Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Cheryl on October 11, 2009 at 4:41pm

No Michele your question does not sound stupid at all.Think of this, at John 5:28,29 Jesus Christ spoke of the earthly resurrection of the dead that will take place right here on earth. Revelation 20:13 stated that "the sea gave up those dead in it." So what matters is not where or how a person returns to the dust. Cremation does not prevent a persons' resurrection.

Matthew 19:26 tells us "with God all things are possible." and Titus 1:2 states "God can not Lie."

So we can have confidence in what the Bible says. The most important thing to remember is that even if you have gotten away from your Bible, get back into it.
The Almighty God Jehovah has told us what we need to do to be one of those that live on the earth when he makes it into a paradise to welcome back our dead loved ones. (Psalms 37:9-11,29)
John 17:3 says " This means everlasting life, their taking in knowledge of you the only true God, and of the one whom you sent forth, Jesus Christ."

So for you to be on the earth when God makes in into a paradise, requires that you take in accurate knowledge of God and his son right now.

Taking in accurate knowledge you will learn Does God really care about you, will war and suffering ever end, Is there any hope for the dead, how can i pray and be heard by God, and how can i find happiness in life.

If any of those you would like to learn more about, and your heart yearns to see your loved one again, contact any Jehovah's Witnesses and they will be glad to assist you in learning more.

Permalink Reply by Jerryette Vigil on October 17, 2009 at 2:58pm

Hello to whoever reads this:
It has been 11 months today that i lost my Beautiful sister Jackie! Just like that she was taken from me! I have come to realize that just talking about her makes such a difference with this empty feeling i carry!!! I still cry for her and i really miss her so much!!!!!!!!!!! She loved Life and her personality showed it!! Anyone that met her loved her and her laugh well it was contagious.......I just wanted to share a bit about " A NEW ANGEL" that i feel watches over me and my family. The sudden loss of someone close to you is so heartbreaking, the pain you feel, depression try's to take over and sometimes does, I would like to add just take one day at a time, remember the good times{smile} and God Bless all of You...Jerry

Permalink Reply by Vicky Martinez on October 29, 2009 at 9:50pm

On September 6,2009 my oldest and dear son passed. He was living in Puerto Rico with his wife and children. A month before his wife called me and thank me because of the way my son was raised. I raised them by myself. She had breast cancer and surgery, he took great care of herself. He took days off from his work to be with her. Months later she had surgery again, and he took days off again from his work to stay with her. By the end of August she called me and said that my son was at the hospital and wanted to see me. Next day I went to P.R., he had an internal bleeding. I got to see him alive, and he said:"Bendicion mami", and I responded "God Bless You". I kept telling him he was going to be ok and I really had faith that everything was going to fine. He was yellow and kept his eyes closed. Next day they did not wanted him to speak because he was to anxious and shortness of breath. He died a week after. He was only 43 years old and has two children: one 18th and the youngest 9 years old. His wife asked for an autopsy with no results until now. I was unable to cry and just this week I can cry a little bid. I am depressed, tired, with pijamas all day; why God did not take me instead of him, he was not ready and he wanted to live longer. Is something I can not understand. I feel like a part of me was taken out of my body and there is nothing left. I lost my parents, my brothers;but this is different. Thank you for your attention. Vicky

Permalink Reply by candace on October 31, 2009 at 2:24pm

Lynette, I'm so sorry to hear about your the death of your husband. Last year I lost my cousin to a hit and run. It was a very traumatic time for our family but what helped me to get through it were the encouraging promises in the Bible that let me see that God hates death just as much as we do and does not want to see anyone suffer. I really enjoyed the 28th and 29th verses in the fifth chapter of John which tell of a time when we can be reunited with those that we have lost in death. It says, " all those in the memorial tombs will hear his [Jesus'] voice and come out." But until that happens we still need help to cope with the pain we now face so there are many other encouraging thoughts. I was comforted by reading God's invitation for us in the 8th stanza of the 62nd psalm to "trust in him at all times... and pour at [our] heart" to Him especicailly when we feel there's no one else to talk to. These are just a few of the verses I find comforting but I hope they helped a little and I wish you and your children the best.

Permalink Reply by candace on October 31, 2009 at 3:44pm

After reading about your son and how well he cared for his wife it seems like you did a really good job raising your children. I am so sorry to hear of his untimely death though. I can only imagine how hard it must be to lose a child since it is supposed to be the other way around and even though death is a part of life that we often experience, it still hurts. Many times when tragedy strikes people ask why God caused it just like you askied ,but the Bible book of Job in the 34th chapter and the 10th verse reveals, " far be it from the true God to act wickedly." So even though it may seem that God caused these things to happen, He is not a wicked and doesn't cause us pain. Instead He views death as an enemy and sympathizes with us since He too suffered the loss of His son, Jesus. And God looks forward to the time when "He will wipe out every tear from [our] eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore."(Revelation chapter 21, verse 3 and 4) So even though you feel a lot of pain now I hope you find it reassuring to know that Jehovah (God's personal name) doesn't want to see us suffer and plans on doing something about it.

Permalink Reply by BJ on October 31, 2009 at 7:07pm

Sadly, in early December 2004, Rose Marie was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in one of her lungs. Experts agreed that it was fast growing and had to be removed. The surgery was performed later in December, and about a week afterward, the surgeon came into Rose’s hospital room while I was there and said: “Rose Marie, go home! You’re healed!”
However, only a few days after coming home, Rose Marie began to have severe pains in her stomach area and elsewhere. These persisted, so she went back to the hospital for further tests. It was found that for some reason, a number of her vital organs were producing blood clots that were preventing those organs from getting the necessary oxygen. The doctors did everything humanly possible to counteract this but were unsuccessful. Only a few weeks later, on January 30, 2005, I suffered the most crushing blow of my whole life. My dearest Rose Marie died.
At the time, I was almost 80 years old and had observed the suffering of people all my life, but this was different. Rose Marie and I were, as the Bible says, “one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) I had seen the suffering of others and had suffered myself when friends and relatives died. But the suffering I experienced when my wife died has been far more intense and long lasting. I now fully realize what immense sorrow the death of loved ones has brought to the human family for so long.
Nevertheless, my understanding of the origin of suffering and how it will end has come to my rescue. Psalm 34:18 says: “Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.” A key to enduring this suffering is knowing that the Bible teaches that there will be a resurrection, that those in the graves will come forth and have the opportunity to live forever in God’s new world.

Permalink Reply by holly on January 8, 2010 at 10:13am

I lost my neice Skylie December 4, 2009 she was just ten months old. I was out that night when Skylies mom brought her over to my house. They went to get her out of bed and noticed she wasn't breathing, she was already gone. We later found out she had a brain tumor on the brain stem. She went peacefully in her sleep but I just cant get through this. Everyone who knows me thinks Im perfectly fine. Im afraid if I talk to them about how I feel they wont want to hear it. I miss her every day and next saturday will be her 1 yr birthday. She never got to play in the snow, or even see 1 yr. I have 2 boys 6 and 4, we always said they were going to protect her from guys when she tries dating. My children went through the grief and seem to be ok now. I feel like if I break they will see me and they will break as well. I am feeling so angry lately I cant control my thoughts and this scares me. How do I sleep? How do I get her face out of my head?

Permalink Reply by jennifer on January 11, 2010 at 8:04pm

my 2 yr old son caden was murdered on april 22 2009 by my ex boyfriend..a few weeks before i found out i was pregnant with his child, i thought for sure the stress and grief and hell i went through would make me lose that child but he survived and it is amazing how much he looks like caden..if it wasnt for him i think i would have went crazy and did stupid things.they say that time makes it easier but thats not true at least not for me.every day seems to get harder, i try to keep myself busy but that emptiness is there.every day i ask god to bring my baby back to me but my prayer isnt answered.i hope one day that i will know the truth about what happened and why he did what he did.

Permalink Reply by lula par on January 13, 2010 at 5:43pm

your boy looks so very sweetBarbara said:

Hi Latasha, thanks for writing. I stay positive because I fill my mind and heart with God's promises, with pure good thoughts and I avoid negative thinking. It's easy for us humans to get wrapped up in wrong thinking, and it takes conscious effort to do the opposite. It's a personal choice that I make daily. When my son was killed and we had no idea who did it, there were many of us praying for a conscience to come upon the person who took Jimmy's life. My prayer was for that person to come forward and turn their self in. Two weeks to the day, on 9/11/07, the police pulled over a car with three young men inside. They all ran. Two were caught, the third shot himself with the gun that killed my son. That boy was only 19 years old. We believe he was the murderer, but also that others were involved. No one else has come forward. We believe God ended this boys rampage (he had committed several home invasions and shot two other people who survived) and He spared us having to go through the trials, etc. We did meet with the boys family this past February. They requested an opportunity to meet with us to tell us how sorry they were for what their brother had done. It was a tough time, but we spent a few hours in the pastor's office talking, crying, sharing, and at the end of the meeting, hugging and forgiving. That was a big step toward healing. I know my son was looking down from heaven and smiling. I've attached a photo of Jimmy taken a few weeks before he died. You can see his beautiful smile. He was such a happy young man. I know now that he is even happier, in a place filled with light and with Jesus. And I know one day I will see him again.

Permalink Reply by Joe T on January 18, 2010 at 1:06am

Gee, where do I even begin??? January 10, 2004 the world changed for me and my two daughters. I was a 25+ yr firefighter, and had just arrived home early that Saturday morning from a 24 hour work shift that entailed very little sleep. As I quietly entered the bedroom to change into sweats so I could go to the den and "wind down" a bit after the work shift my wife sat up in bed and looked at me with an expression I had only seen on her face once before and said, "I really don't feel good". Little did I know that roughly 2 hours from that point, I would have witnessed the hell she went through, the battle she lost to fight for her life, and I would be escorting my two daughters aged 14 and 18 into that room at the ER to say "good-bye" to their mother who lay lifeless before them. This is the short version of what was later determined to be a death by cardiac arrest, a 90% narrowing of a coronary artery over 5 cm length that would take the life of an otherwise vibrant and energetic woman who had just recently turned 40 yrs old. It came without a single symptom, or warning. It swiftly took away a loving wife of 20 yrs, and devastated two young daughters also. I went into survival mode that day....not my survival, but the survival of my daughters and all the "what can I do's", "what can I say's" that may help make the rest of their lives easier to cope with without their mother. I can add detail after detail of the past 6 yrs, but the focus is the grieving process for my daughters. I encouraged repeatedly counseling and grief group participation to no avail at first, then my oldest went for a few sessions. I would find out after she attended two sessions that when I took her to the airport for what I thought was a week long trip back home to family for spring break, my daughter somewhat nonchalantly advised me while getting out of the car in front of that airport, "Oh, by the way..... I won't be coming back."
My youngest did eventually attend counseling sessions, she also over the period of three years attempted suicide three times... being hospitalized each time. I was there for her attending every counseling session, every visitation, ensuring that she knew that support would always be there for her.
I also went to counseling quite regularly, and was deemed to have severe PTSD...witnessing my wife's death, combined with 28 yrs of fire service experiences....I went through hell with flashbacks of countless deaths and experiences..always to culminate in the last image being in the ER that horrid Saturday morning...
I have had to leave the fire service as a result, I did 3+ years in police services... a bit of a twist different from all the death I dealt with in fire service, and then physical limitations brought me to my current job behind a desk in a hospital providing assistance to TBI patients who have survived IED attacks in Iraq or Afghanistan. I have come a long way, and have learned to accept many things.
I remarried this past year to a wonderful and understanding woman, who has suffered similar losses.
My daughters, however, have seemingly fallen into a mode of refusal to grieve the loss of their mother. My oldest is currently in a state of constant panic and anxiety. Anything that is mentioned to her about anything medically related, she automatically applies it to herself then goes out of control in a panic attack in which she believes she is going to die of heart failure like her mother did. This has become horrid for her and has consumed her life. She cannot sleep nights, cannot eat properly, and of recent, has been unable to cope through a single day without enduring some form of panic attack. She is barely making it in a part time job, and has no insurance to get her the medical and counseling help she so desperately needs. I've recommended she participate in a web site such as this one, and seek any form of free clinic type counseling that she may be able to locate. More to add to this, but where do I go??

Permalink Reply by Julie on January 18, 2010 at 6:49pm

Hi Lynette, I just lost my husband, age 51, last Thursday. I actually logged on here to post a Legacy memorial for him, but ended finding this post. I just signed up and joined a few minutes ago, with yours being the first post that I even read.
I live in a small town, and have called up some other woman who became widows, so I could talk to them. It is the only way anyone can 'understand" what happened.
You can write me at yeshuasgal2003@yahoo.com
Julie

Lynette said:

I lost my husband Rob on Feb 3, 2005. It has been over three years and I dont feel that I am healing at all. He died in a motorcycle accident in Florida (we are from MA). He was only 40 years old. My life is so upside down. I dont know who I am anymore, it has changed me on every level. I have two boys ages 19, and 17. I dont want to do all of this on my own anymore. I dont want ALL the responsibility. I am in danger of loosing my house because he had no life insurance. I dont even know if anyone will care about this post but I am doing it because it is a way for me to release my feelings. So many people abandoned me when Rob died, everyone was always going to be there but no one is. In one phone call I was told that my husband of 18 years was brain dead and would not live. They kept him alive for 2 days so family could fly to Florida and then it was over. I was the one that had to make the decision to shut off the machine, I was the one that had to plan the funeral, I was the one that knew when that door at the funeral home opened that my love, my partner, my best friend was going to be on the other side on a slab......Jesus, how do you recover from this. How do you go on and live?

Permalink Reply by Joe T on January 19, 2010 at 11:01am

I've obviously posted my story in the wrong place...how do I remove it? My apologies...

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