hi margie,i wouldnt know how to stand up there and talk about someone i lost or loved so much,at my sons funeral my husband could go up there and thanked everyone for coming if i would of stood up there i probly would of broke down,but i think the decision is yours.if you can get up in front of people than i would but my son knew that i wasnt a speaker or anything else.but sorry for your loss ok.it is real sudden for your loss,mine has been almost 2 years and it is still hard for me i have to around my sons birthday i have to go back to support group because it is hard for me to cry infront of my friends that i work with,they say it is alright to cry and i tell them no and i go to the bathroom and cry.today i just let it out.but i hope you feel comfort in this.and do what you have to do for whom ever you lost ok.thanks and keep in touch
I went numb Dont Remember any of the words, but I had to let everyone and the whole world know what she meant to me. I'm not a speaker either, she was just so important to me. I was so HONORED when her husband, my mothers younger brother, Her daughters and son ask me to speak about her.
I am so sorry for your loss of your wonderful loving son. My heart stops for your overwhelming pain. I know he would have loved the cake you baked for his birthday. Its ok to cry there would be no flowers without rain. I know He loves you and one day you will meet again. I pray that it will get easier for you. You have got to be a very strong person, to be able to reach out to others and be such a confort to them. Thank you so very much.
Kathys mother buried her husband, then her son,then her mother, then Kathy her daughter. When I feel sorry for myself I think of her. Ive been talking to her each day. I pray for her broken little heart also.
I lost the one person who has always been my best friend since I can remember, my father, one month and 2 days ago. I am so lost. It is a feeling that is indescribeable...there are no words to explain. I feel like a whole part of me has just up and gone from within me. This was something that was not forseen, something that was so tragic that it is just so hard to understand.He was only 53, in the prime of his life...newly married, happy and just living life. He fell down a flight of stairs and sustained severe head injuries that he could not overcome. He raised me from a little baby to a woman, so unselfishly, loving, caring, and giving. I dont know how to deal with this. I have so many questions of WHY, WHY HIM, WHY NOW. And I know we are never supposed to question GODS work but I am having the hardest time understanding all of this. My mother passed away 4 years ago and my son's father 5 years ago, so I have experienced loss but nothing like the loss of my dad. Besides my own children, he was my world, my everything, the part of me that meant the most in life...and now he is gone...as is my mind. I feel like a lost soul, and I dont know what to do.
Randi my thoughts and prayers go out to you for the terrible loss; and one thing I can tell you is take one day at a time, and if that is not possible 1 minute at a time. I have been through it so I know first hand what you are going through. I lost my husband 1 year ago to a car accident caused by error of judgement by another driver. I talked to him an hour prior and told him to be careful, but it didn't turn out that way. I have a 28 yr. old son who is tore daily that is dad's not here and a learning disabled daughter who misses him constantly. One important thing you need to do is take care of yourself; that means eat ,shower, rest and be there for your kids. Ask for help from family friends grief counseling to help you through this. There will be days you need to be alone and thats okay, but don't go through it alone. When you are ready you might want to consider writing a journal, even if it is a couple of words or if you just want to say why?, it might help the process , and you can look back on the journal weeks or months from when you first started and you will be amazed how far you have come. Another thing to remember is the grieving process takes a while; and you may never get the answer to your WHY questions. I had those questions to when my husband was killed, I think we all do when we loose someone. I don't know how old your children are but you need to be there for them, tell them stories about Grandpa and how he raised you. Another thing you can do on special days birthday , Fathers day or other holidays take some notes and tie them to balloons and let them go in the air, have them talk to him say good night good morning. Well I talked enough, I hope you better 1 day at a time.
Randi I feel very sorry for the loss of your Father wish I could take the pain away. I have found some help in writing down memories we shared special times things that made me laugh. I looked back at my losses i have been writing poems about each of the people that mean so much to me. So now i find myself writing again. Trying to put all my poems and stories together so that if someone didnt know them or even for some people who did know them can enjoy them again. Stories have a way of getting lost so if you write them down maybe you have them to read later.I dont know what is the right way. I wil be thinking about you. My first death in a series of 3 was also 1 month and 2 days ago. Its been really hard. I feel for all of you with your losses. They just took my aunts guest book off legacy seem like I lost her again. My husband just lost laid off and did not have the money to pay for it.
Hi Randi I too lost someone who was my best friend 2 months ago, MY husband
was killed in a tragic train accident just around the corner from our home. We too were only married for a short time and I had the same questions as he was only 50 yrs old and we just had all our ducks in a row and were enjoying everything that we worked so hard for. What has helped me if you believe in eternity is Sylvia Brownes book Life on the other side. she has also wrote many others that help also. I truly hope that you are close to his new wife as you need each other right now and I hope that maybe we can chat someday.
randi,sorry for your loss.i have never yet lost a mom or dad,but i keep saying to my self what am i going to do if i ever lost my dad for sure me and him are so close we call each other and do stuff together.reading your story put tears to my eyes.i lost a son almost 2 years ago he was only 16,they say that is harder but reading your story it sounds like loosing a parent is hard to because they do things with you when your little and stuff and than you grow up and they still are around.but on his birthdays.holidays and anytime you want to reallly make him a cake and take to the cemetary and make his favorite food to.and sing happy birthday to him.go to support groups because they know what you are going throu because i go to one ever since my son passed away.he has been gone almost 2 years and i cant deal with it yet.his birthday was sept 12th and i really needed help because he would of turned 18 this year.they say to light a candle and write in a journal for 5 minutes about the good times you had together and talk about him dont put him in the closet,i have so many good friends that listen to me because he should of still been here for me.talk to your family and friends.my mom listens to me but my dad is in denile yet about the whole situation.well take care and i hope this helps.kristi
..the pain never truly goes away, it just gets smaller and condensed, tucked away in a corner somewhere in the deep recesses of the heart. There it remains at a constant low level ache, which with time may be overridden. There may be times when a site, a smell, a place, a song, an anniversary or birthday will trigger the old memories and the intensity of the grief and loss will return again. These feelings often arrive without warning and can be just as painful making one feel as though he was experiencing the loss anew......................................................pls you can email me firstname.lastname@example.org so that we can both share more on same issue.
HI SUSAN,HAVE YOU WENT THROU A LOSS,I KNOW THE PAIN NEVER GOES AWAY BECAUSE I HAVE DEALT WITH THIS FOR 2 YEARS NOW AND IT WAS GETTING ALITTLE EASIER,BUT SINCE MY FRIEND SHOT HISSELF AND THE 2 YEARS HAS GONE BUT THIS BROUGHT ME OVER THE EDGE.HE TOOK HIS LIFE AT AGE 41 AND HE LEFT BEHIND 3 YOUNG CHILDREN AND A WIFE.THAT HURT NO ONE KNOWS WHY HE DID IT,IT IS 2 DIFFERENT THINGS EVERYONE KEEPS TELLING ME BUT MY SON AND MY FRIEND ARE 2 DIFFERENT THINGS BUT MY SON GOT SHOT BY HIS FRIEND AND DIED,AND MY FRIEND SHOT HIMSELF BUT THEY BOTH HAD THE GUN AND THATS WHAT HURTS.THANK YOU FOR WRITING YOU CAN KEEP THE LEGACY'S COMING OK.OR MY EMAIL NAME IS KRISTI_ARMSTRONG2000@YAHOO.COM LOWER CASE OK.OR MY SPACE NAME IS KRISTI ARMSTRONG FOR SEARCHING FOR ME OK.
I lost my mom September 9th 2008. She went to bed and never woke up again. They say she wasn't getting enough air,only Carbon Dioxide. Her husband said she'de be fine just has to sleep it off. I really think he had work the next day and didn't want to spend all night in the E.R. Plus he made out well financialy since she's been gone. All the money in prayer cards, 2 paychecks of hers, and a life insur. policy. He says theres only 1,however people say that seems odd since she was a city of Philadelphia employee. I miss her so much. She was always supportive and made me feel loved. I was happy when she was proud of me, now I have no help. Day to day is a struggle and she'de NEVER want it that way. I am in school and a single parent of an 8mo. old infant. My mom I'm sure isn't happy that when she peeks on us I have absolutely NO help. However what can I do? Thats the heartless people I have in my life. People say I'm to giving. I'de rather be known that way then being known as someone selfish,self-centered or unhelpful. My mother raised me better than that.
Bernadette I am so sorry for the loss of your mom: I lost my husband of 30 years last July of 07, and it still hurts. I know as more time passes it will get tucked in a corner with all my other memories, but quite honestly when holidays or B days etc. come around I look back on those special times we had, not with just tears but with laughter to. If I may ask is your moms husband your dad; if you can could you or if you have an attorney to look into her finances to see if she had a will or if you could find any documents stating you are entitled to something. I was very lucky when my husband died he left everything to me; but what I did was help my son and daughter-in-law out with their home and paid off some bills like I did, so all we had was utilities and food etc. to pay for. But sadly there are families that don't share even if there is a will or not a will; to me family is family. When you are ready I would begin writing a journal for as far back as you can remember about your mom and other family members, and what kind of childhood you had and if you have any brother or sisters and how you all grew up together. This might help you with your grief, and begin the healing process, I have been writing in one for a year now, and it does help. Once you have those words of sadness grief and whatever else you are thinking on paper they loose all their power. God and your mom are watching over you and your 8 month old child, and she is so proud of you. You may not feel it right now but you will, and don't let anyone else tell you other wise. If you have a real good friend or family member you could count on talk to them tell them how you feel, don't keep it bottled up inside that is the worst thing to do. Above all take care of yourself and your 8 month old; plenty of sleep eat right and maybe go to a park or somewhere to just be together. I will go for now and I will be thinking about you.
Hi Bernadette,its been a little bit since anyone heard from me. My name is Elaine and I to lost my mother 21 yrs ago. She was a mother,and a friend to me. I was able to talk to my mom about anything. When I was having man problem,children problem,family problem,the only thing that I couldnot talk to her about was a job problem,becaue she never worked. My Mom had 10 kids and she always said that was her full time job. When she passed away it felt like I had only a small piece of heart left. This is how much I was hurting. I did not know what to do anymore,asking everyone what am I going to do with out her. I stayed home from work 1 month trying to get my self together. I had no chose than to go back to work. My Mom use to keep my kids while I worked. This was the hardest thing for me. You know no one will take care of your kids like your Mom did. I cried many of nights saying,Lord if only I had my Mom just to talk to I would be alright. My kids are grown now and I still say if Ella was here I bet they would not be doing the things that they were doing. Bernadette just remember that your Mom will always be there watching over you and you 8month old child. Now you have a family here with Legacy Connect that you can talk to. We all know what you might be going through. It will hurt you for a while but in Gods own time he will mend your broken heart. You know Bernadette I am good at trying to comfort other people when I to needs plenty of comfort and prayers my self. I lost my Mom,Dad and two sons.I want to also say that Earth Has No Sorrow That Heaven Cannot Heal. I will be praying for you and with you and asking God to grant you the strength and the will to go on forward with wisdom,knowledge and a better understanding with raising your child. Feel free to write anytime you feel sad or lonely. We are here for you. May God be with you. Don't worry about your Mom husband because money don't last always. Its just like the spiritual song that says " I'm So So Glad That Trouble Don't Last Always. May God Be With You.