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I lost my husband Rob on Feb 3, 2005. It has been over three years and I dont feel that I am healing at all. He died in a motorcycle accident in Florida (we are from MA). He was only 40 years old. My life is so upside down. I dont know who I am anymore, it has changed me on every level. I have two boys ages 19, and 17. I dont want to do all of this on my own anymore. I dont want ALL the responsibility. I am in danger of loosing my house because he had no . I dont even know if anyone will care about this post but I am doing it because it is a way for me to release my feelings. So many people abandoned me when Rob died, everyone was always going to be there but no one is. In one phone call I was told that my husband of 18 years was brain dead and would not live. They kept him alive for 2 days so family could fly to Florida and then it was over. I was the one that had to make the decision to shut off the machine, I was the one that had to plan the funeral, I was the one that knew when that door at the funeral home opened that my love, my partner, my best friend was going to be on the other side on a slab......Jesus, how do you recover from this. How do you go on and live?
Lynette,
I read your post which said your husband died in February 2005 and I'm not sure if you are still following these conversations, now that it is over six years later. You said how everyone abandoned you and you had to carry all the burden of responsibility on your own shoulders. That is so very difficult, I know. When my 26 year old son was murdered, I had to do most everything necessary to close out his life here on earth. It's the hardest time of my life so far. At the end of your message you asked: Jesus, how do you recover from this. How do you go on and live? You actually answered your own question. Jesus is how you recover and go on and live while you are still here and after you leave this earth. Without the Lord, I would not have healed and continued to live a fruitful life. I would not be where I am today and would not have the hope of heaven to look forward to. I pray that by now you have settled into your life without your dear husband. I know he was precious to you, no one wants to lose the people who mean so much to them. It happens everyday, unfortunately. Those of us left here need to learn to make the most of our lives and to live for a purpose outside of the relationship we have lost. If you are still hurting and lonely, please write me back and I will share some more thoughts on how to move through grief. I now devote my time as a volunteer to helping people who are grieving. It would be my honor to help you in anyway I can. God bless you.
Barbara
Lynette,
I read your post which said your husband died in February 2005 and I'm not sure if you are still following these conversations, now that it is over six years later. You said how everyone abandoned you and you had to carry all the burden of responsibility on your own shoulders. That is so very difficult, I know. When my 26 year old son was murdered, I had to do most everything necessary to close out his life here on earth. It's the hardest time of my life so far. At the end of your message you asked: Jesus, how do you recover from this. How do you go on and live? You actually answered your own question. Jesus is how you recover and go on and live while you are still here and after you leave this earth. Without the Lord, I would not have healed and continued to live a fruitful life. I would not be where I am today and would not have the hope of heaven to look forward to. I pray that by now you have settled into your life without your dear husband. I know he was precious to you, no one wants to lose the people who mean so much to them. It happens everyday, unfortunately. Those of us left here need to learn to make the most of our lives and to live for a purpose outside of the relationship we have lost. If you are still hurting and lonely, please write me back and I will share some more thoughts on how to move through grief. I now devote my time as a volunteer to helping people who are grieving. It would be my honor to help you in anyway I can. God bless you.
Barbara
Nancy, I'm so sorry for all your loss, ny heart broke reading what you've been through. It is unimaginable the hurt you've had to deal with not only the loss but the other physical loss. I pray for the emptiness and the financial burden you've had to endure. You obviously are a strong woman and you'll get through it with time, family, friends and comfort from God. There may be free charities locally that may be able to help with some support. If I may I'd like to offer these verses that gave me comfort during my loss, I hope they help you:
1) A loving God would never take our loved ones: (James 1:13) “With evil things God cannot be tried nor does he himself try anyone.”
2) God will comfort you: (Psalm 34:18) “Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart; And those who are crushed in spirit he saves.”
3) Jesus Christ, thru God’s Kingdom, will bring our loved ones back healthy: “I am the resurrection and the life. He that exercises faith in me, even though he dies, will come to life.” (John 11:25) ~ Hope this comforts you like it has my family during loss
4)(Psalm 72:12-13) For he will deliver the poor one crying for help, Also the afflicted one and whoever has no helper. 13 He will feel sorry for the lowly one and the poor one, And the souls of the poor ones he will save.
You're in my thoughts and prayers and if you ever want to talk, please reach out.
I'm only 13 and I just felt the most miserable pain yesterady. I lost my grandpa just yesterday night. I really didn't know what was happening at first, my mom bursted out her room in tears and started shouting at the phone. My grandpa lives hundreds of hundreds miles away (Korea from America). My mom started mumbling out words when i rushed down to see what happened. All i heard was "Gra..nd..pa p..ass..ed a.wa..y". At first i didn't know what she was saying and suddenly i fell to the ground and started pouring out tears. My mom still was trying to contact her sisters and my relatives in Korea but her hands were shaking she just couldn't. I didn't know what to do, my brother and dad didn't know what happened. My brother was out playing basketball and my dad out working, and in all honesty i'm not a really a "helping" person. I suck at making people feel better so all i did was leave my mom downstairs and started rushing up to my room. At first I didn't know what was happening, I almost fainted. I fell on my bed and started shouting at God to help me, to help my mom, to let the pain go away. I felt horrible for leaving my mom crying downstairs, but that was all i could do.
I was just a normal 13 years old girl until this event happened. A day passed and today here I am. I know "only a day passed, It'll be better" but no. I know for sure I won't be back to my normal hyper self for a very long time. My moms on the plane right now flying to Korea and i really wanted to go and see my grandfather's face for the VERY last time until he lies on the ground below me and until I meet him up there, but school and testing got in the way. Even at school today i felt so miserable I even asked the principle today if i can be alone in the libaray. I bursted out crying, for 3 periods straight. ( About 3 hours). My eyes were puffy and when i got out, everyone asked me what happened, and i answered by crying some more. I just wanted to be alone and cry out my whole heart. I miss my grandpa now, i always will. Help me please. I haven't seen my grandpa since 3 years ago and I was planning myself to go next summer and be with him 24/7 and now, hes gone. Gone, gone from my life. I have plenty of years left of me but now it feels so useless now.
I lost my son Chad a few short days ago..well on the 7th it will be one month. I am heart broken, and I cry ALOT! I got the news with a knock at my door telling me my son Chad was dead. He hit his head when he went on a walk..have no idea what he hit it on..and he drowned. Just like that! He was gone. No warning at all. We looked for him, yelled, cried, prayed. On the first night after being gone all night long..I knew. Moms' I guess, just know when something is not right with their child.
I can't imagine life without him, yet I'm having to take this on anyway. WHY? Yes, I ask why. All the time. I don't understand it. It's not normal to bury your own child. It's out of order, and it HURTS like nothing I've ever known in my life. He was so sweet, so good to me. To him I was like the BEST person in the world. He was to me too. I have another daughter, and she is my life too. I love her so much. She misses him too. We all do.
Sudden death should not even exist in this world!! Yet, it does, and we get that slap in the face. It doesn't single anyone out. It could happen to anybody. I happened to ME!!
I miss you Chad.
Always...
~Mom~
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