial site and write to him like he is sitting right there listening. it might sound crazy to some people,but you just don't know how much this can release some of your stress,pain and heartaches. But don't forget to pray and ask God for strength to go through this. I say all the time I am good at helping others and still crying myself. But I pray and ask God to deliver me from this pain and heartache that I am carring. So don't feel like you are alone. We are right here for you. Now you write how and what you are feeling we understand. You don't know how it feels unless you have been there.Some people states that they can imagine how we feel,but they can't you have to stand in those shoes to feel what we are dealing with. So I will be praying for and with you. Write any time. Take a look at Kris memorial site @ legacy.com http://memorialsite.legacy.com/wemissyouKrisJP/Homepageaspx
Thanks Maxine,I will be praying for you. You will recieve plenty of strenght and prayers from us all. we all help each other. Truely this site has been so helpful to me. You will get more responds. Everyone they are so helpful on the site. So when ever you feel sad or lonely write us at anytime someone will answere you with some advice or let you know how they may have been through the same thing. Also Maxine there is a memorial site that is offered to you on this site. I have one for Kris if you want to view it. hppt://memorialsite.legacy.com/wemissyouKrisJP/Homepage.aspx
Dear Jeremy I am so sad to hear of the loss of your brother. Any loss of any kind leaves a void in your life; I lost my husband a year ago to a car accident and it still hurts. But to be honest I don't have answers for you and how to deal with your loss; only suggestions on what you might be able to do. First off you are right.. nothing feels normal, and that is true nothing will ever be the same. And conrats on the birth of your beautiful baby girl! , even through this rough time I bet she is bringing you great joy. When you are ready ( you will know when you are ) you should go into grief counseling or your local minister or someone that can help you through the loss of your brother. Also to if you are into writing start a journal and star from the beginning when you guys were kids growing up, and what ever else comes to mind. Talk to your mom stay in close contact with her and make sure she is taking care of herself; and most important take care of yourself... eating, sleeping as best as possible ( if your married ) you need to be there for her and most of all you need to be there for your daughter. I wish I had something to ease your pain of why your brother killed himself I can't I can only give you my prayers to you and your mom to find the strength to get through it and you will. Take Care Jeremy I will have you in my thoughts and prayers.
Hi Jeremy September was the worst month of my life also My husband died in a train crash on Sept 3rd and our anniversary was on the 15 Th so Sept will never be the same but I am hopeful that it will someday have new meaning
Hi Bonnie,in April I lost My mother 4-9,father 4-4 and my son 4-9 in the month of April,and also my son birthday. The strange thing is my mom died 4-9 and my son died 4-9,my mother at 2:41AM and my son 2:42AM. My dad funeral was on 4-9. Now you know this is a painful monthh for me. Like you say maybe someday it will have a meaning to it.
Thank you Elaine & Pamela,
My daughter brings me joy everyday. I love the way that she looks at me. I find it easier to talk about the issue, rather than keep it bottled inside. Usually that is what I do, but then again this is a whole issue altogether. I find it the hardest when I am by myself. That is when it all seems to come down at one time. Sometimes I dream about him and we are getting into all the touble that we used toand then it really sucks that when I wake up that it was only a dream. My wife has been helping me a lot, she lost her father when she was younger and she tries her hardest to comfort me. Its funny really, because when I am down she comforts me, then a few minutes later I am the one that is comforting her. I really hate to talk to my mom about it, even though that she tells me to call her whenever I need her. I hate the fact that when I call her she is joyful and then when I get off the phone she is crying too. It seems that I am making it harder for her too. I know that life must go on and that it may be hard at times. I know that it will eventually get better. Thank you for all of the thoughts and prayers.