Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Mary Jane Stark on August 20, 2009 at 11:33am

Hi Drue. My loss is also new. My hubby passed away Juny 27th, 2009, one week shy of our 9 month anniversary. We were an older couple, me being 54 and he being 56. My hubby had only been sick that we knew about for less than two months. I had him cremated and I talk to him everyday. He is on my mantle beside a picture of him. I talk and I cry. I sleep with a photo album of pictures of him at night. You are not alone. I talk to my hubbie's mom and triplet brother about once a week. They are not local.

Permalink Reply by Amy on August 21, 2009 at 7:40pm

I don't even have the words to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. --Amy

Permalink Reply by Leslie on August 21, 2009 at 10:45pm

Drue,

My loved one, John, has not yet passed, but his situation is hopeless. We shared five years together. A longtime diabetic, he suffered from significant health problems and received a kidney last year. He went into the hospital on Aug. 6 for treatment of an infection and was recovering well. On Monday, Aug. 10, he suffered a very serious stroke, with no chance to speak or function independently every again. Last weekend, he was able to respond to commands and stroke my face. He now no longer responds, and we are discontinuing measures to prolong his life. I am devastated.

I am 45 years old, and he is 43. I move from numbness to tears to nothing. I am known to be a strong woman, but I am at a loss about the longer-term prospects for my life. We have few friends here, since we were both so consumed with his health issues.

You are not alone, although it feels that way. I am so glad I found this place online. I feel alone myself, until I come here late at night and read about the experiences of others in my shoes.

I pray for you, and I pray I will survive, too.

Love to you,

Leslie

Permalink Reply by Drue Johns on August 26, 2009 at 1:43pm

Mary Jane Stark said:

Hi Drue. My loss is also new. My hubby passed away Juny 27th, 2009, one week shy of our 9 month anniversary. We were an older couple, me being 54 and he being 56. My hubby had only been sick that we knew about for less than two months. I had him cremated and I talk to him everyday. He is on my mantle beside a picture of him. I talk and I cry. I sleep with a photo album of pictures of him at night. You are not alone. I talk to my hubbie's mom and triplet brother about once a week. They are not local.

Permalink Reply by Ericka Bryant on August 28, 2009 at 4:51pm

Dear Drue,

Interestingly, I lost my husband, Caleb, on July 4, 2008, a day shy of a year prior to your loss. I was 35 years old when he died, right in front of me. He was riding a motorcycle and collided head-on with an SUV. I was 2 seconds behind him on my own bike. He was 36. We were 3 months shy of our 10th anniversary. He was my everything. My life became an empty shell when he left. Were it not for the strength, support and love of family and friends after he passed, I think I might have died too.

It will get better, but it will never be the same. We are forever changed by these events. Yet those of us who remain have to put one foot in front of the other. Our loved ones are in a better place. We have work to do. Some days, all I can do is sit and tell myself I'm okay. And you know what? That's okay. Don't try to deal with everything at once. Life bombards you, yes. But you can do this.

Take care,
Ericka

Permalink Reply by Lisa on September 1, 2009 at 10:27am

Drue,

My loss is also new. I am a 31 year old mother.I lost my huband age 32,in April 2009. We were married just a few months away from our 10th anniversary. He was killed in an auto accident. He was the most wonderful man to me. He was a great husband and daddy. We have two precious small children. They are what keeps me going.

Permalink Reply by Drue Johns on September 2, 2009 at 9:17am

Lisa, I am so sorry for your loss. It is the most devastating thing to be so young and to be going through what we are. I don't even know how to function in my life anymore. Thursday September 3rd will be 2 months since my sweet husband Daniel passed away. I don't even know how I have made it this far. I am glad that you have your precious children and they bring strength to you during this difficult time. Where are you located? It would be so nice if I could find someone that is going through this that is close to where I live. I am from north Alabama. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your children.
Drue Johns

Lisa said:

Drue,

My loss is also new. I am a 31 year old mother.I lost my huband age 32,in April 2009. We were married just a few months away from our 10th anniversary. He was killed in an auto accident. He was the most wonderful man to me. He was a great husband and daddy. We have two precious small children. They are what keeps me going.

Permalink Reply by Drue Johns on September 2, 2009 at 9:21am

Ericka, Thank you for the encouraging thoughts. Drue

Ericka Bryant said:

Dear Drue,

Interestingly, I lost my husband, Caleb, on July 4, 2008, a day shy of a year prior to your loss. I was 35 years old when he died, right in front of me. He was riding a motorcycle and collided head-on with an SUV. I was 2 seconds behind him on my own bike. He was 36. We were 3 months shy of our 10th anniversary. He was my everything. My life became an empty shell when he left. Were it not for the strength, support and love of family and friends after he passed, I think I might have died too.

It will get better, but it will never be the same. We are forever changed by these events. Yet those of us who remain have to put one foot in front of the other. Our loved ones are in a better place. We have work to do. Some days, all I can do is sit and tell myself I'm okay. And you know what? That's okay. Don't try to deal with everything at once. Life bombards you, yes. But you can do this.

Take care,
Ericka

Permalink Reply by Karen on September 29, 2009 at 11:37pm

Drue,
I am also a young widow who lost her husband three months after being married. Our stories are very similar. Here one day and gone the next. My husband was killed in a construction accident at work. I remember those days, weeks and months after. It truly is a fog. You think that's just an expression until you live it yourself. It's hard to have dreams...he was the key to unlock them all. We didn't get to have children either, I think of that all the time...everything you mentioned I've thought myself. I feel like grieving is a full time job...it never ends.

Karen

Permalink Reply by Karen Mitchell on October 2, 2009 at 12:00am

Drue, I am so sorry for your loss. I understand your loss of a best friend. My husband was my best friend for almost 30 years. He had Pancreatic cancer, diagnosed in July of 07. He died in March 09 after suffering much. Keep spending time with family. You have all suffered, so you can all share in that. That should help some. I work so that keeps me busy, but I need more direction. I will be praying for you! God Bless! karen

Permalink Reply by BoLynn on October 2, 2009 at 1:49am

Drue, please know that you are not alone. All of us here have a different story with the same outcome..........deep sorrow and loneliness. It is a little over a month since I lost my husband of 28 years to lung cancer. Sometimes I don't want to wake up thinking of another day without him. Stay strong, Girl, we're all in this together.

Permalink Reply by Debra Smith on October 2, 2009 at 12:47pm

Iam so sorry to hear about your husband.My mom past away 12 years ago from bladder cancer. If you need a friend to talk to, I am there.for you. Love,Debbi

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