Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Suzanne on August 20, 2010 at 10:28am

Dear Kim,
So sorry you are going through emotional times. You are in my prayers every day and especially now.
Take care. God bless,
Suzanne

Permalink Reply by Connie on August 20, 2010 at 3:04pm

Kim, I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Life is so very difficult. I have been fortunate that I have had our youngest daughter home on summer break for the last few months. Usually when we go out we go together. But she is going back to school next Thursday after dropping me at the airport. I will be going to Orlando with my middle daughter and her family. I am looking forward to that but I know when I come home it will be to an empty house. That is so difficult. But one way or another, we are going to get through it day by day. I think that is how it is supposed to work anyway.

Kim, keep strong. Your children need you now more than ever.

Permalink Reply by Connie on August 20, 2010 at 3:04pm

Kim, I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Life is so very difficult. I have been fortunate that I have had our youngest daughter home on summer break for the last few months. Usually when we go out we go together. But she is going back to school next Thursday after dropping me at the airport. I will be going to Orlando with my middle daughter and her family. I am looking forward to that but I know when I come home it will be to an empty house. That is so difficult. But one way or another, we are going to get through it day by day. I think that is how it is supposed to work anyway.

Kim, keep strong. Your children need you now more than ever.

Permalink Reply by Fernandohulya on August 20, 2010 at 3:59pm

Kim, you all will be in my thoughts. I want to start travelling to as my husband loved a good travel, once his first anniversary passed I am thinking of either Australia, Japan or Africa. His wishes are so important to me and I try to keep them as much as I can even though it will be difficult for me not to go to his place every day. A friend said that my Baby's is going to be always in my heart and soul and his shell is part of him but his wishes are more what we have to treasure, so step by step I am reclaim him as he is with us as an Angle but just not visible to me. For me my Baby is with me every time I look at my children although I want him back as he was before the illness I have to do what is in front of me. Every day I wake up I expect him laying beside me or get my morning kiss saying 'here is your cappucino and how is my grumpy and gorgeous wife". I miss that so much! It is so hard being in the house without him physically not being here but he is in me and in my children. I feel so blessed to have our two beautiful children.

with lots of hugs

Permalink Reply by Kim Hawkins on August 20, 2010 at 11:39pm

Thanks everyone for your prayers and words of encouragement.

Permalink Reply by Kim Hawkins on August 21, 2010 at 6:05pm

I am already not looking forward to tomorrow. We would have been having a great day for our anniversary, I will be driving 4 hours back home from the beach with my kids. Hope I don.t cry the whole time. I do plan on going to the cemetary sometime tomorrow evening. Hope I can make it though the day and the his birthday next monday. I so wish e was here with me and the kids. He never forgot our anniversary.

Permalink Reply by Marlena on August 22, 2010 at 12:09am

Kim,

You are in my thoughts as you go through today and the coming weeks. It is so hard when everything comes at you at once.

Good for you for continuing to do what you would normally have done together. You are showing your boys that even though life has thrown you a giant curve ball and it can be very hard to handle, life must still keep moving forward (even though we wish everything would come to a halt so we could catch up).

I have realized that the build up to the special days has actually been worse than the day itself. I am hoping that is how it will be for you. For me, it was a relief to say that I made it through all the firsts.

Thinking of you on your special day.

Marlena (and Tom)
Always and Forever

Permalink Reply by judy on August 22, 2010 at 1:04am

You are in my thoughts and prayers and you are so much doing the right thing with your children. I know it is hard but I know your husband is proud of you.

Permalink Reply by Kim Hawkins on August 23, 2010 at 9:54am

Well I made it though the day. I spent part of it driving back fron the beach with my kids. I kept looking at the clock thinking this time 18 years ago we were fixing to get married, now saying our vows. Then later just thinking how happy we were to be married and going on our honeymoon. We had a great marriage and a lot of great memories. The only thing I would change was Barry getting sick. I miss him so much and will always love him with all my heart.

Now getting though the rest of the week. My kids start back to school wednesday and Barrys birthday is the 30th.