Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by kristi on January 13, 2009 at 4:17pm

HI ELAINE,THANK YOU SO MUCH.THE WAKE IS THURSDAY AND IT GOES TILL FRIDAY MORNING AT 11.IT WILL BE HARD BECAUSE IT WILL BE RIGHT WERE MY SON WAS,BUT TO BRING CLOSURE AND TO TALK TO THE PARENTS OF THIS YOUNG BOY I NEED TO DO THAT FOR ME,I ASKED MY DOCTOR FOR SOMETHING BECAUSE MY HEART IS SO HURTING.I DIDNT SLEEP FOR THE LAST TWEO NIGHTS THAT I HAVE HEARD.BUT IT HAS BEEN 2 YEARS AND THEY DIED A BLOCK AWAY FROM EACH OTHER.EVERYONE STILL TALKS ABOUT MY SON AT SCHOOL AND STUFF.BECAUSE THEY ARE SAYING HOW THEY BOTH DIED ON THE SAME STREET A BLOCK AWAY.I AM GLAD THAT THEY ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT MY SON.I DONT WANT THEM TO FORGET HIM,HE WAS REALLY GOOD.THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS,AND KEEP IN TOUCH KRISTI

Permalink Reply by Stephanie on January 13, 2009 at 4:30pm

Kristi, I sure understand how important it is that no one forget your son. I feel the same way about Abby. I know we all need to go along with life but I want to keep my sister as part of that whether it be tears, laughter, or just memories. It has been over a year and my good friend's sister has stage 4 ovarian cancer. He talks to my husband and I but I usually can't keep a tear from slipping out. I have told him it is ok I don't hide the emotion but he understands I probably will not attend the service if something happens. I may change my mind when the time comes but right now I don't think I can handle it. Just remember this young mans family will understand if you can't be there because what is important is taking care of yourself. I will say an extra prayer Thur. and Fri. for you Stephanie

Permalink Reply by kristi on January 13, 2009 at 4:59pm

thank you stephanie.i know but i want to go see the family.i want them to know that i feel what they are feeling.sorry about your friend.yes i havent been sleeping and my heart has been aching for the family of this kid.he use to come over all the time when they were little.and they grew apart but when they were in the same town they seen each other and hung around together.well take care and write when you can.and thank you

Permalink Reply by Stephanie on January 16, 2009 at 7:07pm

Kristi, I just thought I would check in and make sure you were ok after the ordeal of the last 2 days. I was thinking about you. Stephanie

Permalink Reply by kristi on January 16, 2009 at 7:16pm

thank you everyone that has been concerned about me,i have not slept since this happened i got throu the service alittle,started crying when the father said to go play basketball or something and stop the violence.that made me cry and when we go to view the person and pay our respects to the parents and grandparents,i got to the mom and dad and started to cry.and the mom said that she has been thinking about us since this happened.i said i have you to and i told them that we are there for them.that we know what they are going throu,and i had my support group lady put something together so that i could put something on the table so they can come to the support group.i hope they come.the dad has locked hisself in his room and not coming out,i feel so bad for them,but now that this is over maybe i can get on and start sleeping again.i am alright i just need to get some sleep now.take care and i hope you are doing all right to.keep in touch and thanks for thinking about me.kristi

Permalink Reply by penny kane on January 18, 2009 at 2:53am

I lost contact for a few weeks from a very dear friend and always wondering why He never called or responded on the cards my husband an I sent him.
Next thing I know, here is His name in the obituaries.
My heart dropped to the floor, but I still have hope due to the fact I never knew his middle name just hoping it was not him.
I'm still holding on, but I know he is gone...I'm wondering why He never got in touch unless He was too sick to. Why didn't He let us say goodbye?
I feel empty inside and wish this was all a dream!
I know that we will meet the ones gone on before us in that BEAUTIFUL HOME IN THE SKY, but it's just so hard to hang on when you cannot hear their voices, see their smile anymore...

Permalink Reply by kristi on January 18, 2009 at 6:17pm

hi,sorry about what your going throu,i will say it is hard when you cant say goodbye,when my son died in the emergency room they wouldnt let us see him,they said he was evidence,that we couldnt see him or say goodbye or touch him it hurts the last time i seen my son was in a body bag and it hurts alot.yes i have a friend that use to keep in contact with and now she doesnt but she might be in another town i dont know.but maybe it is him maybe it isnt,hopefully he had your number in his phone book and they contact you if you were close.but i dont know what to say but i feel how you feel.hang in there and i wonder do you know any of his kids or his wife?if so couldnt you contact them?and see if it was him?thanks for listening.keep in touch and let me know the out come.kristi

Permalink Reply by Melissa on January 22, 2009 at 6:22pm

I just want to share my story because I just don't know anymore. I was dating a wonderful man for about 4 months. I met him a month after moving from Chicago. I wasn't looking for a relationship or a man but he won me over. He treated me like gold...Anyways, I knew he had a clotting disorder and he told me he didn't need any meds (I have been in the medical field for 16 years). I trusted his word. He twisted his ankle on December 13th. I told him I was worried about his ankle because it didn't look right to me. He told me it was fine and not to worry because he had blood clots before and he knew what it felt like. Well, on Christmas Eve morning he told me he didn't feel well. I said he was achey and feverish. I figured it was the flu. He got up suddenly to go to the bathroom at 1 in the morning. I heard a noise and walked in to my bedroom to find that he had passed out. I opened his airway and he woke up. I htought he reacted to the Nyquil I gave him. I told him I was going to call 911 and he told me no. He became restless and got up to go to the bathroom again. When he came out of the bathroom he went to lay down in my bed. I noticed his lips were turning blue. I did what he asked of me. I told him I was calling 911. He was restless and started complaining he couldn't breathe or catch his breath. It took the ambulance 7 minutes to get to my home. The entire time he was begging me to help him. I told him the ambulance was coming for him, I could hear the sirens. I asked him if he could hear them. I went out to see where the ambulance was. When I walked back into my bedroom, he looked at me, and said, 'I'm dying. Baby help me.' I looked at him and said, 'Baby, I can't help you.' I walked back outside to see the ambulance parked in the parking lot. When I went back into my bedroom, he was kneeling on my bed, up against the wall in such an unnatural position. I pulled him down on the bed and rolled him onto his back. He was blue and not breathing. My training kicked in and I started reccue breathing for him. The paramedics came in and took over. I was in and out of the room while they were working on him. I saw things I wish I never did. From the time the ambulance got there to the time they pronounced him at the hospital, they worked on him for about an hour and a half.
The ER doctor told us that he probably threw a PE (blood clot to the lungs). He said based on how his leg looked the clot probably started there and dislodged. Not knowing that I was with him, he told us that dying of a PE was like watching TV, one minute it's on the next it's off. God, I wish it was. I haven't been able to sleep except for short 2 hour spurts. I haven't been able to put his stuff away. I feel deep rooted guilt for not doing more for him. I feel horrible that my last words to him, alive, was 'I can't help you' as he begged me for help. I work in the same place he did (I actually work there because of him). It is so hard. People tell me it will get better but it seems to be getting worse. I don't think I'll ever be the same again after this. Does it really, ever get better?

Permalink Reply by Elaine Banks Phillips on January 22, 2009 at 8:22pm

Hi Melissa,my name is Elaine and the only thing that was different with me and you was that,my Mom had signed a Do NOT RESUSATATE on my Dad weeks before he was d/c from the hospital. It hurt so bad because I could hear my Dad saying Teedie,but I could not understand what he telling me. This hurt so bad that there was nothing that I could do for him. I could see the tears rolling down his face. I don't know what he had to say to me but I just could not understand him. when I dailed 911 I told them about the papers that my Mom had. My Dad had Lung cancer that had spreaded to his brain. This is what he wanted a DO NOT RESUSATATE. He would be in so much pain and refuse to take the pain medication. My Dad was a Minister and said that he had made peace with God. After hearing your story,this makes me think about Kris not having the chance to say good-bye to him. You know God makes no mistakes. I am able to tell these words to someone else,where it is so hard for me to accept these words. But the thing about it all is that I know all of this but it still hurts. So I am taking it one day at a time. It will be (3) years on April 9th. Trust me Melissa it really hurts. I think Kristie and I has been carring this pain and heartache around about the same time. So we are here for you,we know and feel the hurt that you are going through. No matter how it happened we are all in that same pain,heartache. So feel free and talk about your feelings. It will releave some but also seek professional counseling alone with GOD.... Elaine

Permalink Reply by Melissa on January 23, 2009 at 8:02pm

Elaine, thank you for your response. I do need counseling, I know that. The problems I have eating, sleeping, and guilt are definate signs of my depression. Without help it will only get worse. However, as far as god is concerned, I don't necessarily believe in God so it is hard for me to seek help from a diety that would bring such a wonderful man into my life (after the abusive relationships I had for the past 15-16 years), have him treat me like I should, like I never had, and then take him from me. Bitter and hostile attitude, possibly, but I don't necessarily believe in 'God.' Sorry about that.

Permalink Reply by Elaine Banks Phillips on January 23, 2009 at 8:16pm

Stephanie,Your beliefs are your beliefs. But I am still here for you. I kind of understand how you feel,because My 1st child died at 1 month and 18 days. Oh but I question God,why my child,look at all the women that didn't want their kids,and the ones that abused their kids. But why he took my firt and only child. It took some hard praying for me to accept and understand why. Some day maybe in time you will understand. If I offended you in any way,I am sorry. I should have remember that there is some people or denomination that don't believe in God. So we must be careful on what we say to people. Stephanie I am still sorry for what happened and hope that you would come to some peace and understanding.....Elaine

Permalink Reply by kristi on January 22, 2009 at 8:52pm

melissa.i have been throu so much.but it has been 2 years and i still dont get over my anger and stuff for what the kid did to my son.the mom can tell it in our eyes when she sees us on the street.my heart goes out to you,if you are really hurting we have support groups in are area maybe you can go to one in your town.crying is the best thing,they say to talk about him dont hide him in the closet.light a candle and write in a journal.on his birthday make him his favorite cake and favorite food and take a plate to his cemetary.if you ever need to talk were here for you ok.thanks kristi

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• …
• 13
• 14
• 15
• 16
• 17
• …
• 38
• Next ›
• Page