aborted grandchild, grieving grandmother


aborted grandchild, grieving grandmother

I am a grandmother of an aborted grandchild. The pain and sadness can become overwhelming. I wanted to find a place where other grandparents who are suffering through the loss of their grandchild through abortion, can share their experiences and connect with others. My life completely changed after my daughter aborted her baby. I have cried so much and have so many emotions bottled up inside that at times I find it hard to even interact with people. The relationship between my daughter and I is strained, but I have continued to love her and support her because the love of a mother is never-ending and unconditional. The abortion happened this past July 2017. My 20 yr old daughter, who's been with her boyfriend since high school, told me she was pregnant. It was not what I wanted for her because she is still in college and her BF is not a very good person. But, My husband and I reassured her and let her know that we love her and would be there every step of the way. She had always been against abortion and even wrote a paper on why it is murder. Her BF did not want the child and her Bio dad also encouraged abortion without me knowing. Four days after finding out, my daughter went behind my back, with her dad and terminated the pregnancy. She was early enough in the pregnancy where they gave her pills and told her she would expel the "tissue" and it would be gone... just like that. So, my grandchild was put to death for very selfish reasons. His/her precious soul, flushed down a toilet like waste. I have never experienced the kind of heart wrenching pain as I did the day she told me. No one could have prepared me for what I felt and am still going through almost 5 months later. I pray a lot and cry every month around the day it happened. I have written letters to the baby, I also have a memorial stone made and plan on having my own burial on the due date which is March 23,2018. I don't think I will ever heal, but it helps to allow yourself to mourn and cry and talk about it. No one will ever understand, but my faith in God is what gets me through the moments of anger and deep sadness. She is my only daughter and the baby was my first grandchild. I don't think she understands that the abortion affected a lot of people, not just her and her BF. Although, I am not sure how affected they are. My relationship with her has changed, I feel a sense of anger and deep disappointment. She made a decision that would forever alter her life in a day without even coming to me for advice. We have always been close and she was raised in a very loving home. Her father and I divorced when she was 4 and I remarried when she turned 8. Her step dad has been a positive influence in her life, unlike her bio dad. I know she wasn't ready and that it would have been an inconvenience due to school and the fact that her BF didn't want to be a part of it, but those are the consequences of having unprotected sex.  A baby should not have to die so you can live your life the way you want. Children are a gift from God, precious little angels and I have no idea how anyone can justify killing their own child. You will never be able to run from the nightmare that is abortion. It will haunt you every day of your life. I know that every year on March 23rd, I will think about my grandbaby and how old he/she would have been. Every year on July 27, I will think about when his/her precious little heart stopped beating. I will mourn his/her death until I leave this earth.  My heart will forever have a hole and I will never get over this. 

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