Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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Lost my husband

Started by Mary Clough. Last reply by Marsha H on Thursday. 96 Replies

One Day At A Time

Started by Marty Wright. Last reply by Maureena Womack Sep 8. 22 Replies

Lonely and depressed in Maryland...

Started by Bill Fair. Last reply by Deb S Aug 27. 6 Replies

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Comment by Carol Kayser 1 hour ago
Dear Chicago Beard. Sending condolences on your 6th anniversary of your beloved Rose. I wholeheartedly agree with your message to Harold. I too just passed the 6th anniversary of my darling Jack's passing. I miss him so very much, from his laugh, his voice, his tall frame, everything I keep in my heart.
So glad you have happiness and yet still keep those memories of your sweet Rose alive.

Comment by Chicago Beard 8 hours ago


No problem. The first year was the hardest for me. Everything I did reminded me that I was alone. Don't beat yourself up. The whole purpose of this group as I see it is to be able to vent, get support and give support. I am fortunate that I have found someone new. That does not mean I miss Rose any less. I am just not near as lonely. I was not hurt or insulted. I was glad my post gave you an opportunity to vent. I believe our late spouses want us to continue to live as best we can. They would not want us sad anymore than they did when they were with us. You are going to feel what you feel. Do not deny it or judge it. Experience it and get through it. The longer we go on it gets less painful. I will not say easier, but, yes, less painful. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and eventually there will be pieces of life that you will enjoy again. Be as well as you can. You have my complete support.

Comment by Harold McKinstry 9 hours ago

Chicago Beard

Meant to offer support and condolences, didn't mean to drop a bunch of dark stuff on you. Eighth Month Anniversary seems to be bugging me more, closer to a year I don't know why to tell you the truth. I should probably keep my post short around the 29th I'm usually not this depressing.  

Comment by Trina Mamoon 10 hours ago

Dear Chicago Beard,

My condolences. Sending you healing thoughts and vibes of empathy on this 6th anniversary of your beloved Rose's passing. Hang in there, and let the love and good memories of your happy life together carry you through this day and always.

Hugs, Trina

Comment by Harold McKinstry 10 hours ago

Chicago Beard

Sorry about the six year anniversary of Rose's passing. My wife Diane passed away January 29th, every month around the 29th it feels like an anniversary I get depressed, and melancholy. Diane's dying has changed the way I look at Life, I don't feel like you can depend on much, I no longer assume you have all the time in the world, don't take anything for granted. I feel like Death is at my door softly knocking, just waiting. My Father in Law is coming up on 92, My Mother has Congested Heart Failure and Dementia, My Dad is 85 and i can tell the difference in the last year in his health, and my sweet Dogs who have helped me through so much are 13 and 12. It's like a bad game show spin the wheel of death to see who is next. I know it's not healthy to think like that and normally I wouldn't otherwise why would you want to get out of bed ever. Yes I do get out of bed and find a way to put one foot in front of the other to keep moving on. I do get tired of the everyday loneliness and pain, not being able to look far ahead. I often want Diane or anybody to appear in front of me and tell me what to do what to feel how to go on but there are no answers that seems to suck all the strength out of me some days. I have no answers or a clue that drives me nuts. I guess there are no easy answers we just keep moving forward and hopefully figure it out as we go along.   

Comment by Harold McKinstry 10 hours ago


Thanks for the nice comment of appreciation. Like Chuck commented on something special is going on here. I have been into computers before the Internet, that makes me pretty old. I have never been into Social Media much. Because of the anonymity too many people spew whatever they want no matter how hurtful without giving it a second thought. On this site I have never seen anyone say anything that could possibly be taken offense too. It doesn't matter if your young, old, same sex couple or how long since your Loved one passed. I think the biggest thing about this site for me is you can post whatever your feeling, and people will respond with care, concern and real affection. After awhile in the real world people just don't understand, they don't know what to say or expect you to have moved on more and quit whining. On this site we all get it and know there is nothing anyone can say to make it all better. Just the fact that you can get people to Listen offer Understanding and Comfort makes all the difference in the World. Without this site I would not get that and would be in much worse shape than I am now. You have been there for me and others also Trina, it's not a complex thing just be there listen and offer support. Being like many men when Diane would have something bothering her I would want to fix it, come up with a solution. It took me a while but i finally learned how to shut up and listen more. I would give anything to be able to listen to her again. I find it helps me a little when I can offer support to someone else.    

Comment by Chicago Beard 10 hours ago


I will be pulling for you with the housing authority. Hope you get excellent news. Do not worry about "dumping" on us as that is what we are all here for. To help each other through this thing that no one wants to go through. Hope you get in a nice place that gives you some peace.


Comment by Deb S 11 hours ago

Chicago Beard, Major hugs, good thoughts, and prayers are on their way to you. Rose was an amazing woman and I am so sorry that this is the 6th anniversary of her passing. You have my heartfelt condolences and sympathy today. Love, Debbie

Comment by Todd B. Goodrich 13 hours ago

Hi Pete!

And same for you! Thoughts, prayers, hugs and strength. Take care.


Comment by Todd B. Goodrich 13 hours ago

Hi Chicago,

Hang in there brother! Strength, love, and hugs to you sir!

You are in our thoughts and prayers tonight!



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